So this is my first time writing in English Make sure to point out any mistake so I can get better!
Thanks for reading xxx

Fire (burn with me)

She had no excuses. Not even one to justify what had happened just a few nights ago. It was her fault, only hers, and she knew it well (too well)
It was hard to wipe away those memories from her head, because she had always been the kind of person who enjoys repeating everything again and again just to analyze it. Kind of a feedback. A lusty feedback, actually.
She wanted to smell his fragrance again, to feel his touching, so unexpected and all the same time so wanted, to hear him moaning softly. Music to her ears.
She was dying to see his eyes closing again while her lips pressed his neck softly, and then make a trail of little kisses up to his lips biting them and catching his breath. To feel his hand pressing her fingers one by one just encouraging her to go on.

And then she wanted to throw herself into the lake and freeze and never have to deal with her feelings again and with that hateful lust that had been growing inside of her. She could no longer know who she was, as if it had driven her crazy or turned her into something she had never been before.

How could she? Merlin.
Prefect, excellent grades, a good person (in doubt recently). Brave as a Gryffindor had to be (most of the times). She had friends and a loving family (let alone her stupid sister). But more important, she had someone who loved her (lately, she really wished he didn't) . Or that's what she saw every time they looked into each other's eyes. She saw love. And she felt bad, she felt horrible, because it had been a while since she couldn't love him the same way.
She just couldn't, she had even forced herself strongly, thinking and thinking… Just to realize they didn't fit anymore. And what's worst was that after this, she was even wondering if they'd ever fit.

Well, she didn't want to compare, but… a few minutes with James Potter could make her feel more alive than her entire relationship life with Amos Diggory.

Potter (every time she thought of him, or heard someone naming him, or saw him, o dreamt about him –which was more frequently than what she'd like to admit-) she would get this sick twist down her stomach.

What had he done? For real.

She was still trying to figure out how he'd caused that on her. A charm maybe (she hoped).

Last encounter had happened a few nights ago while, as usual, she was dealing with her prefect duties, walking around the castle, and thinking about her bed and how happy she was going to be once she had gotten between the sheets. But what actually happened doesn't resemble at all to her perfect sleepy night.

As she was just returning to her bedroom, he appeared by the common room. Of course he wasn't alone, he never is. Marauders (Lily rolled her eyes just at the thought). They were always doing everything together. Eating together, seating together, going to Hogsmeade at night together. Lily would always mock Potter by asking him if Sirius caressed his hateful hair until he fell asleep (not like she had ever thought about doing that), and both of them would nod and hold hands playing to be a married old couple (which Lily was a hundred percent sure they already were)

To make things worse, he looked hot as hell (as always), messy hair pointing in every direction, a red Gryffindor tied over his wrinkled shirt, glasses almost falling off his perfect face.
Lily tried not to look, not to think, not to breathe. She tried to walk straight, run, jump, anything, just to avoid him. But of course, avoiding James Potter wasn't easy.

``Flower, come back here´´ he said whispering, but with a firm voice at the same time. And it was the worst thing he could have done.
Suddenly she realized they were alone. The other three idiots (Remus wasn't an idiot regularly, but when he did stuff to try to bring them close, she made no differences between them) had vanished to who-knows-where and Lily wonders how given the fact that they can't just disappear because they are at Hogwarts, but then she stops thinking when she realizes that she probably did not notice they were leaving because she was too distracted looking at James.
So she turned to him attracted by his magnetic voice, and stood still, prepared to fight, sharpening her claws and looking him straight into the eyes.
He gets closer, slowly. Analyzing her from head to toes, not even worrying to dissimulate the fact that he wanted to have her for his own right there and right now. Potter gave her that characteristic crooked smile, the one he had when he had drank too much. And that's when she figured everything out. And it hurt a bit, the fact that sometimes she thought he just wanted her –mostly when he had drunk too much- and not anything else (this is when Lily wants to kill herself for wanting Potter to have feelings for her. Feelings. Ugh).

They are too close now. Lily knows it: him getting close to her means less and less self-control. It's like maths.

-'You're drunk. I should have figured. Bye Potter'

She was proud of herself and her dramatic acting. She almost felt like in a sixties black and white drama movie, just when the man came back home and her wife was packing to leave him. She could even hear the violins behind her as she made her triumphant exit…

But he broke the rules and took her hand. His hands were soft and cold, too cold. She bets her life that a few minutes earlier Black and him were throwing snow balls to each other, laughing their asses off and not worrying for the Charms test they were having in two days (why on earth couldn't she do that)
That's why Lily shivered a bit, not because he was touching her or looking at her eyes so deeply. But because his hand was cold and she was angry, and he had no right to do this. Her hand was hers and only hers, so she struggled to let it free. Of course he struggled back and he was clearly stronger, so instead of her hand, he pulled the whole Lily right into his chest and wrapped her in a tight hug.
Lord, now she was definitively trapped. And what is worst is that, between his arms, she felt good as hell. As if she had found her place in the world. As if she could finally be herself without caring about what everyone else was thinking, not having to pretend anymore. As if she could finally stop feeling so lonely and miserable.
Potter was an idiot, she had always said that but lately it was hard for her to continue on reaffirming that thought.

