Lullaby
SUMMARY: He really had no idea where exactly he was running, he couldn't see with the inky blackness surrounding him. He had to save her. Beginning of Season 7. One-shot. TIVA. Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or Lullaby.
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
your very own lullaby
-Nickelback, Lullaby
Tony winced as the stitch in his side throbbed painfully and the thorns ripped open his jeans exposing flesh and blood. He really had no idea where exactly he was running, he couldn't see with the inky blackness surrounding him. All Tony knew at this moment was that McGee and Gibbs were at his side racing through the cold forest, and he was running out of time. In fact, time could have run out. Pushing the negativity out of his mind he raced on, he had to save her. This was getting to be a something of a common occurrence, he mused as he leaped over a puddle of water, saving her. But Tony didn't mind, not really. Because she was his everything, and now that she was missing, he felt as though he had lost a piece of himself. I do believe in soul mates, Ziva, he thought.
7 HOURS EARLIER
"Ziva? Hey! Ziva? Are you ok?" Tony asked the brunette Israeli.
Ziva turned around, looked at Tony, nodded, and returned to her work. In that moment, Tony DiNozzo was left speechless. When she looked at him, it was as though her eyes pulled all the light from the room, like a black hole, he mused. She was not herself, not after Somalia. However, the psychiatrist deemed her stable enough for work at NCIS. Hell, Gibbs deemed her stable enough to become a Probie. Perhaps because Gibbs said that she was ok, Tony believed it without a second thought. Because what Gibbs said was law and so he did not notice her silences becoming longer, her smiles more rare and her inner voice fading. He needed the old Ziva back, although if she ever would come back, that was a different matter all together. This was breaking his heart, literally. The last woman to break his heart was his mother when she died. But this, this was Ziva. Ziva, who had somehow wormed her way into Tony's heart, and had never left.
"Ziva? I know this is last minute, but would you like to come over to my place and maybe watch a TV show? Have some pizza? My treat." Tony smiled over at her.
"No thank you, Tony, although I appreciate it greatly. You have been very kind to me." Ziva replied, not looking at him this time, just speaking to her computer.
"Tomorrow maybe?" Tony pressed, not wanting to let this opportunity go.
"Maybe," Ziva answered as she switched off her computer, "Goodnight."
Tony was about to offer a goodnight but she had already swept to the elevator and ran inside. I'll bring you back from the ledge, Ziva, Tony thought as he gathered his things together about 30 minutes later when he finished his paperwork. Just as he was about to leave, a shiny light in the direction of Ziva's desk caught his peripheral vision. Walking over, he saw her Star of David necklace on her desk along with a sealed letter addressed to him, stating to be opened when he returned home. Thoroughly confused as to why she left these two things, he made his way to the elevator. Tony entered the parking garage, walked over to his car, and ripped open the letter. Patience was not a word recognized by DiNozzo men.
Tony, the letter read,
I am sorry that I have left you this letter. Although, in complete honesty, as I watch you now at your desk, there is no other person in the world who I would rather write this too. I have changed, Tony. Somalia has affected me more than I ever thought possible. I have fallen into a black hole, and I cannot escape from it. I wish that I could Tony, truly. Because when that bag was removed from my head, I could not have been happier to see that you were my rescuer. You have been a great partner Tony. You have had my back, and for that, I thank you. I cannot take the suffering anymore. I know that this is the easy way out, but there is nothing left for me here. I leave my necklace for you Tony, and my heart. Please, treasure them when I am gone. Again, I am sorry.
Love always,
Ziva
Tony couldn't breath. Tony couldn't think. All that Tony could do was race upstairs, hoping that McGee and Gibbs hadn't left yet. He had already lost his mother. He was not about to loose the love of his life.
5 HOURS EARLIER
"Ziva, it's Tony again. I guess this is the 47th message I've left for you. I'm kind of freaking out, because I can't reach you. Please, don't do anything to harm yourself. I promise you, things will get better. Call me." Tony sighed as he hung up the phone. It was as though all of NCIS had re-appeared on this Friday evening. Every agent called in by Director Vance to save Ziva.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs snapped, "she won't answer you know that. Your job is to think of where she could have possibly got to. There aren't any clues at her apartment or here at the office."
"Gibbs," Abby whispered to the Marine, "please don't yell at Tony. He's in just as much, if not more pain than you right now."
The Marine's eye softened and he walked away, with Abby trailing behind him. "I should have seen it Abby," Gibbs stated, his steel-blue eyes looking at something Abby could not see. "I'm like her father, I let her down."
"You thought she would pull through Gibbs, we all did. But we will get Ziva back. She may be able to hide, but I can seek. In fact, I won hide-and-seek three times in elementary school, Gibbs. I have trophies and everything." Abby smiled, pigtails bobbing up and down.
"Boss!" McGee called, "I think I found something. Remember that case that we were working on last week?"
