AN: So this story, was actucally an assighment in my English Compostion class (oh the lovely college classes we have too endure) a short story asshignment, that I of course waited until the last minute too do. Luckily for me, I finished it in time too email it too her before the midnite deadline! This came from an idea that has been circling between mine and my best friends head since the end of the summer! So without her, there is no way it would have gotten done. I ship Bike, but Puck and Santana are my other favorite couple on Glee, and well Santana was the only one I could see in this role. :) Its long, but its a oneshot! After spending twenty-four hours straight on it, there was no way I had the energy too turn it into multiple chapters :) Enjoy! and thank you too my amazing best friend! Without you, I probably would have failed this assighment or sent in that crap I started Wednesday night. Ok! note over :) Enjoy and review!
The apartment was in utter chaos. For nine AM on a Saturday morning, the small two bedroom looked as though a tornado had ripped through and demolished everything that Santana Lopez had attempted too keep clean and organized on a daily basis. Two years ago, the mess would have without a doubt killed her OCD. Now the litter of tiny clothes, sippy cups, and Winnie the Pooh simply rolled off her back. Even the sand that was now surely ground into the carpet of the two-year-old's plush pink carpet didn't bother her. Sure it would take a lot more then the vacuum too get it out, but it was something Santana could let go and continue on with her normal morning routine of strong black coffee and pulling the little two year old blond out of bed by her toes.
For two years Santana had been 'mommy' or Tiggy as the blond curled blue eyed two year old called her. It hadn't been something she'd saw coming, she'd been in the fast track at John Jay for family law when her world had taken a sudden and abrupt change, the young Hispanic girl from Silverton, Ohio suddenly thrown into the shoes of raising an innocent little infant that had no say in her fate.
"Come on little Roo, time to get up"
If you'd asked anyone in Ana's hometown if they thought she would be a good mother one day, they all probably would have laughed in your face. She came from a family with more scandal then one of the royal families in Europe. Her mother Gabrielle had, had her at sixteen and been dead by the time she was eight. Her husband hiring his mistress too run her over with her car, just as she was walking Ana across the street too school, then taking out his frustrations on his daughter every night. Using her for a punching bag, just because she had her mother's same eyes and attitude.
"Noooo Tiggy, Sleepy time shh!"
Gabrielle Lopez hadn't been a horrible person, she'd been an excellent mother. She just hadn't had any luck with who she let knock her up, not like she planned it after all. Her parents being devote Catholics had kicked her out the moment she'd sat them down too tell them that she had a bundle of joy on the way. Her only option was too marry Peter; it was either that or give her daughter up for adoption. Something she wasn't willing to do.
"Child you are only two, it's too early to be addicted too this sleep. Get that little tush out of bed now."
"I needs my beauty sleep Tiggy!"
Gracie was the spitting image of her mother. Blond curls that were always in pigtails, and her mother's beautiful crystal blue eyes that everyone envied. Gracie wasn't like most toddlers her age though. She was an old soul, who had a personality that would confuse even the best child psychologists.
"Well unfortunately Tiggy needs to get too work and you need to go too Mrs. Chang's so that I can make us some money so we keep this nice warm apartment of ours. Unless you don't want those cookies of yours anymore, I don't mind staying home."
Living in New York was a dream come true for Ana, living in the East Village on the lower east side they'd defiantly been acquainted with a different style of living since they'd moved in two years prior. After losing her dorm for John Jay however she didn't have any other choice. With a newborn she needed a secure place to live; having a drag queen for a neighbor was a lot safer than having a wall street banker neighbor on the Upper East Side, who would have paid her too be his mistress. Yes, it would have made things easier and more secure but what kind of influence would it have been on Gracie? Even if she was an infant she was still impressionable and she'd promised Britt that she'd take good care of her.
After dropping Gracie off at Mrs. Chang's, Ana went too the same place that she went too every Wednesday morning before work. Wednesdays were the one day that she had the late shift, that didn't start till around noon which meant Ana could spend some time with Brittany, her best friend.
"How's our patient this morning?"
Ana asked as she walked into the familiar hospital room, that seemed more like a second home too her now. She always brought Gracie too see Britt on weekends but Wednesdays were the one day of the week she could have some alone time with her best friend. She could rant; sit in silence, or even cry. Something, which no one ever saw her do, but the hospital room had seen countless times.
"Her vitals are good, and she even walked a mile yesterday. Keeping those dancers legs toned for when she gets too make her Broadway debut. How's Gracie doing, we found her teddy bear by the way, it fell under the bed."
