Glad You Came, a pretty little liars fanfic

A/N: So, my first PLL fanfic/songfic. Plus I LOVE Spoby so I just had to write it. Takes place a little while after they got together. This fanfic is a little more darker than I usually write, so feedback is appreciated! This is also all in Spencer's POV. Popped into my head 9:00 at night. Enjoy and R&R!

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts, is here and now
My universe, will never be the same
I'm glad you came

The blood pounding in my ears was all I could hear. My feet ached from pounding relentlessly on the pavement as I sprinted home.

My friends and I had just received another text from A. I don't know what had come over me, I usually handle pressure so well.

It just, twisted me the wrong way, and I just broke. It read,

Watch your backs bitches. Especially those who are close. –A

As soon as I read it, my eyes were filled with tears and I had sprinted towards my house. I could hear my friends calling my name, but I didn't care. I had to get away, to escape it all.

When I reached my front door, my head was pumping and my vision was clouded. I shakily reached for the door handle. It turned with ease and I stumbled inside, my knees ready to give way at any given moment.

I dropped my bag and stumbled up the stairs, letting out a sob once in a while. I reminded myself to punish myself later for being so stupid, showing emotion, being weak. Being so imperfect. That's not what a Hastings does.

Why….why me? Was it just fate I had to endure this hell? Was it destiny I became friends with Allison, and suffer the consequences of her murder?

No. I don't deserve it. I've never done anything wrong. Except for the Jenna thing….but that was all Ali's idea in the first place.

You cast a spell on me, spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me
And I decided you look well on me, well on me
Let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me

Just hold on Spencer. How much can an almost seemingly invisible person do to you and the ones you love?

A Lot!

Then, his name popped into my head.

Toby.

How am I supposed to protect him, when I can't even protect myself? It didn't make any sense.

Why can't it all end? The world just plunge into darkness, for A to disappear, anything to end this hell!

Couldn't I just drop dead, someone else could take my place with my friends. No one would miss me. Would they?

The tears continued to fall as I thought of my friend's life without her. Happy, care-free, maybe A would even stop targeting them. My parents would have one less, stress causing daughter. And Toby…

He could find someone better than me.

Maybe I should, it would be the best for everyone.

With a nod of my head, I wiped my eyes and started for the stairs. Tripping every once in a while, I finally made it, leaning on the door frame to support my broken self.

I walked in and opened the middle drawer of my bathroom counter and picked up the small pocket knife my parents got me for my birthday last year.

I pressed the little button on the side and with a swish, the little knife came poking out. A sly grin came across my face.

"I'm gonna do it. Just do it. No one will miss you. Not Hanna or Aria or Emily. Definitely not Melissa or your parents. And especially…Toby. He'll be glad you're gone." I coached myself. On one fluid motion I brought the knife to my wrist and slid it. I felt the blade connect with my skin and the sticky red liquid ooze out.

Turn the lights out now
Now I'll take you by the hand
Hand you another drink, drink it if you can
Can you spend a little time?
Time is slipping away, Away from us so stay
Stay with me I can make
Make you glad you came

I cried out a little at the sharp contact, but smiled as the physical pain slowly pushed away my emotional pain. I then took the knife and did it to my other wrist, crying out a little again. It was worth it though. A, would be stuck on who to torture, my friends would have one less stress with me gone, and Toby would be safe.

The blood began dripping on the floor and I was crying my eyes out.

Is this really happening? I can't believe this is actually happening! I started crying even more as I hovered the knife over the bottom of my leg. However, the sound of a door opening caused me to drop the knife suddenly to the ground.

Who could possibly be home? Melissa texted me that she just left an hour ago, and both my parents were at work.

"Spencer?" the voice called out. Oh god.

His voice only made the tears fall faster, making me hide my head in my knees as the blood still leaked from my wrists.

I could hear heavy and quick footsteps running up the stairs. There was then a knock on the door, which I ignored. He then tried to come in, but the door was locked.

