OK, this is my first attempt with slash, so please, try to go easy on me. I kind of always wanted to write something like this.
I own nothing, people! Absolutely freaking nothing! That's really a downer.
Riley Poole opened the door to his friend's Victorian mansion, not even bothering to knock. He never knocked when going to Ben's house. Why should today be any different? Riley heard voices in the dining room and walked in.
He opened his mouth to make his presence known, but didn't speak. There sat Ben and Abigail at the table. Abigail sat on Ben's lap, and Ben was kissing Abigail's neck. The sight made Riley feel sick. He slid into the kitchen silently, pouring himself some coffee. There was another feeling in the pit of his stomach. Could it be… jealousy? He shook the thought from his head.
Though he tried hard, he couldn't deny the feelings he kept bottled up inside. But that's all they were. Feelings. He knew it would never become reality. As long as Ben and Abby were together, Riley knew Ben couldn't possibly have the same feelings. He let out a quiet sigh, staring into his coffee cup.
He never even really knew he'd felt this way until Ben and Abby announced their engagement. He remembered how long that night had seemed. He remembered just going home and practically losing it. There was still a dent in the apartment wall from when he'd started punching it. Whenever he thought about the approaching wedding, Riley felt numb inside.
He shook his head, thinking about how silly it seemed, to love someone even though they could never love you back. Riley walked into the dining room, clearing his throat.
"Do you want me to leave, or would you like an audience?" He asked. Ben and Abby broke apart from a passionate kiss and looked up.
"Oh, I didn't know you were here. I didn't hear you come in." Abby remarked. She looked at Riley curiously. "Is something wrong? You look like you're in a daze."
"I'm fine." Riley said quickly. "Just a lot on my mind." He faked a smile.
"A girl?" Ben teased.
"No, it's not like that." Riley secretly hoped the subject would be dropped. Ben, however, wasn't giving up.
"Who's the lucky lady?" Ben asked with a grin. Riley sat down on one of the soft chairs at the table.
"It's not like that." Riley repeated. "Besides, it doesn't matter anymore."
"What do you mean by that?" Abby asked, finally disentangling herself from Ben and sitting down in her own chair.
"We're your best friends, Riley, you can tell us." Ben encouraged him.
"Honestly, I'm fine." Riley tried to sound stubborn, but it came closer to a whine.
"You don't have to tell us who it is." Ben put his hand on Riley's elbow. Riley liked having it there, so warm and friendly.
"It's just too late for it to happen." The younger brunette said, taking a sip of his coffee. "The person I really doesn't feel the same. And they're with someone else."
"Are you sure? I mean, have you told this person?"
"I'm sure. And I haven't admitted how I really feel to them. I never will either. I just have to forget about it, OK?" Riley persisted, not knowing how much more questioning he could take before his resistance finally broke down.
"You can't forget true love, Riley." Abigail told him. Riley shook his head.
"I have to." He said quietly.
"Maybe it could be, and you just don't know it?" Ben encouraged.
"Maybe in another lifetime. We're just really good friends. We care about each other, but that person doesn't feel the same. It just wasn't meant to be." Riley finished, his sad bleu eyes meeting a similar blue pair. The clock chimed nine, and the two continued staring at each other. Ben blinked several times as what Riley was saying finally registered.
"Oh, I have to go and meet Sharon at the dinner hall. Don't get into too much trouble." Abigail hopped up, giving Ben a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away and grabbing her coat.
Ben smiled sadly at Riley, and all Riley could do was mirror the sad expression.
"Riley…" Ben's voice came out as a whisper. He put his hand on Riley's elbow again.
He realized everything Riley had said was about him. He cared about Riley, and knew he always would. He knew deep down inside, he loved Riley. It was a love that would never be revealed to anyone, but they would both know it was there. It would always be present inside of him, that he knew.
Ben felt guilty in a way, not being able to love Riley the way he loved Abby. It hurt, knowing how much the younger man really wanted them to be together. But Riley wasn't on his knees begging Ben to love him. He was just telling Ben how he felt, in his own way.
"Riley…" Ben said again.
"You don't need to say anything. I understand."
"I wish you'd told me sooner." Ben said. "But you know how I feel about Abigail."
"I know. I don't expect anything to come out of this. I know you love Abby, and I'm happy for you, I really am. But I just can't help but feel…"
"I know." Ben swallowed. "You know…You know I do, don't you, Riley?"
"You do?" Riley asked. He could feel himself almost choking back tears, but he tried to shake it off.
"Yes. I love Abby, but a part of me does… and always will." Ben said softly.
Riley knew the feelings would always be there, no matter what. He could never be together with Ben, never wake up next to him or feel Ben's skin against his own. But deep down, he knew Ben loved him.
"It'll always be you, Ben. No matter what." Riley forced a watery smile. Ben tried to smile back, taking Riley's shaking hands in his own.
"I know Riley. I know." They stared into each other's eyes, tension growing. Riley stood up.
"I…I should probably go." He started for the door.
"Wait." Ben got up also, grabbing Riley's shoulder. Riley turned around, and their eyes met once more.
"Never change, kid. You're perfect."
Riley tried to smile, but both of their smiles faded away into serious expressions. Riley closed his eyes a moment, and he felt Ben's soft lips on his own. The younger man was pleased by the warm feeling. The kiss slowly became heated, and finally, after about a minute, they broke apart. Riley was getting ready to leave, the kiss still burning on his lips, when Ben spoke up one last time.
"Riley… Another lifetime, huh?" Ben smiled. Riley nodded.
"Yeah. Another lifetime."
Ben sat back down at the table, rubbing his head. That normal morning had become a jumble of emotions. But he knew they would both move on. He would marry Abby, and Riley would find somebody. He would always be jealous, but they didn't have let everything stay all bottled up anymore.
Besides, everyone has a secret love, don't they?
Well, that was my attempt at a Ben/Riley story. Please, tell me what you think.