She'd become friends with everyone on the eighth floor of the comatose ward in New York Presbyterian Hospital, in the past two years. Each nurse had her number, and knew too call her in the middle of the night if even the slightest change in Britt's health occurred. They'd become a family too her, even going as far too throw little birthday parties for Gracie in Britt's room, a surprise too both her and Ana.
"Thank God, she was a mess last night with just her Rabbit. That'll brighten her mood when I pick her up later."
"Britt what's going on? You have me worried; last I heard you were doing well at the community college. How did you even get too New York in the first place?"
Ana wasn't even sure how the bubbly blond had even found her dorm, she'd lived in it for only six months and she still had trouble finding it and usually walked right past it if her brain was on something else when she was coming back from class or from picking up groceries.
"A bus, I had a little money saved up from my summer job. I made a mistake Tigger, and I don't know how...I didn't know who else to go too."
"Woah, Roo, what kind of mistake?"
Tigger and Roo, Winnie the Pooh had been their thing since they were young enough too comprehend the real messages behind Winnie the Pooh and his gang of friends. Ana had made the decision that they were Tigger and Roo, after seeing how much Tigger took care of Roo. Britt hadn't always been the brightest or fastest, an excellent dancer, but not much when it came too books. She was teased in elementary and middle school, because she was tall and blond. Ana was always the first one too defend her best friend, and put the idiot in his or her place. They were closer then best friends, they were sisters.
"Mike...he was back in town for a couple of days. He's down in Maryland for medicine, Mikey's gonna be a doctor can you believe it?"
The fear was completely evident in Britt's voice, something Ana had never really heard before. Only once, when her parents had decided to get a divorce, something that the tall blond had never really gotten over.
"He took me out to dinner...one thing led to another and...I'm pregnant."
They were out of high school for all of six months. Six months, and Britt was pregnant. It was no wonder she came to New York too find Ana, had anyone in Lima found out she would have been labeled trailer trash or become the town whore. Britt was many things, but she wasn't a whore. Her virginity had been something that she hadn't given up without a thought. Mike had been her first, circumstances with school and life had just kept them from staying together once Senior year started and college acceptance letters were mailed out.
"Roo..are you sure? Pregnant? Are you sure you're not just late? Sometimes, well you know how these things can get messed up sometimes."
Britt had never been more sure of anything in her life, pushing the small fuzzy imaged piece of paper in front of Ana, there was no doubting that Britt really was pregnant and it wasn't just a false alarm for the blond.
"I'm...fifteen weeks, and it's too late to do anything. I don't know what to do Tigger, I can't go home. I'll be the laughing stock of the town, and if Mike finds out...you know that he'll want to leave school too take care of us and I can't do that too him. He's worked too hard for that, and I'm scared Tigger. I don't know if I can do this alone."
"You're not going to have to do this alone Roo, you don't have to worry about it. You're going to stay here with me in New York, and we'll figure something out Roo. You don't have to worry about anything right now. It's all going to be ok, I promise."
"Ana? Ana? You feeling ok Hun?"
Of course she'd managed to find her way into a daydream again, she had a bad habit of doing that every time she was in the hospital room for too long especially when Gracie wasn't with her.
"Yea, just thinking. You know how dangerous that is for me."
"Alright, well if you need anything I'll be right down the hall. She's my only assignment today. Just let me know when you're leaving."
Sitting down in the familiar chair next to the blonds bed, Ana smiled and reached for her best friends hand immediately, freezing like it normally was. At first it'd been a shock to see her once warm and bubbly best friend so cold and still, now it was just a way of life for her.
"So I hear you walked a mile yesterday huh? Did you do a Julia Roberts in Pretty Women and show a little leg to get the physical therapist going again? Oh Britt Britt, don't you think its about time too wake up now? Gracie asks when you're going to come home to her every day; I still have your bed and all of your things. They're just waiting to be used again."
There was a reason why Ana could only spend a few hours at a time with Britt, hours only if she was lucky enough not to get emotional. It was really emotionally draining. It made Ana grow up a lot faster then she'd wanted too.
"You really need to start thinking about waking up Britt, Gracie misses you, I miss you. None of this is fair to her, I know you didn't mean too do it..but its not. She needs her Mommy, not a half-ass aunt who dropped out of college for her and works as a part-time manage at Barnes and Nobles. Come on Roo, just open those eyes. Open up those eyes for Gracie, I know you can do it. You just like being stubborn."
It was no use though, she had the same conversation with her week after week, and nothing ever changed.
