Title: The Truth be Known
Author: rooster dawn
pairing: Harm and Mac
Summary: What would have really happen if Harm took the bull by the horns.
Spoiler: Lifeline to Adrift II
Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.
Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed.
part 1 The Engagement Party
1900 hours
12 May 2001
Admiral's home
It was a mild spring evening in May. It was a little warmer than normal for that time of year. Mac had just arrived at the Admiral's house with Mic. It was her engagement party.
She was happy at the thought of sharing her happiness with getting married with all her friends. The only way she thought she could possibly be any happier was if she marrying Harm and not Mic.
But such was not the case. As far as she knew and despite what everyone had been telling her for many years, Harm didn't love her. Or at least not enough to tell her or want to marry her. She had made the decision last year to move on with her life, Harmon Rabb be damm.
The Admiral met Mac and Mic at the door and invited them in. Mac gave him a warm smile. Mic as usual had his shit eating grin on his face. The look that said he got something he always wanted, but didn't necessary deserve.
Mac was surprised to see many of the Jag staff already present. She had always prided herself to being on time and was usually one of the first ones to arrive.
But if there was one common thread between Harm and Mic, it was their inability to be where they were supposed to be on time. No matter how much prodding she did, Mic did things at his own pace.
Mic had wanted a quick one before they left, but Mac had already showered and dressed. She was ready to go. The last thing she wanted at that point in time was to get dirty and sweaty just to satisfy Mic's need to mark his territory.
Mic of course wasn't very happy about that. To him the first duty of a wife was to take care of her husband's needs whenever it was needed, that is ASAP. And when Mic didn't get what he wanted, he usually got quite moody for a time afterwards.
Mac saw Harriet talking with Carolyn and Jackie Mattonie. She quickly separated herself from Mic and went over to talk to them while leaving Mic alone to talk to the Admiral.
Five minutes later Mac saw Harm arrived. The video princess wasn't with him Mac observed. She was a bit surprised. She figured tonight of all nights Renee would be glued to Harm's side.
She would be staking her claim on her flyboy, letting everyone especially Mac know that Harm was hers, not Mac. Harm saw Mac over by the refreshment table. He went over to get a drink.
"Where's Renee, Harm? You know it was alright if you wanted to bring her tonight." teased Mac.
"She's running late. She's shooting a spaghetti commercial. She'll be here shortly." replied Harm wondering why they were talking about Renee.
"Why don't we go outside and sit on the porch. We can talk while you wait for her." offered Mac.
Harm led her to the porch guiding her with his hand on the small of her back. They walk outside onto the porch and sat down on one of the benches. Their exit hadn't gone unnoticed. Mic's temper began to do a slow boil.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay inside the house? It is your engagement party." asked Harm.
"They can get along for a short time without me." replied Mac.
"I can't believe that I'm here at your engagement party." commented Harm solemnly.
"What? You don't think anyone would want to married me?" asked a surprised Mac.
"No it's not that, I just figured ... I don't know ... it wouldn't be now." replied Harm.
"You know this could have been our engagement party if you had just let go." responded Mac tenderly as she reached up to touch his arm.
"I don't think this is the time or place to talk about that Mac." moaned Harm.
"I think we should talk about it Harm. I want to know what you're thinking and feeling right now." demanded Mac.
"Ok Mac, but not here. I don't feel comfortable doing it here with everyone right inside. I think we need to go somewhere else to talk." relented Harm.
"Where do you want to talk?" asked Mac.
"Come with me." replied Harm as he took her hand and led her away from the porch.
Harm led her to his SUV. They got in and drove away. They drove passed Renee a few miles down the road. She honk her horn when she saw his SUV, but Harm just drove by her. Harm hadn't see her, he was on a mission.
For once in his life he wasn't going to allow himself to be distracted by anyone. He was going to tell Sarah how he really felt. He kept on driving. Forty minutes later Harm parked his SUV at the edge of the beach on the ocean.
"Why did you bring me here Harm?" asked Mac softly.
"This is where I come when I need to think about what's important to me." replied Harm.
"Am I important to you Harm?" asked Mac softly.
"That's why we're here Sarah." replied Harm.
Meanwhile back at the Admiral's house Renee arrived and went in to talk with the Admiral and Mic.
"Is the party over already? I just saw Harm and Mac leaving. Where was Harm going?" asked Renee.
"No, the party just started Renee. I thought I saw Harm go out onto the back porch with Mac. He said something about waiting for you out there." replied the Admiral.
"He can't be on the porch, I just saw him driving away as I was coming up the road." whined Renee.
"Come on Luv, let's go out on the porch and get them." mumbled Mic as he took her arm and led her away. He had already down a couple of cold ones and was starting to feel lubricated.
