1Defy You
It's not that I don't love my family. It's the opposite, it's because I do love them. It's because I love them and they don't seem to notice or seem to care. They either sneer, or push, or leave. I love my family, but that's why I can't do it.
My dad, my dad is amazing. No matter what he is or what he does, I can't ignore that fact. He is amazing, and he does show affection in his own twisted way. I was once told that he was never really shown affection much in his life, so it's no wonder why he finds it hard. But I still love him.
My sister is one of the most evil beings to ever grace the surface of this planet. Beautiful, I can't argue against a fact of genetics, devious, cruel and mean. If given half the chance she'd have the others enslaved and her face everywhere you looked. Thank whatever, whoever, that she isn't given that chance. She cares too I supposed. In her own way. Which pretty much amounts to helping me out of trouble when I managed to get into it. If I don't help her out of whatever trouble she's got into first.
Then there's the rest of the family. My mum, my terrible mother, I think if I could blame her I would. My grandparents, proud and pretentious, denying anything but what they deem to be right. My uncle, he's worse than my dad, insane to the hilt. My cousins, one who I don't think will ever be mentally stable again in all his immortal life. My family is definitely not normal, but I love them.
I can't be the one they're all searching for. I can't be the one to save them all, from the horrors and monsters who hunt us. We're called monster because we do what we have to do to survive, yet they hunt us down in cold blood and kill us for no reason, destroying families and ending lives. And we are the ones to be called monsters? Not that I can talk. I don't want to be like the rest of my family. I want to be normal, to defy them, to disown them. No, not to disown them, I just can't be what they want me to be.
At least, that's what I tell myself, and them, day in day out. I don't want to be a vampire. But then...just sometimes, I can't helping thinking, maybe it's not all that bad. Maybe I can do it. Maybe I actually want the power to scare those who want to hurt my family. Maybe I do want to be one. To be...to be...
When I entered the dream world, I didn't know what to think. I wasn't supposed to be there, no-one got there before their 16th birthday, it just wasn't something that happened. The secrets behind the dreamworld as some of the most important that vampires keep. You only find out about it, as I discovered, on full completion of your blood tests. No-one gets to go there early. No-one.
I did.
It scared me. When I was young, and we were still living in Transylvania, Dad always told me myths of the great vampires of the past. I loved them, I wanted to be like those vampires. Of course this was before I fully realised what being a vampire entailed, and long before mum had left us. I can't help but wonder if mum leaving was one of the reason I swore off the vampire life. The point is that yeah, I did want to be like these great vampires, then I didn't. Then I enter the dreamworld.
It's oddly peaceful there, enjoyable even. Despite the whole 'if you're slain there you die' aspect to it. It's one of the few worlds where the truth is the main point. That doesn't make sense. To make it simple, when you're told something in the dream world, it is true. According to my dad, its how some vampires keep in contact, warning each other of new slayer threats. And for the constant search for the Chosen One.
I can't be him.
I don't even want to be a vampire most of the time, how can I be this almighty Chosen One to lead vampires to glory. I can't do it. I just, I can't. I love my family, and I can't do it to them. I lied to my father when he asked, I didn't want to see his reaction if his hopes where confirmed.
I'm not scared of being evil anymore. That fear died. I'm scared of letting them down.
It's because I love my family that I can't be the Chosen One. I don't want to break their hearts by failing.