(Warning: Those of you who adored Chris Claremont's Fantastic Four, and/or think Marvel Girl is one of the greatest characters might be slightly offended by this.)

Valaria
By
Carolyne Smythe
(Parody of "Victoria" by The Kinks)

There was once a writer
Who got into his head
Doom should be the leader
Of the Fantastic Four
He sired a daughter
Valaria was her name
Valaria, Valaria, Valaria, 'laria

She was born, lucky her
A Von Doom, and Richards
But she's known as Marvel Girl
She adores the FF
They are annoyed by her
She does not even care
Valaria, Valaria, Valaria, 'laria
Valaria, Valaria, Valaria, 'laria

Girl of Doom and Sue Richards
Girl that is Valaria
Girl of Doom and Sue Richards
Girl that is Valaria
Valaria, 'laria
Valaria, Valaria, Valaria, 'laria

Reed Richards to Doctor Doom
Johnny Storm to Susan
The Puppy to The Thing
Let's not forget that Franklin
From the good to the bad
Valaria loves them all
Valaria, Valaria, Valaria, 'laria
Valaria, Valaria, Valaria, 'laria