Twilight Revealed: The Musical
Summary: The Cullen Family have some interesting secrets to tell…
Lol, this story was co-written by moi nd mon amis Saoirse:D:D Hope you enjoy:)
Warning: Only read if you have a sense of humour. Our a twisted one like ours anyway:)
Our main character, Mr. Harry Potter, is investigating certain rumours such as a drag-queen, man whore and an extra terrestrial life form… read on…
A heavenly voice drifted off the stage…
"Its raining men! Hallelujah! Its raining men!"
Harry looked up in time to see Edward Cullen prancing around on the stage, dressed in a pink leotard and a feather boa. He was giving it his all, shouting into the microphone like there was no tomorrow. Harry assessed his appearance with a critical eye.
The normally beautiful Mr. Cullen tonight had on a blonde curly wig, assorted make up products and as previously mentioned, his leotard.
Harry coughed, trying to hide his smile. As the next notes drifted to where he was seated, he coughed for real.
"I'm just a sweet transvestite, from transsexual Transylvania!!"
Edward was a big fan of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and it was always a crowd favourite. His usuals in the front row cheered and got up, throwing their hankies at him. As the song ended, Edward did the splits, curtsied and skipped off stage.
"wooooooooooooooooo!!" came the cheer of the crowd.
Harry went to meet Edward at the back entrance (meet NOT in that way)
"Hello meine freudinan,' Edward smiled. 'Enjoy the show?"
"Uh… sure,' replied Harry. He grimaced inwardly. 'We better get home. You know, for Bella…"
"Of course, she cannot go long without my devilish charms." he said coyly.
Harry turned towards the entrance pretty quickly after that… and lo and behold- Jacob Brown!
"Well,… look who we 'ave here boys… what a coinkydink." Jacob Brown and all his friends stood in the doorway looking smug as ever.
Harry frowned at Edward. What are we going to do now? he thought.
Oh me oh my deary deary Edward thought. Then a thought occurred to him.
"Why hello my dear puppy,' Edward smiled sweetly. 'But, oh, what are YOU doing in a DRAG QUEEN CLUB may I ask?"
Jacobs cheeks went red. He shuffled um-comfortably.
"Well… Sam… He's…" he trailed off.
"What was that?" Harry asked smugly. Jacob rushed his next words.
"Sam's on tonight, and we came to support him." he glared at them defiantly.
Edward sneered. He can talk thought Harry.
"Well lads, we must be off… Cheerio!" Edward sang as he went off.
"Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend you have been the one for meeeee!" Harry shook his head, but was interrupted by a stomp behind him. He turned
To see that the three werewolves had taken up a triangular position, Jacob at the lead. They started doing some well rehearsed dance moves from an Abba video.
"Woof, woof, woof woof…" They all started 'singing'.
Jacob jumped onto the stage, grabbing the microphone off a disgruntled Count Olaf, who was in the middle of singing 'If I were a Rich Man.'
"All the fella's start the name calling and the girls respond to the call!!" Jacob paused surveying his audience, counting down…
"Who let the dogs out? Who who who who who? Who let the dogs out??"
Embry and Quil were shaking their booties and wagging their tails around on the front stage. The crowd was going wild, shouting along and trying to molest Jacob. Harry left, dragging Edward along (he had wanted to stay and join in)
Harry jumped onto Edwards back and he took off, soaring into the night…
Meanwhile, Emmett had been skulking around street corners, waiting for a willing customer, and smiling provocatively at the innocent hedge cutter across the road. A black car cruised past him, did sharp turn and stopped behind him. Emmett gussied up, fixed his hot pants and walked towards the mystery vehicle.
"Hey honey, want a ride?" The man behind the wheel asked.
"Sure sweetie,' Emmett crowed. 'Where to?"
The man smiled, revealing a row of gums. Emmett squealed in horror, but got into the car anyway. Beggars cant be choosers he thought.
The car sped away, with Emmett looking forlornly out the back window…
Jasper floated through the wall. There was a door, but being a ghost and all, why use it? Little known fact about Jasper… he was really Casper the Friendly Ghost in disguise. He floated at exactly 78 cm off the floor, and contrary to popular belief, he often banged into things, solid or not. His attention was brought back to the present by movement through the wall…
WHO was THAT??
"I am a vampire, I am a vampire I have lost my fangs!"
Carlisle always had a soft spot for jazz. In the early 1800 he had created his own band, The Antsy Pants. They were a global hit now, and their recent single, appropriately named "Vampire", was Carlisle way of expressing the feelings he couldn't other wise.
"And the pretty girls don't look at me, cause I've lost my mouse again!"
"And that's a wrap people!" shouted the director. Carlisle and his fellow band mates, Rudey and Rascal, were currently filming the music video which involved a lot of jumping about and shaking, along with a barrel of butter!
(A/N: So, did you like it?! Tune in for the next instalment, to find about how things turn out the stars of twilight!! (you see what I did there? You know,.…stars….twilight….no? okay..) Also, find out which twilighter has a secret agenda….vampire my day, backup dancer for MADONNA by night!! Also, which twilighter is turned EMO, and discover a SHOCKING SECRET you never knew about Rosalie!! That's all for know folks, and remember, KEEP WATCHING THE SKYS!!)