Monica stepped out the door, zipping up her coat and pulling her hood up.
"Wait," she said to the small dog on a lead.
She put in her earphones and pressed for her iPod to play.
"Walk on," she told the dog and started to walk.
She wasn't really listening to the music till the dog pulled her back a little, then she realised she was listening to a song she had ignored and avoided for a long time. You won't be mine, matchbox twenty. The lyrics sung out loud in her ears and reminded her of when she last listened to it,
You'll be strong, you'll be rich in love and you will carry on but no you won't be mine, mouthed Monica along to it. She had practically sung this to Dana on the day they split up; it was awful. It all came back to her.
Monica woke in her bed, alone and missing Dana, needing her, but last night had been William's night. It always was, the night before he went to Mulder's for a few days. It was set from the moment Mulder came back and Monica respected that. She loved William and knew she came second to him and their needs as a family; she was just an extra part. Baby William – not such a baby now – was two years old and wow he was clever and advanced, but it was to be expected with his powers, which he had under control himself.
She got up, showered and looked at the time. It was ten. Mulder should have picked William up by now, so she would go over and whisk Dana off for a late breakfast.
En route she pulled into the petrol station and bought Dana some roses. Dana always said she hated gifts but accepted them with an amazing, beautiful smile.
Monica pulled up and walked up. She would have run if she thought she wouldn't look odd. She got to the door and knocked.
Then came a voice, but not Dana's. "Mommy? Mommy? Someone's at the door." Then she saw the door move. "It's Monica," said the little voice
It was William. Clearly Mulder hadn't picked him up yet. If he hadn't already said it was her and knew it she would have left. She was invading on William time.
"Hey, baby boy," she said and the door opened.
William threw himself at her
"One second," she said to William.
"These are for you," said Monica handing over the flowers.
"Thank you," smiled Dana.
Then Monica knelt down to hug William.
"How are you?" asked William.
"I'm good. How are you?"
"Bored waiting for daddy."
Monica stood and faced Dana, who was stood in her tight jeans and the new jumper Monica had bought her, also tight, showing off her amazing figure, which made Monica smile.
"I thought he would be with daddy by now," said Monica.
"Daddy overslept," stated William.
"Oh no," said Monica.
"He'll be here soon though," said William and walked off to his room.
Monica turned her attention to Dana. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine. He was asking to see you anyway," Dana said and pulled Monica into her arms.
"Shall I go as he's due soon?" asked Monica, not wanting to leave but unsure how Mulder would feel seeing her.
"No, its fine."
"Monica! Monica," came William's voice, and she pulled back from Dana.
"Yes?" she said and knelt down.
"Can we look at this till daddy gets here?" he asked, holding a book.
"Are you all packed to go daddy's?"
"Yes."
"Sure?"
"He is all set," said Dana.
"OK then, let's go read," said Monica, walking with William to the sofa.
She sat down and he sat on her lap.
"Which book?" asked Monica.
"This one," he said, handing it over.
"Dogs, again?" She had looked at this with him so much.
"Yes, please."
"OK." She gave in and started to look at it with him.
"I'll sort the flowers," said Dana.
He had started to learn about the dogs and practically read it to himself.
"Daddy's here," he suddenly said, and a knock came. They both turned as Dana opened the door,
"Hi," came Mulder's voice, striking fear into Monica. She realised how bad William sat on her lap would look to Mulder but she couldn't move.
"Hi, how are you?" said Dana. It was funny she didn't ask him in yet.
"I'm good. Sorry I'm late but I was kept up," he said, sounding like he was digging at Dana but being funny with it.
"You will be sorry but I was up too and I still got up," laughed Dana and Monica froze. There was a smile across Dana's face she hadn't seen in ages; it was reserved for their special moments together, after an amazing evening or a romantic gesture or their intimate moments.
Had something happened between them? Was something crawling back? Did Dana want Mulder again? And what did they mean kept up?
"Sad," said Willam, suddenly.
"What's that?" asked Monica, hoping for more.
"Sad," he said again.
