Trigger Warnings: Suicide, blood, violence
AN: This story is complete. It begins in the middle of "For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)" and contains a temporary major character death. Enjoy!
"There's so much fear!" Elsa gasped, her eyes shifting about like a cornered animal, finally settling on the ice wall beside her. She could see in the surface's reflection that Anna, as optimistic as always, kept inching nearer. Doesn't she understand the danger she is in?! Elsa thought in a panic and turned around.
"You're not safe here…" she addressed Anna and saw the flurries and winds picking up around her. If she completely lost control now, Anna would be killed! That terrified realization only introduced more snow into the tempest. Before Anna could move any closer through the gale, Elsa steeled herself and carefully created a thick wall of transparent ice between herself and her sister. She shot some ice at a corner of it and it did not go through, much to her relief. Anna was safe for the moment.
The girl in question was pressed up against the ice, her breath fogging the clear surface as she insisted that she could help Elsa thaw everything somehow. Elsa thought such a thing was impossible; she did not know how to thaw this ice. No one did. She knew it was all her fault that this had happened. It was her fault that Anna had to be standing there in the cold. She glanced up at the white streak in Anna's hair as the girl knocked, just as she had done her entire lonely childhood. I did this to her. I hurt her. I'm still hurting her. I'm a monster. Elsa turned away sharply and cast her gaze over the valley below the mountain castle. Everything was iced over. Her innocent kingdom was eternally cursed because of her. Unless… The darkest of thoughts sprang unbidden to her mind. The swirling winds stopped suddenly as if frozen in time. Anna took that as a good sign.
"There you go! Now how about you let me in and we'll figure this out together?"
Elsa did not seem to hear her. The older girl was facing away from her sister, her body a silhouette from the light of the magic in her grasp.
"Elsa, what are you doing?"
Elsa hid her hands from Anna. A few tears leaked from her eyes, crystallizing as snowflakes on the knife of ice now lying on her open palms. The queen touched her finger to the tip and winced as it instantly cut deep. Anna couldn't see the knife, but she saw crimson dots stain the ice beside her sister.
"Elsa!"
"Anna, I need you to look away." Her voice was all at once soft and terse.
"What? No! What are you doing?"
"The only way to end this curse is to destroy the cause of it. Then everything should go back to normal. The kingdom will be safe. You will be safe. Anna…" the words caught in Elsa's throat as a muffled sob. She wouldn't turn to meet her sister's eyes.
"No…" Anna's response was a horrified whisper at first as understanding dawned, before she repeated herself in increasing volume and terror, slamming her fists against the ice.
"Please don't watch," Elsa said, finally turning to reveal the sharp weapon in her hand.
"No! Elsa, don't! We'll find another way! There HAS to be another way! Please! I just got you back!" she wailed.
"There IS no other way!" Elsa exclaimed in startling harshness, sending ice spikes erupting from the floor around her. She cringed at her own dangerous reaction and backed up some more with her eyes still downcast. This has to happen NOW, before I hurt her. Again.
"Anna… I wish it didn't have to be like this. I have so many regrets. Maybe this will make up for all I have done to you. You will finally be safe from me. I am so sorry, Anna, for everything. I love you."
Not daring to make eye contact with her distraught sister, Elsa built a screen of opaque ice between the sobbing figure and herself. The dull thumps of Anna's fists came through muffled, as did her screams. They tore through Elsa's heart even as she prepared to pierce it with the wickedly sharp dagger. She knelt, taking the weapon in both hands, and rested the needlelike tip directly over her heart.
"I love you, Anna," she shouted again to the inconsolable form on the other side of the wall, and then prepared herself for what she had decided that she must do.
With all the strength and determination she could find, Elsa slammed the dagger into her chest. The pain was indescribable and she gasped in agony before collapsing to her side on the ice. The dagger melted almost instantaneously, but the damage was done. Blood pooled underneath Elsa's stricken body, its warmth beginning to melt the ice beneath her.
Anna threw herself against the ice wall again and again, out of breath from screaming and blinded by tears. Finally she stumbled through the barrier as it and the entire ice palace began to disintegrate. She caught a glimpse of Elsa's body bathed in red as the structure dissolved around them both. It steamed away from beneath her feet and Anna fell down, down to the natural snow bank that rested just below the peak of the mountain.
"Elsa! Elsa!" Anna was still shouting as she struggled to regain her footing. Swiping at the evaporating ice fog obscuring her vision, she stumbled forward and quickly found her sister.
"Elsa…" no longer wearing her magnificent ice dress, she looked smaller than before. Back in her coronation garb, Elsa lay slightly curled on her side. The dagger was gone, leaving a gaping hole in her chest. The snow was stained with blood and it was still pooling under Elsa's body as Anna staggered forward.
