My first Hetalia fanfic. And it's angsty.
I'm not even that happy how what this turned out. Way worse than I wanted.
But at least it's got a happy ending!
Mainly Romano pov, but has a short Spain pov in the middle.
Romano pov.
No, this wasn't supposed to happen. It was me, I was the one who invited you over. I was the one who spent weeks collecting their courage to walk up to the phone and dial the number I had memorized over years. I was the one who spent hours to make the perfect dinner. I was the one who wanted to see you walk through the door with that big goofy smile adoring your face. So why? Why was Feliciano the one to answer the door and receive a passionate hug from you? And why did you look so happy to have the northern Italy's arms around you? Stupid idiot, don't flash that happy smile to everyone so easily! Don't look at Feliciano with those emerald eyes, look at me! I'm right here! Look, I made food, compliment me! It's not my brother who should be hearing about how good the food smells.
"Oh Romano, there you are!", of course I'm here, I wouldn't be anywhere else when you are here. I'm not surprised that you called me by the same name everyone else uses, you dropped the nickname 'Lovi' right after I left your house. I guess that was when you finally realized that I don't wish to be called that. Even thought that's not true. You always say it like a lover would. I can't control my reactions and end up yelling and throwing things at you every time that name leaves your lips. It's my natural way to cover up being embarrassed.
"… Stupid idiot", I manage to spit out as a response. Why is there always a glint of sadness in your eyes when I call you names these days? There never was before, or was there? Did I ever look at you in the eyes before? Don't smile like that, it practically screams fake. Of course my brother doesn't notice a thing. He never does. Hey, wait! Where are you going? Oh, the dining room… Didn't you forget something? Hey, idiot, where's my hug? You always hug me, even thought I always throw a fit over it. Have you finally given up? No, don't do that, you can't give up, I don't want you to! Your arms belong around me and only me! Just do it once more, please! I promise I won't push you away! Now you're looking at me again, did you say something? You look like you're waiting for something.
"… What?"
"I want Romano to sit next to me", you giggle and I hear you adding something about me being cute between the throbbing of my heart in my ears. You pat the seat and smile like you just tasted the most delicious tomato on earth. I want to dash to the seat as fast as I can, but my body moves slowly. When I reach my seat, Feliciano is already filling your plate. I should be doing that, since I made the pasta you're eyeing eagerly. Feliciano doesn't even know much you always eat, the portion he gave you is way too small, but of course you don't complain, you just thank him and sniff the plate with a bliss written all over your face. Antonio you idiot. You place the fork with food in your mouth and for a moment your eyes flutter shut. A gentle smile lights your face and your eyes open to look at me. "Romano, this is amazing!", you exclaim and I'm happy. I'm so happy Antonio, you make me so happy and I want to shout it to the world, but the only thing that comes out from my mouth is a small growl.
"Of course it is!" because I made it for you.
"I wouldn't expect anything else from my Lov-", you freeze. Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm not screaming at you, right? I haven't grabbed the nearest hard object and aimed it at you. See? There's no need to look like you just committed a sin or something. Don't fucking apologize! You turn to face my brother again. Am I being brushed aside to make room for North again? I feel my heart beating again, but this time it feels painful. You start a conversation with Feliciano again, leaving me to eat in silence. I can't hear a thing you say, I'm too busy trying to remember when you started being so cautious around me. The next time I look up I see you two holding hands over the table. You smile again and let out a hearty laugh, you seem truly happy.
"-let's get married", I hear something shatter, I'm not sure which it was, a plate or my heart, but suddenly I'm standing and shouting things worse than what I've ever said to that German bastard. And this time they're directed at my brother.
Spain pov.
"And when Ludwig came home he found me cooking in the kitchen. At first he looked pretty terrified at how messy the room was, but as soon as he saw what I was making he got really excited, even thought he really didn't let is show. He's so cute sometimes, like when he's really happy about something but doesn't know how to express it!" sounds like somebody other I know, I smiled happily at Feli while he went on and on about how Germany had stuffed his face with the food his little lover had made. Feliciano looked so happy when he talked about the man, who wouldn't smile at that? He was glad the boy had found someone he cared about.
