Title: Death
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Minor character death and light language. And slash.
A/N: Written for impromptu50 writing challenge on LiveJournal. I had a sudden urge to make JD really sad and to make Dr. Cox suffer with him. This was written in about 45 minutes. If it's not that great please let me know so I can make a note to take my time on future stories. ;)
Also my first time writing slash. Or any kind of physical romance-y stuff in general. Hurrah.
Summary: Today is no ordinary day.
Perry found him standing on the roof of the apartment building.
JD stood before the ledge, his hands shoved deep into his coat pockets, his legs pressed against the rough concrete as he leaned over the edge.
Perry let the door slam shut behind him, using the noise to alert JD that he was no longer alone. The young man tilted his head towards the noise, but otherwise didn't move.
They stood that way for a moment, separated by thirty feet of gravel and chilly air. Cars drove past noisily on the street below, people walked to and from their destinations, acting as though this were an ordinary day. As far as those poor mindless souls knew, it was.
But not for JD. Today was different.
"What time is it?" JD's voice had dropped to a lower register, one that Perry rarely heard the kid use. He glanced down at his watch.
"Nearly 10:15," he called. "We should leave soon." No response. Perry walked towards the lone figure. "JD, did you hear me?"
He watched the head bob twice in acknowledgement of his words. Perry stopped a short distance away. He knew this had to be hard - hard? Try excruciatingly painful - for the kid. After all, it's not every day one attends their young son's funeral.
"I don't know if I can do this," JD said, his voice cracking with emotion.
Perry sighed and closed the small distance that remained between them. "You don't have to go."
JD turned to stare at his friend. His face was pale and streaked with tears. "What kind of father would that make me?"
Perry reached up to grip JD's shoulders. "You were a wonderful father, JD," he said, his voice firm. JD stood still, passive. His eyes were staring distantly at some invisible speck on Perry's coat. His breath came in soft, shallow pants. A fresh tear began its trek down his smooth face. Perry reached up a hand to brush it away. "JD . . ."
The boy suddenly lurched forward, grabbing the collar of Perry's coat and pulling him forward. JD's mouth crashed against his, the contact almost hard enough to be painful. Arms circled around Perry's chest, warm breath ghosting against his cheek as JD took a sharp breath, and then those lips were on his again.
Perry stood still, allowing the young man to take what he wanted. He moaned softly against Perry's mouth. Perry felt his fingers tighten around JD to pull him closer.
As soon as it had begun, the energy that had seized JD seemed to melt away. JD leaned against Perry, limp. His arms slipped from their place around the older man's shoulders to hang dead at his sides. His face pressed against Perry's neck as he worked to catch his breath.
"I can't believe you let me do that," JD breathed. Perry didn't quite believe it either. Instead of responding, he kept a tight grip on the boy. A hand traveled down from his face to rub soothingly against his back. He could feel JD trembling beneath his palm.
"I just . . . Can you even imagine what this is like?" His voice was muffled against warm skin, but Perry could still hear the pain and soft twinge of jealousy that laced the words. Perry didn't reply. His mind was suddenly consumed with thoughts of his own children. Jack and Jennifer. What if something ever happened to them? How would - how could? - he deal with that . . .
He didn't think he could live if his children were taken away. He knew he couldn't. Perry's hands fisted in JD's hair and brought their foreheads together. The fact that this kid could remain so composed was a goddamned miracle. Perry knew he'd never be able to do it. He wouldn't be able to crawl out of bed let alone dress himself and go to their funeral. To watch that tiny casket be lowered into the ground. To know he'd never see his child smile again. Never see them go to school, go through puberty, go to prom, marriage, grandchildren . . .
"Perry," JD whispered. Perry found he still couldn't talk. The muscles in his throat constricted, desperately shoving down the sob that wanted to erupt from his chest. JD's hand found the older man's face. Long fingers wiped away the wetness that had suddenly formed beneath his eyes.
How could he tell JD he was thinking of his own children? How could he tell this man he was busy mourning the imaginary death of his own flesh and blood when he was needed to mourn the real death of JD's small boy? He shook his head and shut his eyes against the images swimming through his mind.
"It's okay," JD said softly. "I understand."
Perry's heart broke a little at those words. Man was not meant to feel such emotions, he concluded. It wasn't healthy - it wasn't right. An almost desperate feeling of need surged through him - a need to feel something else, a need to find something that would overtake the guilt and sympathy and sadness welling up inside of him, even if it was only for a moment. Pulling JD forward he pressed their lips together roughly and held him there. JD stood still, allowing the older man to kiss him.
A moment passed and Perry pulled away enough to allow them to breathe again. JD leaned forward, just a fraction, to brush his lips lightly against Perry's. The older man ran his hands through JD's hair, attempting to smooth it back down to its original state. "JD," he stated, trying to keep his voice even, "if you ever need anything . . . Ever . . ."
JD nodded and pressed a soft - final - kiss to the older man's mouth.
Pulling away he sniffled and scrubbed a hand across his face. His eyes, rimmed with red, shone bright blue against the pale winter sky. He took in a long breath, using it to calm his nerves.
JD shoved his hands deep into his coat pockets. Without a word, he walked around Perry and headed for the door. Perry followed close behind.
A/N2: Feedback is appreciated!