Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts in anyway
Teaser: it's like little boys in the summer, young and covered in blood
Author's Notes: omg! The angst! Run away little children!
/Boys Will Be/
(boys.)
"Hey Naminé," she says casually, shifting from foot to faery-foot, trying to pretend like she belongs here. In this pristine white room that doesn't really exist. "Drawing?"
"Yup," the blonde answers and shifts her pad, sliding it along the table so she can come closer and peer over at it, take a peek, just a tiny peek.
"Hmm, nice colors."
Red. Deep red.
And silver and gold.
"You're blending them well," she says lightly, airily and flicks red hair behind her head. "Riku and Sora?"
"And Roxas." Naminé points to a black fleck on the edge of the paper. "See? There he is. Can't forget him, can we? He bleeds like all the rest."
"Sure does," she agrees. "They're fighting, right?"
"Uh-huh," the blonde answered, rubbing a finger against the tiny little drawings, smiling a secret happy-girl, I'm-not-completely-nonexistent smile. "They're killing each other."
"Oh?" She leans closer, flicks a tongue over her lips. Red. Blood. I get it. "I see."
"You need to wake up now," Naminé cheerily and looks up. "'Kay, Kairi? Say hi to Sora for me."
Kairi leans over to her and Naminé picks up a pen. The white lights from the—this isn't real, you know, it's just my mind because Naminé is my Nobody and she isn't real and I must be dreaming and I need to wake up now—window glow like Kingdom Hearts on the sharp edge.
Naminé slides the pen into Kairi's forehead and they simply watch the blood roll down.
("Hey, Kairi!")
She's laying on the beach with the towel spread out beneath her back. She's sticky and glossy from the sun, baking her body brown and she smiles up at him.
"Sora," she greets and the Keyblade Master is all cool as he plops down beside her, wet from beach and brown from sun.
"Wanna go do something later?" he asks.
By "doing something" he means something that would make her mother frown. Because Sora's seventeen now and that's all seventeen year old boys think about.
Water splashes onto her stomach.
Kairi snaps up, keeping her shriek in her chest. She stares down at her stomach waiting for the water to turn red and to get sticky and to remind her of far-off horrible dreams and to ohmigodIcan'twhatishappening?
"What's wrong?" Sora asks, not really concerned, because he isn't concerned about anything anymore. Why should he be? He's saved the world.
"Nothing, thought I saw a bug," she tells him and she slides back beside him and curls against his side. Her insides quiver when he presses lightly against her arm and—oh God, oh God, oh God—she doesn't want to look because she's afraid there'll be a smear there.
"Where's Riku?" she asks but she doesn't really care and she doesn't really want to know.
"Girl's house."
Which one now? The same one from yesterday? Or another?
Is this wrong? They saved the world. So do they get to do this?
She looks up at Sora, sees him thinking about something. Something that isn't wholesome and the Sora he was when he left Destiny Islands all the years ago. She presses her head into his chest.
How much do we owe them?
("I've got a heart.")
"Ya hear me?" Axel wonders.
"Heart," Kairi agrees on a nod, pushing herself up a rock to get away from him. "Right."
"No really," Axel persists and climbs up behind her. He slips down the rock and curses before trying again. But he can't get to the pinnacle and she sits on top of it and stares down at him.
He glares up at her.
"That isn't fair," he tells her, nearly angry. Except his voice lacks most emotions. It's just kinda there. "I just want to talk to you."
"Hard to climb a cliff covered in blood, isn't it?" she teases, smiling now.
"Hey, your boyfriend did this to me!" Axel cries indignantly and yanks down the collar of his black trench.
A gaping hole stares up at her. Crimson like Naminé's markers slide down the pale skin and darken the already dark coat and it seeps onto his gloved hands and Axel will never be able to climb anything because he's all sticky and wet.
Something akin to panic tightens in Kairi's breast. "Sora didn't do that."
"Oh? Roxas did, I guess—but isn't Roxas really Sora? And it was the Dusks that killed me… but it's still Sora's fault, isn't it?" Axel demands haughtily and he towers over her even though Kairi's feet above. "No one else wielded that Keyblade, Kairi."
"Keyblades don't…" Kairi looks away, breathes in, and looks back. "No one bleeds from a Keyblade."
"Sure they do," Axel says with a crooked smile and he lifts a hand. Blood drips down from his fingertips. "Sora makes people bleed all the time."
"No."
(tap. tap. tap.)
Kairi crawls out of bed and to her noisy window. She lifts the frame and sticks her head out.
"C'mon, Kairi!"
"Don't wake my parents up," she warns and swings a leg over the window's ledge. She starts to shimmy down the drainpipe, wondering if what's down there is going to kill her. Eat her up, chop her apart, rip out her heart…
…it's just Sora…
"Jump! I'll catch you!" Sora entreats her.
The Keyblade swings down in an arch, ready to slice and dice and no realizes that it's bad. That even if they don't have a heart they can still bleed and die and not be there anymore…
"It's just Sora."
She lets herself go and she waits for the crash of the ground. Hard sand against a soft back. Strong arms cradle her and Sora puts her on her feet and Kairi doesn't bother looking to see if there's a smear of blood there. Because there won't be.
This is just Sora.
He takes her back to Destiny Islands and they hang out on the beach. And Kairi knows what's going to come. Sora's a gentleman about it and sometimes it feels alright, and it felt great a little while ago, but that was before things. Things like Naminé and her drawings. Axel and his gaping chest-hole.
But, at least, it's not Riku who just takes and takes, trying to find some substance that will sustain him like the darkness had.
Kairi almost wishes he'd take drugs and not girls. Not girls with hearts that break when he doesn't call back because they can't ever be what he wants.
Sometimes she's jealous of those girls because she's exactly what Sora wants.
His hands are in her hair and she feels the sticky wet of blood in her locks and knows no one will notice because Sora's hands are dry and her hair is already crimson.
And she slides her hands up across his chest, feeling the darkness of his body pressing against hers and her light flowing out and going into him. She wants so badly to fill his need, to be what he needs to live.
Sora gave everything for them. For the worlds. For her. There has to be something she can give back. We owe them. So we give them. Please, make the darkness go away. Sora doesn't need it that much, does he?
There's nothing she can give to him that will suffice for that brief taste of oblivion.
("I'm Demyx.")
"Did Sora ever tell you about me?" I'm-Demyx wants to know.
Kairi sits on a tiny island—no more than a protruding rock only a few feet bigger than herself—in the water as Demyx floats across from her. She shakes her head.
Demyx looks hurt and she wants to cry and laugh at the same time. Nobodies can't feel anything—that's what Sora tells himself whenever he cares enough to think about it—and the dead certainly can't.
And Demyx has to be dead. His neck is wide open and cut from side to side, slashed across. It dyes the water, crystal and bright now crimson and dark. Only Demyx's smiling face is saved from the red.
"Sora didn't do that," she tells him, daring him to contradict her.
"I don't think hanging out with him is such a good idea, Kairi," Demyx tells her almost absently, in an almost brotherly affection, backstroking his way closer. "I can see the blood on you."
"I don't care."
"Lying is a bad thing," Demyx chastises like he has never done a bad thing in his life. Killed someone for their heart, tried to kill someone for their heart, tried to hurt Sora just like Sora hurt him.
Demyx attacked first. Sora didn't want to kill him. He had to.
Kairi curls into a ball and looks away. Go away. Ignore him and he'll go away. He isn't real. He's dead just like Axel and all the rest and they need to get out of my head.
"Besides, Kairi, who knows what diseases you'll get from—"
She clamps her hand over her ears and doesn't listen.
("They're troublemakers.")
"Don't say that," Kairi's mother says instantly, her face paling. "Those boys… they've been through so much. So much and we need to help—"
"Help them?" Kairi's father thunders angrily. "Didn't you hear about that poor girl? Pregnant and Riku wants nothing to do with her. That boy goes through girls like they're… they're toys!"
"They're so lost! So alone!" the mother shouts right back. "You know what they've done. They fought wars. They had to kill things. All that darkness! And what they still do. They're off to help that King every month, doing only God knows what for him!"
"All I know is that they're starting fights, hurting people, stealing things. Sora cut Tidus right up last week, didn't he? Put him in the hospital, I heard."
"Tidus said something about Kairi," she hisses back at him. "That's all."
"Don't even mention Kairi!" he snarls at her, slamming a fist down at the table. "We should lock her up until that damn boy promises never to come near her. She's not eating, she's sneaking off with him, and God knows what she does with him when they're alone!"
