Practice was just as brutal as always; a fall here and there, some scrapes and bruises, and a twisted ankle. He wasn't particularily enthused about that last part since that meant practice would be restricted to give him time to heal. That also meant that he would have to catch up once the restrictions were loosed. A twenty-four-year-old man who had been skating for years should not be doing this, and yet here he was, sitting on a metal bench in the locker room, foot rested in the lap of his coach and fiance, wincing at the ice being applied to his swollen ankle.
"No more Salchows for a little while, I think."
Great. Just as he had suspected. Yet another hindrance on his way to Four Continents. He couldn't tell if the disappointment was clear on his face as Viktor continued.
"You should be fine in a few days as long as you don't push yourself too far. But you really should be more careful. The Four Continents is only a month away, Yuri!"
"I know, I know..."
"I really am hoping this is the year you win Worlds. I do want to kiss the gold."
His soft, lyrical voice was slowly eating away at Yuri's patience for himself. He had been winning gold medals left and right this year with Viktor's help, but this slip-up could cost him Worlds. That thought pressured his already stressed mind further, and Viktor could see it for sure this time and stepped in.
"It's been a long day. Why don't we call it a day? You can head on home while I straighten things out here, okay?"
Yuri didn't want to head back alone, he wanted Viktor to be there right alongside him. Especially since St. Petersburg was still not quite friendly to him. But he relented and zipped up his training jacket, skate bag slung over his shoulder, heading out into the bitter winter cold.
The trek home wasn't particularly long, but to Yuri's apprehension-addled mind it was an eternity and a day away. He trudged on for what seemed hours, some Russian folk giving him threatening glares along the way, before their apartment came into view. He thanked God the journey was over and unlocked the door, slipping in and being greeted by a giant cluster of brown curly fur named Makkachin. He fondly petted him before moving to undress himself in the bathroom and switch into something loose and comfortable. He was then content to collapse on the bed and worship the blankets, offering his consciousness to the sleep god who granted him silent dreams in return.
...
"Yuuuuurriiiii~"
Any other day he would have giggled at the way Viktor drew out his name in that low, sultry tone. But this time he was simply not feeling it, preferring instead to stay silent and relish in the safety of the covers. He felt soft hands on his back what felt like only three seconds later and found himself involuntarily groaning as he pushed them away. Above him, he could practically feel Viktor frown.
"Yuri, what's wrong? You love after-practice fun."
"Not feeling it, Vitya. Sorry..." It felt so strange saying he was not interested in Viktor's body when for the past half of his life that's all he would think about. He had never turned him down before, and that only heightened the sense of worry.
"Oh, I see... Is something on your mind?"
"No."
"Anxious?"
"No."
A long, drawn-out sigh. "What am I going to do with you?"
Yuri stayed silent, prompting his fiance to say something unexpected. "Have you lost interest in me?"
Yuri jumped up faster than an instant later and faced him. "What? No! No, I haven't lost interest in you, Vitya! I don't know what's happening, I just don't feel it right now, that's all, I swear!"
Viktor offered him a halfhearted smile in response. "If you say so. I know you're stressed about something, though, so why don't you tell me?"
He could see the thought process written on his face as though it were a novel and quietly observed him draw up a blank. Yuri shrugged and relaxed in the pillows, staring helplessly back. That pitiful look on his features was all it took for Viktor to scoop the younger's tired body into his arms, an action he had not often done. Yuri quickly surrendered and hung limply in his arms, head against his chest and lost in thought.
"I know something is wrong, and whether you like it or not I'm going to find out what it is. And I know just how to do it."
With those words hanging in the suspenseful silence, Yuri was being dragged out of the bedroom and into their fairly large bathroom, where a hot bath was awaiting him. The lights were dimmed and candles lit, filling the air with a sweet cherry scent while providing what little light was in the room. It was meant to be used for something more lewd, but now it would be used to help unwind after a long day. Once stripped, Viktor eased him into the hot water and lightly kissed his forehead. Yuri stared as Viktor stepped in next, the bath's round shape and large size providing plenty of room for them to move around.
A wet hand was brought up to caress Yuri's cheek, and another to massage his scalp, right in the sweet spot he had discovered a while back. He could feel Yuri relax under the chaste touches and smiled warmly to both him and himself. He was dozing off already, he could tell, despite having already slept.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?"
A light sigh later, and he finally received the answer he was looking for.
"Nothing. Everything. Practice, I guess. And competition."
Viktor ushered him on with a small nod.
"I've been competing ever since I first saw you on television in your junior days, and yet I still get nervous whenever I make it to Nationals, and then from there on I am just a tight bundle of nerves until I mess up and ruin my chances of advancing. It was like that two years ago, and it's still like that now. Sure, I won silver at last year's Finals, but there was still someone better than me who took gold and advanced to Worlds. And then he won bronze there, while I'm here flubbing my jumps constantly during practice."
"Yuri-"
"And then practice is hell for me because I'm constantly being pushed around and ordered nonstop and criticized for my every mistake, it's almost as if you want me to fail. What little confidence I still have is being destroyed and I'm not even competing. And you just stand there, staring at me the whole time, like you're silently judging me."
"I didn't want you to think that-"
"Well what am I supposed to think, then? If I can't win gold at Worlds this year, then I'm nothing more than a burden, Vitya. And you don't deserve to be burdened."
Yuri wasn't crying, but he might as well have been with the look of desperation he had on his face as he looked up at Viktor, who could think of doing nothing more than staring. After all this time, he still thought this way? He thought he had been getting better since that incident at the Cup of China the year prior.
Yuri sighed again and relaxed into the water, into Viktor's welcoming embrace. After that he was left physically and mentally drained, and wanted nothing more than his approval so he could sleep knowing this wasn't a waste of time.
"I had no idea you thought that way..."
"Sorry, I shouldn't have gone off like that. You probably have your own problems that I'm just adding to."
"The only problem I have is you not telling me all that sooner. You need to let me know if I'm being too hard on you, Yuri! How am I supposed to help you if I don't know you're suffering?"
Huh. He hadn't thought of that before.
"Yuratchka, I'm not all-knowing. Heck, I'm not even as smart as you think I am. But you know what? I learn as I experience, and you will too. I am sure of it. But right now you need to know one thing."
"And what's that?"
"I love you. I always will. But next time, don't let me push you too far, okay?"
"Yeah...okay."
...
Later that night they retired to the bedroom, the candles put out and the bath drained. Yuri was so exhausted that he fell asleep right there on the bed, still wrapped up in his towel. Viktor joined him, although a bit more clothed, and drifted off to the sensation of Yuri subconsciously scooting closer and wrapping an arm around him, content. Viktor felt like he knew so much more about his little katsudon, and he only hoped that Yuri learned something as well.