"Who is?" she asked.
"Come in," said Dana, and Monica saw Mulder clearly.
"Hey, little man!" called Mulder. "Oh, hi Monica."
"Daddy!" cried William. He jumped off her lap and run to Mulder. Mulder picked him up and hugged him.
"Hi, Mulder," Monica managed.
The smile on Dana's face didn't fade. It made Monica feel sick. She stood and walked towards the kitchen.
"Bye, Monica," called William.
"Bye, William," she said and got into the kitchen.
Monica was stunned. Was she really doubting Dana's loyalty to her? Would Dana really do it? Had Mulder been over during the night? But then why was Monica surprised? He was her baby's daddy, the only baby she would ever have. She leant on the counter and tried to push it all away but that smile towards Mulder was imprinted on his mind. Suddenly arms came around her middle.
"He's gone." It was Dana.
Monica pulled out of the grip and moved away from Dana, the smile slowly fading. She couldn't spend the day with Dana, she needed to sort this out in her head. She was sure Dana wouldn't cheat but how had they kept each other up?
"You OK?" asked Dana, going towards her.
"No. No, I'm not," said Monica, planning how to leave.
"What's wrong?" said Dana, looking worried. She stepped forward and went to hug Monica.
"Don't, please," said Monica stepping back.
"Why? What's wrong?" said Dana, now looking upset.
"I need to go," said Monica, turning to leave.
"No, no you don't," said Dana, grabbing her arm. "Talk to me."
"I can't," said Monica, which was true.
"You've only just got here. Why did you come if you didn't plan to spend time with me?"
"I planned to but things change."
"How? What's happened to change it?"
"That smile," stated Monica bitterly.
"What smile?" Dana looked confused.
"The smile only I should get. Now let me go. I'll sort this out in my head then well talk but I need to go."
Dana shook her head. "When will we talk?"
"Later today. I'll call. I promise."
She meant it and Dana must have known as she let go of her arm.
"I'll hold you to that promise," said Dana as she walked out of the kitchen.
Monica followed her to the lounge and Dana sat as she got to the door. "See you later," said Monica as she turned the door knob.
"I'd better," said Dana.
Monica got to the car and just sat. The smile haunted her and then visions of Dana with Mulder, sexually. She felt she would vomit, Dana was hers. She had spent time wooing her until Dana gave in. They were happy and so was William, so what was changing? Why did it feel wrong?
She turned on the ignition and drove off. Home was her best place to think.
She opened the door and sat on the sofa, head in her hands. Her head hurt and she was so confused. So many questions flooded her mind. Was she right to be with Dana? Should she keep Dana and Mulder apart? What was best for William? All the answers gave the same outcome: that she shouldn't be with Dana; she should let her be with Mulder; it was best that way for William. Monica hated the idea. It was what was right but she couldn't handle the idea of being without Dana. Clearly, by the smile, Dana still had feelings for Mulder and whatever had happened the night before had sparked it all off again. She needed to do it for William, for the greater good, but she couldn't do it right away.
She stood up and strolled across to the CD stand that doubled up as a drinks cabinet. She found a bottle of scotch and a glass then she turned on the CD player. She took the bottle back to the sofa, poured out a glass and threw it down her neck, then again and again. "Fuck, I do love you Dana," she said to herself.
She sat for a while just knocking back drinks. The music was background noise until a song came on: You won't be mine. She liked this song but it sung the words too loudly to her. It was her story and she had to say it all to Dana.
"You'll be strong, you'll be rich in love and you will carry on but no, oh no you wont be mine," sung Monica, the tears starting to fall. She knew what she had to do.
She pulled out her cell from her pocket.
"Hello," came Dana's voice.
"Can I come back over?" asked Monica, her voice struggling with the tears.
"Of course. You OK?"
"Umm, I'll see you soon," and she hung up.
Monica couldn't drive so she walked out and hailed a cab. On the way all she could hear were the lyrics rolling around her head. She didn't want to leave Dana but it was for the best, She got with Dana before Mulder returned so they'd had no chance to be together or even sort out any pent up frustrations. It was all for William. God, how Monica loved that boy.