"We owe them!" she cries suddenly, wiping angrily at her tears. "They've done so much for us and we owe them for all that they've—"
"So you're saying my daughter's virginity is a thank you gift?"
"Just stop it!" Helpless with rage and grief, Kairi's mother lowers her head to the table and sobs. "My baby girl!"
"I wish they'd just go on a damn mission for that King of theirs," the father said angrily. "And never come back."
Above them, Sora rocks in Kairi and she muffles her scream against his shoulder.
("Feel better?")
"Yeah," Sora says and weakly smiles up at Riku. "Lots. Thanks."
"Doesn't it hurt?" Kairi wants to know.
Absently, Sora touches the hilt of the Way to Dawn, buried deep in his chest. His hand comes away bloody, but since his gloves were covered in it to begin with it's no big deal. He just shrugs.
"Nah. Not really." He smiles suddenly. "Weird, huh?"
Kairi nods. "Really weird."
"Hey, it's your turn," Riku protests, frowning at Sora like he's a puppy who accidentally relieved himself on the living room floor.
Sheepishly Sora grins. "Sorry. Forgot." His Keyblade is in his hand with a flash. The original one. The first Keyblade Sora ever picked up—and damn that Keyblade to hell. Silver and plain with a tiny King Mickey head swinging from its hilt.
Without any hesitation Sora slides the top of his Keyblade along Riku's neck. Riku stares at Sora for a moment and then blood blooms along the little, black line that was left in the blade's wake. Blood burst onto the column of his throat as Riku raises his hand to catch the mess that drips out from the cut.
"Haha. That hurt," Riku says, his voice a little strained from forcing itself up from his sliced throat. "Seriously, man."
They grin at each other.
"Sora, you don't want to hurt Riku, do you?" Kairi demands, backing away. Her stomach's all shaky and she wants to run as fast as her legs will carry her. No, no, no. Sora wouldn't do this, would he? He wouldn't.
"Don't be silly, Kairi," Riku reprimands her.
"Yeah, Kairi," Sora agrees and smiles lovingly at her.
Kairi opens her mouth to scream but no sounds come out. All she can do is stare and stare and stare and wish it would go away.
"Good job," King Mickey says as he approaches, heaving his golden Keyblade to his shoulder. The blood drips down from it in ribbons, staining his clothes. "I'm so proud of you boys."
"Thanks," they intone.
"See, Kairi?" Axel asks and he rubs his hand over his chest, pushing his cloak into the gaping whole. "See what we mean? They're covered in it."
"You bet," Demyx agrees as he joins Axel's side, his cloak sticking to his body like he's wet. And he is, it just isn't water he's wet with. "Can't you see all the blood, Kairi? They killed us. Killed."
"No!"
And they're all there. All those people and creatures and monsters she knows Riku and Sora have killed. Saix with his limbs torn apart, Luxord missing half a face, Xigbar with his jugular ripped to shreds. Xemnas with an actual Keyblade protruding from his chest. All the ones that came before them. Ansem—not the good one, the evil one, the heartless—and Ursula and Jaffar and Larxene and Marluxia.
"Why?" Kairi demands hoarsely, trying to back away. But she hits Scar and jumps back. "Why me? Why me?"
"Because, you help him see us," Xemnas tells her, the Keyblade in his chest bouncing with each word. "Every time he tries to wipe his blood off on you, he can see us."
"Hey! What about me?" Roxas demands, hobbling over to them. Naminé is at his side, supporting him, as he struggles against the swords in his back and chest. The Oblivion and the Oathkeeper, buried so deep they nearly come out the opposite ends.
The red drips down Roxas's arms but never touches Naminé's dress. Because Naminé is Kairi and Kairi has never taken a life.
"This isn't fair!" she screams and whirls on them, pointing a finger at them all. At their bloody faces and their judging eyes. "You attacked them first! You tried to hurt them. You tried to kill them and the worlds. You didn't give them a choice!"
"Now, Kairi," Saix says like she's a student who got an answer wrong on her Math test. He picks up one of his arms and bops Riku lightly on the head with the bloody end of his severed limb. "Of course, we did."
"Yeah, Kairi, we always have a choice," Riku tells her like she's crazy.