"No…"
Anna collapsed to her knees before the crumpled figure. She reached a hesitant hand to her sister's shoulder. Anna let loose a strangled sob, her chest tight and face screwed up in pain as she laid a hand on this familiar stranger. She hadn't even touched Elsa in thirteen years.
Anna brought a shaking hand to cup Elsa's still face. There was no pulse thrumming on her neck, no air moving the chest of her beloved sister. Anna finally caught her breath and let loose a fractured wail as she bent down and lifted Elsa's body into an embrace. She held tightly to the slim frame and trembled. Elsa… why? Why did you do this? It didn't have to be this way!
Hot tears pouring from her eyes, Anna shifted the limp form in her grasp. Elsa now lay cradled in Anna's arms, lying across her lap as she sat in the red-tinged snow. The young queen's face was so still, so relaxed - a far cry from the fear and pain it held just minutes ago. But she was so pale and cold now. Utterly devoid of life.
Anna nuzzled her face into Elsa's neck, seeking the once-familiar scent that had seemed for years little more than a pleasant dream. Anna rocked back and forth, sobbing and clinging to her dead sister, completely lost to the world in her grief.
"Elsa," Anna whispered brokenly through her tears. "No… Elsa… I just wanted you b-back," she leaned over the still face. "I love you. I love you so much," she choked out as she bent down and gently kissed Elsa's forehead.
Anna's eyes were shut tight, tears coursing down her face and mingling with the blood spattered on them both. Anna didn't see Elsa's forehead glow brightly for a moment under her lips. She didn't see the light that sprang through Elsa's body from every skin-to-skin point of contact between the two sisters. She didn't notice her own white streak of hair blaze into color. And for a moment, she didn't notice Elsa's chest begin to heave with life again. It wasn't until a wavering breath wheezed past her ear that Anna noticed something was different.
Hardly daring to hope, Anna pulled away from Elsa slightly and opened her eyes. The older girl's body seemed unchanged at first. Then Anna noticed that Elsa's wound was no longer bleeding. The rivulets that had been staining their clothes had stopped. Anna placed a shaking hand on Elsa's chest and felt a steady heartbeat and ragged breaths fighting beneath her palm. Anna let a shaky smile of wonder creep onto her face and she reached again to touch Elsa's cheek.
As soon as Anna's fingertips made contact, Elsa twitched. She took a deep shuddering breath and whimpered.
"Elsa! Oh Elsa!" Anna exclaimed through relieved sobs, holding her sister tightly.
"A-Anna?" the voice sounded choked and weak. Anna moved carefully to more adequately support Elsa's head. She was a limp weight in Anna's arms, but Elsa was alive.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," Anna soothed, though her voice was shaking terribly and her tears had hardly slackened. She smoothed some bloody, matted hair out of Elsa's face and Elsa's eyelids flickered. Elsa caught a glimpse of her sister's tearstained face before her strength gave out and her eyes fell shut again.
"It's going to be okay," Anna reassured Elsa as much as herself. "I'm right here. I've got you." Anna held her helpless sister protectively close as she looked around them for the first time. For once, silence reigned over the princess as she gazed out from the mountain peak.
Without the ice bridge, the two of them were now more or less stranded on the sharp snowy crag at the top of the mountain. Kristoff, Sven, and Olaf were nowhere to be seen. Olaf! She thought with horror. He must have… she couldn't bring herself to finish the thought. She bent her head miserably, feeling the loss. Her heart ached for him but not as bad as it did for the greater loss she almost suffered. Anna wrested herself free from her thoughts and forced herself to focus on the barely conscious figure in her arms.
"I've got you," she whispered again, searching around for any sign of help. Gradually she was able to hear a rambling voice floating through the whipping mountain wind.
"And then parts of me started drifting away and I couldn't catch them and Sven took my nose, which was very rude. Other Sven, you should have stopped Sven from doing that. But it's okay! Most of me is still here and when we find Elsa I'm sure she can fix me up. Sven, give that back!"
Anna almost started crying in relief again at the sound of Olaf's voice. She peered down across the chasm and saw Olaf, Sven, and Kristoff climb into view over the altered landscape.
"Anna!" The man shouted, catching sight of her.
"Hey! Kristoff!" she responded in relief, but she stopped when the figure in her arms whimpered a bit. Anna drew her sister closer and called out,
"Help us! Please!"
"Who's Kristoff," she heard the snowman question from below as she gathered Elsa's body into her arms and stood shakily in the bloodied snow. Elsa moaned at the movement, and Anna murmured a soft apology as she carefully approached the edge. Kristoff gaped at the two figures that finally came fully into view.
"What happened?" he shouted up at Anna as she sat down again.
