AN: So, hi there...I don't like this story at all. I think it's one of the worst things I've written in a long time. But I'm posting it anyway because I told my friends I would, so...here it is.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and nobody!
It wasn't her fault. It was never her fault. It was always his fault. He was the one who caused her to speed off in a fit of rage that painful night. He was what had gotten her so flustered. He was the reason she wasn't paying attention to where she was going.
Alvin knew very well that's what she would have told him, had she had the chance to say it.
And for once, he agreed with her.
For the first time in his life, Alvin Seville hated himself.
He loathed himself.
The red-clad chipmunk lowered himself to the floor, taking a seat on it in a way that a small child might.
He did feel helpless, like a child. Worthless, like a pitiful little child.
Had this situation ended differently, he would feel just fine. He'd do the same thing again. He'd start another fight, another argument, throw petty insults ultimately resulting in a slap to the face or, on the rare occasion, a puncture wound to his ever-growing ego.
Those wounds healed.
But this time...the wound was on his heart.
And that would never heal.
He had heard so many times that losing the one you loved was the most painful thing that could ever happen to a person. More painful than any physical injury ever could be.
Now he knew it was true.
"Daddy?" A tiny voice arose from the doorway, and Alvin looked to see he and Brittany's two twin boys standing there, staring at him with big, watery blue eyes.
"They..um..wanted to..see you." Alvin glanced up to the figure standing between them to see his slightly younger brother, Simon. Simon had agreed to watch the kids while Alvin had a moment alone, as he was, while also devastated, the most calm and collected of the group at that moment.
Alvin tried to force a smile, for his children's sake.
He weakly opened his arms, and the two little boys came running, nearly knocking over their distraught father.
"Daddy, is...is Mommy going to be okay?" Alvin's eyes drifted to the doorway, seeking assistance, but his brother was gone, and the door had been softly shut behind him.
He was going to have to explain this on his own. While writhing in his own grief. While blaming himself. While trying to keep calm. While trying not to cry.
Alvin didn't like crying. Crying was for the weak. He certainly wasn't weak.
At least, not usually...
He didn't even notice the silent tears cascading down his cheeks.
"Don't cry, Daddy..." Alvin felt a tiny hand wipe away his tears, and if it weren't for his despair, he might have smiled.
Alvin looked up into the bright blue eyes and freckled face of the sweeter of his two sons(if only by a little bit), Al Jr. Al had always been a mama's boy. If he wasn't with his brother, he was glued to Brittany. His world revolved around his mother.
And now she was gone.
How was he going to tell them?
How could he destroy that crooked smile on that innocent little child's face?
"Daddy, you're crying even harder!" Alvin glanced over to his other son, Alvin Jr. His hair was mussed up, his cap was crooked, and he held a slightly annoyed, puzzled look on his face.
A.J. had always been closer to Alvin than to his mother. Still, though, he loved her in that way only a small child can. With all their heart. Every little bit.
Alvin scooped the two small boys into his arms and stood to his feet. He sat down on the nearby couch, setting them each on his sides.
"Daddy, stop acting so weird!" A.J. pouted, crossing his arms. "We just wanna know if Mommy is okay!"
Alvin glanced out the window. It was raining outside.
Just like it had been when she left.
The chipmunk clenched his eyes shut.
He didn't want to believe any of this himself, not much explain to his children that their mother was dead.
Brittany was dead.
Not just gone. But dead.
"Dadddyy!" The two little voices whined again.
"M-mommy isn't coming back..." Alvin winced as the words left his lips.
"W-what do you mean?" A.J. was the first to speak up. "B-but..."
"She's...dead."
He couldn't look at them. He couldn't stand to see the pain their faces must have held.
Instead, he looked down at the wedding ring on his finger.
He stared at it for what seemed like hours.
He thought about it. About everything. About Brittany.
Alvin Seville did not want anymore time to pass. He just wanted it to freeze. He didn't want to have to deal with her loss. He didn't want to have to deal with his family's grief. His children's grief.
He knew he was being selfish...but what else could Alvin Seville be? He had always been selfish.
But for once in his life, he knew he'd have to put two people before himself.
His children.
The two small boys reminded their father of their presence when they began to sob.
The chipmunk pulled them into his arms.
Alvin Seville stared out the window into the bleak, gray, cloudy sky.
Whatever the future may bring, he knew would have to face it. But he wouldn't be facing it alone.
Thanks for reading..