They went outside onto the porch. Mic looked around but didn't see anyone. He then walked down the back steps into the back yard and looked around hoping that they were only taking a walk, but he didn't see them there either.
"Did you find them Mic?" asked Renee.
"No, there's no one out here. Maybe they went back inside." whined Mic.
They went back inside the house. Mic saw Harriet talking with Bud. If anyone knew what was going on it would be her. She had her nose into everything.
"Good evening Harriet. I was wondering if you have seen Sarah. I haven't seen her in awhile. I need to give her, her eight o'clock kiss." asked a nervous Mic.
"No Sir. I haven't seen her since she went out on the porch with the Commander. I didn't see them come back in." smiled Harriet uneasily before letting out a belch.
"Damm you Rabb!" mumbled Mic to himself.
Back at the beach Harm had taken a blanket out of the back of his SUV. He then led Mac down onto the beach where they walked along the edge of the ocean for another ten minutes before stopping and sitting down on the blanket.
"Can we talk now Harm? We've been gone for fifty two minutes forty one seconds. They're going to start missing us." asked Mac showing a little impatience with him.
She knew she needed to give him some time. Rushing him only led to him to putting up his walls and becoming tight lipped. If she was going to get him to talk she would have to be patience. Unfortunately there was a time limit for tonight and they were approaching it very quickly.
"I guess so Mac. What do you want to know?" asked Harm.
"Why did you rejected me that night on the ferry?" asked Mac.
"I put my heart out there on the line. I asked you when was it going to our turn to be together. I pretty much told you I love you that night. I had waited four years and two girlfriends for you by that time"
"I'm sorry Mac, but I didn't reject you that night. I only asked you for a little more time. Our relationship at that time had been a little strained.
We hadn't gotten back to that comfortable place where we were before I screwed things up when I left to fly. You really surprised me that night. The last thing I was expecting from you that night was that you wanted to talk about was us.
You blew me away. I need a night or two to think about what you said and what you wanted, but when you came back with his ring. I thought you had made up your mind and made your choice.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to communicate better with you that I needed more time Sarah." replied Harm taking a hold of her hand.
"My choice has always been you Harm. I never dated Mic while you were gone. I had to work with him. I didn't have a choice. He turned out to be an okay guy once I got to know him, but I never wanted him.
The reason I asked you about us in Australia was because we usually can be ourselves and talk when we are away from Washington. You were the one I wanted that night. You were the one I wanted when we left Australia.
The night in question Mic asked me to marry him. I was flattered. I loved the idea that someone love me enough to want to marry me, but I told him no. There was no way I could marry him.
I didn't know him that way or that well. He forced me to take his ring. He put it on my right hand. I only kept it there and kissed him to make you jealous.
I wanted to let you know what I wanted from you. Also if you didn't want me, there were others that did. Sooner or later if you didn't act I would marry someone else." responded Mac.
"I'm sorry Sarah. I guess I misunderstood what was happening. I thought you really didn't love me when I saw you wearing his ring." wailed Harm.
"Why didn't you talk to me Harm? Why did you have to go to Renee when we got back? I thought you didn't like her?" asked a puzzled Mac.
"You took his ring. So I moved on. Renee was there. She was fun to be with." replied Harm a little angrily.
"But I still don't understand. You don't like Mic. Why would you let him have me without a fight?" asked Mac.
"I thought you were happy with him. All I wanted was for you to be happy." replied Harm solemnly.
"What do you want Harm?" asked Mac.
"To never lose you Sarah. I love you. I have for a long time." replied Harm.
"If you love me Harm, why haven't you fought for me Harm? I waited for you to tell me you love me for five years Harm. Ever since you took me flying in your plane.
I only move the ring over when you decided you rather be with Sergei and not me." responded Mac as tears began to form in her eyes.
"Ever since Mic returned to Washington you seemed to be happy with him. I didn't think you cared for me by then. So I was ready to go after Sergei because I thought he was only one I had left." replied Harm.
"Harm, you're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere. Even if I marry Mic, I will still be here at JAG." responded Mac.
"But Sarah, I don't think you truly understand. As you once told me Mic gave up his life and career to come here to be with you. And I'm sure that as long as he had you and was working he was happy to stay here.
But as you know he hasn't been able to find work for quite some time. Mic is a lifer. He's a thirty year man at least." argued Harm.
"I'm not going anywhere Harm. Believe me when I tell you that." Mac replied as she tried to assure Harm.
"But somewhere down the line Sarah if he can't find a job soon he's going to want to return to Australia. You must know that. He's going to expect you to go with him.
After all the sacrifices he made for you, he will expect you to do the same for him. He's from the old school Sarah. He believes the man provides for the family and the wife stays home with the kids." answered Harm.
"Well, then he'll go home alone. My life is here at JAG. All my friends are here, you're here. I'm not going anywhere." replied Mac adamantly.