Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters are the properties of Masashi Kishimoto. No profit is made off of this fan-fiction story. Any additional original characters located in this story are designated at such and belong to the author, Jae (Dirtyangel).
Warnings: This fiction contains: Yaoi/Slash (homosexuality), Strong Coarse Language, Very Strong Sexual Content
A/N: So, it's a little ridiculous how deep "Forgive Me 'Cause I Love You" (FMCILY) has its claws in me after years of sporadic updates. I have story notes that look at me with so much judgement. *nervous laugh*
But this is a story people still like, and I'll continue to write and update as best as I can.
This is a one-shot that was written as a follow-up to Chapter 10 (11 ?) of FMCILY, and is a prequel. However, it can be read as a standalone(ish).
Special thanks as always to my beta Raz B for indulging me when the fic bug bites!
Enjoy!
—.&.&—
Marginal
—.—
8 Months
The sun fell steadily toward the horizon and Sasuke watched it, distracted. His thoughts lingered on the fact that a perfectly good training day had gone to waste, and how the blond teenager beside him was to blame.
Sasuke's gaze slid over to the chuunin in question. His companion was busy inspecting the bright red bruise along his jaw in the reflective surface of his kunai. They were seated on the outer rim of a practice ring at the farthest end of the training area. No one else was around, which further emphasized how much of a waste the time had been. Sasuke's nostrils flared as he huffed out an irritated breath. Once again, Naruto had managed to thoroughly aggravate him.
"What's the problem?" the dark-haired teen asked tersely, going through the motions of unwrapping the gauze from his wrists and knuckles. Each one was removed and callously flung into an awaiting duffel bag.
Naruto glanced up from his reflection to give his friend a weary look. There had been no missing the agitation in Sasuke's voice.
"What do you mean?" he replied.
This question made Sasuke stop mid-motion and frown. His patience was being tested—like always with Naruto. He forced himself to take a calming breath and looked back up at the sky. The clouds were shrouded in a vivid display of red and gold. It was an unexpectedly soothing sight, and Sasuke took it as offered aid to help his fraying tolerance.
Watching the burning brilliance of the sun pour itself onto the crest of what could be seen of Hokage Mountain managed to calm him down. There was a reason why he was putting himself through this frustration. He knew that there was something wrong with his nitwit friend, and the appropriate thing to do was to ask what. Sasuke could set his irritation aside for a while.
Satisfied with this reasoning, he turned back to Naruto with a neutral face.
"I mean you," he said in a placid voice. "Your head wasn't in it today, and you've been distracted since this morning."
That was where all this started.
Since that morning at the Hokage Tower, Naruto had seemed withdrawn. He hadn't noticed Sasuke watching him from afar while he'd shuffled through the office's main corridor. He had barely noticed much of anything before he was forced to hide his expression with a smile when another nin greeted him. At the time, Sasuke had thought this solemn behavior was strange for Naruto—he wasn't prone to that kind of brooding. But he'd left it alone, wanting to give Naruto some privacy. The blond didn't usually stay sullen for long.
However, as the day progressed and they met up for their weekly taijutsu session, Naruto's temperament hadn't improved. He was still distracted, leaving Sasuke to deal with a preoccupied sparring partner and a lack-luster set of rounds. He'd hoped the few petty punches he had taken at Naruto's face and ribs would have ignited fervor back into him, but they had failed to do anything. Now that their practice session was done, Sasuke felt obligated to find out what was going on.
The response he got for his concern was a strange look from Naruto.
"Teme, I don't know what you're talking about," Naruto said. "Other than those cheap shots you threw at me, there's nothing wrong."
"Please, they were love taps," Sasuke smirked, waving off the complaint and going back to unfurling gauze. "Perhaps whatever's really on your mind is making you soft, Uzumaki."
The other teen frowned at his persistence and clucked his tongue in annoyance. Naruto jabbed his kunai into the dirt in front of him.
"Look, Sasuke, drop it. I said nothing is wrong with me," he snapped.
Sasuke was taken aback by his outburst; a sudden attitude from Naruto wasn't what he'd expected. Anger flared up in him in response. What the hell was Naruto's problem?
"Fine, dobe, have it your way," he spat back, angry eyes glinting in the twilight. "Whatever it is that's got you acting like such an emotional asshole is probably none of my business anyway."
He climbed to his feet, duffel bag in hand.
"While you figure out a way to unbunch those panties of yours, try not to suck so much for next week's session."
Sasuke promptly turned on his heels and strode off, slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder. He had done his due diligence as a friend. Now Naruto could go fuck himself.
—.o.—
When he glanced up at the digital clock on the living room wall it said 10:30.
He turned back to the wakizashi that lay across the short square block in front of him and ran a whetstone along its blade. It had been three hours since he'd returned to his apartment from his training session with Naruto. Within the first hour of him being home, he'd showered and eaten a simple meal. Now he had settled in to the late night ritual of sharpening and polishing his weapons stock.
The sound of stone sliding across metal floated up into the room—smooth, crisp, and clear. It was fixating and beautiful, exactly what he needed to settle him.
This chore's distraction was welcomed. The routine always left him feeling grounded and filled with renewed purpose. As he layered on more water from a large bowl onto the blade, he contemplated the last two years. If he had kept the cursed seal and gone to Orochimaru, how would things have played out? Would Orochimaru have given him the power he'd promised? Would he have killed Itachi by now and finally avenged his family?
He thought back on his and Naruto's fight at the Valley, and about how intense the experience had been. If he hadn't listened to Naruto and allowed him to break through his resolve, things could have been so different.
Naruto. Everything always came back to Naruto. What was he going to do about that frustrating idiot?
He ran the whetstone over his blade again.
The clock showed 10:35 when he heard a knock on his apartment door. From where he knelt, Sasuke had a clear view of the entrance area of his open-floor apartment. He debated whether to check who it was but that was cut short as a familiar voice drifted in through the door.
It was Naruto.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. It seemed the very thought of Naruto was enough to summon him.
He tried to will the other ninja to go away, but there was another knock on the door and a whined request to be let in.
"Saasukee, I know you're in there. I can see the light from under the door. C'mon, teme, let me in. I know I was bein' a jerk before, and I want to apologize."
He pressed his lips together into a thin line as he glanced up at the overhead light. Sasuke considered turning it off before Naruto gave another pitiful plea for admittance.
Sighing in annoyance, he placed the whetstone on the floor beside his sharpening block and stood up. He was dressed in a loose shirt and sleeping shorts, but since it was Naruto, he didn't feel the need to change into anything else.
He made his way to the door and opened it without preamble.
Naruto's head snapped up from where he'd been leaning his forehead against the door—just managing to keep himself from toppling forward. He regarded Sasuke cautiously when he noticed the annoyed expression on his face. When his gaze slipped passed the other's shoulder to look further in the apartment, Naruto took stock of the unsheathed sword lying on a soapstone block and an array of knives and shuriken arranged on the coffee table.
He visibly gulped.
"Hey, um… I'm sorry…" Naruto said, squaring his shoulders and looking Sasuke directly in the eyes. He was still dressed in his grime-covered orange and black jumpsuit.
"You're obviously pissed at me for acting like an asshole and I don't blame you, but I'm hoping you could let me in."
Sasuke regarded him coolly without acknowledging what he'd said, and gave his appearance a critical once-over.
"Did you even attempt to go home and clean yourself up, dobe?" he asked disapprovingly.
