A/N:

Edit Jan. 28th, 2017

**Notice for Writing Challenge!**

This plot bunny is now officially up for adoption!

If you would like to continue or expand this story, please feel free to modify it to suit your taste. Just shoot me a message when you post because I would LOVE to read more of this universe too! You're also welcome to show this to other authors who might consider adopting.

Happy Lunar New Year!~

This is how their world works. Everyone follows the rule. No one ever questions it.

"He leans forward and gives the swordsman a tentative kiss... Fuck, this shit again." Sanji sighs under his breath as he re-reads the manuscript.

"Stop reading them out loud, idiot! I can't get the corner right if you keep moving!" Nami whacks him on the head and returns to painting his lips with the tiniest brush in her collection. It's a coat of gloss to make them perfectly soft for the kiss scene today.

"Another zosan fic? You guys sure are popular." Usopp snickers from behind his cards.

"It's always that or angsty torture for me." Sanji says unhappily, allowing Nami to tilt his head to apply blush. He's supposed to have "a furious blush on his pale ivory skin."

"That's what you get for acting tough in canon, bro. Luffy-bro is the super main character, so he can't help it. You and Zoro-bro on the other hand are super asking for it." Franky picks a card from Brook and discards a pair of fours.

"It's not their fault. They were born this way, thanks to Oda Sensei. Yohohoho... Sanji-san, Zoro-san, my heart aches for your suffering. I don't have a heart though. Yohohoho~" Brook laughs as he waits for Usopp to shuffle his own hand for the sixth time this round.

"At least there are no sex scenes today, only a bite on the bottom lip. I hope it doesn't fall off." Robin wonders out loud while putting in Zoro's contact lenses on the other side of the room. He has green eyes for the story today. Sanji shudders, causing Nami to miss a stroke while applying the highlighter.

"That's right, Zoro, hold back a little with the bite! I don't want to have to stitch Sanji up after every scene." Chopper frowns and looks up from his own copy of the manuscript.

"Tell the author. I'm just doing what it says in the story. It's not my fault the love cook's a wimp who gets hurt every time." Zoro yawns and leans back in his chair to sneak in a mini-nap before his makeup is done.

"Fuck you, shitty moss! Why don't you try being on the receiving end of this shit for once?!" Sanji stands up from his chair, toppling Nami's eye shadow palette to the floor.

"Huh? I've been on the receiving end tons of times. The fuck are you talking about?"

"There's a difference because you... you like it, you masochistic plant!"

"Then learn to like it yourself. It's not that hard," Zoro opens one eye at the blond, "or maybe it's too hard for you. My bad."

"What did you say?! Just watch me, grass head!" Sanji sits down with a huff. Zoro smirks to himself. Too easy.

"Sanji-kun, as payment for ruining my eye shadow palette, you're paying me 100 belis for every review you earn for the scene today. Do you understand?" Nami points a perfectly manicured finger at the blond's nose.

"O-of course, Nami-swan!~ I'm so sorry! Please take all my earnings from this scene to compensate for the trouble I caused you!" Sanji takes Nami's hand in his only to be whacked on the head with her other hand.

"Idiot." Zoro rolls his eyes and mutters. Robin chuckles at his frustration as she fixes his hair.

"Oi, everyone get in position! We're ready to publish!" Luffy yells from beyond the door.

This is how their world works. Every time a story gets published in the "real world", they act it out in the reader's mind. No one ever questions it.