Just a fic that came into mind when I was listening to this song. It sounded so much like Matsumoto's feelings toward Gin's betrayal. So I wrote this just for her. My first songfic. You'll notice there's an OC in here who plays a valuable role, but not much detail about her. Yet i'm currently in the process of writing a fic for her. But that's another story, literally, so let's get on with this one. Enjoy!
Song: Smile, by Lily Allen
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, Tite Kubo does.
Smile
Matsumoto sat on her bed in her room. Hasn't left her house for two days now. Three days ago her childhood friend betrayed her and Soul Society and left with Aizen.
When you first left me
I was wanting more
But you were fucking that girl next door
What'cha do that for? (What'cha do that for?)
He had not only betrayed her but he had defeated her captain and put him in the infirmary. So now there's no one leading the division but their 3rd seat. And even she can't manage it on her own. Matsumoto knew she should get up and go to the office, but she just didn't want to.
When you first left me
I didn't know what to say
I've never been on my own that way
Just sat by myself all day
She felt totally useless. It was childhood all over again. Gin leaves without an explanation. Only this time, it's a thousand times worse. He's never coming back. At least when they were kids he came back and made it up to her. Now... Now nothing he can say or do will make her forgive him. With a sigh she fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end
A knock sounded at her door. Should I answer it, or pretend I'm not home? She wondered. She didn't really feel like going to work, and probably wouldn't for a while.
"Rangiku-san? It's me, can I talk to you?" Hearing the voice of her 3rd seat, she felt that answering the door wouldn't hurt. She opened the door to greet her guest. "Hey Tsuzuki, come on in." She said, she tried smiling but it was a failed attempt.
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you are feeling alone
They walked into her bedroom where they sat on her bed. "You haven't been to work in two days. Taicho was wondering where you were." Tsuzuki explained. "He came back to work?" She nodded. "Yesterday."
They sat in silence for several seconds.
"Look, Tsuzuki, I don't know if i'm ready to go back to work." Rangiku said, staring at the wooden floors. "You're not the only one suffering you know. Look at Kira. He was his lieutenant and has to lead his division all alone. Shuhei too. And Hinamori? Well you know what's happened to her." Matsumoto flinched at Hinamori's name.
"And what about Taicho? Don't you think he's in as much pain as you?" Tsuzuki asked.
At first when I see you cry
It makes me smile
Yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile
"It's just so hard. I was so close to him, and yet couldn't see what he was thinking. I thought I knew everything about him, but I was wrong." Rangiku whispered.
"We were all duped, it's no one's fault. Nobody can blame you for Ichimaru's betrayal. He did it on his own accord, nobody knew they were going to do it. Don't let anyone tell you different." Tsuzuki said.
"I know I'm not to blame. But I can't help but feel responsible for not knowing in time. Not seeing the things he was doing as signs that he was going against Soul Society." Rangiku murmured.
"Nobody could've predicted this would happen Rangiku. Not even the Soutaicho. These things just happen, there's no way of telling when it'll happen. Here, come on." Tsuzuki stood and grabbed Rangiku's hand and pulled her off the bed and towards the door.
"Where are we going Tsuzuki?" Matsumoto asked as she was dragged out the door. "You'll see." Was all Tsuzuki said.
Whenever you see me
You say that you want me back (Want me back)
And I tell you it don't mean jack (it don't mean jack)
No it don't mean jack (No it don't mean jack)
They walkedfor what felt like forever until Tsuzuki stopped them in front of a house. "Oh Tsuzuki, you can't be serious." Matsumoto whined as her gaze flashed from the house to Tsuzuki.
"It's the only way." Tsuzuki said and pulled her to the front door. Surprisingly it wasn't locked. "We'd better do this before they decide to search this place for evidence." Tsuzuki muttered, mostly to herself.
They went into the house and Rangiku looked at all the familiar contents of the building. Tsuzuki stopped them in the living room. "Okay, have at it." Tsuzuki said as she let go of Rangiku's hand.
"Have at what?" Rangiku asked. "Obviously you're sad and angry inside, so there's only two ways to let it all out. And since I doubt you'll cry, we'll try beating the crap out of his stuff. He won't need it anymore so why not get rid of it?" Tsuzuki stated as matter-of-factly.
Rangiku stared at her for a minute. "You want me to destroy his place?" She asked. Tsuzuki nodded.
I couldn't stop laughing
No I just couldn't help myself
See you messed up my mental health
I was quite unwell
Rangiku let out a fit of laughter at Tsuzuki's notion. Tsuzuki laughed too. "Okay, but I don't see how this'll help." Rangiku said with a smile. First time she's smiled in days.
"Trust me, you'll feel better." Tsuzuki said and back up against the wall to give her space. Matsumoto was pretty worried about the idea, what if she got in trouble.
"Don't worry, we'll just say it was like this when we found it. For all they know he did it before he left." Tsuzuki said with a giggle. Apparently Rangiku had said that last thought out loud.
She let out a sigh and began looking around the room. All this space and everything was ordinary and boring. She located a wooden practice sword in the corner. She walked over and grabbed it. She looked over to Tsuzuki who nodded before she swung the thing across the desk.
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end
Tsuzuki watched from the wall as Rangiku smashed and tore through everything that belonged to Gin. Tsuzuki had been right, this was making her feel better. A lot better. All those bad feelings in her system finally being let out as she swung the practice sword over everything breakable. Papers were flying everywhere, books falling off shelves, furniture being knocked over, pictures falling off the walls.