Naruto looked down at his clothes, seeming to realize the filthy state he was in. He gave a sheepish smile and placed a hand behind his head; he chuckled nervously.
"Well, no, I hadn't thought about it. I kind of just waited around until I was sure you were home."
Sasuke made a face in disgust; then rolled his eyes and sighed. He moved aside to signal that the other teenager could enter.
"Before you set foot anywhere else in here, go clean yourself up in the shower, you moron."
.—.
By the time Naruto reemerged from the shower, Sasuke had cleared away his equipment and stored them with the rest of his gear. Now he stood silently by the couch, glaring at the blond ninja fidgeting in the bathroom doorway.
He'd loaned Naruto a shirt and a pair of sweatpants to change into since they roughly wore the same size clothes. It was by the grace of puberty that Naruto had grown with Sasuke to the same height and lean build. This made it easier for them to borrow each other's clothing. Though, Sasuke was certain Naruto took more advantage of it than he did.
A few more seconds of awkward silence passed before Sasuke decided to speak.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" he asked.
Naruto stopped his squirming and glanced over at him. He looked as though he wanted to say something but kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
Sasuke felt himself getting irritated again.
"Speak," he commanded.
Naruto gave him a frustrated look and did, "Fine. You're always so pushy."
Sasuke responded with a dubious look, but Naruto ignored it.
"You were right earlier," he said. "Something was bothering me. It's been bothering me for a while now, really."
Now that Naruto wasn't avoiding his gaze Sasuke could see the forlorn look in his eyes.
"We've known each other for a long time, right Sasuke?"
The question was an odd one, but Sasuke indulged it. "Yes," he said slowly.
"How do you feel about that?"
Sasuke blinked, suddenly lost.
"What?" he asked.
"How do you feel about it?" Naruto repeated—adamant.
"Confused," Sasuke answered, folding his arms. "Why are you asking that kind of question?"
Naruto made a frustrated sound before striding over to the couch and stopping an arm's length from Sasuke.
"Please, Sasuke, humor me," he pleaded. "Tell me how do you feel about it? Have things changed? Have I changed?"
It was still a peculiar question but Sasuke thought he was beginning to understand. Perhaps Naruto was worried about the creature locked away inside of him. Sasuke could vaguely remember him expressing concerns about it months ago. Sometimes he forgot Naruto was a jinchuuriki. It was such an integral part of who he was that it didn't seem to matter, but clearly, it did to Naruto.
"We all change, Naruto," Sasuke said, attempting to approach the topic delicately. He wasn't any good with the social intricacies of friendship. They always seemed like an infinite struggle to find the most common denominator of interests. Though, he liked to think that his and Naruto's relationship was different. It was a dynamic they'd built themselves. Sasuke didn't usually have to do a lot of guesswork—but this conversation was proving difficult.
"Why does this bother you so much?" he pressed.
Naruto's gaze fell between them, a pensive look on his face.
"We all change, huh?" he said softly. "Does that mean you've changed too, Sasuke?" He peered up at Sasuke expectantly.
Sasuke grimaced. How exactly did their conversation become so esoteric? This wasn't like Naruto; he didn't speak in vagaries.
"Sure, I guess. What is it about you that you think has changed?"
Silence hung in the air as Naruto contemplated this, and Sasuke quietly watched his internal debate. The intensive way Naruto's eyes shifted from side to side and how his hands clenched tightly into fists the longer he deliberated, intrigued him. He wondered what was going on inside his friend's head.
"The way I feel about you."
This sudden, hushed response slipped passed Naruto's lips with the softest breath.
Sasuke froze. His eyes widened in surprise.
"Wh—what?" he asked.
When Naruto looked back up at him, there was a startlingly tender smile on his face. The blond's expression filled Sasuke's stomach with an awkward sensation. Naruto's soft gaze made his heart jump uncomfortably in his chest and sent a searing rush of adrenaline cascading through his veins. That was his mother's smile. That also used to be Itachi's smile.
His chest clenched painfully.
In that bewildering moment Sasuke could only watch as Naruto boldly drew closer and cupped his face between warm hands. Then, without the slightest sign of hesitation, Naruto did the unthinkable—he kissed him.
A frightening wave of something crashed violently through Sasuke's system. Their lips had only touched briefly, but Sasuke shoved Naruto away from him as if he'd been burned. Whatever it was that had passed between them left him feeling incredibly exposed.
"What do you think you're doing!" he demanded. His heart pounded fiercely within his ribcage and his skin felt as if he were on fire.
Naruto looked shocked, and momentarily, afraid. He ran a hand through his hair nervously as he tried to find something to say. "I-I… it's just that…" When he took a step forward in supplication, Sasuke instinctively took a step back. A wounded look filled his eyes.
"I'm—sorry, Sasuke. I shouldn't have overstepped like that," Naruto quickly apologized, a pained expression overtaking his voice and body language. His hands rose to clutch his hair as he abruptly turned and made a straight line for the bathroom.
Realizing what was happening, Sasuke forced himself to regain his composure and followed after Naruto. He barred the blond's exit from the bathroom when he'd collected his clothes and attempted to leave.
"No," Sasuke said forcefully. "You don't get to leave until you explain what the hell that was about."
He needed an explanation because he didn't know how to handle this. Sasuke had turned down come-ons before, usually from bold girls their age and overly flirtatious women; but this was Naruto. And Naruto was his best friend.
The other teen's embarrassment transformed into a defensive anger at his demanding tone. Naruto slung his jumpsuit and gear over his shoulders so that he could cross his arms. "Don't act stupid, Sasuke. You know exactly what that was about," he said accusingly. "You asked me what was wrong, and I let you know."
Sasuke gripped the doorframe tightly; his emotions were running wild with the pounding of his heart and the anxiety he felt.
"Why?" he asked.
"What do you mean 'why'?" Naruto retorted.
"Why do you feel this way about me? Why now?"
The blond frowned at him. "What? I don't know, why not? Haven't you ever thought about how intense our friendship is? Everything we do is like… insane! I either want to beat the shit out of you for being an asshole or kiss you for just—getting me."
Naruto's cheeks filled with color at this admission. He looked away from Sasuke and began pacing the short distance within the small space of the bathroom.
"You know, I thought about asking Hinata out—just to distract me," Naruto began rambling, "I figured she might be into me, and I think she's hot. But every time I look at her, I start thinking about you. Maybe it's the dark hair, pale skin, and weird eyes thing. I don't know. But it wouldn't be right doing that to her. She deserves better than that."
He rubbed his face in frustration.
"God, this is so fucked up. All I've been able to think about lately is having sex with you."
"Naruto, stop," Sasuke said firmly. His anxiety had settled but it was quickly being replaced by embarrassment from the blond's nervous confession.
Naruto stopped pacing, realizing he'd said more than he'd wanted to. He actively looked everywhere else but Sasuke's direction.
"Look, just let me leave, alright? I really don't want to be here right now," he pleaded.
Sasuke didn't argue and stepped aside. Naruto walked out of the bathroom, making sure to dodge any physical contact between them; before he could get too far, Sasuke grabbed his arm.
"Listen, there's nothing wrong with what you said," he stated. It was important for Naruto to understand this. Whether he liked it or not, they were at a pivotal point in their friendship, and he didn't want the blond to think it didn't matter to him. It was clear that something inexplicable had happened after their fight at the Valley of the End. It was what had kept him from leaving, and it was also what made them finally admit that they were friends. But was it attraction? Sasuke wasn't sure. He'd never thought about it that way.