"Make sure that the new Harry Potter merchandise is stacked up in size order, and if there's extras...put it in the storage room but leave in the boxes. Ignore the send back note on them. They never complain about not getting them back."
Seemed like every season a new fad in the literature world started, unluckily for her Harry Potters newest movie was this season. It wasn't so bad when it was Twilight...or even Nicholas Sparks, but Harry Potter had the worst followers who usually left the bookstore a total dump after midnight release parties or an author signing. It was enough stress too make Ana question why she even kept working at the popular chain book store.
"Excuse me do you have this in hardcover?"
Even worse than the erratic cult following, was the random Joe's who came in and asked just stupid questions. It wasn't even that they were stupid, it was more so that usually the answer was right in front of them and they were just asking too see if she'd go out on a date with them. That was never going to happen; so long as she had Gracie in her possession she was going to be man-free. Gracie needed something stable, not the craziness of a new man every week"
"Yea it's probably...Puck?"
The funny thing about life is sometimes it surprises you when you least expect it, for Ana that had been the past two years. Noah Puckerman, Ana's high school sweetheart and the boy she'd practically been with since she was six years old showing up, she didn't know how to take too that one too well.
"Surprise Tinkerbell, it took a lot to find you but here I am! Word of advice, if you're going to send my mother a Christmas, Birthday, etc., card, you might want to leave off your return address if you don't want people to find out where you are."
He was still the same smart ass that he'd been for as long as she could remember, funny thing about it thought was that she was still remotely attracted to it. She had only been in his presence for a couple of seconds but already she felt like she was sixteen again, flustered by the one boy who had always had her heart and had no problem throwing it in her face over and over again.
"Speechless? I know, I'm still as amazing look as I was the last summer we were together."
"Shut up Puck, I can see the freshmen fifteen treated you just perfectly. Clearly not being on the football team anymore had its negative side effects."
They'd always had a love hate relationship, it was what made them, them.
"How you doing Lopez? Mom was getting worried, and since I planning on moving out here anyway, she wanted me to keep an eye on you. Heard about John Jay."
"Yea, well they didn't have any scholarships for me and after the first year I realized that if I ever was going to be able to pay for it, I'd probably go into debt in the process. Besides, I have more important stuff too worry about right now. I'll go back one day, for right now, this is my life."
"I have a meeting with the Dean at Julliard...I hate to run out on you like this but do you think we could do dinner tonight? I know it's short notice, but I'd really like to see you, and it'd give Mom some peace of mind too know that I saw you for longer than ten minutes, I'll pick you up at a quarter too six...if your addresses is changed, just call and let me know before I wander into the village after dark."
"I hate doctors' offices...the one back home wasn't any better than this place"
Looking up from the woman's free clinic copy of 'Parenting' magazine, Ana rolled her eyes as she looked up at the blond sitting on the exam table. She'd heard the same rant about doctors' offices since they were old enough to comprehend what went on in them. From the young age of three, Britt was in total fear of doctors and all things related after a bad reaction to a shot and a doctor who could have cared less. Ana had always wound up being dragged with her too different appointments throughout the years, an ultra sound too find out the sex of Britt's baby was no different. Besides, she was a little excited to see if she was going to get a niece of nephew. Ana had been growing more and more use too the idea in the month that Britt had been there.
"Britt, calm down, you're not doing that baby of yours any good if you're a ball of nerves. For the sake of both our sanity's, calm down."
"So I hear we're in here for an ultra sound today, let's take a look shall we?"
The sudden appearance of a doctor, made the two girls just want to run even more. Doctors were just...neither one of them liked them, it was as simple as that. Before either one of them knew it, the lights were off and jelly was being put on Britt's stomach as the machines were all turned on. Before long a little picture started to appear on the screen that looked more like a sea monkey then it did an actual baby.
"Everything seems to be normal, no abnormalities. Morning sickness should be going away now, and you should be taking your prenatal vitamins daily. Its more critical now than ever, that your taking them. If you should run out for any reason, just stop in and they'll give you a refill"
It was the oddest thing that the two of them had ever seen, yet it all seemed too make perfect sense. The pregnancy hadn't taken true affect until they saw the little sea-monkey that was growing inside of her. It wasn't a fuzzy sonogram that you had too squint and be a rocket scientist too understand. It was a real baby, with a heartbeat and sex."
"It's a beautiful baby girl, although I think we need to talk about your blood pressure Britt."
