This was inspired by an Anon's Imagine an AU from the rad Tumblr blog Matthewbeilschmidts which I'm following. While I already started another Anon request this appealed to me a lot more. I wrote this really quick for my standards. Enjoy!


Gilbert was startled awake by the sound of screaming.

He had once smashed six plates (long story) and he didn't even get a knock on the wall and a 'Hey, are you alive in there?' from his other neighbours so he knew how it felt to be ignored in a time of need. Without hesitation he ran out into the hallway and scrambled to the home next door to give assistance (armed with a broom just in case of course).

He didn't think there would actually be anything there, but when he flipped over the welcome mat in front of the door there was a spare key to the apartment.

'I'm going to have to talk to him about this…' Gilbert thought absently as he unlocked the door and rushed in. They only ever talked to each other briefly in passing and it was mainly small talk but he figured it would be alright to break into his house if he was screaming bloody murder at one in the morning.

"What is wrong citizen?" Gilbert bellowed dramatically as he searched the room for any obvious sources of distress.

"Oh god Gilbert thank you!" cried Matthew as he sprinted towards the albino and dragged him to his bedroom.

"Whoa! A little forward tonight huh?" Gilbert said in surprise and he was pulled along.

"Get it! Get it! Get it!" Matthew yelled as he shoved the man into the room and hid around the corner, only peeking into the room.

"Wh- Hey what's going on?" Gilbert asked in confusion.

"It's in the bed!" Matthew yelled in panic.

"What is?" Gilbert asked as he stepped closer in curiosity.

Something he would later regret.

"It's under the blanket!"

"What is?" Gilbert yelled back in frustration as he started to hesitantly move the sheets around, and uncovered something that made him go cold.

"A spider!" he shrieked before jumping away from the bed as if it were the arachnid itself.

"It moved!" Matthew screamed in pure terror as it started to crawl upward to his vacated pillow with horrifying speed.

"Oh fuck no!" Gilbert shouted before running out of the room and slamming it closed with more unnecessary force than Matthew used the first time, he took the blond's hand and pulled him into his kitchen.

"See! There's a spider in my bed!" Matthew said as they hid behind the kitchen counters.

"Why didn't you tell me that sooner?! I would have brought a lighter and some aerosol spray to burn that thing!" Gilbert said as he tried to calm his racing heart.

"That would have set the room on fire." Matthew said dryly.

Gilbert grabbed him by the shoulders "Get your priorities straight man! There was a fucking spider in your bed! You need to set this whole place on fire! I'm sure everyone will understand!"

"Good point. But where am I going to sleep?" Matthew pondered aloud. No way was he going back in there without knowing for sure that…thing…was dead.

"Living room. Do you have any extra blankets?" Gilbert asked as he finally calmed down enough to be 'rational' about this.

"Yeah…but…they're in my closet…in my…in my room." Matthew said with increasing dread in his voice.

"No problem, I've got some. We're totally building a blanket fort though." Gilbert said as he led the way out. "Do you mind?" He asked as he stopped to snatch the laptop sitting on the coffee table in the living room.

"I'll get the charger." Matthew said as he unplugged and wrapped it up to take with them.

"Damn, left my broom in your room…oh well, I needed a new one." Gilbert said with little regret. Sure he could have gone back there and quickly grab it but for all he knew the spider was all over it!

"Man, and I liked this apartment…such a shame it burned down." Matthew said wistfully as he locked the door behind them.

"Oh don't worry, I'll text my brother Ludwig and he can come down tomorrow- well this afternoon really, to get rid of it. He won't be happy to find out this is the emergency though…" Gilbert muttered before shrugging to himself as if to say 'Oh well!'

And half an hour later they were curled up under a fortress made of pillows and blankets (carefully inspected for more unwanted bedmates), watching movies on Netflix in Gilbert's apartment and sipping hot chocolate.

"I still can't believe you gave me your wifi password…this is all happening so quickly it's becoming a blur…" Matthew murmured with false apprehension.

"Matthew…what we just went through was a traumatic experience that will always haunt us. We'll never be able to go to bed without wondering if something else is in there with us. I actually read somewhere that on average eight spiders crawl into your mouth while you're sleeping per year. You never believe the statistics until you become one of them…giving you my wifi password is the least I can do." Gilbert said soothingly.

Matthew finally gave in to the hilarity of it all.

And Gilbert was chuckling along with him before he suddenly cried out in pain.

"Something bit me!" He said with panic.

"What! How did they learn the password?" Matthew said with growing anxiety as he got ready to run in case it turned out that there was an uninvited guest in their secret fort.

"I was bit by the love bug. Can you suck out the venom?" Gilbert said with a sly smirk.

Matthew gave him a flat look as he settled down again.

"I would hit you if that wasn't so smooth."


Don't worry, the spider thing is a myth! But I feel like Gilbert would believe in a lot of myths either for fun or because he doesn't check for sources on these facts...