AN: DISCLAIMER & COPYRIGHT. Do not Own anything.
MKAY Before I begin, I recently read something similar to this oneshot in a NCIS fan fic, but mine is quite different and I discovered the NCIS story after I wrote this so please understand there were no intentional similarities.
Anyways, I had NO idea what to title this, so Let me know if I should change it.
Let me know what you think!
Please Read,Review and Enjoy!
-Cassandra
"Cuddy, Please, I'm begging you here."
Cuddy snorted and looked up from a file on her desk.
"Okay House, IF I say yes…what do I get out of this?"
House drummed his fingers on his cane and bit the inside of his cheek, thinking hard.
"Okay, I refuse to do extra clinic duty. So the only other option is for me to go to the next three charity balls or whatever, make a speech, and wear a tie to all of them."
House nodded his decision final. He glared at his boss as she made a low whistle and bit her lip.
"Wow House, three Charity events, including speeches and ties? I'm impressed, you're willing to go through all that torture just to have me help you with this little…prank?" Cuddy asked amused.
House nodded and smirked.
"You see Cuddles dear, There are ongoing bets on us as we speak. More specifically, bets placed on how long it's going to take for us to realize how much we want each other, give into temptation and do the nasty. You with me so far?"
Cuddy nodded and crossed her arms over her chest, intrigued.
"So I went to Chase, who obviously started the entire thing, and offered him something in return for 70% of the money he earns once he wins the bet."
House walked to her office door and locked it, he closed the blinds and looked around the room before continuing.
"So what did you offer Chase, House?" Cuddy asked, leaning back and stretching her legs to rest on her desk.
"A phone call." House said simply, his bright blue eyes shining with mischief.
"Okay," Foreman said, interrupting his friends rambling. "So who wants to call him?"
He looked around the room at Cameron, Chase, Taub, Remy, Wilson and Kutner who all had shook their heads replying with a no.
"How about we draw straws?" Kutner offered.
The doctors nodded and smiled.
Chase drew the short straw, like he had planned to do and slowly dialed House's number.
House sat across from Cuddy, smirking.
"Oh God House, just wipe that smirk off your face before I do it for you!" Cuddy said without looking up from her computer.
"Oh you know you're excited." He replied twirling his cane around, his eyes dancing with excitement and anticipation.
"I can't believe I agreed to this, I have so much work to do and if the board hears about this they will have not only my ass but yours-"
She was cut off by House's cell ringing.
Their eyes locked and smiled formed across their faces.
"Show Time." House whispered, nodding at Cuddy.
"This had better be good." He said, answering the phone and putting it on speaker.
"Why? It's not uh…like you're uhm…" Chase stammered.
"Like I'm what wombat?" House said smirking to Cuddy.
"What I meant to say was that it's not like you're seeing anyone House." Gasps went around the room and everyone stared at Chase.
"Hmmm. Really Doctor Chase are you sure about that?" Cuddy bit back a giggle.
Chase gulped.
"Yes…uh no? I mean uh-"
House cut him off.
"So why are you calling me Chase?" He asked, sounding annoyed.
"Well myself and the team just wanted to inform you that the patient is stable and that she should be released by tomorrow and that-"
Chase stopped as he heard a growl on the other end of the phone. He looked around at his friends and shrugged.
"House?" He asked timidly.
"Why are we still on the phone wombat? If I heard correctly the patient is fine and I'm kind of in the middle of something so is there anything you need?"
"Uh, No it's just that Doctor Cuddy is no where to be found and we need her to sign off on some forums."
The doctors listened as House sighed deeply.
"Not my problem. Tootles."
The team and Wilson heard the phone click but were shocked when they head the sound of The Dean of Medicine's voice on the other end.
"What was that about babe?"
"Oh nothing important, our patient is stable. So where were we Cuddles?" House asked smirking.
"Right here." The room went silent when they heard the sound of their boss and their other boss making out.
Wilson coughed feeling awkward, Cameron bit her lip and squeezed Chase's hand, Taub was smirking and Remy and Foreman were silent but their eyes were wide.
Foreman moved his hand to end the call but was stopped by Chase's hand on his wrist. Chase picked up the phone and placed it on mute before he began talking.
"Don't you see? This is perfect! This is probably the only way we can determine if House and Cuddy are together, it's better than being a fly on the wall, and not ending this call will give us the results of the bet we started last year." He said excitedly and making big motions with his hands.
