The Crossover series:
Twilight
Gossip Girl
X-men
Veronica Mars
…
Yes I know, what am I doing starting another story. Beauty of this story is, it's not a real story story, it's a series of crossover, each standing on it's on. So when I get bored and feel like doing something else than my normal stories. I just whip up one of these babies.
Two more things:
1) If you have any suggestions I'm be happy to hear or do them for you!
2) If all of this turns out to be a success, I'll take the most popular one shot and make a full story out of it. So please enlighten me!
Episode One: Gossip Girl
Caleb shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans. This was going to be the longest, most trying week of his life. This week he had to face an enemy Chase Collins couldn't measure up to by far. This week, he was going to have to face Blair the bitch Waldorf, just because his mom and her mom were like thisclose.
He was not looking forward to this, he had even called in Pogue's help 'tame' the screw in order to make her a bit more bearable.
So there they were, waiting outside for her to arrive.
"Caleb, you look like you're on death row," Pogue said with grin. "Chill man, it's just a girl."
"Just a girl?" Caleb repeated. "It's obvious you haven't met her before."
"Caleb honestly how bad can she be?"
"When we were six she said my GI Joe was all crass and no class and took him by force to give him a make-over."
"By force?"
"She bit me and made him wear one of Ken's polo shirts."
Pogue laughed. "If anything she sounds interesting."
"Interesting? Vicious is more like it."
"Caleb c'mon."
"It is her firm believe that nice is subjective."
"Caleb, if you hate her so much-,"
"I don't hate her, I'm afraid of her."
"Okay then if you fear her so much, why is she coming over?"
"She had a mental breakdown, my mom and her mom agreed a change of scenery would do her good."
"A mental breakdown? I though she was our age?"
"She is our age."
"Than how can she have had a mental breakdown."
"Being an Uper East Sider is rough, that reminds me you can't say the word Limo or the name Chuck apparently she gets kind of testy when either is mentioned."
"Okay…"
"Afraid yet?"
"You're starting to get to me."
"Good, be afraid be very afraid," Caleb muttered checking his watch. "And she'll be here any minute now."
"So is she cute?"
"Why do you think I didn't invite Reid over?"
"That good huh?"
"The devil has never looked more charming," Caleb sighed nervously raking a hand through his hair. "Speaking of the devil there she is," he said gesturing towards a cab that had just pulled into the driveway.
Before either of them had a chance the door flew open revealing a black dress clad girl with long wavy brown hair and flawless skin.
"Caleb, my bags," the girl stated from behind her large sunglasses. "And be careful, they're Prada."
Caleb made a face. "So the devil really does wear Prada."
"You're so funny Caleb," the girl snapped, gracefully climbing out of the cab.
"Pogue give me a hand will you, little miss bitchiness packed enough bags to last her a year," Caleb said lifting two of the heavy bags out of the trunk while the girl smoothed out her silk dress. "Blair what's in all of this?"
"Just some clothes," she retorted checking her reflection in the cab windows.
"I didn't know bricks were in fashion," Pogue muttered as Caleb handed him a couple of bags.
"And you are?"
"Pogue Perry."
"It's a pleasure."
"Won't be for long," Caleb muttered as he struggled to get the bags inside the house.
"Hey guys!" A familiar voice called.
"Now shit really hit the fane," Caleb stated putting the bags down in defeat as Reid and Tyler made their way over.
"A get together and you didn't invite us, I'm insulted!" Reid joked before his eyes fell on Blair. "And who is this?"
"Reid, Tyler meet Blair," Caleb said with a frown, knowing things were probably going to end badly: Blair ate guys like Reid for breakfast.
Blair took of her glasses and eyed them. "You're doing this on purpose aren't you Caleb?"
"What did I do?" Caleb exclaimed visibly confused.
"Him," she said gesturing towards a now bewildered looking Tyler.
"What about Tyler?"
"Hiring guys who look like my ex-boyfriend just for the sake of annoying me is so lower class of you!"
"What are you talking about Tyler's been my friend since birth!"
"Oh and his resemblance to Nate is purely coincidence," Blair said crossing her arms and tapping her foot in a very feminine manner as Tyler just watched on with a look of extreme confusion on his face.
"Who?" Tyler blurted out.
Blaire narrowed her eyes at him as she gave him a critical glare. "Nathaniel Archibald, doesn't it ring a bell?"