How could Gibbs forget? Private Gabrielle Evans was locked inside a shed in the middle of the state forest by her crazed, jealous ex-fiancé Derek. The team had found her barely alive, with a delusional Derek screaming that if he could not have her, no one could. Motioning McGee to continue, he looked over at the big screen.
"Well Ziva was researching the area surrounding the cabin quite a bit. I didn't consider it all that important because I thought that it pertained to the case. But I think that Ziva was trying to find the fastest way to get to the cabin. She was hiding her final destination in plain sight."
"You're brilliant Tim." Tony yelled as he ran for the elevator door, with the rest of NCIS hot on his heels.
PRESENT
As the three agents raced through the forest, the small cabin appeared on the horizon, a dim light escaping through the windows. Tony winced mentally as he thought of the state that he could possibly find Ziva in. He ran forward and pulled open the door, ignoring the pain of the splinters slashing open his skin. What Tony saw before him almost made him vomit. There was Ziva, his Ziva, lying in a pool of blood with a deep gash on her left wrist. Kneeling at her side, Tony ripped at his shirt, creating a makeshift bandage that he wrapped around her injured wrist. Looking into her face, he saw her eyes flutter open briefly. "I told you not to look for me," she whispered. Bending over, he kissed her forehead as the squeal of the sirens hit his eyes.
"It's this way." Tony heard McGee say to the paramedics.
"Bethesda has already been notified Tony. She'll be in a good place." Gibbs murmured to Tony as he looked at Ziva with guilt-ridden eyes.
"This isn't your fault Boss," Tony muttered as the paramedics loaded Ziva's body on the stretcher, "I should have realized that the woman I love was gone."
Tony peaked up at the older man's face upon finishing his declaration. Gibbs didn't even bat an eyelash. He knows everything, Tony mused as they walked towards the waiting helicopter.
2 DAYS LATER
The room was blindingly white and far too quiet, excluding the rather annoying beeping filling her ears. Ziva carefully craned her neck, trying to make sense of her new surroundings. She was in a hospital, because she tried to commit suicide. It almost worked, she thought; expect Tony saved her, again. Although, this time, he should have left her, she was broken. Somalia was worse than any other experience of her life. She would have never betrayed NCIS, so Saleem and his men took turns physically, mentally and emotionally abusing her. When Tony saved her, she considered that eventually she would move on. However, her scarred mind would not allow her to achieve peace and she slowly sank into darkness.
Her musings were cut short as her door opened and Gibbs walked in, a look of relief in his eyes when he saw she was awake. No words were said; there would be time later. Gibbs walked over to her bed, gathered her up in his arms, and silently rocked her back and forth. Sometime later, she wasn't sure when, she noticed a shadow moving on the couch across her room. Gibbs' eyes followed hers, "Tony has not left your sied. He showers here, eats here, and sleeps here. He won't leave." She nodded, words still not able to be vocalized. They would come, she was sure.
SIX MONTHS LATER
"Thank you Dr. Thomas." Ziva stated to her psychiatrist as she began to pack her things. The young brunette doctor nodded, her blue eyes shining with empathy. Ziva had been reluctant to see the doctor, who was fresh out of residency and had just opened up her own practice. But this doctor understood, this doctor had dealt with her own demons growing up, and had taught Ziva to embrace the good and the bad. And the bad did stay around, although it had less of a hold on Ziva, who was proud that little by little, she was able to move on.
Turning into the driveway, she saw the kitchen light on. "Hello Tony!" she greeted as she hung up her jacket. Tony ran into the foyer, wrapped his arms around her and brought her in for a kiss. "How was Dr. Thomas?" he questioned, quite partial to the doctor who was a key player in saving the love of life. Ziva nodded and smiled, stating that her session had gone well. Tony's heart leaped in that moment, seeing her smile, he would never take it for granted again.
"So I spoke with Vance," he began as they walked towards the kitchen, "and he is willing to re-instate you. Apparently, everyone loves Dr. Thomas." He smiled, thinking of what she possibly could have said to Vance to convince him to bring Ziva back. Whatever it was, the doctor must have seen Ziva slowly bring herself back from the darkness and had now given her a chance to slowly return to a somewhat normal life. Looking back at Ziva, he was amazed as to how happy she looked in that moment. Like she could take on the world, and she could win.
That night, as the pair was getting ready for bed, Ziva turned around and stared at Tony. Feeling eyes on the back of his head, he looked at her questioningly. "Sing me my lullaby?" she quietly asked. This was tradition of theirs. After her release from the hospital, Tony who had taken Ziva in would sing her to sleep. Gathering her up in arms, he began to softly sing:
Please let me take you
Out of the darkness and into the light
'Cause I have faith in you
That you're gonna make it through another night
Stop thinking about the easy way out
There's no need to go and blow the candle out
Because you're not done
You're far too young
And the best is yet to come
So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone