So, hello, I am back with a new idea! I am actually really excited for this! This is something I don't think I've ever done before and this is just making me so ecstatic for you guys to be able to read this piece of mine. So get ready for one of the most centric Ally AU fanfic you could read.
Now I don't know how long this story will be but I do know it is not going to be a long one. I think It'll only have three or four by the way I have things planned out. But who knows maybe it'll only be two or maybe it'll magically reach five. And I have no clue when I'll be posting chapter two, I'm currently working on it and I'm only in the beginning of it so it'll be awhile, maybe not if I'm in the mood for some writing later this weekend. But either way, I hope you guys stick around to finish this new AU fic of mine. I hope you guys will like it enough to review, to favorite this story, to follow it, anything.
(Dedicated to anyone who has had a hard breakup and couldn't let them go)
And a happy happy HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUT to my big sis on her 20th. This is not a day late April fool's joke, it is a legit thing! She is now just as old as Laura and Ross! Okay, I'm going to stop writing random crap and let you guys read what I am actually wanting you guys to read.
Without further ado...
How Can I Not Love You
Their breakup was clean, no fighting, no yelling, nothing; it was just a calm, saddish conversation in their living room on the couch about what she wanted and what he wanted.
Well now his living room since it was never hers in the beginning. She basically called it their place since Ally practically spent every free time she had at his. And when he gave her a key to his place that only brought her thinking about what they had was an actual relationship.
It was a mutual breakup they both claimed, but she knew it was him who initiated it first. Yeah, walking in on him having sex with someone else in their once bedroom was awkward for her and she should have been mad, but she wasn't; it wasn't like they were exclusive, she had no right to be mad. They had never put a label on what they were, but they both knew that whatever was happening between them was close to having an actual committed relationship, so she thought.
He had wanted her to stay to talk about what had just happened, so she did. Waiting for the other woman to leave was a little maladroit for Ally. All she did was smile at him while they were waiting for his bedmate to leave.
They faced each other when she did actually leave. Ally smiled at the guy and he gave her a smile that always made her melt, and it was still affecting her.
"So um- that was unexpected," Ally said finally. And it was unexpected. She had thought they were more exclusive than that but she now realizes she misread the whole her and him connection wrong. The were doing everything that official couples do, so she just assumed they were together together. Ally understood now why exclusive couples always talked about what they were. She just always thought that talking about that kind of stuff made it just cheesy and that kind of couple. In her head being that kind of couple was bad, but maybe being that couple is an idea needed in the relationship in order for it to work.
"I'm sorry," that was all he could say to her.
"No, no, it's fine. I mean we weren't actually together so I guess you can sleep with anyone you want." She didn't have the heart to yell at him. He was actually a sweet guy; his heart is always in the right place and it was always so adorable watching him whenever he talked about his love for things. Ally just found him so irresistible.
"You shouldn't had to see that though. I'm so sorry." He went to Ally and hugged her; he kept on hugging and whispering that he was sorry. And it was sweet of him, it was so him.
"What are we going to do?" Ally muttered to him while still hugging. Her brown chocolate eyes were closed so she didn't see his shrug, but she did feel it.
"I think we both know what is going to happen next." Tears were starting to form, but she had to keep her collected self in front of him; at least keeping the charade up until she left his place.
"I know, but I just don't want it to happen." Her soft angelic voice made him hold onto her tighter. He just didn't want to let her go yet, both physically and emotionally. "I'm ready to settle down though, you're not. I want a steady relationship where I know it is an actual relationship." Ally was still holding in her tears, she needed to be strong, showing him that she's not making a mistake for letting him go.
"You deserve better than me." He really is making it hard on Ally for sticking to her ground.
Ally pulls back and looks at his beautiful dark blue eyes. "I hope in the future you would want to have the feeling of wanting to have a steady relationship. I hope that person, whoever it may be, gives you an exciting relationship, making you want to have the whole deal." Ally was sincere on this, she does wish him for the best. "But I'm just sad I couldn't have been that person for you, for that I'm sorry." And by the end, Ally was crying, she couldn't hold it all together; and that makes her even more sad. She doesn't want him to have that kind of power over him. She did truly love him, of course she never outright say her feelings towards him, but she did show her love to him and it was obvious, he was oblivious to it all though. Ally genuinely wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with her.
"Ally," and he looked so sad.
"Do you regret what you did?" She was afraid for him to answer the question, she didn't want to know but she had to know. After what felt like forever, she comes to a conclusion that he won't answer her question. He doesn't regret what he did she concluded, and that one did hurt her inappreciably. She got out of his grasp and stood up from the couch heading towards the door. Ally was about to walk away down to the elevators but she turns around and looks up at him still with tears in her eyes.