"But...I don't wanna go back too Mrs. Chang's"
Ana was starting to regret not telling Puck she lived somewhere else or calling too cancel, when she'd given a very unlike Ana dumbfounded nod she hadn't even realized that she still had to worry about Gracie and where she'd be when they went out.
"I know you don't little Roo, but where else am I going to put you? I can't fold you up and put you in my pocketbook you know, you're a little too big for that."
"Santana Lopez, I hear your voice in there so don't play like you're not home. Open up Tink, come on."
Tink, her weakness. The childhood nickname he'd given her before her mother's death, mainly because she had a stubborn nature in her and always demanded too get what she wanted, if she didn't there was always a trick up her sleeve if she didn't. Child was very very mischievous, just like the fairy.
"Puck...come in"
She hadn't even thought of how she was going to play that one off, she figured she'd have Gracie down at Mrs. Chang's again before he got there. She had no intention of telling him about Gracie, not because she was ashamed but because she knew that it would be like opening a can of worms. A can of worms that she had no idea what would come out of.
"I hope I'm not too...who's that?"
Leave it too Gracie, sitting on top of the counter, hair in pigtails and a huge Brittany smile across her face. She would be the apple of any grandmother's eye!
"I is Gwacie! And I thwee! Who is you?"
Holding up three fingers proudly, she bravely got off of the counter and went straight for Puck. Growing up with Ana as her mother left her with most of Ana's mannerisms and only a few of her actual mothers. Her charm, quick wit, and attitude was without a doubt all Ana. Not to mention her lack of fear of new people.
"I...I'm Puck...and I'm twenty four"
"That's old, do you like Peter Rabbit? That's my Mommy's favorite book! Tiggy reads it took me every night, cause my Mommy's sleeeeeping. That's why I gots her Peter Rabbit and her Teddy! They sweep with me every night!"
Even though she had a trouble with her W's and usually added an extra random letter on to the end of all her words, she was a little girl who most parents would have gone crazy for had Ana let her be put up for adoption like the social worker had suggested.
"Little Roo go play in your room for a little, we need to have a grownup talk now."
Watching the little blond skip away, Ana's fake smiledropped as she watched Puck turn around to face her. How had she kept something like this away from him for so long? He'd always been good with children, clearly he would have been good with Gracie too.
"She's three...but she can be a handful sometimes, she's a sweetheart though. It's like having a mini-version of Britt around all the time.
"Can I ask what happened Tink?"
"Too be honest I don't even know...her blood pressure was a problem the entire pregnancy. Apparently, while she was pushing it caused a blood vessel too burst in her brain and before I knew it monitors were going off and I was being pushed out of the room."
"Can't you do anything for her, look at her, she can't do it anymore!"
Britt had been at it for hours now, she'd gone into labor the night before and had slowly dilated too ten centimeters. She'd been pushing however for what seemed like hours and nothing seemed to be happening. She'd never seen Britt so weak or broken in all her life, the worst part was not being able to help or do something to make it stop or just go away.
"She can't have any more pain medication, and in order to do a c-section we have to wait for an OR too open up. It's a full moon tonight miss, Babies are being born every five seconds around here."
"Tigger it hurts, I can't anymore"
"I know Roo, I know, just breath through it. It'll be over before you know it and you'll have that beautiful little girl in your arms."
"Gracie, after Nana"
That's when Ana's greatest fears were acknowledged, when all the monitors Britt was hooked up too started going off and beeping left and right. It was all one big blur as she was being pushed out of the hospital room faster then she'd been allowed in at any given time. It was hours before she knew anything.
"I promised Britt that I would take care of her, I wasn't about to tell you that in the book store but it's the truth. I gave up everything for her, not that many people know about her, and I'd really like to keep it that way Puck. If her parents or..."
"Or?"
"Or Mike found out...they'd do something to try and take her away from me. I promised Britt and I have every intention to keep that promise. When she came to me, she was scared out of her mind, and I wasn't about to send her away. She might have been the dumb blond too everyone else at our high school but to me she was and still is my best friend. That little girl is all I have left up, and I'm not giving that up for anything."
The silence between them was deafening as soon as Ana realized what was going on, she knew they were high school sweethearts and that she was probably signing her death sentence but it was all the truth. Puck had been the one person other than Britt that she wasn't able to keep secrets from, even one as big as Gracie."
"If you have a problem with that...I'm sorry, but it's my life now and I'm not changing it for you or anyone else."
She just needed him too know, if his silence was evidence of what was too come, he could save it. She wasn't going to listen to it; he might as well leave now."
