'It's not a date.' He kept telling himself. 'It's not a date. It's just two friends, who aren't currently seeing anyone, spending Valentine's Day together so they don't have to spend it alone.'
That's all it was.
Clark kept repeating it as he called Lois on his cell to ask her if she wanted to come out to the farm. She wouldn't turn him down, would she?
Knowing Lois as he did though, she probably would.
What was the big deal about dinner anyway? It wasn't as though she wasn't already spending nearly every evening at the farm having dinner with him. The catch was, it was Valentine's Day and ever since they'd kissed at the Christmas Ball Lois had stopped spending the night.
She refused to talk about what happened between them, and she'd refused to talk to him for nearly a week after he'd made the mistake of wanting to drive her home. Actually, his mistake was in telling her that he would drive her, with no more intent than to be the gentleman his parent's raised.
Lois, unfortunately, had taken it to mean she couldn't take care of herself and Clark spent the rest of the night berating himself for knowing that he should have thought that strategy through, before he said anything.
But his heart and his body were warm from her kisses and her touch. It still made his breath shallow at the though of her soft lips kissing his and the deftness with which she unbuttoned his jacket so she could be closer to him. And once he'd had her tucked inside of it, he caught her between himself and the wall, wanting nothing more that to feel as much of her pressed against him as he could.
How was it possible to feel what he was feeling for someone who was nothing more than his friend?
And how many times had he thought about kissing her since then, knowing that he shouldn't because he wasn't supposed to be thinking about her like that.
Lois wasn't supposed to be able to do that to him.
This was so much worse than when they'd both been infected with the aphrodisiac and Red Kryptonite because when they'd kissed that night, he wasn't himself and she didn't remember it. But when they'd kissed in the dim hallway of the Regent Hotel, she did remember and he didn't consider at the time that there would be fallout to deal with.
Part of that fallout consisted of her not staying to watch a movie with him after dinner anymore and leaving as soon as the dishes were done. She would wait in the living room until he'd washed and rinsed them before she would rush into the kitchen to dry them and put them away. And when he would try and get close to her, she would sidle away from him.
It wasn't as though some part of her didn't want him close because he began to notice that she would flush when he would get within a couple of feet of her and her breathing would become shallow. His proximity was affecting her, but he knew that she didn't want it to.
Whatever it was that she was feeling, she was fighting it tooth and nail and would never admit to him that she was feeling anything.
And it frustrated him because he knew he shouldn't be frustrated, not over Lois Lane.
When she finally called him back, she sounded agitated and he knew it was a good thing that she couldn't see him smile; but he couldn't help it. "What do you want, Smallville?"
"I was thinking that if you didn't have any other plans tonight, maybe you'd be free for dinner?" His hands started to shake and had to take a deep breath to calm himself as he tried to keep his tone light.
"Why?"
"Because if I don't cook you dinner, you probably won't eat." He surmised.
"I happen to have a microwave dinner heating up as we speak." She sounded defensive and Clark knew she didn't. "So I'll pass."
"A microwave dinner? Lois do you know how much sodium is in those things?" He tried not to laugh as he goaded her. "You could end up with high blood pressure if you eat too many of them and with your temper."
"My temper?" Lois cut him off as she started to yell through the phone. "My temper is just fine!"
"I can tell." Don't laugh, Clark. He warned himself.
"Why?" She asked again and probably saw right through him. "You do know what today is?"
"Yeah, it's Friday." He could be just as much of a smart-ass as she could because Lois was the only woman he knew who could bring that out in him.
"You know that's not what I mean." And he heard her sigh. "Do you know what today is?"
"I know what today is." He nodded.
"Then if you know that, why are you asking me out?" Clark could hear the confusion in her voice and wondered if she was trying to figure things out, too.
"I'm not asking you out, I'm asking my friend to have dinner with me. Just like she does when it's not Valentine's Day."
"So you're not planning on springing flowers and candlelight on me?"
"Why?" Don't laugh, Clark. He warned himself again. "I have no plans for flowers and candlelight."
"Or chocolate and strawberries?" Was that a request?
"I'm allergic to strawberries, so no." He started to shake with silent laughter. He really wasn't allergic, but she didn't need to know that.
"Oh."
"Gee Lois, you sound disappointed." Clark knew he shouldn't have been enjoying it as much as he was; but he was.
"Oh, please. It was the chocolate I was thinking about." Lois told him.
"Whatever you say." He grinned. "So are you coming out here or not?"
"Can I think about it?" She was hesitating and he couldn't say that he blamed her. But he didn't want to give her the opportunity to say no, either.
