Title: Doushite?
Author: Hikari
Email: machi_no_tenshi@excite.com
Rated: PG-13
Part: Part 1
Disclamer and Traditional Warnings...
This fanfiction takes place right after the end of Hikaru no Go:
Volume 15. Due to the rating you can expect Mild Shounen-Ai,
and my paring of choice is Hikaru x Akira. This story is my own
and will hope that no one posts it else where without my permission.
Also, just in case you're wondering, 'doushite' means 'why.'
DOUSHITE?
Part 1: WHEN?
Touya Akira stared intently at his computer screen and the
game currently being played. Who ever his opponent was, not only
took a long time to place his moves but was inexperienced enough
to not know when to quit. After passing a hand briskly over his
features, he moved the mouse towards the button and resigned. He
had no desire to play with fools at this moment.
'Why?' he asked himself as he reclined in his chair. 'Why?'
It was the one word that had been bouncing around in his
mind ever since his encounter with Shindo in the library. He
couldn't understand his reasoning for forfeiting all those games.
Hadn't he gotten this far because he had been chasing after him?
They still hadn't played. Shindo should not have been satisfied
with that. He still had to show him how good he was!!
The small picture frame next to his screen fell over from
the force of his blow on the desk. He balled his hand into a
tighter fist. "Why?"
Then, like a gentle hand placed on his shoulder, he felt
the cool breeze sooth his spirit. Touya closed his eyes and let
his body relax. 'A year… no, a little more than that.' But, had
it really been that long ago since Shindo and him had first met?
All his life had been planned in a straight path traveled
with the sole purpose to surpass his father, and all that was
changed by a chance encounter with a boy. 'Had Ogata-san been
right when he had said that he held more drive for things when
ever Shindo was involved?' And, what of the mysteries behind it?
Sai and Shindo, Shindo and Sai... "Who are you really Shindo?"
Touya wondered.
Suddenly, his eyes became focused and as he stared at his
book on Shuusaku's Kifus it all became clear to him. He would get
to the bottom of it, because this wasn't the rival he knew. 'This
mystery has an answer,' he thought to himself as he picked up the
book. 'And he would get that answer out of Shindo if it was the
last thing he did.'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Green eyes wandered aimlessly over the ceiling's texture.
It seemed like no matter how much time passed, Sai would not be
coming back. Hikaru turned on his side and looked out his window
from his huddled position on the bed. Calm blue sky...
Softly, the wind blew on the curtains and the warm air that
circulated about began to lull him into sleep. It would be ok to
forget –to pretend as if it had never happened. It would be ok to
quit something he should never have begun. His brow furrowed as he
shut his eyes tighter thinking, 'Aren't you ever coming back?'
'Hikaru...'
'Sai?' he wondered in his dreamy state. The sound had been
so faint he had barely caught it.
'Hikaru...'
He opened his eyes. He could almost swear to have heard it
this time. 'Sai?!' The boy sat up and looked desperately around
his room. 'SAI?!'
"Hikaru..."
His eyes fell on the closed bedroom door. 'It wasn't him,'
he realized now recognizing his mother's voice. All hope had fled
from him with the droop of his shoulders. Yet it was soon replaced
with self-hate as his clumsy hand came up to dry the new coursing
tears. 'Baka!' he yelled.
"Shindo Hikaru!!"
'So incessant! Couldn't she just leave him alone?' Within
seconds he was at his door, yanking it open and yelling in response,
"WHAT?!"
Down from the foyer, he could hear his mother's worried
voice say, "You have a visitor."
"I- " he hesitated. "I don't want to see anybody." He
replied as he closed the door to his sanctuary and returned to his
bed. Rolling over towards the window, Hikaru tried to return to
that numb state he had nearly been in, but as he lay back down on
his bed reality refused to disappear. Like a young child, he
grabbed his pillow and pulled it to his chest hugging it fiercely,
only then did he proceed to cry.
A couple of minutes later he heard a knock at his door,
and, when he didn't answer the first time, the call was repeated.
'Why couldn't he just cry in peace?' he asked himself as he yelled,
"GO AWAY."
