Thanks to CajunBear for beta-ing this for your reading pleasure!
Sitches in Time: Chapter 1: Of Villains and Heroines
Upperton, Colorado. 5:19am
Four familiar and, at this time of the morning, very annoying beeping chimes cut through the still and silent air of the room. A brilliant green, yet red rimmed eye creaked open to glare at the offending device. Then a low, menacing growl escaped her throat as a slim, slender hand reached out from under the covers, and groped for the wrist mounted Kimmunicator that was beeping from where it rested on her nightstand. World renowned heroine Kimberly Anne Possible was not pleased, and the teenaged genius that was Wade Load better have a good explanation for calling this early in the morning.
The device chimed again, and beside her a lump of blankets and covers moaned and rolled over, muttering to himself as he snuggled deeper into the warm covers of their bed. "Nooooooo… Bad, evil monkey… My nacos, mine… Stay away… Rufus, save the cheese… and the Diablo sauce…"
Kim, now fully awake at the second chime, smiled at the lump, before she grabbed the wrist mounted Kimmunicator, and hit the call receive button. In an instant, the chubby, well not so chubby anymore, face of Wade Load filled the wrist mounted device's tiny screen.
"Wade..." Kim growled, "Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Sorry Kim," at least he had the decency to apologize "but I just got a hit on the site, and from what they're telling me it's pretty urgent."
Kim sighed, it never ended. Though it was true that Kim, and Ron had talked and decided that while in college, missions would take a lower priority then their classes. After all Kim had a full course load when she had applied to Upperton University and was studying both International Relations and Law. Meanwhile Ron, to Kim's pleasure, pride and contrary to many peoples opinion that he was a good for nothing slacker, had been accepted into Upperton's prestigious Upperton Culinary Arts School. Despite their missions taking a lower priority, once in a while, when there was an urgent need or the two were merely bored, Team Possible would don their mission gear, and do what they did best; beat the bad guys.
"Alright Wade, sitch me." Kim was eager. It had been awhile since their last mission, almost three months now, and with it being near the end of August, classes were due to start in a couple of weeks. She needed to blow off some pent up energy before school started.
Beside her, Ron began stir. "Kim… Who… is it?" Ron asked sleepily, as he propped himself on one elbow, so as to get a better look at who had disturbed his much needed beauty sleep.
"It's Wade, honey. Now shush, he's got a mission for us." Kim replied.
Ron groaned. "Does he have any idea what time it is?"
"Yes Ron, I do." Wade sighed, "I'm sorry but Dr. Pert Ubation was quite insistent that this sitch is an emergency." Wade smiled mischievously "And hey, this could be away of someone telling you to keep your late night… exercises to a minimum."
"Waaaaddddeee…" Kim growled "the mission, please and thank you."
"Alright, alright. A Dr. Pert Ubation recently contacted me after a brazen robbery. The thief was highly professional and was able to evade, wipe, disable, and destroy most of their security, and I'm not talking about the run of the mill stuff, the security system that the lab had installed is top of the line, I know because I installed it myself. Anyway a highly sensitive and experimental piece of technology was stolen; needless to say the head researcher wants it back without delay."
Kim grinned, just like the good old days, stolen tech, some baddy using it in a hair brained scheme to take over the world, and only her and Ron able to stop them.
"What do you say Ron?" Kim whispered, "Do you think we should take the mission?"
Ron smiled. "Two words KP, Boo and Yah."
Kim grinned in enthusiasm. "Alright Wade. We're in."
Wade nodded. "Alright I'll send over data, and tell the Doctor you'll do everything in your power to get the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer back safe and sound."
The sound of a palm slapping a forehead echoed in the room as Ron groaned in dismay. "Oh, man! You mean we have to go after that darn thing AGAIN? I thought they had sealed it away for good. You even promised that we would never ever have to go after that thing again!"
Kim was inclined to agree. "Wade, you got some 'splainin' to do."
Wade just shrugged sheepishly. "I don't know what to tell you two. I did exactly what I promised after the last time someone grabbed it. It should have been impossible for someone to even find where the thing was hidden, not to mention even getting into the lab without the proper authorized IDs, finger prints, retinas and voice."
"We should just chuck the thing into space. I'm sure my dad could fit it onto a deep space probe." Kim muttered darkly as Ron nodded in agreement. "Alright Wade, where are we headed?"