"You have ten seconds." He declared.
"Smallville." She protested.
"The clock is ticking; you now have seven seconds." Clark informed her with a glance at his watch.
"Clark."
"And now you're down to five." He really shouldn't have been enjoying this.
"This isn't funny."
"Three."
"Clark."
"Two."
"Smallville."
"One. And your time is up, so what's your decision?"
"Fine."
"Fine?" He grinned again. "As in?"
"I'll be there." And then she let out an exasperated sigh. "When?"
"Well, I need time to blow out the candles and throw the flowers away, so how about a half-hour?" He laughed softly, no longer able to hold it in.
"Smallville." She snapped at him. "You just said."
"Lois, I was kidding." He soothed her. "It's not going to be anything special, I promise."
"It better not be." Lois warned him. "If it even remotely looks like a romantic dinner, I'm leaving."
"Fair enough."
oooooo
He couldn't help but wish that he'd changed into something nicer that the blue tee shirt and jeans he was wearing, but he promised her that it wasn't going to be anything special. And he had no doubt that if he had changed, she would have bolted for the door without looking back.
He kept taking deep breaths to try and stay calm, telling himself again that it wasn't a date. So if that were true, why in the heck did it feel like a date?
He looked at his watch again and time had ticked down and he was expecting her to be at his front door at any moment. And as if on cue, the front doorbell rang.
She'd stopped walking in the side door unannounced after Mom went to Washington because she stopped coming out to the farm with any regularity after Lana moved in with him.
She'd walked in one morning as she always had and found them having breakfast. He didn't know who was more embarrassed, Lois or him. And come to think of it, he wasn't even sure why he was embarrassed.
She'd issued a quick 'Sorry' and turned back around, closed the door behind her and walked to her car. He'd followed her out, leaving Lana with a perplexed look on her face, to apologize for making her feel uncomfortable.
She'd replied that she should have known better than to think she could do that anymore and then she was gone.
He shouldn't have missed her, but he did because she was the only person he knew that made him feel human.
Since Alicia had shown Chloe what he could do, she'd treated him differently. For months she'd dropped veiled hints that she was aware of his abilities and when he looked back at it, he should have realized it, but he missed it completely.
Lana just wanted to pretend as though they didn't exist and live in domestic bliss, as Oliver had called it. She never seemed comfortable with the knowledge that he wasn't who she'd always thought he was even though she tried to pretend otherwise.
Even his parents had always treated him differently. He understood that they did it to protect him, but it always reminded him that he wasn't human, and that always made him feel as though he couldn't fit in.
He supposed it was because he was treated differently by so many people, that he never asked Lois to stop calling him 'Smallville'; even though he could have lived without it.
Oliver had told him months ago that she'd never given that kind of an honor to anyone else but him. And it interested Clark that he saw it that way. Of course, Oliver was one of the most straightforward men he'd ever met and didn't hesitate to call things as he saw them.
That's why he and Lois had seemed to be such a perfect match.
He shook off his musings as he walked to the door to answer it. Lois was standing on the other side, looking more uncomfortable than he'd ever seen her. She was frowning in concentration as she nibbled on the side of her lip and that was a sure indication she was trying to make a decision about something.
Clark had no idea what it could be.
"Smallville, do you want to kiss me?" She asked as she walked into the house, closing the door behind her.
"What?" He wasn't expecting that as he followed her into the living room.
"It's a simple question." She stopped and faced him. "Do you want to kiss me?"
"Why?" He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out what she was thinking.
"I thought about it on the way over here and I figured if you wanted to kiss me, we could take care of it now and then there wouldn't be that embarrassing awkwardness at the end of the evening." She babbled. "Because all you'd have to do is look at me with those baby blues of yours and I'd give in."
Don't smile Clark, and his heart began to flutter in anticipation. "So what exactly are you trying to say?"
She turned away from him and began to pace. "I'm saying that all I've been able to think about since your mom's charity event is how handsome you were in that tuxedo and how I felt so safe in your arms and how I didn't expect you to kiss me the way you did."
His heart hitched for a moment because he never thought he'd hear Lois talk about him like that.
"How can I feel anything for you, you're 'Smallville'." She sighed and ran a hand across her forehead.
"I still am Lois. But I'm also the guy you kissed at the Regent and you kissed me like you meant it."
"I did and that's what doesn't make sense." And her head dropped in defeat. "Clark, I'm not ready for this; I'm not ready to jump into another relationship."
So that was it.