"What were we?"
He sighs in defeat, "I don't even know." Ally nodded her head with new tears coming out. She's about to walk away finally but he reaches for her arm and pulls her back into a hug. With a cracked whisper into her ear, "I did have feelings for you though," and then he kissed her on the forehead. He let her go and wiped her tears away gently, "goodbye, Ally Dawson."
Her walk is slower than normal; partially due to her tears clouding her vision, but mainly Ally was hoping that he would stop her one more time. When she reaches the elevator down the hallway, she knows it's over, for real.
Inconsiderably grateful that the elevator was taking awhile because it gave a little hope in her that he would come rushing out to her and say things that would make them become a couple, just like in movies at the end when the boy realizes his love and declares it to the girl. That is all Ally wants from him, that he regrets what he did, that he wants to be with her, that he loves her.
While still waiting for the elevator and for him to come rushing to her, a tall, blond, man opened his apartment a few doors down from the elevators. She felt like he wanted to say something to her but he decided against it, she was thankful for that. She lifted her head up when the elevator doors dinged open. Ally thought she saw through her peripheral vision a smile forming on the stranger's face, but she wasn't for sure; she completely turned her head and was only set on looking down the hall one last time to see if he was running to see her.
And he did, she saw him closing his door running towards the elevator. Let fate have it, if the doors close before he gets to her, then she knows that it's over over. She walked slowly into the elevator hoping for his arrival just in time before the door closes shut.
He stuck his arm into the elevator inches before it was completely shut and Ally was mentally leaping for joy.
"Oh, so glad I caught you in time!"
"Really?" She gave a hint of joy towards him. It's happening, the moment she has been waiting for, the moment when in the end of the movies the boy and girl finally get together. Her heart is already pounding for the excitement of his proclaim towards her.
"Yeah," he smiled. Then he held out a familiar looking bag, in fact it was familiar because it was hers! "You almost left your bag." She grabbed it out of his hand in deflate right before the doors closed. That wasn't what she was expecting.
Her face was emotionless, that definitely wasn't what she was prepared for. Her hopes for him just shattered into millions of pieces. So he wasn't the guy in the end of the movie, she had just lost him, forever.
"Ouch, that's rough," a deep voice came from behind.
It was the same blond guy that came out of his apartment. She saw in the elevator door's reflection that his candid facial expression made her want to punch something. She does not need anyone's pity, especially a stranger's pittiness!
"Thanks," she sarcastically replied with a sour look.
It looked like he was going out on a date because he looked like he was dressed for it, not well. His tight dark blue t-shirt fit him so well you could see his biceps and his built up abs. So the top half was okay, but his pants, he was wearing jeans with holes, very gentlemen like. The black converse were alright but really, the pants were a horrible choice for a date outfit. Honestly, his date will probably drool looking at his upper body that she will look past his choice of pants, Ally knows she would if she was the date of his. But his hair, his hair looked like he had just got done with sex and that disturbed her even more having his presence around her. His blond disheveled hair looked so good on him though. And his veins popping out of his arm, wow. Holy hotness. She can't even look past his pity presumptuous forming grin with that stance he has. She knew that he knew she was checking him out. Damn it.
She dialed her friend's number to come pick her up from his apartment building. And she was still on the phone when the elevator dinged opened to the dark fluorescent light in the kind of smallish, barren lobby.
Automatically she goes to the bench outside to wait for her friend. Behind her, she slightly turns to see he was going to the many rusted mailboxes. After a minute of checking his mail and throwing them away, he walks towards the door. She turns her head quickly again pretending she wasn't watching him. And he passes her without barely any acknowledgement of her existence. Her head can't help but follow the direction he was going but he turns around slightly and slightly gives a wave with a smirk, not a pity grin, a full on smirk this time; and then he continues to walk down heading to the apartment building's garage.
She snaps out of her stare looking down when she hears a honk minutes later. She looks over to the car and sees her saving best friend on her phone already. But she turns her head again one more time in the direction she was looking at, and he's gone. Ally doesn't know how long she has been staring at nothing. She got up and went in the car silently. Ally didn't tell her curly haired short best friend the whole story on what happened. But the Latina knew something bad happened between her and him.
Ally had thought that her best friend would take her to get ice cream then sit at their apartment watching sad movies on netflix, but no. She drives them in a different direction, complete opposite. Instead they arrive at a club she's been in a total of one time. Her best friend didn't know but it's the same club she met him at. She begs and begs to not go in, all she wanted to do was sit at home watching her go to breakup movie.