The cab pulled up outside and she paid then slowly walked up to the door. She knocked and waited for an answer, filling with dread. The door opened and a unhappy looking Dana stood where earlier a happy one had been.
"Hi," said Monica.
"That was quick," stated Dana, stepping back.
"Yes, it was," said Monica, stepping in.
Dana shut the door. "Shall we sit?" she asked.
"No. I'll say it then go."
"Go? Go where? Why?" asked Dana.
"Right. Dana, we're over," said Monica, trying to stay calm in the knowledge that this was right.
"What? No! Why?" said Dana, already looking upset.
"I came to you at the wrong time and we can't carry on."
"Wrong time? Whenever is there a right time?"
"I came to you before Mulder returned and I clearly saw something between you two, and that something needs to be sorted out."
"It's nothing… It's…" started Dana.
"I don't want to hear what it is or what you think it is. I'm doing this for William, for the greater good. It's not normal to have mom and her girlfriend and seeing daddy separately."
"Didn't you consider that before you got with me?" Dana was now angry, with tears escaping.
"Yes I did. I thought Mulder was out of your system but clearly he's not. So I'm leaving you so you can work it out. You must know I don't want to do this but I can't help what I saw."
"And what did you see?" asked Dana, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"The smile only William and your partner should get. I haven't seen it in a while now but Mulder got it today."
"So, because I smiled at Mulder you think I want him back and you're leaving me?"
"Not just any smile. As I said, only William and I should get it." Monica's voice was wavering, tears beginning to fall.
"But what if there is nothing between me and Mulder to sort out? What if it's dead and the smile was innocent?"
"I don't know but we will see, in time." The tears were falling more and more. "I won't shut you or William out. It's not fair on him. I'll still see him if you allow me to, on your terms." Monica took a breath. "I'll get my stuff" – and she walked to the bedroom.
She opened her drawer and emptied the stuff into her rucksack on the floor. Se hated doing this but she had to. Suddenly she knew she wasn't alone in the room
"Mon' please… please don't do this," said Dana, clearly still crying.
With the drawer empty she closed it and stood. She turned and was faced with a awful sight. She hated it; Dana's face was red and puffy with tear lines and tears falling. She was torn with what to do for the best, hug her or just leave.
She opened her arms and Dana went into them, wrapping her arms around Monica's middle. It was silent between them for a small while.
"Monica?"
"Yes?"
Monica looked down and was met by Dana just looking at her. She was overwhelmed with feeling and moved down to kiss her. Their lips met and it was passionate. It was what Monica wanted. She felt herself being moved backwards then she fell onto the bed. Dana mounted her and the kissing continued, with touching and it was what Monica wanted, though she didn't like Dana on top. She rolled and placed her on her back. Monica loomed down at Dana and it came back to her. She was leaving Dana, not getting close to her.
"No, Dana this isn't how it works." She got up, quickly grabbing her bag and left.
She got outside and hailed a cab home, she felt awful especially for what they had just done. She knew pulling away like that would hurt Dana but she was hurt anyway, and if they had carried on it would only have got worse.
Two days passed and Monica felt awful. She missed Dana and William. She missed the feeling of home she got with them, but she had to stay away till she was called, called to see William.
The call came later that day.
"Hello."
"Hi, Mon', it's Dana." Monica knew who it was. She didn't need to say.
"Hi, Dana."
"William… umm… wants to see you. He misses you."
"OK, when can I come round?" She didn't want to see Dana it would be difficult.
"Tomorrow, around twelve? I won't be here but mom will."
Monica wasn't sure if this was to avoid her or to make it easier.
"OK, sounds good."
"OK, I may see you at some point."
"OK, thanks Dana. Bye."
"Bye."
And Monica hung up.
She was glad to be seeing William but a little worried about what reception she would get from Mrs Scully.
She got up early the next day, showered but didn't eat. She felt sick. She left where she lived – it wasn't home – to go see William. That excited her but seeing Mrs Scully, and the possibility of seeing Dana, made her feel bad.