"Can't say it does."
"Really now?"
"Blair stop giving him the evil eye," Caleb said evenly. "You're freaking him out."
Her only response was to roll her eyes and flip her hair back.
"Blair really I would appreciate if-," Caleb's sure to turn into a lecture sentence was interrupted by a annoyingly cute beep.
"God let it be someone cultured," Blaire said making her patented you-annoy-me-face at Caleb, as she retrieved a flashy orange cell phone from her gigantic, but probably very stylish, black purse.
"You only just got here what can people possible have to tell you," Caleb said raking a hand through his hair in an exasperated fashion. He had known Blair all his life and over the years she had managed to annoy the hell out of him.
"That stupid catchphrase spewing cyberspace-loser," Blair mumbled through gritted teeth, loosing her carefully crafted image of control.
"Uh Blair?" Caleb said approaching her carefully: One must treat Blair Waldorf like a wild animal at all times to minimise the risk of serious bodily damage.
"Spotted: Queen B. fleeing to the countryside. What's wrong B.? Bass got your heart? Come home soon B. gossip gets less interesting when you're gone. Xoxo Gossip Girl," Blair read clearly displaying her disdain. "God her words are so fake she could instantly star on The Hills."
"Who is Gossip Girl?" Pogue questioned raising an eyebrow as he watched the scene in interest.
"Some crazy blogger who's obsessed with Blair and her equally preppy buddies," Caleb explained with a shrug.
"Who are you calling preppy muscle brains?"
"I like her," Reid stated.
"Like me if you must," Blair said with a smirk. "But please do so from afar, I don't want to catch anything."
Tyler let out a bark of laughter, which resulted in a smack across the head from a clearly disgruntled and scowling Reid.
"Caleb," Blair said. "My bags remember?"
Caleb let out a sigh. "Reid, Tyler, care to help us carry the princess's things?"
"If I get a kiss afterwards," Reid said clearly not yet giving up on his conquest of Blair-adise.
"I'm sure Caleb will give you a kiss if you help," was the Queen Bee's smart ass retort. "But if you guys do manage to handle my luggage without breaking anything, I'll take you out for a drink."
"Jeez Blair when did you get so generous?" Caleb sneered as they struggled with her bags.
"Lay off the sarcasm will you? You don't wear bitchiness well."
All in all it took them about fifteen minutes to get Blair's luggage to the guest room Evelyn had prepared for her goddaughter, after their hard labour it didn't take Blair long to banish them to the sitting room so she could change into something less travel more glamour before going out.
"You did tell her Nicky's is a bar right?" Pogue questioned checking his watch: the minute it would take her to get ready had already turned into fifteen minutes.
"Blair doesn't believe in dressing down," Caleb explained. "I don't think I've ever seen her wearing pants."
"I like her already," Reid said amused.
"Lame joke Reid, very lame joke," Caleb muttered.
"Besides she made it quite obvious she's not interested," Tyler stated as he flipped through a magazine.
"She will be after I work my mojo on her."
"Reid, a word of advice, back away from the Blair," Caleb said. "She's way too much for you to handle."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Don't take it personal, handling Blair requires years of experience, fancy gifts and patience, lots and lots of patience."
"I'm not planning on handling her I'm planning on doing here."
Caleb let out a snort. "Sure Reid, if you can pull of a miracle."
"My ears are burning," a voice said from the doorway. "Is someone talking about me?"
"Finally," Pogue stated.
"This is my introduction to Ipswich society, I have to keep up the Waldorf name don't I?"
"You're keeping something up alright B," Reid said eyeing her up and down.
"Leave the clever comments to the experts," Blair said her evil little smile never faltering.
"Aren't you a little overdressed?" Caleb said eyeing her up.
"Like I said, I have to keep up the Waldorf name," Blair said before raising her hand as soon as Reid opened his mouth. "Shush you."
"All right then, let's get going," Caleb said, not in the mood to argue with Blair Waldorf…He'd lose anyway.
Though even he had to admit she looked nice in her skin-tight navy blue dress though her matching handbag seemed a bit too big for her petite frame and much too fancy for a place like Nicky's…he was already dreading her reaction when she saw Nicky's.
"This is worse than Brooklyn," was the first thing out of her mouth when she saw the rickety building.