"I'll explain later," she called back. "Please get us down from here!" Kristoff gazed up at them, completely at a loss. He had a length of rope, a reindeer, a talking snowman, and an ice axe at his disposal, and not much else.
"Okay…"
He turned to the rock face Anna had tried to scale not an hour ago. It looked doable, but he was at a loss as to how he would get the women back down. He began walking along the base of the ridge to see if there was an easier way up.
Anna, still seated on top of the mountain, melted some snow in her hand and used it to wash off the blood spattered on Elsa's face. Elsa jerked at the sensation and opened her eyes. Blue met blue and Anna smiled lovingly despite the emotional torment she had just experienced. It had been so long since she'd really looked into Elsa's eyes. There was so much fear staring back at her. Elsa twitched weakly as if desperately trying to get away.
"N-no," the hoarse whisper tore from the injured queen's throat. "I-I'll hurt y-you." Anna almost scoffed in response.
"You couldn't possibly hurt me like this. You can't even move. Elsa, it's okay. Shh…" Elsa's struggles seemed to weaken her quickly and she was still once more. Anna gently caressed her sister's hair and Elsa's face relaxed, an expression of shy bliss overcoming the terror on her pale face. Anna grinned at this and continued her ministrations.
It wasn't long before Elsa completely dropped off to sleep. Anna felt her sister slowly go limp in her arms and her breathing deepened. Anna took a moment to examine Elsa. She was curious, after all, about the injury that had so miraculously been healed.
The self-inflicted mortal wound had torn Elsa's dress. Anna moved the fabric enough to see what remained of the injury. Amidst the sticky drying blood there was a thick red scar between Elsa's ribs under her left breast. It was clear that the dagger had pierced her heart, yet here she was – alive. Anna stared in wonder. She ran a finger over the scar but jerked her hand away when Elsa winced and woke up again.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Anna apologized profusely and returned her attention to Elsa's face, which was contorted in pain. The older girl groaned and writhed weakly in Anna's grasp. Her uneven gasps for air sent pangs of worry through the younger girl, who held her sister close as the pain receded. Anna cradled Elsa's head in the crook of her elbow and resumed stroking the queen's hair. Soon Elsa's breathing evened out and she relaxed in Anna's arms again.
"Why did you do it, Elsa?" Anna whispered in something near dismay as she ran her fingertips over Elsa's scalp.
"To save… you," she whispered back with some difficulty. Anna was startled by her voice; she thought Elsa had dozed off.
"What?" Confusion reigned over the princess. Elsa cracked open one eye as her awareness slowly returned.
"My powers… were going to hurt… you…" Elsa gasped out. "Couldn't… let that happen. Not… again. All my fault… froze Arendelle… it was the… only way... and you're… still n-not safe… Anna… no!" She tried to squirm away in her panic as realization took hold of her once more.
"Shh, shh, it's okay. I'm fine," Anna tried to soothe Elsa. The injured woman was becoming increasingly weak and upset. "Don't talk right now. Just rest. You won't hurt me, I promise. Be still, Elsa, please? We'll be all right. My friend Kristoff is coming to get us down."
"W-who?"
"Kristoff. I met him on my way up here. He agreed to help me find you in exchange for some supplies. We… um… we owe him a new sled." Thankfully Elsa didn't question further, and instead surrendered to Anna's gentle touch and her own exhaustion and was still once more.
Anna sat, holding Elsa, and waited for Kristoff. She passed the time by gazing upon her sister's graceful features. It had been so long since she'd seen the girl – now a woman – and she wanted to memorize her face again. Did Elsa have those light freckles across her nose when they were young? Certainly her eyebrows hadn't always arched like that. Her hair was beautiful – windswept and wild, yet tastefully contained in that gorgeous braid. It was a bit stained with blood. Anna winced a little at the sight and curled protectively around the unconscious figure in her lap. Elsa murmured in her sleep and Anna held her closer. The frigid wind sang and snow danced around them, but Anna could see across the valley that, because of Elsa's terrible sacrifice, the green of summer had reclaimed Arendelle.
"I'm sure there was another way," Anna whispered to the limp form of her sister. "You shouldn't have done that." This time, the queen was truly asleep and did not respond.
Anna's attention was eventually drawn away from her sister by a sound carried on the howling wind. It was the crunching of boots on snow, and when she looked up she saw Kristoff making his way carefully down the incline toward them.
"Anna!" He called, his eyes widening as he took in the sight of the blood-spattered women. "What happened?"
"I… she…" Anna stuttered, gesturing helplessly at her sister. "She… saved Arendelle. By k-killing herself." Kristoff looked horrified and then alarmed as Elsa shifted and moaned.
"She's… alive?"
"Yes," Anna responded, calming Elsa with a gentle hand on her face.
"How?" Anna paused for a moment to contemplate an answer.