"I was actually quiet because I was trying to figure out if there was a more kid friendly restaurant around here. You don't have to worry about me telling anyone Ana, your secrets safe with me. Don't you know me better then that by now Tink?"
She felt like a complete fool.
September slipped into October and October into November, yet again the holiday season was approaching them and the extremeness of the city's events were taking place and being rehearsed. Oddly enough since the night in September, Puck had stuck to his word. Not once had social services knocked on her door, or had Mike or Britt's parents suddenly shown up too claim what was theirs. A calm had grown over them, a new norm. Puck came over for dinner every other night, things were picking up at work, and Gracie had lost her fear of going too Mrs. Chang's every day.
"Tigggy"
"You're suppose too be in bed Miss. Gracie, what did I tell you about staying up late."
The child was impossible to say no too, all little Gracie had to do was flash her mother's smile and she got whatever she wanted.
"When are we going back to visit Mommy? We didn't go this week. I drew her a new picture for her wall and I want to give it to her!"
It was the second time Ana had missed taking Gracie too see Britt, she hadn't gone too visit on a Wednesday in quite a while either. With work and Puck, she'd honestly managed to forget about her best friend. Something she'd fought like hell too never do, something she'd promised that she'd never do.
"We're going to go Saturday morning, after breakfast. I promise Little Roo, but you need to get too bed or Saturday morning won't get here any faster."
"Is Puck going to come with us? He's not sleeping here tonight? Doesn't he always sleep here now?"
Ana had tried to put a line between Puck and Gracie, just in case their relationship didn't work, if that's even what they had. She'd read all the parenting books, that said if the child got attached and a breakup occurred it could shatter the child's views of relationships and scar them for life and into their own relationships. The majority of the parenting books were also a crock, Ana had learned two days after she'd brought Gracie home that Dr. Spock didn't have any idea about what he was talking about when it was two AM and Gracie wouldn't eat. It was Mrs. Chang, a seasoned mother and grandmother of her own who had helped her out when she was at her very breaking point. The fact that Puck had done more than slept over in the past weeks, left Ana stuck between a rock and a hard place.
"They can smell fear you know, you just have to take it slow my dear. If you don't, you won't get any sleep until she turns 18 and after that you really won't because you won't know where she is the majority of the time."
The old Korean women was more than a next door neighbor who brought Ana hot meals when her and Britt had been living from paycheck to paycheck. She'd been a shoulder too lean on when she had no one else too call at the hospital after Britt passed out.
"I don't know how I'm suppose too do this...she's so tiny. Britt was suppose too be here for all of this, she wasn't suppose too leave her. How am I supposed to raise a baby when I can barely afford to feed myself? I'm going to screw up at this...when the social worker asked me maybe I should have..."
"You take it one day at a time, don't try to be the mother who does it all and has it all. No mother can do that, only a Stepford wife can. When you need help, you come knock on my door and you'll have all the help you need. I raised two kids of my own, and I have my grandson, you're in good company. You're not the first mother too have these fears and you won't be the last."
"Noah...what do you think of Puck sweetie?"
"Your not sad when your with him, and and he likes to read me Peter Rabbit. I like Peter Rabbit alot, he said that was his favorite book too! I think we should keep him Tiggy, can we please?"
"Ok, now it's really bed time little Roo."
"Make sure you hold onto her hand the entire time, maybe you should just hold her? If anyone wants to take her on a float, don't. It's probably a scam or some child molester, just please don't lose her Puck... She's been looking forward to this for a while, and I'll kill you with my bare hands if something happens to her."
Thanksgiving normally wasn't anything huge for Ana and Gracie. Ana would get a small turkey with her extra holiday paycheck, buy a couple quick side dishes and they'd have Thanksgiving just the two of them. Gracie would wake her up early, they'd watch the parade together and then around four they'd eat dinner and watch a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, after they'd have some pie and normally Gracie was out by eight-thirty. It'd been her and Britt's tradition the Thanksgiving before Gracie was born and Ana had just carried it on.
There was one thing Gracie wanted though, for as long as she was able to comprehend what the parade was. They lived in New York, why not too go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? The answer was simple too Ana, New Yorkers didn't do that. Tourists and teenagers, who were willing to get up at four in the morning to find a good spot in the crowd did. It was just like the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting or New Years Eve in Times Square, they just didn't do it. Gracie however this year, had, had a plan under her tiny sleeves. She'd convinced Puck that going was exactly what they did every year, and how could you break tradition? More so how could you say no to her innocent face?
"She looked excited when she left, and you didn't look too hesitant yourself."
