I left her for you. All of the girls, for you, but I'll never forget my first. I was so excited that I'd had the shakes cutting her up - had to stop and collect myself. When I finally made those incisions, they were calculated and clean. I only wanted you to see my best work, you know. Only the best for you, little brother. By the time we met face to face, I wanted you to know that I was worthy of the weight of your secret.
I wish I could've seen your face. No blood. I knew it would get your attention. Like me, you appreciate the finer things in life - prime steak, a quiet drink, and neat, clean kills. I've seen the way you package your prey. I wanted you to know that I could do it, too. Imitation is the finest form of flattery. So, I cut her up.
I don't have 'Harry's Code'. I'm not driven by the compulsion to lead a double life. I didn't hide her away in a hefty. I laid her out for everybody to see. But it was your eyes I hoped could peel back all of the layers, the complexity of each stroke. Like brushwork. You're a good cop. A better killer. I knew you'd see something. It would call to you, like a song. I put the doll on your shelf, shining plastic and tied up like gifts. Our game of tag had begun. All you had to do was agree to play.
Besides being a monster of extraordinary perfection, you are an artist of motive, weaving intricate narratives to fit the contradictory code of your fake father. I can't blame you. Not really. You've been away from your family too long. Since you were three. I had never dreamed that you were like me - damaged. So to assume you were completely unscathed by the socialization of the others was an unfathomable miracle. I was not surprised to find you confused as you were. They tried to do it to me, too. You know. Doctors, therapists, group leaders... Teach me to do things the 'normal' way, be a 'normal' kid. But I tried it their way. And it's not our fault we're not like them. Maybe we're better than, even. Freer. I know you've felt it - the darkness. The surrender to it. How sweet it feels. They just don't understand.
But I do.
You've never tasted it like I have. I'll show you what you're missing.
The worst part of your suffering was that you didn't really know it. Not for what it was. You couldn't see past the walls they built around you. They made you play by their rules, in their world, on their terms, even though you weren't like them. The "otherness". And then they used your failure to turn you into something inhuman. Defined you. And you had no reason to believe they were wrong... until now.
You were a creature in pain when I found you. I watched. Watched to learn about you. And sure enough, you were...like me. It was a feeling of dizzy euphoria, stomach dropping, panic attack kind of joy. You were a young man, then. I was younger, too. But I started planning my best, all for you. I was driven by a purpose, a larger purpose, something greater. You. Us. Family. We'd never be alone again, either of us. Never apologizing. Complete unspoken understanding. Whatever they told you, you could never disgust me the way you could them. Scare me away. We are the same. Born in blood, both of us.
The world taught us we would have be alone for the rest of our lives, but that was just another one of their lies. Harry and the Doctors, one in the same. Liars. Afraid of our alliance. We could do anything. Conquer the world. No regrets, and no fucking remorse, no fake families, no fake lives! Just... peace. You and I. The way we were intended to be. Free.
They said that we didn't get to live like normal, happy, feeling, functional, limited human beings. And for all it's worth, little brother, we are human. Just a different breed. Fucked up, but human.
I'm working on something special for this weekend. I've got to get back to work. I can't wait to see your face. I'm loading the syringe now. Kill tool. I can't wait to see you, little brother. Even if you don't recognize me, I'll know it's you. I'll know.
You're gonna be so proud of me.