"I… don't know, actually," she replied. "But she is. Right now I don't care how. But we can't stay up here. She's still… we need help."
"I found a way down. Can… um… can she walk?" Anna stared at him incredulously for a moment. "Stupid question. Sorry. What do you want me to do?"
"Just lead us. I'll carry her."
"Are you sure? I could-"
"No! She's my sister. I'm going to carry her." Anna clutched Elsa's head close to her chest and glared at Kristoff who held his hands out in surrender.
"All right, whatever you say. It's this way," Kristoff gestured as Anna got to her feet and lifted Elsa up beside her. Elsa's head flopped weakly for a moment and she shuddered, but then she seemed to wake up a little more.
"Anna?" Her voice was low and rough, and more than a little confused.
"Hey," Anna replied, holding her sister upright. "It's all right, we're going to get off of the mountain. Do you think you could hold onto me? You won't hurt me, I promise." Elsa nodded dazedly, still barely conscious. Anna turned around and hoisted Elsa onto her back. Elsa slumped forward against Anna, and the younger girl pulled her sister's arms over her shoulders. Anna then got a firm grip on Elsa's legs and followed Kristoff up the slope.
As Anna and Kristoff finally set foot on flat ground, the last part of the treacherous climb behind them, they were accosted by a very relieved Sven and Olaf.
"Hey, hey boy. It's all right," Kristoff said, rubbing Sven's head as the reindeer nosed at him.
"Elsa?" Olaf asked softly, looking up at the sisters. He was missing several chunks of snow from his portly body.
"She'll be okay, Olaf," Anna reassured him as well as herself as she knelt and let her sister slide off of her back and into the snow. She was surprised to find Elsa's eyes open and looking around more lucidly.
"I can walk," Elsa murmured softly.
"Are you sure?" Anna asked, surprised.
"If you… if you help me, I can," the older girl clarified almost timidly.
"Then down the mountain we go," Anna said and helped Elsa to her feet. She groaned in pain and swayed a little, so Anna wrapped her arms around her sister to steady her. The older girl flinched at the contact and tried to get away, but Anna wouldn't let her go. Once Elsa stopped struggling and was firmly on her own feet, Anna wrapped an arm around her sister's torso and guided one of Elsa's reluctant arms around her shoulder. Sven came close to help but Elsa shrank away in fear. Anna gave him a pointed glare. Nobody touches my sister. Not even reindeer. More perceptive than his human companion, the reindeer merely shrugged and kept his distance.
They walked very slowly due to Elsa's condition. She collapsed frequently at first and had to be carried on occasion. She still shied away from Anna's touch, but the princess was nothing if not persistent. Elsa gradually regained some strength as they traveled. She was walking steadily with Anna's help by the time they reached the ravine where Kristoff lost his sled. The man glanced side to side and saw no easy way across. He was at a loss, but then he heard a surprised squeak followed by an odd sound behind him. A crackling filled the air, shimmering like the sound of a thousand tiny shards of ice knocking together. When he whirled around, he was shocked to find that Anna had been shoved to the ground and Elsa was kneeling in the snow. Magic streamed from her outstretched hands as a narrow bridge of ice materialized across the gap. It was not ornate by any means, but it appeared solid enough for them to use.
By the time Anna got up from where Elsa pushed her, the young sorceress was done constructing the bridge. Her magic fizzled out and she slumped to the ground, head spinning.
"Elsa!" The alarm in Anna's voice seemed to rouse the queen, but not more so than the hands that firmly gripped her shoulders and pulled her from the snow. Elsa jerked violently at the contact, but Anna knelt beside her and worriedly wrapped her arms around her sister.
"No! No, don't touch… not safe..." Elsa insisted weakly. Anna, predictably, paid no attention.
"It's okay, it's okay. You won't hurt me, Elsa! But that hurt you, didn't it. Please don't do that again," Anna admonished and carefully hoisted her half-conscious sibling onto her back. Olaf had already wandered onto the bridge and was jumping on it. It seemed sound, so Kristoff and Sven warily climbed up. It was a bit slippery, so Sven held still while Kristoff carefully pushed him across. Anna traversed the bridge slowly with Elsa slumped against her shoulders. Once they were safely across, Anna continued to carry Elsa until the injured woman had enough strength to walk with support again. Elsa was getting more comfortable with being close to Anna, but she still moved carefully as if afraid the girl might be hurt by even her now-weakened powers.
AN: Elsa's desperate solution to the freeze and to putting Anna in danger is one I think she would have come to easily. Good thing love can overcome even death. And unlike in the movie, Elsa is not suddenly unafraid and okay with being close to Anna. She still fears hurting her sister and it will take time for Elsa to heal in body and mind. If only they can get off of the mountain...