"So, you're just planning to hide out here in your room?"
Hikaru's tears seized immediately as his eyes widened in
dawning recognition. 'It was him... it just had to be...' And he
hadn't even heard his door open!
"Well?"
He turned around, half hoping that he really wasn't there
and he that had misheard his voice like what had happened before.
However, as his eyes connected with piercing blue ones, he knew that
Touya Akira was truly in his room. 'Don't look at me like that!'
he wanted to call out, because he didn't feel like he deserved it.
His features became wary as he stared at Touya. "What are you doing
here?"
Touya wondered about that too. 'What had brought him here?'
He wished he knew. Lowering his head, strands of forest green hair
fell forward hiding his features. Sharp eyes examined the room only
to keep returning to the goban situated next to the entertainment
center. "Why did you quit?" he asked as his eyes caught the dust on
it with sadness.
Hikaru gave him his profile. "I told you," he began
repeating his past saying again. "I'm no good." 'It was Sai,'
his thoughts continued. 'Sai who you chased... Sai who was good...
Not me. Not me...'
"That's not true," Touya said, "I think you're good!" his
eyes determined on his task. He would find out what had happened!
"You don't know that..." he insisted. "You haven't played
me yet."
"I'VE PLAYED YOU BEFORE!" he countered angry.
"That doesn't count!" Hikaru quickly threw back as he
squeezed his pillow harder. 'That was Sai…'
However, his words were just drowned out as Touya went on
saying, "and you wouldn't have gotten this far if you didn't have
the skills!"
"That doesn't count!!" he repeated –his voice desperate.
"THEN PLAY ME!!" He yelled as he squeezed his fists.
"NO!" Hikaru yelled as tears ran down his cheeks. "Leave me
alone!"
His hands became lax as his blue eyes watched Shindo cry.
He felt his heart clench and simply breathing became harder to do.
What ever had happened to him must have been really serious.
"Shin...do-kun..." he walked closer to the boy's bed. "What's
wrong?" he asked concerned.
Hikaru just cried silently, hugging his pillow tighter every
now and then.
Hesitantly, Touya placed his hand on top of Hikaru's head.
His fingers dipped within the boy's soft hair as he raked it in a
soothing manner. Crouching down to the boy's height, he proceeded
to push the yellow bangs away from his eyes. Shindo's features were
dipped in misery and Akira could feel his heart breaking slowly at
seeing him like this. But why did it pain him so? Was it because
they were rivals?
His rough hand gently wiped away the boy's tears from his
warm round cheeks. Touya's eyes looked on in pain and before he
knew it, he too could feel tears run down his face. He rested his
forehead against Hikaru's and sighed. 'Why did he cry too?'
As if caught in a play, his moves came just naturally as he
kissed Hikaru's cheek, then lower, and lower... until tentatively
he brushed his lips against the boy's. It was a soft brief meeting
and a chaste on at that, but when his mouth dipped again Akira
almost wanted to demand his rival to rise up to the challenge.
Hikaru felt the pressure at his lips. The warmth pressed
against him felt so comforting. He could feel Touya's hand move
towards the back of his head, supporting its weight as he learned
into it. But the moment was not meant to be, because when he
relaxed and parted his lips slightly, the sensation of Touya
slipping within became too much. Hikaru jerked backwards in
surprise as both of their eyes flew open.
"I... I..." Touya stammered as his thoughts became
disjointed. 'Did he just?' What had happened? Why? And how?
Shindo just stared at him, unsure as how to respond. His
eyes were wet with tears but at that moment, he could not recall
the reason for his sadness. Did it really- ? Had Touya really
kissed him just seconds ago?
To be continued...
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Author's Notes:
It's been a while minna, has it not? Close to about 2 years since
I had thought I had given up writing fanfiction. Yet, the need to
write things I can share with the world and hear your opinions on
them is also a great motivation. I must say, I'm still amazed to
get reviews for fanfictions I had finished a lot time ago. So,
maybe I can give this another go, ne? (No pun intended!)
