Hello everyone! Sorry for the lack of updates and everything but I'm back at least temporarily, and with a new story! Underfell! Enjoy laughing at the misfortune of others! (namely Sans)

It was a normal day in Snowdin. Last night Sans had gotten around the usual amount of sleep, which was two hours due to some horrible nightmare. He then laid there on his bed until three a.m. before giving up and taking a walk. To the front door. He knew he was definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed but he was smart enough not to go out at that time, lest he be dusted like the 'crummy 1hp' monster he was.

After staring at the door for another hour he went back to bed and fell asleep just as he had to get up. This routine had been going on for nearly a month and his thoughts were nothing but constant internal screaming at this point. His younger brother Papyrus, or, 'Boss', as he liked to be referred to by Sans burst into his room and screamed at him to get up. This was also normal. Sans rose like the zombie he was and got dressed, descending the stairs to get breakfast. That's when he noticed…Papyrus was looking at him kinda funny. Sans looked him dead in the eye and spoke.

"what" Oh god he hadn't meant for it to sound so much like he was begging for his skull to be slammed into the wall, but, strangely, that's not what happened.

"WHY DO YOU LOOK AND SOUND LIKE ONE OF ALPHYS' GUINEA PIGS?" Oh. So he was genuinely curious. Why was this making Sans more angry than usual? Was it the fact that it sounded like he didn't really give a shit? He never gave a shit though. Maybe Sans just needed to blow off steam…but he never even had a chance to do that.

"i just didn't sleep well." Yeah, it wasn't the best response, but what the hell else was he supposed to say?

"OH! IS THAT IT?! YOU SEEM TO SLEEP PERFECTLY FINE DURING THE DAY, WHY CAN'T YOU SLEEP DURING THE NIGHT?!" Shit. He wanted an answer. He had that 'I'm sick of your shit' face and his arms crossed. If he had a cat he'd be stroking it evilly right now, Sans just knew it…fucking cats…

"have you ever heard of insomnia? 'Boss?'" Sans instantly regretted everything he had ever done in his life up to this point. He had no idea why he was so sassy today but he cursed himself for it, and as his soul was turned blue he braced himself for what he knew was coming.

"DON'T." Sans was slammed into the ceiling.

"…YOU." The wall was next and the smaller skeleton began to grind his teeth.

"…EVER." Then, of course, the floor. Sans laid there motionless as his brother planted one of his pointy, fashionable boots onto his ribcage and the short skeleton cringed as his brother's voice grew both in intensity and volume.

"…TALK LIKE THAT TO YOUR SUPERIOR. IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, YOU'D BE DEAD AND YOU KNOW IT. YOU ARE A USELESS BAG OF GARBAGE AND YOU NEVER SHOW ME THE RESPECT I'VE EARNED FROM YOU COUNTLESS TIMES OVER." The boot dug more into Sans' ribcage and he gasped, trying to push the boot away without much success.

At this point, however, to Sans' relief, Papyrus decided he'd had enough. The pressure was released on the smaller skeleton's ribcage, and he lurched forward, sitting up and rubbing his chest. Looking up at his brother, he saw that his expression was full of hatred and…disappointment. It may have affected him in the past, but at this point Sans was so sick of everything that he just stared back blankly, no emotion evident.

"IF YOU WEREN'T MY BROTHER YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD LONG AGO, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT." It was barely a whisper. Unusual for the Great and Terrible Papyrus, but that was because he only used that tone when he was truly angry. He whipped around and began walking towards the door, rather calmly considering what had just happened.

"AND BY THE WAY, BECAUSE OF THAT STUNT YOU PULLED YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT BREAKFAST. IF I DON'T SEE YOU AT YOUR STATION IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD." The door slammed behind the co-captain of the royal guard.