"Duh," Sora agrees and yanks the Way to Dawn out of his chest. Blood splashes at her feet and onto his legs and arms and, somehow, his face and he just keeps smiling at her. He hands the Keyblade back to Riku.
"Stop it! Just stop it!" She draws in a breath and hacks out blood. Her breath hisses out like it's impossible to breath and she can't stop looking at Sora.
Sora, who all the others seem to surround. They flock to him, moths to flame, and he raises a Keyblade to defend himself and washes himself in a crimson tide. And he looks almost confused but doesn't stop. He slices everyone into dull stripes of flesh, even Riku.
"See, Kairi?" the head of Demyx asks as it slides to a stop before Kairi's feet. "Sora is so full of blood. Do you really want to be around someone like that?"
Someone is screaming and it's Kairi, finally having found her voice, but she is ignored. Everyone reforms themselves into their bodies and Sora prepares to kill them all over again. More blood. Because he can't stop. Because this is what he does. He's the Keyblade Master and he has to save the world and he has to kill people because that is what heroes do. Kill the bad guys, even if they are human and breathing and just want to exist. They're still evil.
Then she throws herself at him, blood and all.
("I can't do this anymore.")
"I can't, I can't," Sora sobs against her chest, rubbing his cheeks against her breasts.
Kairi hushes him softly, motherly, and strokes his hair. Above her are the dark rocks of the Secret Place and behind her is Destiny Islands' door, humming with magick and she ignores it.
"I hate it, I hate it," he tells her brokenly, gripping her waist so tightly she can barely breathe. But she doesn't tell him that. She lets him hold on because he is a leaf in a storm and she is a rock.
"Then don't. You don't have to," she tells him. Selfishly she wants him to agree. But she knows he can't. Can't ever.
Sora is the hero.
"I wish," he says and curls himself over her, rubbing his hands over his face. "I can't do it alone, Kairi. Please don't leave me."
And she won't. Even if she wants to. She owes Sora too much.
She loves him too much.
"Sora," she sighs and presses herself into him, ignoring the feeling of blood on her cheeks and her hair. "I'm not leaving."
To prove it—to himself, to herself—she takes his hand and kisses it. She tastes copper and metal and knows why Riku buries himself in a different girl every night. Why he wastes away with alcohol and anything else he can manage.
Because they have to drown out this feeling. Something to wash away the mess on their skin. The darkness could have done it, but they can't have the darkness. So they have to compensate.
They've always known what they're covered in.
Sora clings to her like she's the only anchor he has and she holds onto him tight. She feels the sticky slide of blood from where he touches but she won't ever let go of him because he needs her and she won't let him down. Not after all he's done for her. For everything she holds dear.
They come together in some vain attempt to find peace. Sora with himself, Kairi with her feelings. It isn't exactly love—perhaps they're still too young for it—but it's something akin to it and it's almost enough.
Except they both can feel the sticky slide of blood on Sora's skin.
Her tears leak out of her eyes and Kairi spills all the salt she can onto Sora's trembling body, hoping, praying, against all facts.
Whatever tears she sheds, it won't ever be enough to cleanse Sora of all that blood.
And tomorrow Sora will go when King Mickey calls. He and Riku will go off and fight their holy war and Kairi will wait until they come back, to see what damage has been done to their already battered souls. What new blood has been added to their wide collection.
Can they really be murderers if they didn't have a choice?
And Axel, with his damn hole of a chest, says, "Of course they can."
Demyx agrees, rubbing his awkwardly sagging neck. Saix too because he still has his head so he can at least nod. And Xemnas, tapping the Keyblade hilt pointing out from his chest.
Wisely, Ansem—Xenahort—says, "Killing is killing."
The way Sora's eyes widen, the blue nearly dilating into complete black, Kairi knows he can see them too. And he can hear them and he has never felt stickier with blood than he does now.
"Oh God," Sora moans, horrified. "What have I done?"
Glaring at them, feeling righteous, protective rage filling her, Kairi shifts upward so she can straddle Sora's waist. She stares into his glazed eyes and knows this is all she can do for him so she is going to do it.
She blocks his view.
(boys will be boys.)
notes: seriously, folks, I have no idea where it came from. I wanted to do something Kairi/Sora related, but I didn't want it to be lovey-dovey or angsty because Kairi cuts herself or something. Plus, I was testing out a new style. Oh, and I was aiming for something vaguely creepy.