Disclaimer: I don't own Jacen Solo or all the bad stuff that is happening to him, that all is the work of those wonderful authors.
A/N: So, first of, major spoilers for both Traitor, New Jedi Order, Dark Nest and the Legacy series. I've only read Betrayal, but at the store I quickly grabbed Bloodlines and read the last part. I think it was a sneak peak into the next book, and this is what inspired my little snippet. So yes, you have been warned!
Who is Jacen Solo?
She babbles endlessly behind me. In the shadows of rumble wall brought into creation by Ganner, she is prancing with delight. Of course, only I feel this dark pleasure, to the rest of the world she merely is a standing statue. Lumiya was a Sith Mistress; she had a reputation to uphold. As do I. Yet, through the Force and if read correctly, I sensed the dark woman's thoughts.
Sick happiness at turning one of Skywalkers to the Dark Side warms her heart. Anticipation of the horrors I will let loose sizzles in her veins.
Blind pride sparkles her eyes with the notion that she is controlling me.
No one controls me.
The Yuuzhan Vong thought such a foolish notion and look at the result. The World Brain pulsed beneath my feet.
"Sorry, continue," I thought. My only true ally's annoyance seeped out but resumed to let me know of what was happening on Coruscant. Once again, my mind began to wonder.
I remembered the last time was I here. I was a child on the cusp of becoming a teenager: young enough to rush into battle to join Ganner in death but old enough to make my own choices. Such innocence and stupidity. I find myself starting smirk at the memory.
Lumiya senses my change and her disappoint echoes in the room. "Focus, Jacen. We do not have much time."
A sudden urge to strangle her thin neck flashes in my mind, but my façade as the brainwashed apprentice bows my head in obedience. Not wanting to catch her attention again, I fall into the void in the center of my chest, yet I keep enough of my presence in the Force to satisfy her probing.
I pour my frustration at the World Brain. He knows of my predicament and whole-heartedly wants to join me in my quest. Such a naïve friend I have created. But unlike the others, he knows my true colors and is wary of them. When the time comes, he will be the only not surprised again and will not be difficult to persuade once more. An endless cycle that I will have to complete in due time, but one that must be made.
Once again, my dark master sends her urgency. I frown mentally, the hole where the slave seed was pulses in anger. She is becoming a nuisance that I cannot wait to rid myself of. She thinks she is teaching me the ways of the Sith, that she is turning me completely, that in the end I will become her right hand.
Am I surrounded by such stupidity?
Vergere why did you leave me? You are my true master. You are the one that made me see the light. From you, I learned the art of manipulation, the beautiful spectrum of pain and the coldness that was the Force. I was free to be myself in your company. I miss the playful banter we had, the deep debates that always ended with you scolding me by calling me "Little Solo." All that I am is because of you and it is your footsteps that I walk, not Lumiya's.
I smile wickedly for her, telling her that I am almost done. She nods curtly, but I see between the lines. She thinks she controls me. You never thought that Vergere, you never once gambled with the thought. It was because of it that we played such wonderful mind games with Nom Amor and the rest of the Vong, along with my family. Yet, when you died, I had to go into hiding. I hide to revert to my old self till the war ended.
I hated it.
I hate how everyone accepts me on a superficial level, but I can see through their lies. They want the old Jacen Solo back. But the dead cannot come back alive. I made sure of that during my little five-year retreat. This time I cannot hide my soft smile as I stare down into the liquid that is the World Brain's home. Even without you Vergere, I still played with treachery, manipulation and deception. I am a master at it now. No one not even Luke Skywalker, Jaina—I have the Killiks to thank for that—or Lumiya know my true self.
Only the few remaining slaves that still burrow deep in Coruscant's underbelly know Jacen Solo.
Traitor.
I am Jacen Solo, I am neither Jedi nor Sith. I merely am a traitor. And my heart leaps with pure happiness at such a thought. The darkness stirs within me. I'm hungry; keeping up so many facades can be draining, especially if you have to act like a five year old throwing a tantrum. I would have done it differently, but that is what Lumiya and all the Jedi are expecting: a Jacen Solo that is losing his sanity, driven by the drowning rage of the Dark Side.
What they don't know is that I have transcended such petty actions. A couple meters away, I became the god the Yuuzhan Vong desired, the dream Vergere foresaw. The mere memory arises in me the stillness that I crave for.
"We are not alone, be on guard." Lumiya is now standing next to me.
I want to stare into her beady eyes and make her bow to me. I have sensed the girl ages ago, only now has the Mistress of the Sith sensed her. Lumiya is a weakling, a creature that deserved death years ago. But I need her to gain knowledge of a past almost lost. I want to learn the ways of the Sith and then my search might be complete.
Ben, Allana and Tenal Ka flash in my mind. Clever, woman, very clever. Trying to remind me of why I'm doing what I'm doing. You want me to become blind in my purpose to bring order to this galaxy. I know what will happen to those two and already my heart has turn to ice. It has always been so since the Nursery.
"I am done." My voice once again sounds hollow. Brown eyes glance over to an abandoned hallway. I see with clarity Nom Amor's body hanging on the wall, Vergere smiling up at him.
"Think of it as your blessed release."
"What?" hisses Lumiya.
I shake my head, "I am done here, master." I slipped once more. This place brings back too many memories…memories that I ache to once more feel again. Life was simple back then, cut and clear. A wave of pleasure overrides me as I close my eyes. I remember the sweet pull of the Embrace of Pain, the blood pounding adrenaline during the fight in the Nursery and the awe-inspiring beauty of Yuuzhan'tar.
Lumiya screams as something flies at the World Brain. I pull myself out of the shared memory from the World Brain, but I do nothing to stop the poison arrow. Things must be sacrificed; things must die for something great to reborn from. Take me for example.
The World Brain screams in pain, and I pretend that in my anger I rush to kill the intruder. Lumiya urges me to stay and help the Brain. This woman is too slow. Already, I am telling my friend through our bond that all will be all right.
He bubbles in glee despite the poison slowly moving through his veins.
I cannot help but smirk, my cold eyes studying the shadowed figure in the tunnel.
It is time for the galaxy to become the Nursery…
My playground.
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A/N: Well, hopefully I captured him, or at least what I hope he is. He's an actor, whose to say what's truly going on in his twisted, scarred mind. And that is why I love him so much, he's such a rich character. Ok, I'm done!