"And then I was like, let's get married", I let out a laugh at how blunt the boy could be. I could only imagine Germany's face when he suddenly got asked that in the middle of dinner. My laugh is cut short when a plate shatters to the floor and Lovi -I mean Romano- glares at his brother with disgust. Then he opens his mouth and starts yelling things that I never want to repeat or hear again. "Romano, what's wrong?" I try to calm him down, surely he's not this affected because of what Feli just told me. Yes, he hated the German, but Romano had learned to accept his brother's and Ludwig's relationship months ago. At least by what I've heard.
He turns to look at me and bites his lower lip like he's about to cry. Why? Lovi, what's wrong?
Romano pov.
I manage to shut my mouth temporarily when I hear you speak. My Antonio, MINE. There's no fucking chance that I'd let Feliciano steal away something that's mine. I stare at you and you look confused. Of course you wouldn't know. I turn to look at the person across the table.
"Stop taking everyone away from me!" I scream at him and see him backing with his chair a little. Good, the little fuck get's what he deserves for once. "You've already charmed everyone else, why do you want him too? Don't take away the last person that could love me!" I pant and feel my knees getting weak. A light touch on my shoulder makes me look at the tan man next to me.
"You're supposed to love me", I manage to gasp out. I feel hot tears rolling down my cheeks. By the startled expression on your handsome face you noticed them too. For once Feliciano is dead silent. I can't turn my eyes away from yours to look at my brother, who's most likely as pale as a sheet now.
"Roma-", I interrupt what you're about to say, when I feel the tears increase and I reach to fist my hands in your white shirt.
"Don't call me that you bastard! You fucking idiot!" I pull you towards me and smash our lips painfully together. I taste blood when I pull back and lick my lips, but I feel no pain, so it must be your lip that got cut. I lean in a bit, dragging my cheek against yours as I whisper to your ear my deepest thoughts.
"My name is Lovino, I'm your little Lovi remember?" I choke out. "You always watched me, making sure nothing happened to me. You must take the responsibility now, I'll break if your eyes are on someone else." I feel hands being wrapped gently around me. "I'll fall off a cliff, cross a road when red lights are on or loose my footing and fall from a window", fingers are massaging shooting circles on my back.
"I'll slip and hit my head to something sharp, I'll fall asleep in a bathtub and drown, I'll do it all if you're not there to take care of me. A single glance at someone else could be fatal for me", I've pretty much slid to my knees now and have my face buried to your shirt while I keep mumbling ways to take away my own life if you leave me.
"Shh, my sweet Lovi, I could never leave you", you whisper shooting things to me as you carefully comb your fingers through my hair. I hear you exchange few hushed words with somebody, Feliciano of course, there's no others in the building. I instantly tighten my grip on your shirt and you notice it, because in a second I feel your warm breath on my ear again and your voice carrying all those sweet words that slowly help me calm down. They only stop when you place a few soft kisses on my head.
I woke up to the feeling of something wrapped around me. When did I fall asleep? Last thing I remember is you wiping my last tears away with your thumbs and smiling down at me with pure love. Warm breath tickles my face and as I open my eyes the first thing I see is slightly tanned skin. Turning my head a bit I realize that my face is tucked to the crook of your neck. I'm laying on you with your arms loosely around my back and my legs are between yours. I lift my head and notice that we're in our living room, currently on the couch. Speaking about us, where is my brother? At least not in this room. I wonder if he's crying his eyes out somewhere. For once, I don't care. I feel the body under me shift and I look down to your bright green eyes that are still somewhat clouded by sleep.
"Bastard… You'll have a sore back for sleeping here", I groan and curse myself in my mind. This is why I'm having hard time believing that you like me at all; I always say mean things. I'm surprised when I feel the rumble against my chest before I hear the chuckle.
"I'm sorry Lovi, but I didn't want to wake you up, so I chose the closest place where I could lay down", Lovi, you called me Lovi. You smile a bit sadly as my eyes start to water again. You mumble something is Spanish, but it's too quiet for me to hear.
"I love you Lovi, never again start doubting that, okay?" I nod my head. I wont, I really wont… I'll try. I shut my eyes when you press your lips to my forehead. Your lips travel down to the tip of my nose, my eyelids and cheeks, my name is being whispered between every kiss until you reach my lips and I press mine against yours.
"Shut up", I growl and you giggle and kiss me again. I feel you try to part my lips and I open my mouth without a second thought. I love you Antonio, I love you so much, please wait just a while longer for me to say it.
"Tonio?"
"Hmm?"
"Where did Feliciano go?"
"Oh, he's at Ludwig's house. He'll stay there for a while. After all, they have a wedding to plan!"
"….. WHAT?"