"I am in deep shit," I mused to myself as I readjusted over the trapdoor to the tree house trying to catch my breath.
I heard the snake women hiss at me again, "Come down little demigod, come down and play."
"Oh I don't like playing its too dangerous. Hey how about this I challenge you to see who can speed run Lego Star Wars the fastest" I say while glancing around for an escape route or some kind of weapon. As I suspected my only weapon was a small beanbag chair.
After a minute of silence (I must have stumped it with my weirdest response to stress ever) the snake women… man I need to think up a name for her… how about Murial, yeah that's good, anyways Murial responded, " A yes finally a worthy challenger to my skills in Logo Star Wars in running fast I am truly honored what is the name off my challenger.
"Uhh…hairy balls, yes, yes my name is hairy balls." I snort with laughter as I wonder if she will buy it.
"Hairy Balls what an honorable name come down so we can run fast." I start prying at the wall of the tree house trying desperately thinking of a way to buy myself some time. I finally work one board loose and start yanking another.
"One second I have to unbaricade the trap door," I call back. I finally rip the board from the wall and leap into the bushes below. I start tearing through them and sprint across my neighbor's backyard. I dash across the street and hurdle over another person's low fence. I figure I should take a breather and think about exactly what just happened. One, she was about as fast as me jogging. Two, she was about as bright as a newly paved road. Three, she thought she was smart. I don't know what the hell just happened. 5. That's all I know. I think of an unfortunate plan, I have to rob my best friend.
I jog over to his house taking the most out of the way roads and alleys I can hoping I don't get followed. I finally reach his house hop the fence into the pristine backyard with daises and daffodils sprouting up all over his garden like weeds. I crawl under his back deck and grab his old bike when I hear John's lopsided gait above me. I resign myself to getting caught and I poke my head outside the doorway and see John's face looking unusually pale. "Oh fuck," he says with his face in his hands, "What attacked you?" I start to banter to help hide my anxiety. "What makes you think I got attacked genius?" John sighed, "Listen this isn't my first time doing this just grab me a bike the follow me, and no questions until we are out of the city."
We made it a whopping two minutes without getting attacked. We were biking across a busy intersection when I saw Murial waiting on the other side of the road I knew something even stranger was happening. She was standing in a crowd with a trident, and people walked past her like she was nothing. I dismount from the bike in the median and glance around the intersection to confirm my suspicion. John and I somehow failed to notice the snake-women at every corner, even behind us. John pulled over behind me and starts blabbering. "Shit, shit shit, shit, shit, this is bad this is really bad, this is Ba-ad"
I stared at him in confusion. "Ok this has been a rough day so I am going to inore the fact you just bahed like a sheep…"
"Goat Alex, fucking goat"
I plough on, "That's irrelevant we are surrounded you said you did this before so pull yourself together man." He takes a couple deep breaths and somehow pulls a Kendo staff out of his bag. "How?"
He says to most elegant sentence I ever heard. "Fucking magic." He hands me a small dagger and says "Remember they have range but you can grab their tridents and throw them off balance, and stay behind me." The light changed and he did the most courageous thing I ever saw. He charged across the road at Murial number two.