Lauren kissed Declan's forehead as she gently tucked his tiny, sleeping form into bed.
"Goodnight, mi Tesoro. I love you," she whispered to him as she gently ruffled his blonde hair.
"Night mama," he mumbled in reply, still very much asleep, his words bringing a brilliant smile to Lauren's face, and a touch of moisture to her eyes. There was absolutely nothing in the world she loved more than hearing Declan call her mama.
She stood silently and turned to leave her son's bedroom, only to nearly jump out of her skin, startled by the sight of a man watching them from the doorway. But then she realized who he was and relaxed immediately. Ian was home.
"You scared me," she breathed as she approached him, keeping her voice low so as not to wake Declan. She placed her hand on Ian's chest and breathed in his familiar scent, allowing his presence to calm her, "I wasn't expecting you home until tomorrow or I would have let him wait up for you," she told him, softly laying her cheek against his chest, "He missed his father."
Lauren expected him to draw her close to him and hold her, to tell her that he just had to hurry home because he missed them both so much, to kiss her and lead her down the hall to their bedroom. She expected him to, but he didn't. He was perfectly still, not reacting to her in any way, and as she looked up at his face above her, she found him completely focused on Declan. Aw, he had missed him almost as much as Dec missed his dad.
She smiled up at him, reaching her other hand to his cheek, and gently turning his gaze to meet hers, as she stood on her toes and said softly, "I've missed you too," before kissing him softly.
Again, she expected him to deepen the kiss, to breathe her in with the intensity and fervor she so desperately wanted to show him. She expected him to grab her up and whisk her away as fast as he could so they could have a proper reunion without fearing waking up their little boy. But he didn't. He didn't react at all, and as she drew back from him in confusion, her blood ran ice cold. Because as her eyes met his she knew it was all over. They were filled with pain, hatred, and betrayal, and she was sure in that moment that she was already dead. He knew, somehow he knew.
"Ian?" she couldn't believe this was happening, "Ian, what's wrong?"
He didn't respond, and she knew that meant this was going to be bad. He grabbed her wrist in his vice like grip and dragged her down the hall to their bedroom, holding onto her so tightly she knew there would be bruises later. If she lived long enough…
As they entered their room, he closed the door behind them, locked it, and released her wrist roughly.
"Ian, talk to me," she begged, hoping to God she was wrong. She couldn't bear for the hatred in his eyes to be turned on her. She was praying that this was something else, anything else, "What's going on?"
And what he said next sealed it, "Why don't you tell me, Emily?!"
Hearing that name, her name, spit at her like a curse, Lauren felt like she wanted to curl up and die. She wouldn't lie to him, not any more. She wouldn't deny this, even though she knew she ought to be fighting it with everything she had. She couldn't keep doing that to him.
Instead she sat down on the end of the bed, let her eyes drop to the floor as tears gathered steadily in them, and asked him simply, "How did you find out?"
That was clearly not what he expected. Ian had prepared himself for her fear, her anger, her lies and denials. He had prepared for her to fight him or try to run, or even try to kill him. He had prepared for her to lie through her teeth until she was blue in the face, and then try to distract him or charm her way out of things.
He had not even considered in any realm of possibility that she would look so sad, so resigned, or that she wouldn't deny anything.
"That's all you have to say to me?! After almost two years together, after over a year in my home, in my bed, after you agreed to marry me, after you agreed to raise my son as your own… That's all you have to say to me?! You have been lying to me, to Declan, to everyone, about everything, from the day we met, and all you have to say to me is 'How did you find out?'?! Are you kidding me?!" He roared, his voice growing louder and more vicious with each word.
"I'm so tired of the lies, Ian," she whispered, refusing to meet his eyes, refusing to see that anger and hatred he now bore her, "You know. Nothing I say or do will change that. So why keep hurting you by denying it?"
Again he was completely derailed. Why would she care if she hurt him? That was the job, wasn't it? Get in, manipulate him, seduce him, spy on him, betray him. He had trusted her with everything. He had trusted her with his only son. And she had betrayed him; she had never loved him. So why would she care if she hurt him now?
He tried to find a way to convey all of this, but she spoke first, her words so soft he nearly missed them, "I'm sorry, so sorry, mo chroi. If they realize you know, they'll raid the compound soon, to try and get to me. You need to take Declan and get out of Italy as fast as you can. They don't know about him. Get him out of the country, far away. Protect our boy."
"They don't know about Declan?" he asked her, his voice more subdued in his confusion. Was it possible she hadn't betrayed him as surely as he'd believed?
"No one knows about him, I swear on my life," she promised him, finally looking up into his eyes with her own glassy ones, "The things that they would do to him to get you to talk… I could never let that happen, never."
Her words were fierce and she meant every one. She loved Declan as if he were her own blood. And she would charge the gates of Hell to protect him if the need arose. Keeping a few of her colleagues at Interpol from discovering his parentage was the easiest choice she'd ever made in her life.
"You really love him, don't you?" Ian asked, trying not to let the tiny bit of hope take hold in his heart that she might love him too.
"My name may not be Lauren," she admitted, the tears now falling readily down her cheeks, "But I love our son, and I would never let them use him as a pawn. I would never let anyone hurt our boy."
And suddenly Ian was on his knees in front of her, his hands resting on her thighs as he gazed into her eyes, "Was any of it real?" he needed to know one way or the other. He had tears gathering in his own eyes, as he stared upon the face of the woman he loved and tried to make sense of the fact that she had never really existed at all.
"Not at first," she replied honestly, vowing never to lie to this man again, even if she only lived another hour, "I was given a job. They needed me to find Valhalla, and you were supposed to be one of his closest allies, someone who could get me a name and point me in the right direction. They tasked me with getting close to you, and at first, that's all it was for me, a job, a mission I had to complete."
He saw the shame and sadness in her as she told him this, but he couldn't find it in himself to care that it wasn't real then. That was almost two years ago now. He was caught up on those two little words that might change everything, "At first?"
"I was never supposed to fall in love with you," came her broken sob of a reply, "You were supposed to be a cold, heartless monster, a killer, and I was supposed to seduce you into sharing your secrets and then move on to the next target. You weren't supposed to be warm and loving and protective. You weren't supposed to be a father just trying to do right by his son. None of this was ever supposed to happen… I was never supposed to fall in love with you…"
And that was all he needed to know. He pushed up off the ground, taking her face firmly in his hands and kissed her like she was the only thing that mattered in his world.
When he finally pulled away, and they both recovered the ability to breathe, he said, "Tell me you love me, Emily. Tell me you still want to marry me, and live with me and Dec. Tell me it was real, and we can disappear tonight, and Interpol will never be the wiser."
For the first time since she heard him utter her birth name, she felt hope. "I love you, Ian. Always will."