She knocked at the door.
"It's Monica," came William's voice and the door opened
"Hi, baby boy," said Monica, and bent down to hug him.
"Up," he smiled, "please."
Monica lifted him up.
"I missed you," he said and kissed her cheek making her feel bad.
"I missed you too," said Monica, catching Mrs Scully's gaze.
"Hi, Mrs Scully," she said.
"Uh, Monica, please. I've not been Mrs Scully to you in forever. Mom, please."
"OK, mom. How are you?"
"I'm good. How are you?"
"Been better," replied Monica, being honest, "but better for hugs with little man," she said and tickled his side.
He giggled. "Stop! Stop! No fair!"
She stopped and smiled. "I did miss you so much," she said and kissed his cheek.
"Can we go out?" asked William.
Monica looked at Mrs Scully. "Dana said you can do as you wish with him."
"OK," said Monica, and put him down, "go get your coat then." He ran off.
"This is so difficult," said Monica quietly.
"He does miss you," said Mrs Scully.
"I know he does, and I miss him. Dana too."
"Why don't you talk to her and sort it out?" said Mrs Scully; then she paused. "Sorry, I'm interfering."
"No, you're not. I love Dana but she needs to sort stuff out in her head and with Mulder. Till then I feel I'm in the way."
"Glad to hear you still love her."
"Monica, Monica, I did it myself!" shouted William as he ran across the room.
"You did your own coat? Well done!"
"Are you proud?" he asked, looking serious.
"Always proud of you. Shall we go?"
"Yes, please," he smiled and took her hand.
"I'll have him back by three for his sleep."
"OK, I'll still be here. Bye, William."
"Bye, granny," he said and they walked out.
Once outside the building Monica looked down at William, who was smiling away holding her hand.
"So, William how does ice cream in the park sound? We can play in the play area then see the ducks."
"Sounds perfect," he said and they set off.
On the way they talked about dogs and what they saw. Upon sitting down with ice cream that chat became a bit more serious.
"Monica?"
"Yes, William?"
"Do you love me?"
Monica dreaded this moment. "Yes, of course I do."
"Then why don't I see you as much?"
"William, it's difficult, but I just can't be with mommy as much."
"Do you love mommy?"
"Yes, I do."
"But you don't tell her?"
It was true. William noticed too much. "That is true but I'm not around her much any more."
"But you used to be and you didn't."
Again, so true. "Well, mommy doesn't tell me so I feel it would be wrong, and make her feel she has to say it back as maybe she doesn't mean it."
"She does tell you and mean it," said William, and licked his ice cream.
"I don't remember ever hearing it," she wasn't going to argue with a child but wanted to know what he'd heard or seen.
"Mommy says it when your asleep and when you leave."
"So never when I heard?"
"No, I think mommy's too scared."
"Probably, William." This got her thinking. "So, what's next?"
"Play park."
"Good idea, and let me guess… on the swings?"
"Oh yes," he smiled.
"Come on then," she smiled back and they walked over.
On the swing William was giggling and very happy which made Monica happy too. But her mind was racing with what William had said about Dana loving her. She didn't quite believe it but why would William lie?
She looked up from William and saw the last face she wanted to see, Mulder.
She waved. "William, I see someone looking at you."
He looked up. "Daddy," he called and Mulder walked over.
"Hey, little man, how are you?" asked Mulder, kissing his head
"I'm good daddy, happy with Monica."
"So I see," and he looked up smiling at Monica.
"How are you?" he asked.
She froze. What did he know? What had Dana said? "Umm, I'm OK, Better for seeing William," and she roughed his hair.
"Can I go climb? Daddy and you can watch," asked William.
"OK," said Monica and she lifted him out. She and Mulder followed him to the climbing frame.
"Monica, I know you split with Dana, but I'm glad you still see William. He loves you a lot."
"I know he does," she said, watching William climbing the ladder.
"But it's weird. I feel I jinxed you both," said Mulder.
Monica turned to him. "How?"