"I—just need to figure out how I feel … but this doesn't change how I treat you, dobe."
Naruto blinked, but finally, a goofy smile crept across his face.
"Alright, teme."
When he strapped on his shoes, he waved a casual good night to Sasuke, and then left the apartment. As the door clicked shut, Sasuke sank to the floor where he was still stationed by the bathroom. He rested his head against the wall behind him, bringing his fingers to his lips. They were still tingling from Naruto's kiss.
Why were things changing so quickly? He'd chosen a different path than the one he thought he'd needed, but he'd been sure he could still accomplish his goals. Now Naruto was mudding the waters with complicated feelings. This was beyond friendship. This was… intimacy.
How was that good for him? Would it take focus away from avenging his family?
Naruto.
What was he going to do with that frustrating idiot?
—.—
6 Months
Sasuke was pissed off.
It had been a month and a half since he'd last seen Naruto, and he knew it was because he was being avoided.
After the incident at his apartment, they hadn't brought the matter up again. Presumably, everything had returned to normal; they hung out on occasion and met up weekly to train. This went on for two weeks. Then the Hokage had offered Team 7 a reconnaissance mission. With Sakura assisting Shizune with medical research and Kakashi doing consulting work for ANBU, Sasuke and Naruto had taken on the assignment together. It had been relatively simple—basic information gathering with no direct infiltration. The mission lasted a total of five days with no issues, but afterward, Naruto stopped interacting with Sasuke altogether.
At first, Sasuke let it be. He was still mulling over a lot of what Naruto had said, and he needed time to decide what he was going to do. However, he began to notice Naruto's increasing absence from their training sessions and the whispers from other ninja in their peer group about seeing the blond more regularly than he did. Kiba boasted about sneaking beers with Naruto in the woods behind the training grounds, and Lee commented on having sparred with Naruto for a few days. But it wasn't until he overheard Ino and Tenten gossiping about how much time Naruto and Hinata were spending together that Sasuke decided to get angry.
He understood Naruto's need for space, but he would not tolerate being outrightly ignored.
Sasuke made his way up the stairs to the second level of apartments in Naruto's building complex. Purposefully, he strode down the outside hallway until he reached the right door. He pushed the buzzer.
A male voice shouted for him to hold on; then there was the muffled sound of footsteps. When they stopped in front of the door, there was a pause. Sasuke knew that he'd been identified through the peephole.
The door opened slowly.
"Sasuke…" Naruto welcomed him with a guilt-ridden expression.
Sasuke regarded him briefly before looking at the young woman standing a few feet behind Naruto. She was dressed in a simple long skirt and a plain long-sleeved shirt that gave her petite frame a boyish silhouette.
"Hinata," he said to her politely. "Do you mind stopping by another time? Naruto and I have something important we need to discuss."
Hinata looked stunned by the fact that he had addressed her instead of Naruto. Her opal eyes shifted between them, unsure of what to do. Naruto frowned, turning to look at her. When he turned back to Sasuke—an objection on his lips—he hesitated. The icy glare the other ninja shot him cowed him into cautious silence.
"U-um… sure. Of course," Hinata answered, sensing the tension coalescing in the air. Hurriedly, she stepped back into the kitchen, followed by the soft shuffle of plastic bags and the sound of a fridge door opening, and then closing. When she reappeared, her purse was hanging from her shoulder and she carried a bag of groceries.
"I-I put some of your groceries in the fridge, Naruto-kun," she said as she slipped on her shoes. Her stuttering had lessened considerably from when they were younger. "I hope those recipes I gave you are easy enough."
Naruto smiled at her apologetically, "Thanks, Hinata. Sorry about this. Maybe if I don't suck, I'll cook something for you guys next time we all hang out."
An obvious blush spread across her cheeks as he moved aside for her to exit. Sasuke nodded to her as she gave both of them a shy wave goodbye and headed down the walkway. He watched her descend the stairs and walk out of the complex's gates. Soon, she disappeared on to the main street.
He brought his attention back to Naruto.
"What the hell is y—" Naruto's reproach was cut off when Sasuke shoved him—hard. He stumbled backwards into his apartment, consequently giving the other teenager the room to step inside. Sasuke slammed the door shut behind him as he did so.
Steadying himself against the wall, Naruto gaped at him.
"What. The. Fuck, Sasuke?" he asked incredulously.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sasuke snapped.
"What? I was about to get cooking lessons, but you showed up and sent Hinata away like a dick," Naruto retorted angrily.
"No, you're being a fucking coward, Uzumaki. You're hiding from me, and it's obvious. What the hell is the matter with you?"
Naruto scowled at Sasuke's assertion and straightened himself up. "Fuck you! What's your problem? Are you jealous of me hanging out with other people now?"
Sasuke's eyes flashed with anger.
"Maybe I'm trying to figure out if you make a habit of 'confessing' to every fair-skinned brunette in Konoha that might let you have sex with them," he scoffed.
His words landed like a slap across Naruto's face, and the blond's reaction reflected this. In retrospect, Sasuke regretted saying them—they were uncalled for—but he was too angry to verbally admit this.
It only took a second for Naruto to close the distance between them and grab him up by his high-collared shirt. He slammed Sasuke into the front door, causing him to wince as the air was forced from his lungs.
"You don't get to hurt me like that," Naruto said in a low, dangerous voice. "You can act like every other asshole in this village, but you do not get to use that against me." He forced Sasuke back even further into the door's hard surface.
Returning Naruto's angry scowl, Sasuke brought his hands up to grip the blond's wrists and break the hold he had on his shirt. Naruto didn't reach for him again, but they continued to glower at one another. A minute went by before Sasuke's better judgment resurfaced, and his anger began to wane. He was at fault here. He should have never pushed Naruto the way he did, and he knew it.
Grudgingly, he accepted his part in their flared tempers and looked away first. Naruto watched this silent concession with a solemn frown. Then he took a step back, anger still simmering but under control.
Empty space slowly filled in the time between them.
"I'm sorry," Sasuke finally said. Naruto looked at him wearily, but accepted his apology with a nod.
More silence.
Sasuke spoke again: "I wasn't expecting you to just go completely AWOL, Naruto."
He received no immediate response, only another grim stare. Naruto sighed.
"You rejected me, Sasuke," he said. "It hurt, not to mention my ego got bruised." Naruto brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck thoughtfully; he placed the other on his hip. "I guess—I guess you're right, though. It was a jerk move to just avoid you like that. Usually I'd brush something like that off and maybe try again," he finished with a discontented laugh.
"Maybe that's what you should have done."
When Naruto's curious blue eyes looked up at him, Sasuke's body went still. The blond's bemused smile and inquisitive stare seemed to trap him with their openness. Naruto's face was unassuming, but it had Sasuke's stomach fluttering in strange ways. He could feel a prickling heat creeping across his face and down his neck. Beneath this peculiar reaction, a confusing mixture of indignance and uncertainty surged forth. What was the matter with him? This wasn't a response he was used to having when interacting with Naruto.
Its intensity was so acute Sasuke feared it had clamored its way up into his facial expression. He attempted to hide it behind a grimace, hoping Naruto hadn't noticed.