"No need to worry about that, the Institute has already sent a private jet to Middleton Airport, they'll have you there in a few hours."
"Thanks Wade. Sorry we snapped at you, but chasing after the PDVI is getting really old, what is this, the ninth, tenth time we've gone after it?"
"Eleventh, actually." Ron answered, "You forgot about the guy who stole it to so he could build a device that would allow him to 'steal Christmas.'"
"Oh yeah I remember him," Kim scowled at the memory, "the one that was always speaking in rhymes. It was kind of sad really. Him ranting about how it came without ribbons!... it came without tags!... it came without packages, boxes, or bags!' At least we were able to return all the stolen property back to their owners."
Kim turned back to Wade's image. "Alright Wade, tell Dr. Ubation that Team Possible's on the case."
Wade nodded. "You got it Kim; I'll tell the Doc to expect you sometime this evening."
With that, Wade's image vanished from the screen. As silence quickly filled the small apartment's master bedroom, Kim rolled onto her side, a sultry smile spreading across her lips, her green eyes meeting his brown.
"Well since we're already up, and we've got to go to Middleton Airport in an hour or two…" Kim's slender fingers walked slowly up Ron's bare arm.
Ron grinned. "Aboo-yah." He whispered as he pulled her in for a kiss.
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean
White sand beaches, crystal clear water, tropical palm trees, and a beautiful, bright, shining sun. The small Pacific island practically screamed vacation home… Sure there was an active volcano on the island, but it just seemed to add to the exoticness of the island. In fact Shego could only really think of one real downside to her current locale. A downside that was currently boring her to near death with a rant about his… ahem… 'Greatest plan to take over the world ever!' Andrew Theodore Lipsky, better known to the world as the very evil, malevolent, the scourge of do-gooders, lippy teens, heroines and their buffoonish sidekicks-turned-boyfriends; Dr. Drakken, was that downside, and the current reason for a mild-headache.
Now normally Shego would ignore the rant, especially when the current lair had the perfect mixture of sun, surf and sand but, unfortunately, due to Drakken's insatiable need to tinker, and experiment, her entire supply of suntan lotion was used in a failed chemistry experiment to improve his mind control serum. Not only had the explosion damaged a good portion of the lair, but had also burned her hidden supply of magazines; everything from her recent copies of Villain's Weekly, and Femme Fatale Monthly, to her yearly New Guns, New Mercs. Naturally upset, when Shego had returned to discover what had transpired, she had attempted to mollify herself with some Drakken Flambé, which, as it always had, turned out to be a wonderful stress reliever.
An hour later, when Drakken had determined that it was safe to show his blue hide once more without being on the receiving end of a plasma blast and the accompanying burns, he immediately, with all the reverence of a true believer being bestowed a holy icon, picked up the package that Shego had recently 'acquired,' and launched straight back into full rant mode.
"So you say," Shego sighed, "But it seems to me that we're doing the same old song and dance we always do. You have me steal something from some 'top secret' government lab, then you come up with some hair brained scheme to takeover the world. After which the Princess and her buffoon come swinging to the rescue, they foil your 'greatest scheme ever' and BOOM we're lairless once again. Sorry Dr. D the scoreboard's against you, and I don't see it changing anytime soon."
"Oh you of little faith Shego!" Drakken admonished, "Now answer me this! What do, Alexander the Great, Julies Caesar, Blackbeard, Napoleon Bonaparte, Jesse James, and Al Capone all have in common?"
"Uh, their all kind of dead?" Shego guessed, not really seeing where Drakken was going with this.
"Ngghhh, well yes, but that's not important." Drakken snapped, "What is important is that each was a great world conqueror, a criminal mastermind or a truly evil and diabolical man; only slightly above my own caliber…"
"I don't know Dr. D; it's pretty hard to find someone who can self-foil like you can."
"Shego, what have we discussed about hurting with our words?" Drakken snapped angrily.
Shego pretended to think for a moment. "That it's quite fun, and usually needed?"
"SHEGO!"
A smile crossed Shego's black lips. Mocking Dr. D was as easy as it was fun. Drakken glared at the glamorous mercenary, as she merely grinned. When he was sure that Shego wasn't going to give him another snide comment, Drakken continued.
"As I was saying Shego, what they have in common is that they were some of the greatest conquers and criminal masterminds in history! Imagine if we could interrogate, or use my brain tap machine to drain them of all their knowledge! The possibilities are limitless!"
