A HAND TO KISS
another picture, another idea, Gackt is sooooo yaoi... enjoy!
It wasn't always dominance they were fighting for. It was respect, it was love, it was nothing. Sometimes he just wanted to fight because he wanted to. He fought because he had nothing else to fight for. He fought because he wanted his king's respect.
He wanted to be everything in his king's eyes.
And part of him knew he never would be, part of him knew king would always win. Was it because he let him?
He wanted his king to watch him, turn to him, love him. He wanted his king's heart and soul. He wanted and yearned and begged for his king. Until it hurt so bad he wanted to eat his heart out.
Sometimes his king hated him. Hated him because he was there. Hated him because he was the darker side of his heart. Hated him because he had power his king would never posses. And that made him sad.
That made him angry.
He wanted to be everything. Because he was. It was what he deserved. His king shouldn't look at anybody else. Only him. He wanted his king's respect and love so badly he would eat his heart out.
So badly, he would take it by force.
And he tried. He made his king scream and cry and he found no joy in it. Because his king still didn't love him. Every time he ripped something away from his king, he would look at him with contempt. promising silently 'I'll kill you'. Telling him wordlessly 'I hate you'.
He didn't want that look.
Because he knew his kind was sweet and kind and beautiful. He wanted hidden smiles and small blushes. Those things he graced everyone else, and yet hid from them at the same time. Didn't king know that they weren't watching? Didn't king know they didn't see his hidden smiles like he did?
Because he watched. He always watched, the same way he wanted king to watch him.
But if king's eyes wouldn't turn his way, he make them.
In truth, it wasn't really freedom he wanted, though his hole filled heart begged for the free sky. In truth, he didn't really want control. Maybe if he showed king he was powerful, king would love him. Maybe...maybe...
In truth, he just wanted amber eyes to look at him, watch him. He wanted a hand to kiss and a body to love and a heart to hold. He wanted a little love and a little respect. All he wanted was his king.
But he glared at him, hated him, never smiled for him or blushed like the cute little boy he was...
Or used to be.
Those little smiles he offered to everyone else, but they never saw. He always did. He knew king's secrets. He knew his king's wants and desires and likes and dislikes down to the point that he really was king. He could be, if he wanted.
He could lock king up in here, never let him out. He could be king and never let them see king's hidden smiles. He would keep them all to himself.
He wanted his king's respect and love. A smooth, soft blood stained hand to kiss. But if he had to make his king bow to him, he would.
If only so he would be struck down again.
Because he knew one thing the earned his king's respect. Even through hatred filled eyes he saw 'you're winning right now, hollow, I respect that.'
And just that might've been enough for him. If he could have a hand to kiss.
OWARI
Ish kept looking at the title, thinking 'ick! It's awful and has nothing to do with the story!' but Ish had nothing to replace it with. It was originally called 'bow to me' and that's the title that pissed ish off.
A note on the kiss means control trilogy: there is no meaning. Stop hurting urself trying to figure it out, even ish doesn't gets it. That said RXR ONEGAI!