Title: Revolution From Dissolution
Pairing: Gail Peck/Holly Stewart
Rating: K
Word Count: 1k
Disclaimer: None of the Rookie Blue characters belong to me; I'm just borrowing them for a bit until the show comes back.
Summary: [Post 5x01 drabble] – She tentatively lifts her hand up to the back of her head, her muscle-memory expecting to come into contact with long, soft, silky blonde tresses, and instead grazing through freshly cropped, short edges. It makes a breath lodge momentarily in her throat as her brain catches up with her eyes, remembering.
"I'd spent so long trying to fit in, trying to be someone I wasn't, that I had no idea who I was any more." ― Dorothy Koomson, The Rose Petal Beach.
Gail presses her palms against the rim of the sink and uses it to hold her weight as she leans forward to get a better look. She narrows her eyes at the image reflected back at her. It's the same face she's been staring at for years; same mouth, same nose, same cool blue eyes, and yet it feels like she's seeing herself for the first time all over again.
She tentatively lifts her hand up to the back of her head, her muscle-memory expecting to come into contact with long, soft, silky blonde tresses, and instead grazing through freshly cropped, short edges. It makes a breath lodge momentarily in her throat as her brain catches up with her eyes, remembering.
Holly's bathroom and Holly's scissors, and her long ponytail clutched tightly in her hands as she regarded each haunted inch with exhausted disdain. Holly's hands soothing through what was left of her impulsively hacked hair, and Holly helping her put it all to right the best way she knew how; with her warm eyes and her gentle touch, and her earnest reassurance that had culminated in soft lips and tender kisses.
It feels strange then as Gail repeatedly slides her fingertips through what's left of her hair, desperately trying to get used to the feeling of it beneath her touch, and yet as foreign as it is to her, Gail feels herself slowly adjusting to the change, her mind gradually coming to acceptance that this is the new her.
That doesn't stop it all from being a little jarring though.
The familiar sound of Holly's soft footsteps fill her ears after a few moments and she flicks her gaze to meet Holly's in the mirror as Holly comes to a stop behind her, her brow furrowed a little in concern. Gail can feel the warmth of Holly's body radiating against her back as she steps closer, her hands settling in comfortingly at Gail's hips and squeezing as her chin comes to rest gently on Gail's shoulder.
"It's only hair, right?" Gail voices quietly, her fingers grasping at as much of her hair as she can and pursing her mouth together tightly when the short ends slip easily through her hold.
Holly offers her a kind, lopsided smile in return and presses her lips to the curve of Gail's shoulder, lingering for a second before nuzzling her nose up along the side of her neck. "You're still you, Gail," she says, her breath puffing warmly against the shell of Gail's ear as she addresses the barely veiled conflict lingering beneath the surface of Gail's eyes.
"Am I?" Gail retorts without missing a beat, lowering her hand down in defeat from the back of her head and curling her fingers tightly around the cold porcelain of the sink again. She holds Holly's eyes and shrugs when Holly refuses to look away, waiting patiently for Gail to expand on her thoughts. "I'm not sure I know who I am at all... I'm not sure if I've ever really known."
Holly's hands slide from their position on her hips to cover her stomach, encouraging Gail to lean further back into her embrace as her lips press another gentle kiss to the soft skin behind her ear. "You're still you; you're still abrasive and unwaveringly honest; you're still kind and funny and endearingly sarcastic," Holly assures her, smiling at her affectionately. "You're still loyal and fiercely hard-working, and let's not forget devastatingly beautiful."
The compliment, familiar and yet still so new, makes the corner of Gail's mouth twitch up into the beginning of a smile. "That's who I am, huh?"
"Mmhmm," Holly confirms easily, smiling beautifully when Gail's twists her head enough to search out Holly's eyes, uncertainty still clutching agonizingly around her heart. "But that doesn't mean there isn't new qualities about yourself that you haven't discovered yet. You can become whoever you want to be, Gail. That's the beauty of life, the possibilities out there for all of us are endless."
Gail smiles fully at Holly's words and lets her arms come up to cover Holly's, essentially drawing her even closer against her back and letting Holly's sincere encouragement begin to put her at ease and boost her confidence a little. "I guess I'm going through a bit of a renaissance..."
"Exactly," Holly confirms happily, bumping their noses together affectionately and making Gail's eyes flutter closed. "A beautiful renaissance."
"And you don't mind...?" Gail whispers daringly, keeping her eyes closed, her stomach knotting anxiously at the thought of having to go through this change alone. "Being with me while I figure this all out, I mean."
Holly's lips brush against hers a second later, and she makes sure to kiss Gail soft and endlessly slow, not stopping until Gail feels Holly's reassuring warmth chasing away her lingering doubts and fears.
She lets out a shuddery breath as Holly pulls back, leaving their foreheads resting together, and Gail feels her heart consumed by an overwhelming appreciation for Holly's unwavering consistency; always so reliable and strong whenever Gail needs Holly's help to stop herself from falling apart.
"I'm all about growing these days, remember?" Holly murmurs, close enough still that Gail can feel her breath tickling against her lips.
Gail nods slightly in response and tilts her head to kiss Holly chastely in acknowledgement, still getting used to the way that Holly always seems to know exactly what to say to calm her fears. "Yeah, I remember."
Holly nuzzles their noses together again and waits until Gail's eyes flutter open to meet hers before she smiles and says, "Then I guess you could say that we're both going through a bit of a renaissance right now."
"Figuring out who we are together, huh?" Gail asks with a smile, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she lets her eyes trail hopefully over Holly's face.
Holly's mouth curls up into a smile as she leans forward to kiss Gail chastely again. "I'd really like that."
"Me too," Gail replies earnestly, her stomach fluttering happily as Holly breaks into a beautiful smile, her eyes glimmering promisingly in a way that makes Gail truly believe that everything will work out the way it's suppose to as long as she has Holly by her side.