They stumble into the bedroom a tangle of limbs and breath. They have done this a hundred times, yet it is as intense as ever. It's always during these times that Ludger remembers the ache of the time before, remembers the throb of longing just beneath the skin of his body, and it makes those places ignite. He needs to feel Julius on each one, needs that to satisfy his raging hunger. Julius has pushed him back against the softness of the bed, and Ludger arches up, making as much contact as possible. He whines desperately, gives Julius those eyes, the eyes that drive him wild.
They're half clothed, and Julius pulls away just enough to fumble with the garments.
"Julius," Ludger whines, stretching his hand out to stroke down his chest which now stands bare and heaving.
His brother shivers before grunting and diving onto his lips in a wild frenzy that Ludger accepts gladly. His arms circle Julius' neck, tugging him as close as possible, and Julius shifts himself between Ludger's legs for comfort. Ludger takes that opportunity to wrap his legs securely around his waist. He can feel Julius' hardness pressed right between his hole and shaft, and both twitch with anticipation. His hands tug at his brother's hair, holding him so close for so long that Julius finally pulls back forcefully. They're both a panting mess, sucking in needed air, lips red and swollen, but Ludger runs his tongue along his own, already missing the contact.
"Ludger," Julius sighs, half reprimanding, half incredulous. Ludger just smirks, brushing his hand up and down his chest.
"I need you, Julius," he says with all sincerity, and Julius complies, knowing what he wants, what he always wants. He tastes along his jugular, appreciates the thump of blood coursing through the artery, blood that's coursing for only him at this moment. He runs his tongue in wet sweeps until Ludger's nails are biting into the back of his head. Julius' eyes close and he bites down on the flesh just above his collarbone. Ludger cries out once as the skin is pierced, then he alternates to a series of ragged breaths mingled with the echoes of "more" and "yes." He continues sucking there until he's sure the skin is bruised a deep purple and Ludger settles into a contented hum. He repeats this routine on the other side and then as far down as he can reach down his torso in his current position. It takes a while, and his cock is pulsing painful from the delicious noises his brother's making by the time he's finished.
Lifting his head, he makes eye contact, runs a finger slowly along the curve of his brother's face. First his brow, then his cheeks, his chin, and finally the surface of his lips. Ludger's eyes cloud a darker shade, and he coaxes that finger inside, licks and sucks around it, eyes fixated on Julius unblinkingly.
"Shit." Julius shudders. He rocks his hips forward, feels his shaft grind against Ludger's balls. He yanks his finger away from Ludger lips which are resistant to let it go. "Fuck, Ludger. I can't wait much longer."
Releasing his legs, Ludger releases a curling sound of enthusiasm. A tingle goes up Julius' spine at this, and he inserts that finger into him without pause. Ludger's knees turn inward, clenching hard against Julius' sides.
"Shh," Julius says soothingly, rubbing along his inner thigh until the muscles relax.
"No, rougher, Julius. I want you to break me."
"Fuck. You have no idea what you do to me." Ludger sighs deep in the back of his throat as he lifts his hips, impaling that finger deeper. "Fine." Suppressing a laugh, Julius shakes his head so that blond bands fall into his eyes. "I've never been one to deny you."
He presses one more finger, then a second without any more lubrication, and though Ludger's muscles tighten slightly with each, he doesn't complain, instead he hums, bending his toes in pleasure.
"Yes, god, Julius. Hurry."
Julius stabs in jagged movements, focusing more on stretch than reach. He finds that spot, grinning as Ludger cries out breathlessly.
"Ready?" he asks, always asks.
"Yes, yes," he pants with total abandon. "Fuck me, Julius. Fuck me until I can't think anymore."
That's all it takes for Julius to slide in with one quick motion. Nails dig into his biceps harshly, and Ludger bites his lip. He hovers motionless for half a second, just studying his face, making absolute sure before moving. His brother reclamps his legs around him, tugs him closer, deeper. Julius pulls back before thrusting back in forcefully. Ludger's head tilts back indenting the foam mattress at the same time that Julius releases a rumbling grunt.
"How are you always so damn tight?"
All Ludger does in way of answer is lean up to steal his lips. It's all tongue and teeth, and Julius can taste blood between them. He's not sure whose it is, but it doesn't matter; this blood is their connection.