"I did not reject you, Naruto," Sasuke said slowly. The uncomfortable mix of emotions he had seemed to magnify the longer Naruto stared at him. It left him feeling frustratingly inept. "I… just needed some time to process everything. You overwhelmed me."
Wasn't that the effect Naruto often had on people, he thought. He was overwhelming and infectious. Without the right amount of self-preserving vigilance, Naruto's desires could soon become your desires, and then it would be too late.
Sasuke did his best to appear composed. Though, he was certain that his face was as red as a turnip.
"Are you blushing, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, amused. His confused smile was steadily growing into a full grin.
"Don't be an idiot, dobe," Sasuke said defensively.
Naruto grinned wider.
Through the jumbled mess of irritation and nervousness that was collecting in his gut, Sasuke evaluated the choice he was about to make. Naruto's confession had pulled him into unknown territory and introduced a new dimension of their friendship he hadn't considered. Like a seed planted in the back of his mind, it had germinated and grown into lingering thoughts of what if. What if he let Naruto kiss him again? What if this ruined their dynamic? What if this affected his plans?
His brow dipped under the weight of his indecision. He wasn't fond of doubt. It was antithetical to the way he did things, and his thoughts were becoming circular with the conflicting clash of reason and emotion.
"I want you to kiss me again," Sasuke said, letting his strongest impulse guide his words. Voicing them seemed to help steady his thoughts. He was sure now—this was what he wanted.
Naruto blinked wordlessly, smile wavering for a moment. A concerned look filtered into his eyes as he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He tried again to say something, and still, nothing. A part of Sasuke grew annoyed with this unfortunate habit.
"Are—are you sure?" There was a soft, cautious hint of hopefulness in Naruto's voice. Sasuke saw this hesitance and realized it was because of the incident from over a month ago. If they were to move forward, Naruto couldn't be the one to take initiative.
Shoring up his resolve, Sasuke stepped away from the door and thought on how he should start things. He had only a few limited references to draw on. The careless kisses shared with a handful of admirers and one fleeting sexual encounter hardly felt like enough. Perhaps a touch, he pondered. Naruto seemed like the type to enjoy being touched.
He placed a hand on the blond's hip, tracing the tip of his finger along the top edge of Naruto's waistband. Then he let another finger slip under the hem of Naruto shirt and grazed the lightest touch across his skin. Naruto gasped, his reluctance suddenly shepherded away by a surprised smile. His eyes focused completely on Sasuke, allowing the other teen to see how his pupils dilated with excitement. Sasuke smirked.
"Do you always get scared when someone tells you what they want?" he asked, a subtle challenge underlining his tone. This was the best way he knew how to incite Naruto into action; it was also the surest thing that could help give him confidence.
Naruto's eyes hooded over as he watched him. He reached up and grabbed Sasuke's wrist, pulling him closer until there was no room left between them.
"You've got no idea about what I can do, especially when someone tells me what they want," he said in a husky voice, face inches from Sasuke's. Naruto's warm breath washed over his lips, and Sasuke's tongue unconsciously darted out to lick them. The switch in Naruto's demeanor stirred a strange kind of excitement in him. There was an assertiveness that he'd never experienced from his friend. It was solid and arousing, and elicited a responding need to bait him further.
"Then show me, Uzumaki," Sasuke goaded.
When Naruto kissed him, it was nothing like the experimental brushing of lips that had occurred in Sasuke's apartment. The initial contact was firm and confident, and for the briefest moment, it was gone. Then it returned with a more persuasive touch. Naruto's tongue trailed languidly across his lower lip, slipping into his mouth, and enticing him to return the kiss. Before he knew it, Sasuke had closed his eyes and began to reciprocate.
A gratifying shudder coursed through him when Naruto leaned into him more. He could feel one of the blond's hands slide around his waist while the other wrapped around his shoulders. Fingers traced a path down from the skin behind his ear, along the line of his neck, and beneath the collar of his shirt to the muscle of his shoulder. The touch made Sasuke's own fingers twitch, reminding him of how uselessly his arms hung at his sides. He wanted to hold on to something that could anchor him because the way Naruto was sucking on his tongue and kneading his shoulder made him heady. He could feel the hand around his waist slowly shifting his shirt up and pressing hot fingertips into his side.
The feeling from back in his apartment was returning. It poured into him like warm honey, burning hot beneath the surface of his skin and centralizing down into his groin. It motivated Sasuke to reach up and grab onto Naruto's shirt—made him reach further and bury his hand in Naruto's hair. He caught Naruto's lower lip between his teeth and pulled.
Naruto's hold on him tightened as he growled into Sasuke's mouth. He forced him backwards until Sasuke was pinned against the front door again; the blond pressed his growing erection into him. An aggressive, overwhelming desire took over Sasuke's brain as he eagerly ground his hips forward. He could feel the rumble of Naruto's moans vibrating in his chest; and he could taste them slinking onto his tongue, mixing with his own. If they kept up this pace, it felt as if Sasuke's body would break under the building pressure inside him.
But then suddenly, Naruto wasn't kissing him anymore. His hands were on the door at either side of Sasuke's head, and a miniscule amount of space had been returned between them so only their foreheads touched. Panting slightly, Naruto stared at Sasuke, a triumphant smirk on his face.
"Was that what you wanted, Sasuke?" he whispered, smugly. All traces of his earlier hesitance had been wiped away.
The memory of Naruto's body grinding against him was still fresh on Sasuke's skin. He released his grip on Naruto's shirt and let his hand slide down the blond's back to the firm curvature of his bottom. Sasuke used this new leverage to pull Naruto back into him, moving his other hand to place a light, possessive hold around Naruto's neck. "Yes," he replied before kissing him hungrily one more time. It was Naruto's turn to grab onto his hair and moan.
.—.
Sasuke didn't remember how they managed to move from Naruto's tiny entrance area to the bedroom. The further they went, the more assertive Naruto became, and soon he found himself shoved backwards onto the bed. Naruto stood over him, hands hovering by the hem of his shirt. He watched Sasuke with an unreadable look.
"I'm not sure how far you want to go," he said.
Displaying much more surety, Sasuke pulled his own shirt off. He looked back at the blond, unfazed. "I'm not afraid of having sex, if that's what you're asking," he replied smoothly.
Naruto laughed at the challenge he was given and continued to remove his top. Tossing it aside, he reached over for the top drawer of his nightstand; out came two condom wrappers and a darkly colored bottle. He looked back at Sasuke, smirking: "That's good to know. Now, do you want to flip for who gets to be top?"
They never came to a verbal decision; rather, Sasuke simply deferred to Naruto's skill. He had no experience involving sex with men, but the way Naruto reached down and began stroking him through his pants didn't leave him time to dwell on it. The blond leaned down and kissed him, slowly guiding him backwards to lie onto the bed. But before he was completely on his back, Sasuke stopped their progress. He settled on his elbows, breaking away from their kiss, while his gaze drifted down between them to observe what was happening. The sight of Naruto's fingers working his pants open captivated him.
The button slipped free of its hole and his zipper was slowly lowered. Each centimeter Naruto lowered the slider was a steady march toward a point of no return. This thought suddenly filled Sasuke with a jittering mix of excitement and worry. The trajectory he'd set them on had only one true outcome. As a matter of pride, he wouldn't stop this, and Naruto seemed keen on going as far as they could. But something residual still wavered between them.