Please don't forget to review, I'd like to know if people are
actually reading this so to post the next chapter. Arigatou.
att: Hikari
Author: Hikari
Email: machi_no_tenshi@excite.com
Rated: PG-13
Part: Part 1
Disclamer and Traditional Warnings...
This fanfiction takes place right after the end of Hikaru no Go:
Volume 15. Due to the rating you can expect Mild Shounen-Ai,
and my paring of choice is Hikaru x Akira. This story is my own
and will hope that no one posts it else where without my permission.
Also, just in case you're wondering, 'doushite' means 'why.'
DOUSHITE?
Part 1: WHEN?
Touya Akira stared intently at his computer screen and the
game currently being played. Who ever his opponent was, not only
took a long time to place his moves but was inexperienced enough
to not know when to quit. After passing a hand briskly over his
features, he moved the mouse towards the button and resigned. He
had no desire to play with fools at this moment.
'Why?' he asked himself as he reclined in his chair. 'Why?'
It was the one word that had been bouncing around in his
mind ever since his encounter with Shindo in the library. He
couldn't understand his reasoning for forfeiting all those games.
Hadn't he gotten this far because he had been chasing after him?
They still hadn't played. Shindo should not have been satisfied
with that. He still had to show him how good he was!!
The small picture frame next to his screen fell over from
the force of his blow on the desk. He balled his hand into a
tighter fist. "Why?"
Then, like a gentle hand placed on his shoulder, he felt
the cool breeze sooth his spirit. Touya closed his eyes and let
his body relax. 'A year… no, a little more than that.' But, had
it really been that long ago since Shindo and him had first met?
All his life had been planned in a straight path traveled
with the sole purpose to surpass his father, and all that was
changed by a chance encounter with a boy. 'Had Ogata-san been
right when he had said that he held more drive for things when
ever Shindo was involved?' And, what of the mysteries behind it?
Sai and Shindo, Shindo and Sai... "Who are you really Shindo?"
Touya wondered.
Suddenly, his eyes became focused and as he stared at his
book on Shuusaku's Kifus it all became clear to him. He would get
to the bottom of it, because this wasn't the rival he knew. 'This
mystery has an answer,' he thought to himself as he picked up the
book. 'And he would get that answer out of Shindo if it was the
last thing he did.'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Green eyes wandered aimlessly over the ceiling's texture.
It seemed like no matter how much time passed, Sai would not be
coming back. Hikaru turned on his side and looked out his window
from his huddled position on the bed. Calm blue sky...
Softly, the wind blew on the curtains and the warm air that
circulated about began to lull him into sleep. It would be ok to
forget –to pretend as if it had never happened. It would be ok to
quit something he should never have begun. His brow furrowed as he
shut his eyes tighter thinking, 'Aren't you ever coming back?'
'Hikaru...'
'Sai?' he wondered in his dreamy state. The sound had been
so faint he had barely caught it.
'Hikaru...'
He opened his eyes. He could almost swear to have heard it
this time. 'Sai?!' The boy sat up and looked desperately around
his room. 'SAI?!'
"Hikaru..."
His eyes fell on the closed bedroom door. 'It wasn't him,'
he realized now recognizing his mother's voice. All hope had fled
from him with the droop of his shoulders. Yet it was soon replaced
with self-hate as his clumsy hand came up to dry the new coursing
tears. 'Baka!' he yelled.
"Shindo Hikaru!!"
'So incessant! Couldn't she just leave him alone?' Within
seconds he was at his door, yanking it open and yelling in response,
"WHAT?!"
Down from the foyer, he could hear his mother's worried
voice say, "You have a visitor."
"I- " he hesitated. "I don't want to see anybody." He
replied as he closed the door to his sanctuary and returned to his
bed. Rolling over towards the window, Hikaru tried to return to
that numb state he had nearly been in, but as he lay back down on
his bed reality refused to disappear. Like a young child, he
grabbed his pillow and pulled it to his chest hugging it fiercely,
only then did he proceed to cry.
A couple of minutes later he heard a knock at his door,
and, when he didn't answer the first time, the call was repeated.
'Why couldn't he just cry in peace?' he asked himself as he yelled,
"GO AWAY."