Ludger pulls back when that spot is struck again. "Brother!" he cries louder than he remembers crying out before. It has been an unspoken agreement to no longer call each other that name. Their relationship is a sin difficult for Julius to bare, and ignoring that fact is the only way Julius can give in, to let himself go. Ludger knows this, and that's why he's always so careful to hold onto his reasoning during these moments, these moments when all he wants is to cry out that word, over and over again, because as shameless as it is, it's this fact that they are brothers that sets his heart and body aflame. It's something he's vowed from the beginning to keep hidden, lest it stain Julius' vision of him.
Ludger has clasped a hand to his mouth, ashamed that he let himself slip. "Sorry. I shouldn't have."
For an agonizing few seconds he fears Julius will pull out and leave the room without a word. His eyes have darkened unreadably, and all Ludger can do is stare at him and breath. Just breath.
Then he hears more than feels Julius shudder. His head falls to the crook of his neck and he breathes heavy, ragged breaths against his neck. "Say it again," his demands in a gravelly tone that makes Ludger's cock twitch.
Air is momentarily sucked from his windpipe. He's always assumed Julius' difficulties stemmed from the longing that they had not been born brothers. Because that would have solved all their problems. But, Ludger can tell that this thought has never crossed Julius' mind—just as it's never crossed Ludger's. No, Julius has wanted this as badly as he has, he just hates himself for it.
"Brother," he repeats, and Ludger can feel himself react even before Julius does. He's wanted this so badly. Wanted this release, this freedom, this claim of him. They share the same blood, the same home, the same devotion. They are brothers, from the beginning until the end. "Brother." And this time it's smooth and seductive.
Julius is moving again. Even as he breathes and shudders and sucks against the hollow of his neck he's rocking his hips in sharp motions. He feels hot, hotter than usual against Ludger's skin, and Ludger whines before repeating the word again.
This is more than he's ever allowed himself to wish for. His arms have wrapped themselves against his wide back as if he needs to possess him in all ways possible. "You too," he finally breaks out between moans.
"Brother," Julius whispers, at first so quiet Ludger wonders if he imaged it, but then he repeats it again, loud and sure and seductive, and Ludger quakes, every nerve in his body jolting with an electric current.
"Brother," he chokes out, tears filling his eyes now.
Their voices mingle together in a chorus, loud and broken, but heartfelt and lustful, and Ludger is surprised he hasn't completely lost his mind yet because it is so much. He can feel cloud-nine approaching, and he digs the heels of his feet into Julius' lower back.
"Bro…ther, more, I need you. So…much." He clenches his eyes shut, focusing entirely on the feel of his cock pulsing inside him, on the feel of their mixing heat and sweat.
Julius thrusts, hard and fast. Ludger is panting without pause, gripping him as tightly as he can, shaking all the while. He's close, so very close. He hears Julius' breath hitching even more, feels his thrusts become more reckless.
"Are you close?" he asks against his ear, humming when Julius' entire frame shudders.
Instead of answering, Julius joins their lips, completely devourers his mouth. Ludger gasps, and Julius' hand finds his cock, pumping it raw. Ludger's moans are swallowed up as he twists the head and dips into his sensitive slit.
When they break apart, Ludger's about to lose it entirely. He's not sure what noises he's making anymore, his ears engulfed with the sound of rushing blood. Then his back arches and he clamps his mouth onto Julius' shoulder. A drop of blood touches his lip just as his seed shoots between them, landing in messy blots. Julius grunts incoherently, pounds ruthlessly until his body shakes in release.
Ludger is petting his hair lovingly when he slides out with a slurping sound. They turn upon their sides so that they can mesh themselves together in a post-coital embrace. They're both sleepy and sated and it's pleasant, pleasanter than Ludger remembers feeling for years, since before these hidden feelings awoke inside him. He's held this pride, this kink, deep inside for so long, and the air is lighter now that it's there in the open.
"That was…" he pauses, searching for the right word. Finally he settles on amazing.
"More than that," Julius mutters, kissing the top of his damp head. "Miraculous."
It's such a powerful description especially for Julius, and it nearly causes Ludger's heart to burst from his chest. He nods emphatically, letting tears slip from his eyes unnoticed.
"It couldn't be anything less involving you, my dear, flawless baby brother."
Ludger cracks a smile at this. He nods again, hums happily, before kissing him intimately. They're brothers. They're brothers, and that's okay. For the first time since this began, it truly is okay.
Julius mouths the word—brother—against his lips.
Ludger shakes.