"Spencer? Are you in there? Are you alight? Hanna texted me and said you ran off from them.." he started.

I lifted my head from my knees. I opened my mouth but it only came out as a strangled sob. I eyed the knife that had fallen next to me.

"What? PLease say something! Spencer, please come out of there." He said, voice getting desperate as he banged on the door with his fist.

I slowly picked up the knife and examined it. If only he knew, I was doing this for him. Then, without a second thought, I ran the knife quickly over the bottom of my leg. Crying out in the process.

"Spencer? Spencer, what's going on in there?" he cried as he banged on the door harder.

"Please, just go." I said my voice clearly faltering.

"No. Come one Spence, you gotta talk to me. Open the door." He asked desperately as he jiggled the doorknob.

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts, is here and now
My universe, will never be the same
I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came

I ran a finger along one of my bleeding cuts and cried out at the fierce pain it actually stung.

"Spencer? That's it, I'm taking this door down!" he exclaimed. Soon the loud bangs on the door became loud, fierce body slams.

I didn't even have the strength to respond. I just let the tears and blood flow freely as my grip tightened on the knife as I just stared at it.

My knuckles began to ache as my relentless grip on the knife wouldn't give.

The banging on the door was now added with creaks of bolts coming loose on the door hinges. I didn't even look up, I just pricked the tiniest cut on my finger and squeezed it until it made a small blob on my finger.

Finally I hear a VERY loud bang and what sounds like bolts dropping to the ground as the door to the bathroom is broken into.

But, I barely hear it, my gaze fixed solely on the knife fixed tightly in my fists. I can hear a gasp and rummaging through scraps of wood as footsteps approach me.

I let out a choked sob as I lower the knife to my unmarked leg ready to slice until a hand grabs my wrist mid-swipe.

I look up, tears partially blurring my vision. I can see tears stinging his eyes as well, but I know he's holding them back for me. I try to snatch my hand away but his grip is firm on me.

"Spencer, what.." he trails off.

"Toby. Please, just leave." I whimper, my voice barely audible. He just looks at me with pure sadness.

"No." he starts his voice firm, before it falters. "Tell me, what's going on! Please." He said his voice breaking at the end.

That's when I just loose it and I immediately let out a loud sob and collapse into his chest. He just looks at me with sympathy and begins stroking my hair. "Shhhh." He whispers into my ear.

"I-I'm sorry, Toby. I just wanted it all to end! It's just too much, I can't take it! I thought, with me out of the picture, everyone else's lives would be better off. Especially yours. I know Jenna, wouldn't mind…." I trailed off as my voice began to break again.

You cast a spell on me, spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me
And I decided you look well on me, well on me
Let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me

"Spencer," he spoke softly. It made me want to melt.

"Screw Jenna." He had said. I look up at him with surprised, puffy eyes.

"Toby," I breathed in surprise.

"No. Screw the world, Spencer. Don't. I would be…lost, in this world without you." He said squeezing me tighter.

I got to look him in the eyes and searched them. We sat there in silence for a while. I found sadness, and anger, but it was buried beneath the worry and the pain in the seas of blue.

"Y-you don't know that." I finally spoke.

"But I do. You've kept me sane enough already. Without you, I don't know If I would be here right now." He said turning away from him.

"Toby." I whispered as I reached out to cup his cheek with my hand. I was surprised, however when it felt wet. It was then I noticed he was crying.

I wiped away his tears with my thumb. My bleeding wrists, my aching head, the text from A, none of it mattered. Right now, it was me and the lost boy I fell in love with.

"Why are you crying?" I asked softly as I wiped one more tear. He was trying to hide his sniffles.

"Because…I almost lost the only tie I had to this world." He said looking into my eyes. And it just melted my heart.

I threw my almost stopped, bleeding wrists around his neck and pulled him into the tightest hug I could muster.