Matsumoto froze as she came across a picture from recently on the wall. Her and Gin had decided to go for a walk, and a sketch artist had captured them as they stood under a cherry blossom said he wanted to do something with her, for old times sake.
She then realized that he was doing it as a goodbye before he left her.
Rangiku didn't feel like containing it anymore and let a few tears come out and run down her cheeks. Tsuzuki could see that she had enough. She took a step forward, and then instantly backed away as Rangiku took the picture and flung it across the room and with a loud crash the picture frame broke into many pieces.
"YOU ASSHOLE!" She shouted. Feeling her knees give out she fell onto the floor. She tossed the wooden sword away and brought her knees to her chest. Crying silently.
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone
Tsuzuki knew for sure that she'd had enough and walked over to her. She knelt down and put her hand on her shoulder. Then without warning Rangiku pushed herself into Tsuzuki's arms.
"See? It's alright. You just have to face these things, not hide away from them." Tsuzuki said softly as she smoothed Rangiku's hair. A few minutes of crying later Rangiku finally calmed down and lifted her head from Tsuzuki's shoulder.
"Feel better?" Tsuzuki asked. Rangiku nodded. "Much better." She said, wiping her tears away. "Good." Tsuzuki said and reached out to wipe away one she missed.
"Do you think you can come back to work now? I'm sure Taicho's worried about you." Tsuzuki said.
At first when I see you cry
It makes me smile
Yeah it makes me smile
At worst I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile
La la la
Rangiku thought about it for a moment. Then nodded. "But first i'd like to do something." Rangiku said. Tsuzuki nodded and she helped stand her up. Rangiku didn't say anything as she walked out of the house without another look back and headed back to her house. Tsuzuki didn't ask her what she was doing, instead just watched.
When they arrived Rangiku grabbed her trashcan and surprised Tsuzuki by taking a picture frame, picture and all, and tossing it into the garbage. She repeated the process with all the pictures on her dresser, on the wall, on the counters. Every single picture with Gin had to go.
Then she proceeded to go to her closet and rid herself of anything Gin gave her. The pink scarf that she wore around her neck in the academy. The necklace she wore everyday. The dress he gave her on her birthday. The kimono he gave her to wear to her first festival. It didn't matter how valuable to her it was, it had to go.
Tsuzuki watched with amazement as she threw away every single item that would remind her of Gin.
At first when I see you cry (When I see you cry)
It makes me smile (It makes me smile)
Yeah it makes me smile (Yeah it makes me smile)
At worst I feel bad for a while (I feel bad for a while)
But then I just smile (But then I just smile)
I go ahead and smile (I go ahead and smile)
After going through the entire house Rangiku finally bagged up all the garbage and tossed it all person who collected garbage was going to need help with those then proceeded back into her room and fell onto the bed, after running around Gin's house and her own she was exhausted.
Tsuzuki sat next to her. Rangiku flashed her a grin. "Now i'm feeling a whole lot better." Tsuzuki in turn smiled, she ran a hand through her red hair and then stood up again. "Now that you're feeling better, we should head back to work. Taicho probably needs help with that paperwork." Rangiku groaned.
"Damn the person who invented accursed paperwork." Rangiku scowled at the thought of doing paperwork. "Oh come on. Don't be a baby. Surely the great Matsumoto Rangiku can handle a few sheets of paperwork." Tsuzuki laughed.
Rangiku smiled. "Come on. Let's go." Tsuzuki said and reached her hand out for Rangiku's. She grasped it and they walked out of the house.
At first when I see you cry (When I see you cry)
It makes me smile (It makes me smile)
Yeah it makes me smile (Yeah it makes me smile)
At worst I feel bad for a while (I feel bad for a while)
But then I just smile (But then I just smile)
I go ahead and smile (I go ahead and smile)
On the way there Rangiku engaged in a conversation about Tsuzuki's crush on Shuheiand giggled when Tsuzuki's face turned red. She then proceeded to comment on how her face was perfectly camouflaged by her hair. Tsuzuki got back at her and stated that Rangiku had been looking at their Taicho funny for a while now too.
Rangiku chose to ignore that, though the blush on her cheeks gave her away.
Finally they arrived at the Tenth Division barracks and made it to the office. As usual Hitsugaya was sitting there doing paperwork. "Afternoon Taicho!" Tsuzuki said with a smile as she and Rangiku entered the office. Hitsugaya looked up and noticed with a hint of shock the Matsumoto had come back.
"I finally managed to get her back. So she's all yours. I'll just take this stack and be off." Tsuzuki said and took a fair stack of paperwork with her and left. The two sat in silence for several minutes.
"Are you..." He began. She in turn nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry." She answered with a smile. He let out a relieved sigh. That smile always did tell the truth. She was perfectly fine. "Good then you can start on this paperwork." He smirked. "Aww!" She whined.
At first when I see you cry (When I see you cry)
It makes me smile (It makes me smile)
Yeah it makes me smile (Yeah it makes me smile)
At worst I feel bad for a while (I feel bad for a while)
But then I just smile (But then I just smile)
I go ahead and smile (I go ahead and smile)
She felt a lot better. She didn't need Gin to be happy, she had so many friends that cared about her. Eventually all wounds will heal. In the meantime...
...She'll go ahead and smile.
Of course in the song, a guy cheated on her and left her and she got revenge on him. But this fic clearly has it's similarities to the song. This is why I felt that this song was describing a lot of how Rangiku felt. Thank you for reading, please post a review with your comments. ^^ And I told you there was an OC. Tsuzuki happens to have her own story coming up too. So watch out for it. Be sure to review. XD
LATERZ! RedPearlvoice.