She glares at her friend as she is literally being pushed in through the doors. But no worries, when she was here the last time she had to use the bathroom, and she came across accidently a window that opened up leading to outside the back of the club.
Her best friend goes to the dance floor automatically thinking Ally would follow her. Whenever they are out in public with only just them, she follows Trish everywhere, Ally just hates being alone out in public.
Luckily the bathroom have many stalls so she doesn't have to wait outside the bathroom door. Ally heads towards the window thinking it was still the same window but when she tried opening it, it wouldn't budge open. She's putting all her muscles into trying to open it but it still wouldn't move, at all, not in the slightest.
A young woman looking at her reflection looks over at Ally and laughs a little bit. "Honey, you're not going to open that, it's locked so people can't try to sneak in," her voice sneered at Ally like in a duh kind of tone. The blond bimbo dressed in a really short skimpy dress just silently, but not really judged Ally at what she was doing.
And so Ally grudgingly heads back out to the commotion. She heads to bar area and orders apple juice. She's not one to get alcohol in her body over a breakup. But now that she's thinking about it she might as well since she interpreted her non existing relationship as a relationship with him, but she doesn't, she'll keep the remaining pride she still has.
Ally thinks back to what happen, she thought he would have more class. But she still couldn't get mad at him because he was so kind about the break up that wasn't really a break up because they weren't actually together. He's the kind of guy that she would go back to if he asked, she would go back to him in a heartbeat.
Stop it, Ally, pull yourself together. He can't have this power over her emotionally but he does and it drives her crazy because she wants him back so badly. Maybe if she calls him to see what he's doing- that wouldn't be any harm, right?
Once her apple juice is empty she orders more. Ally is midway drinking her juice when she hears a voice behind her.
Her friend prys the drink out of Ally's hand and begs for her to come dancing with her. Ally shakes her head vigorously and takes her drink out of Trish's hands.
"Ally," she whines even more. "Forget about country douchebag and dance with me."
"He's not though," Ally softly said, "and his country accent is cute."
"Girl, he cheated on you, He had sex on your bed with a different women, he's a tool, Ally."
"Trish." Ally gave a sad look to her friend. Only she would know that face, the face of "just drop it and don't mention it ever again."
"Fine, drink your stupid apple juice and just mope. Come find me when you realize he's a douche." Ally was appalled by her friend's comment. Usually Trish would just let it slide and go on about what she was going to do with Ally but alone.
Like another 10 minutes later she finishes her second glass and ask for more, but she's feeling prideless and orders champagne.
Replaying the image over and over again seeing the long haired ginger in her bed butt naked just makes her want to gag. Trish was right, that was her bed. She practically lived there, she had a set of her own keys to his apartment for christ sakes! You would think he would be smart enough not to do it in their shared apartment.
She sips her bittersweet tasting like champagne a little more but sets it gently on the counter. Drinking isn't her style, even with the stage in life she is at.
Already in her 20's and she feels like she'll be be surrounded by hundreds of cats. She'll die alone with all her cats and they'll even hate her! Ally has come to conclusion that she'll die totally alone. Her parents would already be dead, Trish will be so successful that she'd find a way to live for eternity, all her other friends won't care to keep in touch with her, her ex boyfriends will all be happily married with perfect mini them that they'll forget about their leftover relationships, she's going to be alone, hated and forgotten.
She's deep into her thoughts that she doesn't even realize somebody is sitting right next to her. He had to put his arm right out in front of her to get her to snap out of her abstraction. She looks over at the stranger when she realizes who it was.
He's taking a sip from her champagne but sets it down quietly and his infamous smirk appears on his totally natural, gorgeous face.
You have got to be kidding. Why couldn't she get away from this guy?
"Swallowing your pain in a drink is not healthy. But, you see I always envisioned you as a champagne type of girl." She glared at him with that comment and he just continued on talking. "Hey, if you're really hurting that much, you want to head over to my place?" He asked suggestively. Ally gawked at him in disgust, but she realizes he's only messing with her when he pulls out that presumptuous smirk of his.
"I'm not swallowing my pain in champagne" Ally angrily spit back at him.
"Are you new to my apartment building? I've never seen you around, or were you visiting that guy?"
She contemplated on whether or not telling him the whole back story of her failed non existing relationship to start with. But she decided against it, she doesn't even know him at all, he could be a murderer for all she knew. So just to be safe, "visiting."
He takes another sip of her champagne and swishes it around his mouth just to spit it out. Gross.
She looks over at him when he takes another sip and this time swallowing the wine. "I would just like to tell you, you're drinking out of a random person's drink."