Despite Naruto's eagerness, his hand lingered on the pull of the zipper when it reached the end of its line. His lull in action was a silent question, gauging if Sasuke wanted him to stop.
Sasuke looked back up at Naruto and found the blond watching him. The usually mild indigo color of his eyes appeared darker in the room's light. In a strange way, they became the unexpected wardens of Sasuke's quickening desire. It aroused him, the way Naruto focused on him. He was the singular point of all of Naruto's attention, and it sent shivers through his body.
Smirking, Sasuke whispered, "You getting cold feet?"
Naruto's brow dipped slightly in thought. Their gazes remained locked for what seemed like minutes before Naruto smiled one of his lopsided smiles.
"Teme, you really like goading me, don't you?" Naruto asked, amused.
Not waiting for a reply, his hand left Sasuke's zipper and he ran its palm over the burgeoning mass of Sasuke's erection through his underwear. When Sasuke hissed in a deep breath and then released it into a shaky exhale, Naruto smiled even more.
"Yup, I think that's what's getting you off." He slipped his hand beneath the band of Sasuke's boxers and wrapped it around the other teen's cock. "Don't worry, Uchiha, I'm going to fuck you like you want me to."
Heat pooled its way up into Sasuke's cheeks at this declaration. His heart fluttered in his chest unexpectedly, and a fierce rush of desire went shooting down into his loins. He frowned, trying to determine what was happening to him.
Did he actually like Naruto talking dirty to him? The concept made him feel incredibly embarrassed.
Naruto's expression dissolved into worry as his eyes took in Sasuke's frowning face. He stopped his slow pumping of Sasuke's cock and loosened his grip. Leaning back, he asked: "Are you oka—?"
A hand shot up to pull him back down. "Don't talk too much shit, Naruto," Sasuke whispered, attempting to regain level ground in their game. The pads of his fingers pressed lightly into Naruto's arm as he shifted closer. "We both know how much you want me. Just how much do you want it? How bad do you want to shove your dick in me?"
Naruto's irises darkened even more as his eyes widened. The surprise that hovered in them delighted Sasuke. He let his grip on Naruto's bicep loosen and he slid his hand the rest of the way up the blond's right arm. It slipped down past Naruto's shoulder and along his chest. His thumb slowly brushed against Naruto's nipple. He repeated the motion, coaxing the small nub of flesh to rise and harden under his thumb.
"In fact," Sasuke allowed himself to grin, "Does it really matter who's on top? You'd be satisfied either way, as long as it's me, right?" He scraped his thumb's nail over Naruto's skin.
Naruto simply stared at him, lips parted and a light blush staining his cheeks. He looked away momentarily, but then refocused on Sasuke. His eyes narrowed as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. Wordlessly, he sat back and stood up.
Sasuke watched him move away, confused. He raised a curious brow at Naruto, wondering what was wrong. Surely his teasing hadn't turned his friend off that suddenly?
This thought process lurched to a halt, however, when Naruto pulled off the sweatpants he wore—along with his underwear—and kicked them aside. Fully naked, Naruto leered down at him. The blond held his gaze as he reached between his legs and began to stroke his own erection. Sasuke felt himself swallow uncomfortably; his eyes involuntarily fixated on the slow winding of Naruto's fist up and down his penis.
A soft chuckle broke Sasuke out of his trance.
"What's the matter, Sasuke? Like what you see?" Naruto asked, tilting his head to the side. "Maybe I should show you how much I want you. Maybe I should conjure up a bunshin of you right now and fuck it while over you? Then you'd get to see all the lewd positions I'd imagine you in."
He stopped his steady stroking to drag his closed fist up the length of his cock and quickly pull it back down to the base. He groaned and bit his bottom lip as he did it again.
Sasuke gaped at him. His breathing had stumbled into a teetering pattern of short breaths, and an overwhelmingly hot blush gripped his whole body. A small part of him felt intimidated by this highly erotic and confident side of Naruto. Never had he guessed that the blond could be so forthright with his desire, even with their usual blend of banter. Yet another part of him, one that was slowly blossoming underneath his hesitation, wanted to accept this challenge he'd been given. But Sasuke knew that his tenuous pride couldn't handle it. He wasn't quite there, not with how inexperienced he felt with this Naruto. He swallowed again and tried not to let his uncertainty show.
Naruto grinned at him. "That's what I thought," he said.
Then he stopped his salacious display to reach down and roughly pull Sasuke closer to the edge of the bed. The movement caused Sasuke to fall onto his back, summoning forth an expected curse of surprise. Grimacing, Sasuke craned his head down to glare, but fumbled when Naruto knelt and yanked the rest of his clothes down to his ankles. The blond tugged them off over Sasuke's feet, tossing them haphazardly over his shoulder. Sasuke clenched his knees together at the sudden exposure, but Naruto grabbed them and pushed them apart.
"Shy?" Naruto teased.
Blush growing exponentially, Sasuke frowned and kicked at Naruto's thigh. "Shut up, idiot."
Without warning, he felt the head of his cock become encased in a hot, moist sensation. Sasuke stuttered out another curse, scrambling to look down between his legs again. Naruto was slowly taking the rest of his length into his mouth, flicking his indigo-dark eyes up to lock onto Sasuke's gaze. A strained keening sound left Sasuke as he threw his head back and gripped the sheets. Desperately, he tried not to come too soon. Sasuke had never received a blowjob this intense before, and already his time with Naruto was overshadowing any of his past trysts.
He got lost in the feeling of Naruto's mouth—the way he sucked him off, the way he licked him. One hand had made its way into Naruto's hair, and the blond allowed him to control the pace. Sasuke would be lying if he said he didn't like the way Naruto let him thrust up into the wet heat of his mouth. Naruto even added some suction as Sasuke drew his hips back, and then thrusted up into the wetness again. Sasuke could come like this, fucking Naruto's mouth and watching the blond teen take it like it was nothing.
"Fuck…" he breathed out. Sasuke wanted to know just how Naruto had become so good at this. How many opportunities at sex has he already had? It wasn't like they spoke about the subject regularly, and Naruto was surprisingly quiet when it came to anyone he had seriously been with.
Sasuke's thoughts veered off track when he felt something slick gently probe the entrance of his anus. His grip in Naruto's hair tightened and his whole body tensed.
"Hey," Naruto whispered hoarsely, releasing Sasuke's cock from his mouth. "I'm just using my fingers. Nothing else until you're ready, alright?" The other teen used his free hand to gently massage the inside of Sasuke's thigh.
Wrinkling his nose at the feel of Naruto twisting that finger inside him, Sasuke squirmed away.
"It's… just a little weird," he offered.
"Well, since you don't have a wet pussy available for me to put it in, this is the next best option," Naruto replied with some amusement and a healthy amount of sarcasm.
Sasuke glared down at him, unimpressed by the blond's humor, and used his hold on Naruto's hair to shove him away.
"You've taken me out of the moment, dobe."
Naruto tried his best to smother his grin and reached up with both arms to wrap them around his friend's waist. "Don't be like that, Sasuke," he cajoled. "I'm an idiot, and I'm sorry."
Sasuke remained unamused and it showed in his expression; however, he didn't move to shove Naruto away again. Naruto took this as a cue to playfully lick the dip of where Sasuke's leg met his pelvis. The hot breath of his laughter tickled Sasuke's skin when Sasuke's leg twitched from the sensation. Sasuke looked back down to find Naruto brandishing that signature vulpine grin of his. He felt the urge to roll his eyes, but he could also feel his frown slipping away. Naruto was such an incorrigible moron sometimes.