"Blair you said you were going to behave," Caleb said sternly.
"Correction I said I would be nice to your girlfriend, not that I would enter the ghetto and like it," she said visibly dissatisfied. "God I knew I should've gotten that tetanus shot."
"It's not that bad," Tyler offered sheepishly.
She took a deep breath. "Well if I have to enter a dump, I might as well do it in style. Tyler, arm please."
Tyler silently complied, knowing better than to argue with her. Caleb had taught him well. She grabbed on to his arm and allowed him to escort her inside into the dingy room.
"This is even worse than I expected," she stated grabbing onto Tyler's arm much to Reid's chagrin. "My poor Birkin," she said petting her bag.
"Birkin?" Pogue questioned frowning.
"It's a bag," Reid said to everyone's surprise. "What I for one actually listen to my mom when she's talking," he said when he noticed the surprised looks.
"Remember what you promised," Caleb hissed as they guided her towards Sarah and Kate.
"Yeah yeah, sugar spice and all things nice," Blair said emphasizing her words with a wave of the hand.
"Oh my God," Kate said spotting Blair. "Caleb you didn't tell me your friend was Blair Waldorf," staring at the brunette in something that resembled awe. "I mean look at me! I would've dressed way better if I knew-,"
"You know her?" Pogue asked eyeing his girlfriend psyched out state of mind.
"Duh she's a New York it-girl fashionista!"
"You give me too much credit," Blair said giving her best humble smile.
"Is that Cavalli?" Kate said eyeing her dress giddy as a school girl.
"Caleb I'm impressed," Blair said with an appeased smile.
"I'm glad to hear that but that's not my girlfriend."
"Oh?"
"That's Pogue's girlfriend Kate," Caleb said before turning to Sarah who was standing behind her best friend smiling shyly. "This is Sarah."
"Nice to meet you," Sarah stated sweetly.
"Nice to meet you too," Blair said charming smile perfectly in place but Caleb could see her eyes take in every aspect of Sarah's outfit, an outfit that probably wasn't up to Blair's standards.
"Now everyone's introduced, let's have a drink, I'm sure I could use one," Caleb said diffusing the situation before an catty comments could be made.
"If I can sterilize the glass first," Blair muttered under her breath as she gracefully seated herself next to Kate.
"What did I tell you," Caleb said pointing an incriminating finger at her.
"You need a manicure."
"Don't start with me."
"You started it I just joined in."
"What does everyone want to drink?" Tyler questioned in an attempt to break the banter.
"A strawberry daiquiri," Blair stated checking her cell.
"I don't think Nicky serves drinks a normal person can't spell," Tyler stated with a frown. "Is a normal beer okay?"
"How about you give us girls a Bud lime?" Kate suggested.
"I'll trust to your good taste," Blair said with a smile though her focus remained on her cell before turning mildly red. "Damn that motherchucker."
"Excuse me?" Sarah questioned frowning.
"Motherchucker?" Reid repeated.
"Oh my god! Chuck Bass right?" Kate exclaimed earning herself a look from her friends. "What I read gossip girl sometimes too…Ipswich can't satisfy my gossip needs and her life is freakishly interesting!"
"Yes Chuck Bass, has infuriated me once again."
"What did he do?" Kate asked hanging from her every word.
"Just in: Chuck Bass 'entertaining' twins in his limo. Showing B. what she's missing Chuck? Mission accomplished I bet. Xoxo Gossip Girl," Blair read making very un-Blair like faces. "I need a scheme."
"I thought the whole point of you being here was to get away from it all?" Caleb said visibly not amused by the prospect of a plotting Blair.
"Screw that, I need to get back at that Bass for trying to destroy my reputation…again!"
"At your service," Reid said saluting her.
"Back off wayer," Blair said raising up her perfectly tweezed eyebrows.
"Wayer?" Reid repeated.
"Wannabe player," Blair explained. "The title suits you, though you might come in handy latter on, when,-"
Apparently unaware of who she was dealing with Kira Snider made the great faux pas of interrupting Blair in the midst of a rant.
"And who is this?" She questioned smiling. "Another charity case? Jeez the Spencer reputation really is going downhill."
"Back off Snider-," Kate started before Caleb intervened.
"Leave it Kate, Blair can take care of herself, trust me," he said smiling at what was to come.
Visibly agreeing Blair got up and gave Kira an examining look.