She'd invited Mrs. Chang over, just like she did ever year, most years she just came over for pie and spent the rest with her own children, this year however she'd agreed too Ana and Gracie's request and for once Ana wasn't dreading the day. It wouldn't be just her and Grace this year, there'd be two extra spots at the table.
"I've known Puck since I was six, if I can't trust him then there's no one else that I can trust. Besides they get along so well, Gracie adores him and things are better for us then they were in high school. There's no competition, it's just me and him. The way it should have been a long time ago."
"Does this mean I'm going too loose my favorite neighbor and preschooler?"
"No, goodness no. That's crazy talk, Puck's great and my feelings for him are huge but Gracie comes first. She has to come first, and I know Puck. He might like this life now but six months down the road he might be questioning why he's doing all of this."
"I think you're being silly, you said so yourself. You've known him since you were six, if he's as good as a guy as you say he is, and then you need to go with your heart on this. Yes, it might be too early to use the L word but you have a good thing with him. The two of you have some stability that you haven't had in years. Give it a chance sweetheart."
"I gotta say, I never expected to come too New York and find this Tink. You've really made a life for yourself out here haven't you?"
"It wasn't the life I'd intended on having, but yea, I guess I have. One day, when she's older, I'll go back to school for law, but for right now. She's my main priority."
Puck couldn't understand it, he could, but he was baffled watching her. She was a five foot four, snarly brunette whose glare in high school, could have killed anyone. Here she was two almost three years later with a life that she never would have thought acceptable back then. She'd changed all of her dreams for one little girl, who was for all intense of purposes an orphan.
"I had no intention of keeping her, but the social worker knew what she was doing. She brought me up to the big window in the hospital nursery...and I saw this little girl bundled up in a pink blanket and it was like looking at a mini-version of my best friend. I couldn't turn my back on her after I saw that, she looked at me. I don't care what the experts claim an infant's vision is, because I know she looked at me because our eyes stayed locked. I couldn't walk away then."
"Did you ever think about contacting Mike?"
"Once, right after her first birthday, she came down with pneumonia and it was bad. I don't know how she got it, but she managed. It was very touch and go for a while, I thought 'well if this is it, Mike deserves to know he had a daughter' but then the antibiotics kicked in and within the week she was coming home. That was when I found the job at Barnes and Nobles, trained for management, improved the conditions in the apartment. I really put her first then."
Not that she hadn't before of course; she had to grow out of being a teenager first though. She had too really realize what she had in front of her.
"No relationships?"
He questioned moving a little closer to her on the couch, his arm sneakily going around her. He was still Noah Puckerman, ladies man.
"Puck...no"
"Santana, look I get it I do..."
"I don't think you do Puck, I'll say it till I'm blue in the face. Gracie will always come first, I know I'm getting repetitive but I promised her mother that she would always come first. Always. That means you don't' come ahead of her, for once in your life, I'm putting you on the back burner. I can't get into a relationship with you if you just want one thing from me. This isn't high school anymore."
Puck knew the only way too shut Ana up when she was on one of her rants was doing one of the things he knew she couldn't resist. Leaning in, he pressed a simple kiss too her lips. They'd been each other's first kiss, no one else kisses were like hers. Deep down, they both knew that they were each other's soul mates.
"No, it's time to be grownups, and I want to be in her life. I want to help you Santana."
"I really do love him"
She hadn't admitted that out loud since she was fifteen, they'd both played games and hurt one another enough times where she was too scared of getting her heart broken again if she did. Now it felt more real though, realer then it'd been in high school. That's when the phone rang though.
"Where is she? Where's my daughter!"
Getting a call from the hospital was any parents worst nightmare, for Ana it was the worst thing that could possibly happen too her. It was letting down Britt for the millionth time! Thoughts raced through her head as she rushed down the pediatrics wing up the hospital, looking for any nurse or doctor who could tell her where her little girl was!
"Santana!"
"You! Where the hell is she! Where's Gracie, what did you do too her!"
"I didn't do anything...she fell...they took her away and I haven't seen her since."
She felt like the stupidest women on earth, how could she let Puck just take Gracie too the parade? Gracie barely knew him, Thanksgiving was too busy of a holiday, and she shouldn't have let them go it was as simple as that.
"Miss. Lopez? Are you Gracie's mother?"
If it hadn't been for the sudden emergence of a doctor, there was no doubt that Ana probably would have rung Puck's neck right then and there in the middle of the busy hallway.
"Yes, what happened to her? Where is she? When can I see her?"