Soon there was a weight settling over him. Naruto had climbed onto the bed to straddle Sasuke's hips. He leaned down on his forearms, hovering closely over the other teen's face. Their breaths intermingled as Sasuke focused on Naruto's mouth. He could feel the remnants of his arousal stirring again with their proximity. Naruto gazed at him for a few more seconds before whispering: "I like you, Sasuke."
Sasuke's stomach fluttered and heat flooded his cheeks. Then Naruto was leaning down to plant a single kiss on his lips.
"I just want to make you feel good."
Another kiss.
"Because I really, really like you."
A deeper, open mouth kiss.
"And you have no idea how hot you look right now."
Naruto ground his hardness into Sasuke's reemerging erection. The dark-haired teen groaned, eyes fluttering closed. He repeated the action again, and Sasuke's hands moved on their own—finding their way to the mound of Naruto's ass. They forced the blond's hips down further as he tried to match the rhythm.
"How about you? Don't you want to feel good?" Naruto asked.
Dear god, where was this side of Naruto coming from? And what was Sasuke getting himself into?
"Just imagine it: me inside you and you begging for more." Naruto was sucking on his jugular. "How about that, Sasuke? Was that what you were thinking about when you told me to kiss you again?"
Sasuke didn't know how much longer he could bear Naruto's pornographic monologue being whispered against his skin while the other attempted to pelvis fuck him into the sheets. He was getting so close. Naruto was finding just the right places to touch and kiss. At this point, Sasuke wanted to either shove his dick back into Naruto's enticing mouth, or flip them over so he could do the things the blond narrated.
He grabbed a fist full of blond hair and yanked Naruto's mouth away from the nipple he was now sucking on. "Fine, Naruto," Sasuke growled out, barely controlling himself. "Shut up and do it already, or I'm going to do it for you."
Excitement lit up Naruto's expression. What could only be described as a feral grin threatened to split his face in two.
"Whatever you want, Sasuke. But first, I'm going to need you to come."
The quick series of powerful strokes that Naruto gave Sasuke's cock had him groaning out a stream of half-strung curses. Sasuke's toes curled against the side of the bed, one hand gripping at the muscles of Naruto's thigh. As Naruto drizzled lube over the head of Sasuke's penis, the dark-haired teen's abdomen convulsed. He flung an arm over his eyes and arched up. Naruto's mouth was on his nipple again. It wasn't long before the mixture of cold, warmth, and friction sent him crashing over the edge into his orgasm. The force hit him with a dizzying flurry of pleasure, and Sasuke felt as if everything in his being was pouring out through his center.
He drifted down from this high to the feel of Naruto's warm fist gently stroking his softening penis; his whole body having gone limp. Then the finger was back again, freshly lathered with lube and probing into him. He groaned and shifted slightly, but did not move away. It moved inside him, slowly pushing further; then withdrawing. Two fingers came back this time. He moaned, removing his arm from his eyes. The fingers inside him were thrusting into him and scissoring him open. They were beginning to feel like something… nice.
Sasuke experimented by moving with them, licking his dried lips and unconsciously kneading Naruto's thigh. When he had a steady rhythm going, a third finger joined the others. He stilled and dug his fingertips deeper into the blond's skin. He stared wide-eyed at Naruto, choking out a groan.
"N-naruto?" Sasuke's skin was awash with heat; the tingling of each nerve raised goosebumps along its surface.
Naruto answered with a moan of his own, and shifted so he could gain more leverage to begin finger fucking Sasuke in earnest.
Sasuke cried out and couldn't stop the litany of whimpers that kept spilling from his lips. This was the strangest mix of pleasure and aching; and the more Naruto kept going, the more the feeling blurred into pleasure.
Naruto removed his fingers, giving Sasuke only a moment to catch his breath and scattered senses. Then Sasuke was suddenly turned onto his stomach and shoved further up the bed.
"I should really get an award for how much fucking restraint I'm practicing right now," Naruto growled out.
The crinkling of a condom wrapper preceded the pillow that was stuffed under Sasuke's hips to raise them. Absently, he spread his knees wider to gain some balance and prop himself on his elbows. He glanced over his shoulder to see Naruto squeeze lube onto his condom-wrapped erection; then line himself up at Sasuke's entrance.
Blue eyes looked up at him.
"Ready?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke nodded.
The initial sting of Naruto's cock slipping into him made Sasuke hiss. It was thicker than the fingers that had prepped him; but he drew in a deep breath through his mouth—forcing himself to stay relaxed. Naruto pulled back slightly, only to push further in. With the additional lube and Sasuke's angle, he was able to slide deeper with minimal resistance. Sasuke's legs were quivering by the time the blond's hips cradled the curvature of his buttocks.
"You okay?" Naruto softly asked. He ran a hand down Sasuke's spine in a comforting gesture.
Sasuke gulped down a few more breaths of air before nodding again. "Y-yes. Just m-move already."
That hand stopped at the base of Sasuke's spine. Naruto's hips pulled back, then thrusted into Sasuke. He whimpered, falling back into that place of pain and low-lying pleasure. Naruto needed to keep going.
Again and again, and soon he was vaguely aware of the moans tumbling out of him. In a more lucid state of mind, Sasuke might have been ashamed, but all he cared about at the moment was meeting each of Naruto's thrusts. He arched down beneath Naruto and spread his legs wider. The blond almost lost his stride as he was angled deeper.
"Sh-it," Naruto stuttered.
"H-harder. I want you to do me harder, Uzumaki," Sasuke commanded.
The hands on Sasuke's hips were trembling. "Holy shit, Sasuke. If … if you keep talking like that I won't hold out much longer."
Sasuke buried his face in the mattress cover as Naruto rebalanced himself to do what he was told. Their tempo picked up, mixing the sound of slapping, sweat-glazed skin and two sets of moans.
He was hard again. Sasuke reached down between the pillow and his stomach to jerk himself off in time to their pace.
Shit. Shit. Shi—
He bit his lower lip—he was almost there. If Naruto just kept …. Something in him nearly snapped when Naruto angled up and hit his prostate. The blond struck it again.
Sasuke cried out, coming into his fist and all over the pillow. His whole body tightened, causing Naruto to swear behind him. Two hands grabbed onto his hair and shoulder while Naruto began slamming long, deliberate strokes into him. Underneath the numbing intensity of heat encasing his body, Sasuke could hear Naruto moan his name.
Clarity returned a few seconds after, with Naruto's hot, panting breath washing over the skin of his back and both their ragged breathing saturating the room. Naruto carefully pulled away, flopping onto his back beside Sasuke. Dazedly, Sasuke watched him. The blond had a ridiculous smile on his flushed face as he stared up at the ceiling. It made Sasuke half-heartedly debate whether to punch that silly grin off his face, or smile smugly. He was the one who'd put it there, after all. This was a puzzling notion for Sasuke to consider, and it felt like the result of another feeling that was smoldering inside him.
He stubbornly chose to ignore it.
A minute later, Naruto crawled off the bed to go dispose of the condom. By the time he returned, Sasuke had rolled onto his back and kicked the soiled pillow off the bed. He was grimacing at the sticky mess on his stomach and hand when Naruto offered a damp towel for him to clean himself with. The blond sat beside him on the bed, watching him with an openly affectionate and thoroughly satisfied smile.