Everyone looked around at each other, and nodded. It was the only way after all.
Chase smirked knowingly and placed his phone back on speaker for the rest of his co workers to hear.
"Right there House, Don't stop!" Moans and heavy sighs were heard from the other line.
"Harder!" Cuddy moaned.
Cameron was trying to contain her laughter and everyone else occupying the room sat stunned into silence. Wilson's and Foreman's jaws were dropped and Remy sat on the couch fidgeting.
"You like it when I spank you, do ya?" They heard House ask.
Everyone began to laugh when they heard a hard SMACK! Come from the other line.
"Oh my god! House, Yes, Harder!"
Chase, Cameron, Foreman, Thirteen, Taub and Wilson all listened as House and Cuddy's breathing became faster and finally as they screamed together.
There was a heavy silence on the other line and Chase looked around the room smiling widely.
"Everyone pay up!" He said holding a baseball cap out to Taub.
"I can't believe it's actually true." Taub said pulling two hundreds from his wallet and throwing them into the cap.
"Well now we have proof, House and Cuddy are doing the nasty." Chase said smugly as Foreman placed a fifty into the cap.
"I didn't think Cuddy would be so…Loud." Cameron said stunned, but not placing any money into the cap because she had earlier bet that they were sleeping together by now.
Robert Chase smiled as the money in the cap began to grow. Foreman looked at Chase smirking.
"I'll pay you another hundred if you get on the phone and tell House he didn't hang up."
Cameron, Thirteen, Taub and Wilson all looked at each other and nodded.
"We're in too." They said at once, pulling out more money.
Chase pretended to debate his options and silently screamed in delight after realizing how much money he was making off of their little plan.
"You're on." He said picking up the phone and taking it off of mute.
"Er…House…You might wanna hang it up instead of put it on speaker next time." Chase said quickly and hung up, pretending to be afraid of House's reaction.
Foreman walked over to him and patted his back while placing the money in the cap.
"That took some balls, wombat. I didn't think you had it in you." Everyone nodded in agreement and threw their share of the money into the cap.
House smirked at Cuddy below him. Their original plan was to pretend to be having sex…but it was funny how pretending can turn into the real thing.
"Was it good for you?" He asked bending his head down to kiss her neck and traveling his way up to her ear, then along her jaw line and then finally up to her parted lips.
"Mhmmmmmmm." She moaned, glancing up at him through her dark lashes.
"You still have to go to the charity events you know." Cuddy said after nipping at House's shoulder lightly.
"Oh darn." He said, leaning down to kiss her again but was interrupted by Cuddy's office door slamming open to reveal a beaming Robert Chase with a baseball cap filled with money.
"Oh my god!" He yelled dropping the cap and money, but still standing in the middle of the room, staring at his two naked bosses.
"GET OUT!" House and Cuddy screamed at the same time, attempting to cover them selves. Chase ran out of the office blushing and leaving the money scattered on the floor.
Cuddy looked up at House's angry eyes and her body began to shake with laughter.
"Oh my god." Cuddy said through her laughs as she ran a hand through her hair.
House looked down at her with confusion and amusement in his eyes. She shook her head, her brown curls falling over her face.
"It's nothing. Just the irony of the...situation is humorous, that's all." She whispered, tracing the lines on House's face with her manicured finger. As her finger began to trace his lips, House opened his mouth and gently bit her, smirking.
"Let's do this again." House said softly as he moved a stray hair away from her face.
Cuddy grinned as she stood up and began redressing. She knew that his comment was House's way of telling her he was ready to start something with her.
"How about my place, tonight. Take out?"
House shook his head and glanced at the money on the ground, he picked up the stray bills and silently counted them.
"No, let's go to a restaurant, my treat." House said and kissed his boss on the cheek. "Buy yourself something easy to get out of." He threw a hundred dollar bill onto her desk and walked out of her office.
Cuddy touched her cheek and smiled, she grabbed her briefcase and stuffed some files into it. She grabbed her coat and walked up to her newest secretary, Bill.
"Hey Bill, I'm going to leave early. Be a doll and cancel my meetings for the rest of the day, reschedule them for tomorrow."
Bill looked up from filing his nails and whistled.
"Yes Ma'am. Oh Doctor Cuddy, now I'm curious. You have a hot date tonight?"
Cuddy grinned and nodded, fingering the button on her coat.
"Something like that."