"The night before I saw you at Dana's we had a long chat on the phone about…"
"Daddy, look!" came William's voice.
Mulder looked up: "Very good, be careful!" He looked back at Monica. "Yes, we had a chat about my feelings for her, hers for me, where we are and a lot about her feelings for you. Then next day you split up."
"Down the slide, catch me!" called William and Mulder moved to the bottom of the slide to catch him.
"Up again," said William.
"Go on then," said Monica, stunned by Mulder's words. "Did Dana put you up to this?"
"God, no. She would kill me if she knew I told you any of this, but she does care a lot for you."
"But the way she looks at you…" Monica was growing upset but hid it.
"Not looks. Looked. She looked at me like that, just that once, due to our heart to heart. I never get that smile. I only saw it a handful of times before. It's yours – and William's – smile."
"Really?" Monica suddenly felt bad and needed to see Dana.
"Yes, really. I love Dana but she does not love me."
Monica could have kissed Mulder. He had cleared it all up.
"Monica! Monica, catch me!" called William and she moved to catch him. She did and swung him around.
"Right, I'm off to my meeting. I'll see you soon. I hope Monica and, little man, I'll see you in two days."
Monica handed William over and they hugged.
"I love you, daddy."
"I love you, William; now back to Monica. Bye baby," and Mulder handed him back.
"Bye, Monica."
"Bye, Mulder." She hugged William. "Thanks."
He nodded and left.
"Ducks now, baby boy?" she asked.
"No, hug first," he said and she did. "Happy now. Let's go."
They had a good time looking at the ducks,
"Time to go, almost nap time," she said.
"OK," and they walked quietly home.
"Knock knock, granny," said William, knocking on the door.
The door opened. "Mommy!" cried William.
"One second, baby. Yes, mom, one second." Dana was on the phone. "It's mom for you," she said, handing it over.
Monica took it. "Hi, mom."
"Hi, Monica. Now as I was saying, tomorrow I'm having William and after work I want you and Dana to meet us for a meal at the Italian we all like. Say you'll come?"
Dana beckoned her in and sat on the sofa while Monica stood.
Did Monica have a choice to the invite? Probably not "OK, what time?"
"I've booked it for seven. That OK?"
"Yes, OK. See you tomorrow, mom. Bye."
"Bye."
Monica hung up and put the phone in its holster. She felt odd doing this. She needed to escape and soon.
"You tired him out?" came Dana's voice. "I'll just put him in his cot. Won't be a second."
Monica nodded and stood watching Dana leave with William in her arms.
She looked around and it was the same as the day she left, though it had only been a few days.
Dana reappeared. "William said he saw Mulder at the park."
"We did. He… uh… was on his way to a meeting."
"Uh, I see."
Silence settled between them, and they just looked at each other.
"I'd better go. I'll see you tomorrow at seven though."
"Yes, OK."
They walked to the door. "Dana…" Monica started, "can we talk tomorrow after the meal, or when William's at Mulder's?"
"Yes… That'd be good."
"OK. Bye, Dana."
"Bye, Monica."
And Monica left.
Monica got home and lay thinking about Dana, her talk with Mulder, and what she could say to Dana when they did talk.
The next day came and Monica was glad for a quiet day at work
"So Monica, what you up to tonight? Fancy an evening with a film and beer?" asked John.
"No, I'm out for dinner with Dana…"
John jumped in. "Oh, yeah. Fab."
"No, with William and mom."
"Oh, OK."
"What? We're going to talk after, or tomorrow."
"You looking to get her back?"
"Don't ask them questions, John."
"Oww, touchy! Have a nice evening but beers and film soon?"
"Yes, promise. Right, it's five and I'm off. See you tomorrow."
"Bye, Mon."
She got home, and was thinking she did want Dana back, but was scared of rejection. She'd hurt her a lot, could Dana forgive her?
She showered and sorted out what to wear. She didn't know what to put on. She wanted to impress Dana but didn't want to be too full on as it may not end as she wanted it to.
She settled for black trousers, boots, purple top and leather jacket. Dana liked her in the purple top.