"You okay?" Naruto asked, resting his chin in his hand as he propped an arm on one knee.
Sasuke looked up at him. No longer swept up by the excitement of what they'd done, he could finally digest it.
He'd just had sex with Naruto.
Naruto, who'd confessed that he liked him. Naruto, who's unaffected smiles suddenly made him nervous about the things they did to him. Sasuke thought about the question: was he okay? He could admit that he did care about Naruto a lot, as his best friend. And he'd enjoyed the sex. Sasuke wouldn't mind continuing this new arrangement—whatever this was.
Lazily, he stretched and smiled back—brushing his sweaty bangs from his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."
—.—
5 Months
In the month that followed, Sasuke discovered a few things about their new dynamic.
The first was that not much had changed between Naruto and him. There remained the easy-going nature of their friendship, and neither one of them wanted to disturb it by asking for more than the other was willing to give. This joined various other reasons why they didn't make their arrangement public knowledge. In fact, Sasuke preferred it that way; he liked keeping his personal life private. However, Naruto was also prone to a guilty conscience. His friend had admitted that he was worried about how Sakura would take things.
Their other teammate had become more subtle in her admiration, but it was still obvious that she liked Sasuke. This detail didn't bother Sasuke as much as it did Naruto; though, he didn't mind avoiding that potential fallout.
Despite their status quo, there were minor nuances to Naruto's behavior that changed. He'd firmly shifted his relationship with Hinata into something more platonic. Which was another thing Sasuke knew he did out of guilt. And he'd also tapered off his casual attempts at asking Sakura out. The habit had become more of a playful routine than anything else, and Team 7 knew this. Still, Kakashi deemed it noteworthy when Naruto's usual pickup lines were missing from their gatherings. Naruto had laughed this off as their team leader being jealous that he wasn't sharing his flirting genius anymore. That comment had both Sasuke and Sakura rolling their eyes in exasperation.
The second thing Sasuke learned was that Naruto was very affectionate. When they were alone, the blond constantly sought physical contact. An arm around Sasuke's waist. A brush of fingers across the back of Sasuke's hand. Anything that could be had outside of sex, Naruto wanted.
When they'd swapped roles during sex for the first time, it was because Naruto had kissed Sasuke unexpectedly at one of their weekly training sessions. The suddenness of the kiss had almost caused Sasuke to drop the kunai he was parrying with. He'd stared at Naruto, not sure what to make of the out of place gesture.
Naruto had blushed and looked sheepish. Whenever the other teen was embarrassed he always attempted to hide it behind one of his false smiles—like he was doing then. It was in that moment that Sasuke realized that he liked this uncomfortable, timid side of his friend.
Naruto's boisterousness was mildly annoying on good days, and his hyper-sexuality could also be dizzying. Yet, when he was calm and not trying to call attention to himself, Sasuke appreciated his company the most. But an uncertain Naruto? It was—sweet.
Sasuke had taken him by the hand, to the line of trees behind the training grounds, and kissed him back without any reservations. Naruto had held onto him, vulnerable and seemingly asking for some kind of reassurance. Sasuke hadn't been sure what that had meant, but then things had dissolved into their usual tangle of limbs. At that time, Sasuke had maintained his dominance and Naruto let him.
Having Naruto cling to him, begging him to fuck him deeper, had taught Sasuke another thing: He really enjoyed having sex—especially with Naruto.
—.—
3 Months
Elongated shadows cast their reach across his apartment while Sasuke lay on his couch, staring at a single spot in his ceiling.
Earlier that day there'd been a briefing at the Hokage Tower outlining renewed activities from Akatsuki. The intelligence was offered as general knowledge for any field ninja ranking chuunin and above, but Sasuke understood the implied importance it held for Team 7. It also confirmed his suspicions about the recent appearance of Jiraiya around the village.
Included in the report was a list of sighted Akatsuki members. Unsurprisingly, Itachi's name came up. A few curious glances had fleeted to Sasuke's direction where he stood in the briefing room, but he'd pointedly ignored them. The briefing had continued with no further comment.
Afterward, Kakashi had pulled him aside to inform him about the older ninja's decision to step down as team leader temporarily. He'd added that he would be concentrating exclusively on training Sasuke. This news was interesting; however, Sasuke was wary. He and Kakashi already had private training sessions outside of Team 7. What was the need for more?
'Let's keep you focused, hmm?' Kakashi had said off-handedly.
Focused.
Sasuke let the word float around his thoughts as he continued staring at the ceiling. Was he not focused? Wasn't he following this path as disciplined as he could—as obediently as he could? Phantom tingling whispered over the skin of his shoulder where the cursed seal had been. He reached up and touched it, eyes narrowing. Maybe he wasn't focused enough, or else his family would have been avenged by now.
A knock at the front door distracted him from his thoughts. Sasuke sat up and turned to look at it. The person on the other side knocked again; then called his name. It was Naruto.
Sasuke sighed to himself before getting up to answer.
"Hey," Naruto greeted him when he opened the door.
"Hey," Sasuke returned blandly. He stepped away from the entrance and headed back into the apartment, leaving Naruto to let himself in.
"You weren't there when Kakashi introduced this guy named Yamato as his temporary replacement as team captain."
Naruto stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He slipped his shoes off before following after Sasuke. The dark-haired teen responded to his statement with a noncommittal sound.
"You also weren't there when this weirdo Sai was introduced. Kakashi said that he's supposed to be Team 7's 'floater'. What does that even mean?"
Sasuke replied with another wordless noise. He'd walked over to the kitchen area to get a glass of water from the tap.
"What's up with you?" Naruto had walked over to stand beside him. His face held a worried yet suspicious expression as he watched Sasuke. He didn't make any of his usual ventures to touch Sasuke, which meant that he was seriously considering the mood. Sasuke finished his glass of water before looking back at the blond. Naruto's deep blue eyes were observing him expectantly. If Sasuke stared long enough he could catch the flecks of light brown that sat under the fringes of Naruto's pupils.
Focus.
And there it was; something snapped into place in Sasuke's mind as he thought about the word again. How could he be focused when there was Naruto? Naruto had latched onto him in almost every aspect of his life and seemed to be slowly consuming him. Naruto was his rival, his friend, his… his... He was sure there was a word for what they've been for the last three months, but Sasuke didn't want to think on it.
"I'm fine," Sasuke said and placed his cup in the sink. He folded his arms, facing Naruto fully. Naruto looked unconvinced for a moment, but then shrugged.
"Okay... So why weren't you there for these two new assignments to the team? Don't tell me you're taking a sabbatical, too?"
Sasuke raised a brow at Naruto's use of such a singular word.
Naruto seemed to realize what he'd said and blushed in a strange mix of embarrassment and pride.
"Ah, blame Shikamaru. He thinks it's funny to have us learn a new dictionary word every time he beats one of us at stupid shogi."
Sasuke shrugged, accepting this. "Actually, yes," he continued. "I will be."
Naruto frowned, seeming to be working out a conclusion in his mind.
"Alright. Does that mean Kakashi's training you, then?"
"Yes."
The blond squinted his eyes and scrunched up his face. Whenever he did this his whisker-like birthmarks always made him look like a caricature of a fox. He lifted his arms to lace his fingers together behind his head.
"I guess everything makes sense now," Naruto said, leaning against the counter.
