Okay, this just smacked me in the face the other day and it seemed so fun, I just had to write it down. Hope you like it ^^
Italics is Hichigo speaking, regular is Ichigo.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or it's characters.
Hichigo's Coffee
Ichigo stood at the edge of the crater in the ground. Memories of the fight a few days ago blurred through his head like nightmares he couldn't dispel even after he was awake. And through them all, a sadistic voice echoed through his head, torturing him at every step…
Ichigoooo~
Go away. I don't wanna deal with you right now.
Aww. You're no fun. I just wanna talk.
I said get lost.
Nope.
…
Hey partner, I wanna tell ya something.
…What?
I found something cool in here.
…
You'll never guess what it is.
Why am I talking to you?
It's a coffee machine.
…A what?
Coooooffeeeee. Don't you know what that is? I thought you at least had some brains, king.
Why are you telling me this?
I drank some. A lot.
Is there a point in here somewhere?
I really like coffee, king.
…So?
It does something strange, though. I have soooo much energy now.
That's usually why people drink coffee.
How am I supposed to know that? I'm only…about 5 months old. I'm a likkle baby.
Stop acting like that.
Hey king.
What?
I found a fork!
…And?
I made a slinky!
…Out of the fork.
Yesss!
…You're lying.
No I'm not! It goes really far! Sliiiiiiiink~ Sliiiiiiiiiink~
You really are insane.
No I'm not. You just don't know how to have fun.
Sane people don't find ways to make a fork into a slinky.
Is that so? I thought that was fairly normal.
You're hardly normal.
I'm more normal than you.
…
…Sliiiiiiiiink~
You're starting to freak me out. No, never mind. You freaked me out the second you came into existence.
…
…Hello?
…King hurted my feelings.
Oh, do NOT give me that cra-
Sliiiiiiiiiiiiiink~
Okay. That's it. I need to find a way to control you.
…
You did not just stick your tongue out at me. Your blue, disgusting tongue.
…King hurted my feelings again. My tongue is pretty.
That's quite possibly the weirdest thing I've ever heard you say.
Do you like coffee, king?
…I guess so.
Well too bad. I ain't givin' you any. It's all mine~
I don't want any.
Yeah, you probably do. You're soooo jealous of my delicious coffee~
I can walk into any café nearby and get as much coffee as I want. I don't need your stinkin' hollow coffee.
It doesn't stink. It's delicious~
…
*slurp*
…
King.
…What?
I got a problem.
I'll say.
No, I mean a real big problem. Right now.
…
I'm out of coffee.
And I care why?
I need coffee, partner…I want it real bad…
I didn't know hollows could get a caffeine addiction.
Add-ik-chun? What's that?
It means you have to keep drinking coffee forever or else you go through withdrawal.
What's withdrauel?
You curl up in a fetal position and want to die until you get coffee or your addiction goes away. That takes awhile though.
I don't wanna do withdrauel! Get me some coffee, king!
No.
NOW!!
…
Don't ignore me! I need coffee now! Drink some!
If you think I'm gonna do anything to ease your pain, you're crazier than I thought.
*whimper*
Did you just whimper?
Cooo-ffeeee.
That's it. I'm going to the vizard. I need you out of my head, you nutcase.
Nu-uh! I'm gonna stay in your head forever and give you nightmares! And make you drink coffee all the time! Hahaha!
…