"Gracie's just fine, she has a broken arm and some scratches but she's just fine I swear. The fall didn't do any major damage. She's going to need a cast, and I'll send you home with a prescription for some children's extra strength Tylenol but she's going to be just fine. We'll send her out with a nurse, just as soon as she's gotten her cast put on."
The only words Ana heard were 'she's just fine', she wasn't dead and she wasn't in a coma like her mother, but she'd gotten hurt. She'd left her in Puck's care and she'd gotten hurt, she'd gone against her better judgment and she'd gotten hurt. As soon as the doctor walked away, Ana's calm act went away quickly.
"You told me she'd be alright! That you wouldn't let anything happen too her!"
"Santana, I'm so sorry"
"No! I left her in your care for a couple of hours and this is what happens! A broken arm! I told you too hold onto her! I told you too watch her!"
"Santana, she's a little girl! They get hurt! I didn't mean for this to happen!"
That was all Santana needed to hear before her hand collided with the side of Puck's face. A loud slapping noise occurring as soon as contact was made. You don't mess with Mama Bear and her cubs!
"She's not just a little girl! She's MY little girl you son of a bitch!"
"No Santana, no! See that's where you're wrong! She's not your little girl, she's Brittany's! You can throw 'I promised her' in my face a million times if you want, but you know I'm right! Brittany carried her; Brittany knew the risks of having her! You really think she would have wanted you to do this! You've given up your entire life for her! You're not even living Santana! You're a shell of the girl I fell in love with when we were six! This taking Gracie in, wasn't for the best! You would have been better off letting her go into the system!"
The moment the majority of the words came out of his mouth, Noah instantly regretted saying them. He hadn't meant it all too come out the way it did, he was just fed up of her living in the past. Living like Britt was going to wake up at anytime, living a half life.
"Your a son of a bitch Noah Puckerman, you stay the hell away from us! You got that! You stay the hell away from me and my daughter!"
Just like the doctor had promised Gracie was sent home as soon as she got her cast put on, a pink cast. That was no surprise too Ana, pink was her favorite color after all. It was the worst Thanksgiving she'd ever had, and not one she wanted to relive either.
Gracie became Ana's main concern again, her entire world. She lessened up on her hours at work, and brought Gracie too see Britt more often. A part of her hurt though, the part of her that was Puck's and always had been Puck's. Even the apartment seemed empty without him, she didn't like sleeping alone anymore. A big part of her life was gone after Thanksgiving.
"Pucky didn't hurt me"
Gracie said randomly one morning in the middle of December, as Ana was getting her ready for Mrs. Chang's. She missed Puck, at three years old she wasn't use too people coming into her life and then disappearing without even saying goodbye.
"I was on his shoulders"
"Little Roo, you don't have to explain anything too me...what happened, happened. Bringing Peter too Mrs. Chang's with you?"
"But no! I was on his shoulders when someone bumped into him, he tried to catch me and he almost did! It wasn't his fault that I got an owie, it was the mean people's fault they didn't even say excuse me!"
Out of the mouth of babes, how could Ana really deny the small face that was looking up at her like she'd been the one too ruin their happy 'family'. Gracie knew better too lie, and Puck wasn't sneaky enough to go behind her back and find some way too convince Gracie that something different happened then actually did.
"I miss him, he didn't want me to get hurt Tiggy."
"So Britt, what do I do about that one? Your daughter is a piece of work sometimes I swear, you'd be so proud of her you really would be. She loves her cast and oddly enough she didn't cry very much when it came too how much her arm hurt. Just asked if she could sleep with me. There's no doubt that she's yours...or Mikes daughter."
Britt and Puck had always gotten along, the three of them had all been extremely close. The three amigos, that was later given a fourth when Mike came into their group. It was no surprise now too Ana, looking back that Gracie got along with him too.
"What do I do about Puck Britt? He was right...not about giving up Gracie, but that I'm not the person I use too be. I use too know who I was, and what I wanted. I didn't second guess everything I did and turn down everything and anything that would make me happy. I love him, I've always loved him. The things I said to him though, we were both clearly wrong...and when do I admit to being wrong?"
It was a rarity; she was right about that much.
"He's good with Gracie, like he was with you. She deserves someone other than me in her life that she can count on, she deserves a father figure in her life. I'm starting to sound endless about this. Maybe you were right about fate Britt? That everything that happens because it leads too something better."
Just a like a sign, that's when the monitors started to go off around her like they had two and a half years prior. Within the blink of an eye she was being pushed out Britt's hospital room and being told to stay out. Just like it had begun, it was ending. Britt had given her say in the whole situation, and as she always did. Ana listened.