The hem of his tracksuit's jacket hitched up to reveal a glimpse of the mesh undershirt he wore. Sasuke's eyes couldn't help flicking down to it when it caught his attention, and he became angry with himself because of it. He abruptly moved away from Naruto and walked back to the living room.
"Don't expect to see us in the village for a while."
He laid back down on the couch to stare up at the spot he'd been analyzing before. Sasuke wondered if he ignored Naruto long enough the other teen may just go home. The fact that Naruto came over to the couch and straddled his stomach said otherwise.
Sasuke let out a soft whoosh sound when Naruto's weight settled on him. He glared at his friend.
"Teme, are you okay? You're acting all weird and evasive," Naruto asked.
Sasuke leaned up on his elbows and shoved at the blond, but the teen didn't budge. His frown deepened: "Naruto, get off."
"Answer the question, Sasuke."
"I won't. Now get off."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "What? Is today your turn to act like an asshole? I know we take turns but—"
"I said to fucking get off!" Sasuke snapped. Naruto immediately scrabbled off him with the sound of his yell. He stared at Sasuke, wide-eyed.
Nostrils flared in anger, Sasuke grimaced back up at the ceiling.
"You always want things your way," he seethed.
"Wh-what?" Confusion passed over Naruto's expression before indignance took over, "Are you fucking kidding me, Sasuke? I was just asking if you were alright. What the hell is your problem?"
"My problem is you! It's always you." Sasuke was sitting up now, glaring balefully at the blond. "You never just go away, or leave me alone. You're always there, everywhere, some-fucking-how distracting me."
Wisps of what looked like hurt appeared and disappeared in Naruto's eyes. He made a show of biting down on his bottom lip and clenching his fists tightly.
"Fuck you, you selfish dick! The only thing I've ever done is actually care about you and try to be a loyal friend."
Blood filled Sasuke's cheeks as raw emotion threatened to burst through every pore. This had been what he'd worried about months before—this acceptance of intimacy. This was the reason he hadn't gotten anywhere near his goals. He had an obligation to his family and he was sitting here in Konoha fucking around with Naruto. Itachi's words came creeping in from the darkest places of his psyche.
"This is about the Akatsuki report this morning, isn't it?" Naruto spat. "I should've fucking guessed. You always get like this whenever you hear about anything related to your brother."
Sasuke shot up to his feet.
"Shut the hell up, Naruto. At least I had a family to feel angry and sad about losing!"
Something dark possessed Naruto's aura as he took a single step toward Sasuke. It was enough of a trigger to have Sasuke shift his body into a ready stance. His movements snapped Naruto back to his senses. The blond looked at him fearfully for a moment before giving over to sadness and disgust.
"Then maybe you didn't deserve them if you're so obsessed with killing the last one you have," he said, voice hoarse with emotion. Without looking back at Sasuke he quickly headed for the front door and slammed it shut as he left the apartment.
—.o.—
It was a week later before Sasuke saw Naruto again. The encounter was brief and mostly involved a quick introduction of their new team members. Naruto was distant, but didn't show any other signs of being angry. Sai seemed intrigued by Naruto's mellow demeanor while Sakura jokingly asked if the blond had eaten bad ramen. Naruto dutifully feigned offense at her jab.
Then Sasuke was gone for a month and he let his intensive training with Kakashi stifle any guilt that crept into him.
—.—
1 Month
The reasoning behind Kakashi's insistence on training him for a month came in the form of a plain wooden box waiting on the windowsill of Sasuke's apartment.
It had taken no more than a minute to disarm the explosive tag that kept it shut. On the inside was a simple white porcelain mask with no facial features.
ANBU.
His invitation required him to wait a week before he could meet with them.
—.o.—
"Sasuke-kun!"
He looked up from the fruit cart he was perusing to the direction he'd heard his name. Sakura was jogging over with Ino in tow. Both were in civilian-wear, similar to Sasuke.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you out and about today?" Sakura said, smiling when they finally reached him.
Sasuke shrugged and looked back down at the cart. "I needed food for my apartment, so I'm out."
Sakura and Ino laughed at this. Sasuke motioned to the cart vendor the produce he wanted and the woman gathered them up into bags for him. Once his transaction was completed he turned back to the girls.
"Why are you two out?"
He was better now about being sociable with other ninja he knew than when he was younger. It may have resulted from Naruto dragging him around to different events that involved them; but the benefits of informal social skills didn't get lost to Sasuke.
"We're actually getting ready to meet up with some of the guys for lunch, and then a movie," Ino chimed in. She placed a hand on her hip and looked thoughtful. "You should join us one of these days."
"You should," Sakura agreed. "Naruto usually comes along whenever he's not doing whatever he does."
"Yeah, but that lout has been nowhere to be seen for the past month. The jerk. Have you seen him around, Sasuke-kun? Aren't you two besties?"
Sasuke tried not to grimace at the cutesy termed used to describe his and Naruto's friendship. Truth be told, he hadn't seen Naruto since his return. Sasuke had actually been dreading it.
It was easy to let their argument pass by unaddressed. Since he'd begun the ANBU recruitment process, Sasuke had had little time to think of much else. But through the exhaustion and sore muscles, guilt would still plagued him some nights.
"No, I haven't," he answered in an even voice.
Sakura noticed his shift in mood and elbowed her friend in the side. "Ino, stop being annoying," she chided. "I told you, Naruto had requested to go train with Jiraiya-san. It's no different from when we do work with Shizune-sensei."
"Whatever," Ino grumbled, rubbing her rib.
After that, Sasuke didn't allow their conversation to meander any longer. He told both girls he had more errands to do; then left.
—.—
Aftermath
Sasuke stared at the letter in his hand, willing it to vanish and summon that idiot Naruto instead.
My life here in Konoha has opened my eyes to the harsh reality that I don't belong here…
"This ... this is a joke, right?" Sakura's voice was weak and distant out in the hallway.
…I feel like my existence is a virus infecting this body known as the Leaf…
"I don't think Naruto is prone to a joke like this." Sai's voice was far off as well.
…I've grown up in the midst of all this contempt and it gets harder each day to tell myself I don't mind…
"But why? Why would he just leave like this?"
The soft sound of paper fluttering alerted Sasuke of his shaking hand. He gripped the letter tighter to stop it; it only helped slightly. His eyes scanned the empty bedroom. Everything he remembered being in here was gone.
…It makes me both sad and angry that I feel this way…
The sliding door that led out to the small balcony still had the tag that exploded into ridiculous orange and blue sparklers if you didn't disarm it correctly.
…By the time this note is found I'll be long gone…
He should have come sooner. He should have swallowed his stupid pride and come to Naruto sooner.
...I've thought this through and believe that it's for the best…
Sasuke could feel his breath quickening in his lungs and his blood pounding in his ears. His mind was slipping back in time, to when he'd come home from school to find a deathly silent house and blood pooling on the floors. He'd been left behind then just as he was now.
…I love you all dearly, know that, and I want you to live happily and contently…
Naruto's letter slipped from his fingers as he turned around and left the bedroom.
…especially Sasuke…
He brushed past both Sakura and Sai in the hall, unseeing. Sakura called out to him, but he ignored her.
…even a teme like him holds a place in my heart…
He flung the front door open and storm out down the outer hallway. Sasuke wanted to be as far away from this apartment as he could before he did something devastatingly stupid—like crying.
—.&.o.o.&.—
fin
—.&.o.o.&.—