Yusuke had always known Kurama to be calm, as if nothing in the world bothered him. You couldn't even know what he was thinking by looking into his eyes, he was so mysterious. He almost found it funny how different they were. He wore his emotions on his sleeves, but you had to dig to figure out Kurama's true feelings. It was useful in fights though, sometimes it freaks out your opponent. Why, Yusuke would never figure out.
More often than not he would find Kurama with his nose stuck in a book, had it been ten years prior he would have called him a nerd. But they were out of school and Yusuke was more mature than that, besides Kurama didn't look like a nerd. Even when Yusuke had mentioned it, Kurama had only spun it around associating the word with the American candy. At least he figured out the kitsune had a sense of humor, it was good to know. He seemed so serious all of the time.
He was also a momma's boy; he was so devoted to Shiori. Kurama had told Yusuke he stayed out of guilt, that it must have been hard for her to raise him. It would be hard to raise a child who thought he could do everything on his own, who thought you were inferior. But that was the mind of a Youko; that is until she selflessly made his pain her own. Shiori saved him from what could have been a nasty fall.
She was why they returned to the Ningenkai every few years, to check up on her and see how she was fairing. Yusuke liked the woman; she was so kind and made sure everyone else was fine before worrying about herself. When Kurama announced his relationship with Yusuke, she had been understanding. Shocked, any mother would be, but understanding none the less. Kurama's stepfather took longer to fully accept the fact and little Shuichi just took it in stride.
Yusuke had asked Kurama countless times if he ever planned on telling Shiori the truth, the whole truth. Of course Kurama would always say the same thing, seeming to think it made him forget for the meantime. Eventually, it was always eventually.
Life doesn't wait for eventually, it worries about the here and now. He just wished Kurama would have known that, before….before he lost his chance.
-
"Geeze, don't tell me we're out of eggs," Yusuke muttered. He was going to cook the dinner they'd take over to Kurama's family, after swearing the kitchen would survive. Fill the kitchen with smoke one time and suddenly you're a walking kitchen destroyer! "Hey Kurama do we…" Yusuke trailed off as he poked his head around the corner. Kurama's back was to him, but the hand holding the phone was shaking like a leaf.
"G-good-bye," Kurama said in almost a whisper before putting the phone down. Yusuke wasn't a mind reader, but he knew something was wrong. He almost jumped out of his skin when Kurama suddenly turned around, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Do we what Yusuke?" He questioned, trying to cover something up. Yusuke frowned, he didn't like the way Kurama's eyes shone with unshed tears.
"Nothing," Yusuke said. "What's wrong Kurama?"
"Nothing, but I'm afraid I'll be unable to attend dinner. There's something I must take care of and it requires my immediate attention." It wasn't so noticeable, but Kurama's voice was strained. He turned to get his coat, but was stopped by Yusuke. Why did Kurama always try to put on an act when something was wrong?
"Kurama, what's wrong?" Yusuke asked again, this time firmer. Kurama simply shook his head, trying to give him a convincing smile.
"It's nothing you need to worry about Yusuke." He tried to leave, but Yusuke simply grabbed his wrist. He was certainly persistent, but it wasn't something Kurama wanted to deal with right now. "Please Yusuke, I need to go."
"I'll let you go, after you've told me what's going on," Yusuke insisted. "Stop trying to carry the weight of the world for once."
"As I said, it's nothing you need to worry about." Yusuke simply groaned, loudly, but let go none the less.
"Look, I'll shut up about it, but can whatever it is wait until after dinner? I'm sure your family misses you, you know your mom looks forward to seeing you." Kurama tensed at Yusuke's words and turned his back to the Toushin.
"I was just informed by Shuichi that…she died." Kurama spoke as if her death didn't faze him, but Yusuke knew it must be killing him. What he didn't tell Yusuke was how she died, he couldn't seem to say it. It had been a gang initiation as far as the cops knew. One of them would act like their friend was greatly hurt and lead the victim over to their hide-out where the initiate would then kill the victim. Unfortunately, the victim had been Shiori.
Somehow anything Yusuke could say just didn't seem like enough, this pain was far greater than any mortal wound that could be dealt. Just as he took a step, Kurama's knees gave out. It seemed that all feeling had left him, leaving him cold and numb. In an instant Yusuke was at his side, wrapping his arms around him giving what comfort he could. The moment he let one tear slip, a whole river followed. Yusuke stayed with him, holding him, not caring how long they remained there.
Kurama regretted never telling her the truth, the whole truth. Now she would never know that he did love her, that she had changed his life. Regret was horrible, but he would have to live with it. In the end, all he really wanted to say was I'm sorry.
R.E.G.R.E.T.
Tijiya: Well, this was a random idea that I just ran with. Comments are always appreciated, I would love to know what you thought of this. Is there anything I can do to improve or is it fine or what? Ja!
Yu Yu Hakusho (c) Yoshihiro Togashi