"What?" His face pales to white like he couldn't believe he sipped out of a random person's drink this whole spits out his drink mid-way and wipes his mouth on his perfectly fitted shirt.
"Gotcha." It was her turn to play a dirty joke on him.
"I'm hurt that you would play that mean joke on me." He jokingly said hurt. Hot guy from his apartment empathized that he was hurt by clutching his chest.
"Take the hurt down a notch, it isn't attracting to us ladies." She really hoped she didn't just sound like she was flirting with him. Ally doesn't want to give him the wrong impression and then have him start thinking flirting with her was okay.
Of course he was already flirting with her without her even knowing, anyone on the outside of their conversation could say this, even a deaf person could tell he was flirting by how close he was to her body and how touchy he was with her. Any blind person could hear that he was flirting with her by the choice of words he kept on saying that was directed towards her. She was the only one unaware that he was already flirting with her.
"Am I attracting you?" He asked with that smirk. Ally just wanted to slap that smirk off his face so he could never express it ever again.
She rolls her eyes at him, "I thought you had a date?"
"Jealous?" He teasingly said.
She scoffs at him, "not even."
"So I saw the horrible exchange happening with you and that guy," he changes the subject. "Your ex boyfriend I presume?"
Oh great, he even knew that exchange was a "hey you forgot your bag, don't ever come back to my apartment, bye!"
"He wasn't even my boyfriend." Ally mumbled embarrassed.
"What was he?" He asked intrigued.
She coughs a little and shifted, oh what the hell, she needed to talk about the whole situation eventually, but Ally gives him a vague answer, "Um, really, I'm not sure. I mean I thought we were a couple but I judged our whole relationship wrong."
"Oh man, that sucks." And he didn't know what else to say because he can't say he knows the feeling. He's never been the one cheated on or the cheater. But he has had friends who have been cheated on and they were devastated, heartbroken.
"I mean it was a mutual breakup, there's a possibility that we will get back together." Ally lifted her voice up and anyone could just tell that she was still hopeful, even though she shouldn't be. "I should check on how he's doing, maybe he wants me back already."
She's taking her phone out but he stops her. His face is serious, "don't, you'll regret it."
"But I left my clothes there, and my toothbrush! How am I supposed to brush my teeth? And he's a really sweet, loving guy." She was about to cry once again today. No, keep it together Ally.
"Don't be cynical," he deadpan. "Obviously he isn't that sweet if he did this to you. I mean look at you, you're a mess."
She looks over at the apartment guy and glares at him. "You don't even know the full story to tell me what to do."
"I know enough that you shouldn't backslide." And he still had a serious look on his beautiful face.
"Backslide?" She wiped her recently new tears.
"You don't want to revert back to him when you should be moving forward and getting over him. Just get laid, that'll help."
"But I can't do that, he means so much to me, that'll be like cheating." She wails over him again and then she slows her sobs down. "I'll just go to my breakup movie collection."
All he does is shake his head and smiles a little. After most of Ally's tears are gone they have a nice conversation about if the egg came first or the chicken. It was a random topic that they somehow got on.
Another person came to the bar and stood very close to the apartment guy. It was very extraneous of her to do so. Who is this woman? But the stranger tapped his shoulder and said something to his ear. All he did was sigh and nodded his head. Ally finally realized who it was when the rude woman turned her head to Ally. It was the blond bimbo. Ally just laughed to herself, of course. The blond bimbo glared at Ally while she took his hand and guided the nameless apartment dude away from her. He gave one last look at Ally and smiled like he was sorry for his impolite date's actions.
Ally stayed on her stool for another five minutes. She really just wanted to go home and watch sad movies, that's all she just needs right now. So she got up from the bar and went to go find her wild friend. It was hard finding Trish with all the extra bodies around her. But she finally spotted her feisty friend in the center of the fiasco. "He's a dick, let's go now." Of course Ally was lying, she's apologizing in her head over and over again for what she is saying about him. She just really wanted to be home on the couch watching her movies.
Trish gave her a smile knowing Ally's lie but accepting the "confrontation." Then she guided them out of the club and drove them home.
Okay So first part done! Yay! So I hoped you guys liked this and want more, and well if you don't, too bad! I wrote this on Easter and finished in a 7-6 hour one sitting. Now I was debating on whether or not posting this right away but I was too tired to edit and I wanted this to be my best piece yet, so I didn't. I finished editing and I think all of my parts are well done but if you find a mistake, I apologize!
Disclaimer to: Austin and Ally (besides the plot, I came up with it) to the story title: Repeating Days by R5, and to the song title: How Can I Not Love You by Joy Enriquez.
Until next time...