"So, you're just planning to hide out here in your room?"
Hikaru's tears seized immediately as his eyes widened in
dawning recognition. 'It was him... it just had to be...' And he
hadn't even heard his door open!
"Well?"
He turned around, half hoping that he really wasn't there
and he that had misheard his voice like what had happened before.
However, as his eyes connected with piercing blue ones, he knew that
Touya Akira was truly in his room. 'Don't look at me like that!'
he wanted to call out, because he didn't feel like he deserved it.
His features became wary as he stared at Touya. "What are you doing
here?"
Touya wondered about that too. 'What had brought him here?'
He wished he knew. Lowering his head, strands of forest green hair
fell forward hiding his features. Sharp eyes examined the room only
to keep returning to the goban situated next to the entertainment
center. "Why did you quit?" he asked as his eyes caught the dust on
it with sadness.
Hikaru gave him his profile. "I told you," he began
repeating his past saying again. "I'm no good." 'It was Sai,'
his thoughts continued. 'Sai who you chased... Sai who was good...
Not me. Not me...'
"That's not true," Touya said, "I think you're good!" his
eyes determined on his task. He would find out what had happened!
"You don't know that..." he insisted. "You haven't played
me yet."
"I'VE PLAYED YOU BEFORE!" he countered angry.
"That doesn't count!" Hikaru quickly threw back as he
squeezed his pillow harder. 'That was Sai…'
However, his words were just drowned out as Touya went on
saying, "and you wouldn't have gotten this far if you didn't have
the skills!"
"That doesn't count!!" he repeated –his voice desperate.
"THEN PLAY ME!!" He yelled as he squeezed his fists.
"NO!" Hikaru yelled as tears ran down his cheeks. "Leave me
alone!"
His hands became lax as his blue eyes watched Shindo cry.
He felt his heart clench and simply breathing became harder to do.
What ever had happened to him must have been really serious.
"Shin...do-kun..." he walked closer to the boy's bed. "What's
wrong?" he asked concerned.
Hikaru just cried silently, hugging his pillow tighter every
now and then.
Hesitantly, Touya placed his hand on top of Hikaru's head.
His fingers dipped within the boy's soft hair as he raked it in a
soothing manner. Crouching down to the boy's height, he proceeded
to push the yellow bangs away from his eyes. Shindo's features were
dipped in misery and Akira could feel his heart breaking slowly at
seeing him like this. But why did it pain him so? Was it because
they were rivals?
His rough hand gently wiped away the boy's tears from his
warm round cheeks. Touya's eyes looked on in pain and before he
knew it, he too could feel tears run down his face. He rested his
forehead against Hikaru's and sighed. 'Why did he cry too?'
As if caught in a play, his moves came just naturally as he
kissed Hikaru's cheek, then lower, and lower... until tentatively
he brushed his lips against the boy's. It was a soft brief meeting
and a chaste on at that, but when his mouth dipped again Akira
almost wanted to demand his rival to rise up to the challenge.
Hikaru felt the pressure at his lips. The warmth pressed
against him felt so comforting. He could feel Touya's hand move
towards the back of his head, supporting its weight as he learned
into it. But the moment was not meant to be, because when he
relaxed and parted his lips slightly, the sensation of Touya
slipping within became too much. Hikaru jerked backwards in
surprise as both of their eyes flew open.
"I... I..." Touya stammered as his thoughts became
disjointed. 'Did he just?' What had happened? Why? And how?
Shindo just stared at him, unsure as how to respond. His
eyes were wet with tears but at that moment, he could not recall
the reason for his sadness. Did it really- ? Had Touya really
kissed him just seconds ago?
To be continued...
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Author's Notes:
It's been a while minna, has it not? Close to about 2 years since
I had thought I had given up writing fanfiction. Yet, the need to
write things I can share with the world and hear your opinions on
them is also a great motivation. I must say, I'm still amazed to
get reviews for fanfictions I had finished a lot time ago. So,
maybe I can give this another go, ne? (No pun intended!)
Please don't forget to review, I'd like to know if people are
actually reading this so to post the next chapter. Arigatou.
att: Hikari