"I'm not asking you to, because I'm not ready for that either." He tried to reassure her. "I just know that I'm happier when I'm around you and it's been a long time since I've been happy."
"I make you happy?" The idea seemed foreign to her as she turned and looked at him with suspicious curiosity.
"I didn't say that you made me happy." He couldn't resist. "I just said that I'm happier when I'm around you. There's a difference."
"Whatever." She waived it off.
"Lois?"
"What?"
Clark swallowed nervously and felt his face warm. "Do you want to kiss me?"
He'd never been as direct with anyone before, except Oliver and it felt odd. But what he was feeling for Lois felt just as odd and she turned away from him again.
"I don't know." Her voice was breathless and it made his heart flutter even more.
He needed to make a decision right there because Lois couldn't help him. He hoped that it would be the right one as he took a breath and his body started to shake. "Would it be all right if I helped you decide?"
"How?" She asked and it barely came out as a whisper.
Tread lightly Clark.
She nodded and he took another breath, he was committed.
No Clark, you should be committed.
He swallowed again and approached her cautiously before he put his hands lightly on her shoulders, and when she expelled a breath Clark hesitated for a moment. "You can trust me."
Lois nodded again as he slowly turned her to face him. Her head was down and he could feel her shoulders trembling under his hands. Just follow your instincts, he told himself and smiled as she leaned in and put her head on his chest.
He pressed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and before he knew it, her arms were around him. The shaking was worse and he knew it wasn't because of him, but whatever it was that she was feeling for him. "Lois?"
"What?" He heard faintly.
"I can't help you decide if you don't look at me." He felt his own body begin to shake again and as he pulled her into his arms, couldn't help but wish for some kind of an interruption so he wouldn't have to go through with it. And it wasn't because he was having second thoughts; it was because he wanted it so much.
And that scared him.
Her head slowly came up and her face was crimson. He could see from the look in her eyes that she was just as scared as he was, but even as she swallowed, she didn't break eye contact. He couldn't help but glance down at her lips and if it was possible, Lois' face grew even redder.
Tell me it's okay, Lois. He looked into her eyes and waited for her to give him a signal because he wouldn't move until she did.
It didn't register for a moment that her fingers had begun to gently stroke his back and Clark wondered if she was even aware of it, but that was all he needed before he leaned over and kissed her. It was short and as soft as he could make it and he waited again.
Her eyes were closed and he could see a ghost of a smile, so he leaned over again and kissed her for a little longer. When he started to lean back a second time, she followed him and kept her lips in contact with his as she kissed him back.
It took all the willpower he had not to crush her against him and kiss her with all the passion he was suddenly feeling, because she trusted him. And that trust warmed his heart as much as her kisses warmed his body.
"You promised, no flowers." His dazed mind barely registered her irritated voice in his ear. And when he leaned back, refusing to let her out of his arms, Lois was frowning.
"What are you talking about?" He frowned himself, in confusion and more than a little frustration and looked at her.
"You said no flowers." She pulled herself out of his arms and stomped toward the kitchen and then he sighed. He turned and followed her before he understood why she was so annoyed; the dozen long stemmed red roses sitting in a vase on the island.
"Lois I did promise no flowers, those are from Mom." He explained with a smile. "She didn't want you to think that you'd been forgotten today and asked me to make sure that you got them." He picked up a single long stemmed yellow rose lying in front of the vase and handed it to her. "This, however is from me."
"Clark."
"I never promised not to give you a flower." He couldn't help but grin at her annoyance. "And in case you hadn't noticed, my rose is yellow. And yellow represents friendship, seeing as how you are my friend."
"Even after all of this?" She sighed and fingered the rose, before she brought it up to her nose and sniffed it.
"Especially after of all this." He shrugged. "We started out four years ago barely tolerating each other and I'll be the first to admit that I never saw this coming. But we've managed to become good friends since then and it's what made this even possible."
"I'm still not ready for a relationship." And then she smiled at him. "Even though I like the way you kiss me."
His felt his face flush in appreciation. "That's fine Lois. Because as much as I like the way you kiss me back, I'm not ready for a relationship either."
"So we'll keep things the way they are." She quirked an eyebrow at him.
He nodded. "But with one minor adjustment."
"Should I even ask?" And she started to laugh.
"No, because I think you already know." He reached for her and Lois put her arms around his neck, still holding his rose.
"I think I can live with that." She agreed.
"I'm glad to hear it." He pulled her close.
"Smallville?"
"What is it Lois?"
"Shut up and kiss me."
So he did.