"Or limited." Shego mocked, "Seeing as they are all dust and bones now. That's got to be a record for you Dr. D! A plan already foiled before you were even able to get it off the drawing board."
"Aha! That is where you are wrong Shego! With the PDVI back in my grasp, I'm already well on my way to complete global domination!" Drakken exclaimed, as he lifted up the package, that Shego had recently 'acquired' on her latest outing.
"Why did you have me grab that thing again? Especially considering that this is the what, the third or fourth time I've stolen it?
"Third," Drakken absentmindedly corrected, as he held the device like a father holds his first born. "This completes Phase One of my ultimate plan; now we can move on to Phase Two."
One might wonder why Drakken and Shego were back on the villain track. Five years ago they had helped save the world from the Lowardians, and were exonerated from all their past crimes and misdeeds. Heck they even received a medal from the UN! It was true that the two of them had attempted to go straight; Drakken had even reapplied to Middleton College. He would finally get that Degree that had eluded him for all those years. Shego on the other hand went straight to vacationing, traveling to dozens of beaches, parties, resorts, blazing rays of sun and nothing but relaxation.
But as days, weeks, and months passed, both Drakken and Shego came to the conclusion that something was missing. While a wiz at programming and engineering, Drakken had become bored with his classes, even though he had built robots and devices more advanced than his professors had ever dreamed possible, much less the programming he had written to run them.
He quickly realized he had been designing advanced devices and programs since his foray into the world conquering business all those years ago. In fact he often reflected on the 'bad old days' while working on his latest inane project for his professors, he reflected on the thrill of building his latest doom laser and death ray, and the excitement he got from planning his latest take-over-the world-scheme. He found that he missed it; in fact he missed everything from Shego's lip, to Kim Possible annoying intervention.
Shego had also come to a somewhat similar conclusion, though at a far earlier time then Drakken did. It was an undisputed fact that Shego loved to relax on tropical beaches miles away from any annoying blue mad scientists and perky, teenaged, cheerleading heroines where she could stretch lazily out on beach chair, sipping on piña coladas while soaking up the tropical sun. Or indulge in her love of massive muscled bound and incredibly hot masseuses, bending over backwards for her tiniest whim. But after two months of this treatment, Shego had to admit that she was missing something.
It wasn't a mystery, she knew exactly why she was finding her current arrangement dull, she needed action, and a stimulating challenge. Something that her work with Drakken provided on an almost daily basis. So imagine her surprise when Drakken called her, not to check up on her as he did weekly, but to offer her a job, a contract and more importantly the challenge that could only be provided by a plot to take over the world. Plus the fact that as far as Shego knew Kimmie and her boy-toy weren't out of the saving the world biz, which suited her just fine, Kim provided the only actual challenge that law enforcement, could give her.
So within a year, the dastardly duo of Dr. Drakken and Shego were back to take over the world! That was if they could ever get a plan off the ground, and if they did, find away to keep the Princess and the buffoon from blowing it up. Truth be told, neither would have it any other way. Anything else just seemed to go against the natural order of things.
"For Phase Two Shego, we need to visit the home of a dear friend of ours."
"So we need to steal something else? Are you still 'outsourcing' as you call it?" Shego tone dripped with sarcasm.
"Yes, to both counts," Drakken answered as he hurried over to the hover car, either not noticing Shego's tone, or choosing to disregard it completely. "Besides this will be a piece of cake, Monkey Fist's still a stone statue in Japan, and his manor will be completely empty. All we have to do is waltz in grab the artifact and leave."
"Monkey Fist?" Shego raised an eyebrow, as she followed him. "What could he have that could be of interest to you? If I remember correctly he was only into artifacts and mystic mumbo-jumbo."
"You shall see Shego." Drakken answered cryptically as the car lifted up into bright summer day. "You shall see. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-"
"KNOCK IT OFF!" Shego screamed as a dull thump echoed out into the other wise peaceful atmosphere.
"Owwww… Shego!"
To be continued.
I know, I know. I promised Brood War, but due to computers being annoying I've lost most of my stuff instead I've instead delivered something completely different. Anyway I hope you enjoy this story that is a lot lighter than what I usually write but I just had this pop into my head and had to write it. I'll try and get my files back but I think they're gone for good, so I'll have to start the next Brood War chapter fresh again. Oh well. As always review and I'll try to get back to you.