Well, if Papyrus thought that the 'no breakfast thing' did something to him that was fine, although it really didn't. Everything Sans ate made him feel sick at this point, so his diet was pretty much a few mustard packets a day. It wasn't much, but it kept him alive and that was fine. He'd still go to Chillby's, but just to stare at the counter for about half an hour so that his brother didn't get suspicious. Sans chuckled at the thought of his brother finding out about his newish habits. What would he even do? He suspected he wouldn't really care. Nobody cares for anyone else in the underground, and he figured the relationship between the two of them was no exception.

Sans stood and made his way out the door before locking it and heading to his station. He was in no rush at all of course. He didn't really care what happened to him anymore. Hey, maybe he'd show his bro some of his magic so he'd back off on that 'useless trashbag' shit. Sans knew for a fact that magically, he was far more powerful than anyone he knew. Of course, he couldn't keep up his attacks for very long, but his strategy was just throwing everything at the threat until it went away…at least that's what he would do if anyone dared to challenge him.

Nobody did because of Papyrus, but that was fine according to Sans. He was perfectly okay with hiding behind his brother. Was he taking advantage of him? Yes, and perhaps that did give his brother a good reason to hate him. Sans, however, was done trying to impress at this point. Despite the collar he wore he was no dog. He was lazy by nature, and trying to impress someone like his 'boss' would take far too much work, he ultimately decided.

Sans moved just slow enough to arrive at his station two seconds before the ten minute mark, and he sat down. He didn't have to wait long to see his brother walking towards him. It seemed, however, that Papyrus was done talking to Sans that morning. All he said before he walked away was, "DON'T FALL ASLEEP," in a voice more threatening than usual.

Well, Sans had at least an hour before his brother would be back to check on him, so he decided to talk to that weird old lady in the ruins. She was very clearly bat-shit crazy but for his own good he knew he should talk to someone, even if it was just in the form of jokes, to let off some steam.

He walked to the bridge and noticed something in front of the door…wait…what? The lady never left anything…forgetting his common sense Sans found himself running to the door and stopped before the object. It was…a pie?

Sans lifted the pastry up and examined it much like a jeweler examines a diamond. What was this? Nobody had done anything like this for him before…maybe it wasn't for him? No…he's the only one that ever came here. And the pie…it was still warm, as if the lady memorized Sans' daily routine just so that she could give him this…this masterpiece…

Sans felt his eyes start to water as he stared deeply into the pie's perfect crust…and the smell…GOD that smelled good…then he realized he was crying. Over a pie. The hell had gotten into him?!

He desperately shook the tears out of his sockets and returned his gaze to the pie. Then, unsurprisingly, his common sense came in to ruin everything. He figured the pie was probably poisoned with…well…something. But then again, why would the lady poison him? They both enjoyed each other's company so much…

Then a though came to Sans. What would Papyrus do? He thought of the lecture he would receive and his eyes went half-lidded.

"SANS! YOU MORON! DO NOT EAT THAT! YOU SHOULD KNOW IT'S POISONED YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!"

Sans took a bite of the pie with a fork that had been next to the pastry.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! SPIT THAT OUT! IF YOU FALL DOWN FROM THIS I AM NOT REVIVING YOU!"

He took another bite.

"YOU IGNORANT FOOL! STOP EATING THAT! I AM ASHAMED TO CALL YOU MY BROTHER!"

At this point Sans actually started chuckling at the thought of his brother angrily yelling at him from inside of his mind. Then, he laughed. He laughed like someone one would expect to see in a mental hospital, and it wasn't because of the pie. Sans had lost his damn mind. Before he knew it he dropped the pie tin, now empty, on the ground, and walked back to his sentry station. Despite everything, this had been the best day of his life! Was this…happiness? Sans didn't know what happiness felt like but was pretty sure this wasn't it. He looked at his hand…hands? Why did he have four hands all of the sudden?

Then he realized…

"oh. the pie was drugged. great," Sans angrily muttered to himself as the word around him faded to black.

So, yeah. This was the angst chapter. The humor WILL show up but! Ya gotta make the dang prologue explain everything amiright? WELL! Shit is gonna hit the fan next chapter, so stay tuned!

P.S. Yes, Sans is high af