Soon it was time to leave. One last spray of perfume and a hair check and she was off out the door.
Soon, at the restaurant, Monica felt sick. She was desperate to see Dana but was worried how it would go. She walked in and a young waiter with a big smile approached.
"Good evening, can I help?" he said.
"Hello, there's a table reserved in the name of Scully."
He looked at a book. "Uh yes. You're first here."
"Can I sit at the bar while I wait?"
"Of course," he said and walked away.
Monica sat on the bar stool and ordered a Coke. She couldn't manage wine just yet.
Time seemed to stop while she waited then she felt a hand.
"Evening," came Dana's voice.
Monica turned. "Evening." She looked Dana up then down. "You look great, Dana."
"Thank you. Shall we go sit down?"
Monica stood and nodded. Seeing Dana all done up with her amazing perfume on it made Monica want to grab her, but she resisted.
The smiley waiter returned.
"Table for four, name of Scully," said Dana.
"No. Scully – table for two," said the waiter.
"No. Mom hasn't…?" said Dana
"Oh, I'm sure she has. Come on let's make the most of it," said Monica, kind of glad of the time and atmosphere to be alone with Dana.
"This way please," said the waiter and they followed him.
They were sat on the far end table. It was very quiet and private. Dana sat then Monica followed suit.
"Wine?" asked Dana, after the waiter left.
"Not tonight. I'll stick to my Coke."
"I'll just have a glass then," said Dana as she returned to the menu.
Monica loved the restaurant. It then struck her: it clearly was a set up. It was where she and Dana had their first date. She chuckled to herself.
"You OK? What's funny?" asked Dana
"We should have realised this was a set up."
"How?" Dana asked clearly intrigued.
"Where did we go on our first date?" asked Monica, smiling.
"Here."
Monica nodded.
"Yes, and you got drunk on wine," Dana laughed, remembering, "then you stumbled back to mine and… uhh… was so funny!" she paused. "Mom was sitting William. She was rolling around laughing at you then. You told mom you… Yeah," Dana coughed and stopped.
"I remember stumbling back and sleeping on the sofa till William woke up. What did I tell mom?" asked Monica, a little worried by the way Dana acted.
"It doesn't matter any more," she replied, growing sad.
Monica reached out and took Dana's hand. It was an involuntary movement. "Dana, what? Tell me. I don't remember."
"That you wanted me so much and one day would marry me," Dana's voice wavered at the end.
Monica was stunned, why hadn't she heard this tale before? She went to speak when the waiter returned. "Your orders, please," he said as Dana pulled her hand from Monica's, making her feel hollow again.
"Chicken and mushroom pasta, please," said Dana.
"Same, please," said Monica, suddenly needing Dana close.
"Thank you, and drinks?"
"Two Cokes, please," said Dana and the waiter left.
Monica was stunned by what she had said ages ago and how much she needed Dana close.
"So, Dana, how was your day?" asked Monica trying to find a safe in-between to talk about.
"It was fine. Same old day for me. What about yours?"
"John was excited that we were going for dinner, asked me over for a film evening."
"You used to do that a lot," stated Dana as the waiter returned with their Cokes.
"Yes, but then I didn't as much as I was too…" she stopped thinking of words to use to not upset Dana, "too busy playing family."
"Yes… William said he had fun yesterday with you," Dana sounded sad.
"He did. I did too. I miss him and…"
"Your food," the waiter interrupted and placed the plates down. "Anything else?" he asked.
Monica sighed, "not for me".
"Nor me, thank you."
He nodded and left.
"I give up. Can we talk later?" said Monica.
"Of course."
They tucked into their food in silence.
Monica finished first and sat admiring the beautiful woman across from her. She needed Dana, and wanted her back. She just prayed Dana would take her back.
"Can I get you anything else?" asked the waiter.
"No, I'm fine, hu… Dana," Monica caught herself.
"No, I'm fine. Just the bill."
"It's already settled," he stated and left.
"Already sorted? Monica?" said Dana.
"Not me. Mom, maybe?"