Britt's funeral was exactly the way her life was, simple. It'd never dawned on Ana that Britt would never wake up, something in her brain just kept telling her that one day, even if it took years that she'd wake up. One day she'd wake up, and raise Gracie the way she'd always planned. The way she'd planned too her entire pregnancy.
She took Britt's going the way she did though, as a sign, regardless of how much it hurt. Gracie had to come first, but there were times where Ana did too. She deserved to have a little of her own life back, the life even Gracie could see that she needed.
Looking gown at the little hand that was attached too hers, Ana knelt down in front of Gracie with the best smile she could muster. She had no clue how she was suppose too be strong for such a little person who managed to realize even at three how much she'd just lost.
"How you holding up Little Roo? You ready to go home?"
For once the bubbly toddler, wasn't bubbly. Her crystal eyes were dull, and her normally buoyant blond curls hung almost flat. Like a depression had spread throughout her little body, even if she'd never really met Britt, she was still her mother and just like any child who lost their Mommy, she wasn't taking it very well.
"Mama's not coming with us is she?"
"No Little Roo, she's gonna stay here, but we're going to come visit her anytime that you want too. Remember what I told you last night? It's almost going to be like when she was in the hospital, except you'll look at a pretty stone we're going to buy for her, instead of her. She's going to be your guardian angel now, which means' no matter where you go or what you do, she'll always be on your shoulder watching out for you. Not many little girls get that lucky. I promise this isn't going to be like one of those fairy tales where the little girl is stuck with a mean step mother, you're going to get the fairy tale you deserves, the kind most little girls would kill too have."
Lucky, now that was a joke. How could Gracie possibly be that lucky when at the age of three she buried her mother? One day she would ask Ana what happened, and when she was really able to understand it she'd have to explain everything. It was Ana's job now though too make sure that she never blamed herself for it, that she knew how much her mother had loved her before she knew her, and fought for her from the first kick too her last breath.
"Some little girls get their fairy tales though"
She didn't want to hear his voice, she didn't want to believe that he actually would show up for her best friends funeral, but there he was. Picking Gracie up, she sighed and walked closer to him, last thing that Gracie needed today was too hearing fighting. She'd heard his voice in enough of her dream. On the day she had to bury her best friend, she wasn't entirely sure that she'd be able to handle it.
"Noah, not now. Not today please."
"I'm sorry Santana, I didn't get it. I didn't get it until I went too go visit Britt last week, I get why she's so important to you, I get why you gave up John Jay, and oddly enough I get why you live in the East Village. What I said about Gracie...was uncalled for, she isn't better off in an orphanage she's better off with you...what I said there was no excuse for. It was disgusting, and it took letting Britt go too make me realize it."
Very rarely did Puck truly admit to being wrong or how he felt, but when he did he usually left a huge impact on whoever he was talking too. That was thing about Puck, he never opened his heart up until there was no other choice. He was just like Santana and her unbreakable walls.
"She's all I have left of Britt, and I promised her, I promised her that no matter what happened I would take care of her Puck. I can't break that promise, especially now.
"You don't have too, because I want to be in the both of your lives Santana Lopez. I know how you feel about commitment, and I understand that. Trust me I do. I want to help you raise her though, you've always been it for me Santana Lopez, and a little girl in scary circumstances isn't going to change that."
They were the most honest words he'd ever spoken.
"I love you Santana, and I want it all with you. I don't want you to be alone anymore."
"Tigger?"
Britt was nearly eight months along and glowing. She'd taken too pregnancy, the way artists take too clay or paint. It was just natural for her.
"Hmm Roo?"
"If something were too happen to me...you'd take care of her for me right?"
That was the last thing Ana wanted to even think about, the pregnancy had gone smoothly, there was no reason to jinx herself.
"Roo, don't even joke like that."
"No, Tigger I'm serious. If something happens to me, you have to promise me now and I mean it Tigger. Promise me that you'll take care of her, that you won't let my parents or Mike get their hands on her."
"Rooo, come on."
"No! Tigger, I know it's a one in a million chance that something will happen, but I want the security of knowing that she'd be taken care of if something did happen too her. You're my best friend, and you've taken care of me all our lives. You're the only person that I would want to raise her. The only person I know who would raise her the right way. Promise me Tigger, just promise me."
"...I promise Roo, if God forbid something were too happen, I'll take good care of her for you. I pinky promise Roo."
"I love you too Puck"