"I-I was so afraid, when you wouldn't answer me, and you were crying and.."

"Shhh." I coaxed him. The rolls seemed reversed now, but now we'd be equal for having a breakdown, that we'd usually NEVER let happen, let alone do something as stupid as cutting or suicide.

"I'm here. All right? Please just stop worrying about me." I whispered the last part as a few tears escaped my eyes.

"Spencer." He said his voice firm as he loosened his grip on me to look me in the eyes. "Please. I'm begging you, tell me why you decided to do this." He said pleadingly, his fave looking so sad.

I didn't answer I just sniffled and looked away from him at the knife, thoughts filling my head.

I'm causing him so much pain right now. I need to end it.

So, I lunged for the knife that was just a few feet away from me. However, Toby had somehow read my thoughts and jumped for it as well, kicking it under the rubbles of the busted door.

"No!" I shouted as I uselessly tried to crawl towards the broken door. But Toby just grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in tight. I sat there and cried on his shoulder, his finger running gently through my hair.

"T-Toby," I spoke up.

"Yes?" he responded calmly.

"I-I did it because I thought it was best," he gave me a horrified look, and my gaze traveled downward.

"Best for everyone that I was gone. My parents wouldn't have to worry about a nuisance child, I won't be dragging my friends down, the town, could do without the drama including me and you….you'd be better off without me. I just get you in all sorts of trouble. With the police, your parents, Jenna.." I trailed off.

I looked up at him for a response and he was searching me. For something he couldn't find. All he did, was hug me tighter.

"Spencer, let me tell you something,"

I nodded my head.

"Your parents love you with all their hearts! Their just busy with work and Melissa's baby. You friend's would be lost souls wandering around Rosewood without you, and me…I couldn't live another day if you weren't part of my life. I love you spencer." He said kissing my head.

I looked up at him with puffy eyes. "Do you really mean that?"

He just smiled at me and kissed me passionately on the lips. We sat there for a minute just kissing, until he broke it. "Yes, I really do mean it. Now, let's get you cleaned up?"

I nodded and let him help me up as we made our way downstairs towards the first aid kit.

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts, is here and now
My universe, will never be the same
I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came

He sat me down on the couch and wrapped a blanket over my legs and told me to stay put. But I could see a smile tugging on his face. Which made me smile as well.

He came back with a large brown bottle, cotton balls, Neosporin, and bandage wrap.

He took the large bottle and poured some of it onto a pad and asked for my wrist. I hesitated to give it to him.

He smiled, "Come one, you're not gonna get any better if you don't fix it up?"

I gave him a small smile and slowly handed him my wrist

I'm glad you came.

"Ok, this is gonna sting a little. You ready?" I nodded. I've done this since I was like 6, and I would scrape my knees playing in the backyard.

He dabbed it on my wrist and I hissed out in pain.

"Ahhh!" I hissed biting my lip.

"Or it's gonna hurt a lot." He said smirking. I playfully whacked him with my free hand.

So Glad you came.

Once it had stopped bubbling, he wiped off the excess blood and put some Neosporin on it and wrapping it in the bandage,

Repeat the cycle on the other wrist.

Once we were finished, he apologized about the door saying he'd fix it later. I smiled and said no problem.

He made a bowl of popcorn and sat down next to me as I wrapped the blanket on both of us and snuggled into his chest.

He pressed the pay button on the DVD set to see what was in.

'The Notebook.' Was the DVD.

"The Notebook." He said emotionlessly. I looked at him nervously. Usually guys don'y like these kinds of movies, and this was my favorite movie.

"My favorite movie." He said smiling.

I playfully swatted him on the knee and resumed to lying on his chest.

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts, is here and now
My universe, will never be the same
I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came

"Toby?"

"Hmm?" he answers looking down at me while running his fingers through my hair.

I smiled. "I'm glad you came."

He just smiled and pecked my lips. "Me too."