Not when he defeated some horrible Slytherins' that were about to hex her one night as she was returning to her bed from the Astronomy Tower (she had been going there lately so her roommates wouldn't hear her cry)

Not when she saw him sitting in the library almost as many hours as she did, frowning his face as he struggled with a particularly hard spell.

Not when he hugged McGonagalls and laid his head on her shoulder after she had told him his parents had passed away as a result from a hard battle with Voldemort's followers (recently nicknamed death eaters)

Of course he wasn't an idiot anymore, it was clear for everyone. And Lily was scared as hell, because the fire she felt inside of her every time she saw him was –at least, for now- , apparently impossible to turn off.

``Potter, let me go. I'm telling you´´ – her voice is shaky. Her whole body is shaky, actually.

``Or what? ´´ - he dares, touching her cheek with his thumb, making her instinctively close her eyes.

`` 'I'll hex you´´ – she adds, eyes still closed, heart beating madly in her chest.

Even with her eyes closed, she knows he is smiling.

Okay. Do it´´

In a fast movement Lily tried to grab her wand from her pocket, but even the drunk James is faster than her, and takes her hand between his. He entangles his fingers between hers, one by one, and takes a step forward. And they are close. Very close. Too close for Lily being able to do anything but admire the thickness of his eyelashes and how good his lips look from this perspective.

Run NOW. Come on Lily, danger. You don't want this, not again. You don't want this. You don't want this…

Or…?

Of course she doesn't leave (as if she could possibly had left…) Instead, she pushes both of them against the nearer wall and presses her lips to his. Fire, again. But hell, does it feel good to get burn.
They stay like this for a few seconds, sparks coming out from their wands (both held in James hand, right above Lily's head). Their own personal firework show.

And then, something kicks in inside of him and Lily feels his tongue slowly trying to part her lips apart. She is so eager for it, she wants to feel him all over her, so she opens her mouth a little bit, and bites his bottom lip slowly, catching it between hers, creating friction, making him bring her closer (even more).
She tastes the fire whisky he has been drinking and the cigarettes he's smoked before. And it turns her on and it makes her sad at the same time because she does not want him drinking his sadness away, no when she could hug him and be with him until he is better sharing pillow talks and chocolate frogs.
Her hands start to have fun with his hair, messing it, almost with violence (because, believe it or not, there is a little part of her that hates him. A lot)

Or maybe what she hates is what he could cause on her.

So she keeps on kissing him, mostly because she is afraid of what would happen once they had broken apart. What was she going to say? Or do? Which place was better to run to? Or maybe she could go to her bedroom and bury herself in the sheets, until all the air was gone and she'd die because there was no air and she asphyxiated.

Well, maybe not.

It is supposed that while you are kissing someone, your mind must be blank and relaxed. But Lily hadn't thought about so much stuff in so little time since she had sit and write that stupid Potions essay a few days ago. She thinks about James (when he is kissing her like that, it is mean to just Potter-him). She thinks that when they are not together, she can hardly consider herself alive. She thinks that she would like to move on from lusty making out to being something, meaning something for him –there is a little voice in her head that insists on the fact that she already means something for him-. Of course she would have to end her relationship (ugh) with Amos Diggory. Of course she has tried but has to stop when he looks at her like he is going to fall apart.

Lily is possibly going to have a huge purple hickey in her neck by the next morning (and since she used to be a good girl, she has never learnt that useful spell to erase hickeys Sirius Black was is good at)

Kissing James Potter had become her favorite game. Driving him mad, leaving him wanting for more, almost craving for Lily to come back and keep on kissing him.
Lily pushed him back a few minutes later, out of air, a little dizzy and still angry.

James, instead, was still smiling. Merlin, she hated him. She wanted to punch him in the face. If she wasn't a prefect, she would have already done it.

''Sweet dreams, Freckles''.

''Loser'' – Lily whispered avoiding his eyes. Her lips where swollen, and her stupid heart wouldn't stop beating madly.

James laughed loudly

''You sure I'm a loser? Somehow, no matter how mad you are at me, you always end up snogging me like there's no tomorrow. So, I guess I've won again. Same time tomorrow, yeah?''

''Stupid idiot tosser'' Cursing, Lily left the common room. Her hands hurt because she is pressing her fists in an attempt not to go back and kill him. Or maybe she is only holding herself back because she is afraid that if she relaxes for a second … she might probably go downstairs and kiss him madly again.