Oh em gizzle! First evah fanfic! This story has been buggin me so...yep. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: omfg...my first disclaimer...I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR THE AKATSUKI!

Hello there. The names Kou. No. Not pronounced cow. Ko-oo. Kou.

I have no idea why am telling you this seeing how this is my own brain. Oh well.

It makes me feel less lonely. I'm not gonna bother with my last name since you ARE my brain, you should know it.

If my brain didn't even know my last name, I would be seriously worried.

I come from treasure planet. We are all pirates who steal money and gold and such. Hence the name.

We have our very advanced technology. We even know of the different worlds.

Yep. I know what some of you are thinking. Honestly, if we come this far, why do we steal? Simple.

The pirates travel to good for nothing planets that don't use their own resources correctly and use their money to buy the things the good for nothing planets find valuable.

What, you thought we make food and materials out of thin air? We're advanced but not miracle workers. But we ignore the good planets like earth, serenity, mars and such.

So basically, treasure planet's pirates aren't exactly bad. They're not good either to other planets. Depends on how you think.

I personally don't care. I'm in it for the adventure. In my big planet, im wanted.

People hire pirates to go and steal stuff they need from the planets.

Apparently im what we call the really good skilled pirates rank 12. The kick ass ones are below 12. Nobody has gone below 5. No one is that good.

Personally, I don't think im that good. But sadly the people of this planet had made me a negative.

Yep. Can't get any better than negative.

Some other planets we've thieved from knows of us but only the some.

The people that hire pirates on treasure planet always try to find me when in need of something but fail in finding me.

Only those who actually get lucky enough to find me...find me.

So I take their request, do, and return. Doesn't take a genius.

But the thrill of going out there for a purpose is just exhilarating!

I'm known as having...bipolar issues...some claim to me having a personality disorder. Others say I escaped a hospital ward by chewing through my straight jacket.

Heck people go so far as to call me a vampire and be serious about it.

But those are just myths about me. But who knows?

I might be bipolar. I might have a second personality. I just might be in the pre-stages of vampire-ness!

Ahh well. Well find out soon enough if people start disappearing.

No. I didn't forget the claim about the straight jacket. That ones actually true. I went to the planet silent hill full of homicidal monsters and zombies.

They trapped me in a straight jacket trying to force down this weird liquid.

That's when I chewed through the stupid thing. Do NOT ask me how it tasted.

Anyway, lookey here.

Im in the planet reptilian for some vacation time (they have great beaches).

I'm out on the beach at night gazing at their interesting cobra shaped moon, and guess what?

Some dude covered in cloth comes over and asks "do you like snakes little girl?" in a creepy voice.

So I did the immediate reflex when some weirdo goes up to you and asks the 'do you like _ little girl?' line.

No. I don't do the 'ignore strangers and walk away' routine. I did the 'kick him the place where the sun don't shine really hard to make sure he cant multiply then point and laugh at him evilly then run away screaming "YOULL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE SUCKAH!' routine.

But I looked back and saw the guy rolling on the ground back and forth. You can guess what I did to help him with the trauma of never being able to multiply ever again.

I walked back to him and

I... started evilly laughing my head off while pointing and holding my stomach trying not to die laughing! I know it was mean but...come on! Muahahaa!

After what was probably 15 minutes of madness, Mr. creepy stalker dude with no ballz (as I deemed him worthy of such a wonderful name)

got up and practically screeched like my 'angel' of a mother "You will pay pest!" then Mr. creepy stalker dude with no ballz started doing these weird things with his hands.

At first I was getting the impression he wanted to play patty cake.

But when he finished, everything was developed into darkness.

I felt like I was falling. Which indeed I was. I felt kinda calm. Excited even. The feeling of falling in pretty awesome. Or maybe is it just me?

Anyway as I looked up with a grin on my face I saw what Mr. creepy stalker dude with no ballz looked like.

The cloth on his head was removed so what I saw was to me was a mixture of interesting and hm... How do I put it? Pedophile like.

I saw white skin (not even the cool white skin. Like disgusting looking white skin) and long black hair. The facial features were earwax yellow eyes and weird purple stuff under his eyes.

For a second I saw his face was in a wicked creepy pedophile-ish smile.

But when he saw the grin on my face I saw his face contort into something of frustration and confusion. Then I lost sight of him.

During the exact 5 seconds I was falling in the pitch darkness,

I was just thinking about how much I wanted to poke his face to see if would explode or melt.

Then I was thinking of how much of a woman he looked like. That's when I notice the bottom of the darkness had weird light.

I looked closer I was getting close to clouds...then I saw tree tops...then I saw ground...then I saw ants...then I realized those weren't ants.

That's when I started screaming "GET OUT OF THE FREAKING WAY!"

I looked at their faces again and saw that it held confusion and they showed no signs of moving.

"GET THE FRICK OUTTA THE WAY UNLESS YOU WANNA DIE!" then the people jumped slash ran into the trees.

I was hoping they were far because where they just were, is where my plan was taking place.

In the few seconds that I had left to do something before I probably died and mutilated myself on the ground,

I put my hands together as if holding a gun about to pull a trigger as my special pistol materialized in my hands.

I quickly shot a couple of trees and made it look like a green pillow from the sky.

My gun the disappeared into thin air as I smirked at my handy work.

It wasn't until my nose hit the first leaf that it occurred to me:

Trees. Have. Branches.

And that's how I ended up stuck up side down in a tree in front of two guys who probably committed the biggest fashion crime in the galaxy.

How'd yall like it? I wanted to explain her customs and what she usually does before you go thinking she's a regular teenager who got sucked into the world of naruto. I like those fanfics a lot but I wanted mine to be a bit more spontaneous. There gonna be a real plot to the story. And the clues to her past will come later and so will how she looks like.