"Speaking of charity cases, aren't those shoes from last year's Marc Jacobs collection?" Blair stated dryly. "But that beside the point, I'm Blair Waldorf first off you don't speak to me unless you're spoken to you glorified hag and second go away you can in no way measure up to the standards I set for my company."
"What?"
"You heard me, move," Blair said who apparently despite her petite frame, could be very intimidating.
Kira just gave her one last look before storming off, probably to find Aaron.
"Way to go Blair," Reid said clapping.
"Happy now?" Caleb said trying to bite back a smile.
"Not even close," Blair said elegantly returning to her seat.
"I'm impressed," Sarah laughed.
"Did I miss something here?" Tyler questioned as he arrived with the drinks in hand.
"Blair had a little run in with Kira," Kate explained. "And she kicked major ass."
"Than you really do disserve this," Tyler said handing her a drink.
"I've faced greater foes," Blair said with a wink. "Speaking of bigger foes, that girl interrupted my scheming," she added before she downed nearly the entire contents of the bottle.
"Let it go Blair," Caleb stated or begged.
"I don't let things go Caleb."
"I know, I know you're Blair Waldorf," he replied before giving her an odd look. "Oh no."
"Oh no?" Pogue questioned.
"I know that look!"
"What look?" Blair asked innocently.
"That look when something truly evil just popped into your head."
"Evil is such a big word."
"Spill it."
"Can I borrow something from you?"
"Name it?"
"Reid."
The mention of his name made the blond look up and stare at her in interest.
"Reid?" Caleb repeated frowning. "Are you sure Blair?"
"I might regret it latter, but for now I am," she stated stubbornly. "And we could use Kate's assistance too."
"Me?" Kate asked.
"You know about Gossip Girl right?"
"Yeah…?"
"Your cell can make pictures?"
"Sure."
"Than you're the right person for the job," she said enthusiastically. "Will you two please escort me outside? Pogue I promise I'll bring her back in ten minutes completely unharmed."
Pogue just grinned in return.
"Behave you three!" Caleb called after them as they headed outside.
"Now what's this ingenious plan of yours?" Reid asked once outside, crossing his arms and giving the petite brunette an intent look.
"You're going to kiss me."
"Okay with me."
"And Kate's going to take a picture."
"What?" Kate exclaimed visibly confused.
"Kinky, but I'm game," Reid said with a smirk.
"And afterwards Kate will send the picture to Gossip Girl, so Chuck Bass can clearly see I don't care about his affaires with twins."
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kate questioned. "With Reid? No offence Reid but uhm Tyler would be a safer bet."
"Tyler looks too much like Nate, it would make people think I'm not over Nate yet," Blair explained patiently. "Let's do this shall we-,"
And before she could get another word in Reid had already grabbed her and shoved his tongue in her mouth earning himself a smack around the head.
"Patience!" Blair exclaimed sternly.
"You say let's do this," Reid stated with a grin. "And what can I say I can't control myself around you B."
"Charming," Blair said rolling her eyes. "Thankfully you're actually a good kisser otherwise this experience would've been slightly traumatic."
"Ieuw, Blair please keep that information to yourself," Kate said making a disgusted face.
Blair just smiled. "Camera ready?"
"Ready."
"Action," Reid said but before he could plant his lips on Blair's again she stopped him by pressing a single finger against his lips.
"Patience remember?" Blair stated. "Besides I have a better idea, you're going to kiss my neck, so people can see my face and be sure."
"You put a lot of thought into this didn't you?"
"I'm an Upper East Sider, I scheme in order to survive," Blair said. "So Reid, understand what you have to do?"
"Yes B, but what's in it for me?" He questioned slyly.
"You can take me out tomorrow and continue your pitiful attempts at wooing-me."
"Deal," Reid said with a nod.
Spotted: Lady B. engaging in some PDA with a mystery boy and reminding us once and for all who the Queen Bee is around here. Way to show the Bass-tard B. Xoxo Gossip Girl.
-Fin-
There you go my first instalment, it was kind of weird, so be kind this is my first crossover ever and I'm still trying to find my groove! And it's pretty damn hard to get Blair's funky lingo and overall personality. And I had no idea how difficult it is to write a believable Gossip Girl blog message so if I messed up…I'm sorry!
Tell me what you think!
Love
Fishie.