"Probably. Shall we go?" asked Dana, smiling.
"Yes, lets." They stood and Monica put her coat on as they walked to the door. "Uh, crap," said Monica.
"What's wrong?" asked Dana.
"Look outside."
It was raining. "Uh, not good."
Monica took her jacket off. "Put this on."
"But you'll get wet," protested Dana.
"It's fine," said Monica, helping Dana into it. She was so close to Dana and found it hard to not touch her, then Dana turned and they were too close – "thank you" – and she rubbed Monica's naked arm.
They stepped out. "Where are we going?" asked Monica
"To… mine," said Dana, uneasily.
"OK, let's get a cab." Monica hailed one.
The journey was silent. Monica was busy thinking what to say to Dana and how to play it.
"You OK?" said Dana, touching Monica's arm.
"Yes, fine," she said and placed her hand on Dana's.
They arrived at Dana's and walked in.
"Drink?" Dana asked.
"Umm, no, not right now."
"OK," said Dana, hanging Monica's coat on the chair. She came and sat next to Monica.
"Dana…" started Monica, "I've been such a fool."
"No, you haven't," argued Dana.
"Yes, I have. I split from you, which was a complete over reaction."
"No, Monica, it wasn't. I understand why you did it."
"But it was wrong. But do you love Mulder? Please be honest." Monica wanted to start it on a clean new slate with honesty.
"He gave me my miracle baby. In a way, yes, I do love him but not like I… not like I love you."
"I understand that," she said ignoring the love you, "but would you ever get back with him or want him sexually again?"
"Monica… No, never. I… was yours and even now that I'm not it doesn't change how much I feel for him. He and I are past. It happened and I don't want him again."
Monica nodded, wondering why hadn't she discussed this with Dana before now. "So if I asked you back…?"
Dana looked shocked. "I'd say yes, as long as this was all over and forgotten."
Monica nodded. "It is done. Now I know why I saw it. Come here." She opened her arms and Dana went into them, squeezing her tight.
"Monica," she whispered.
Monica pulled back to look at Dana. "Yes, hun'?"
"Monica… I love you."
Monica was stunned. "Really?" It fell out and she regretted it.
Dana put her hand on Monica's cheek. "Yes, I do. I really do love you."
Monica could have cried. "I love you too."
"Do you?"
"Yes, I do."
Dana sighed and pulled Monica into her lips. They came together gently and it meant everything to them.
Dana pulled back. "So, we're back together?" she asked
Monica didn't reply. She just pulled Dana into her lips again.
"I'll take that as a yes," smiled Dana.
"Yes, it's a yes."
They continued to kiss and it grew more passionate.
"Will you stay tonight?" asked Dana, between kisses.
"I'd love you to."
And Dana lead her to the bedroom.
Monica was suddenly pulled back to reality from her day dream by the dog pulling and barking at another dog.
"Stop, Moby," she said pulling him away.
Moby? What a name! – but William chose it, after Moby Dick, his favourite book. Dana's influence… but having the dog was Monica's idea.
They turned the corner and up the path. She unlocked the door.
"Moby, Moby, I missed you," came William's voice.
Monica undid his lead and William picked him up and hugged him. Luckily Moby was only a toy Pomeranian, so easy to handle and he loved William.
"Didn't you miss me?" she asked.
"Always, but Moby a little more," smiled William, as he walked off carrying Moby.
"You back baby?" called Dana.
"Yes, I'm back," Monica called back.
Dana appeared from the kitchen. "You OK? You look a little unhappy?" said Dana, taking Monica's hand.
"I'm perfect, just thinking about… When we split temporarily," said Monica pulling Dana into her.
"Why? That was a horrid time."
Monica grinned, wrapped her arms around Dana and whispered, "but the making up was amazing."
"It's rude to whisper," came William's voice.
"Yes, it is. Sorry, William," said Monica.
William nodded and sat on the sofa with his book.
"He's at Mulder's again in a few days. Could we do that all again?"
"Umm, promises," smiled Monica and kissed Dana.