Heeeyyy~ It's me, Bri, here with another Homestuck fanfiction!
I need to write the warnings here because my summary is way to long for me to be able to fit them in there.
Welp.
This story contains cursing, self-harm, and fluffiness.
Oh yeah, and depressed!John. hehe.
John was in pain.
Everyone could see it, but they didn't dare ask what was bothering him.
Karkat was among them. He could see the despair darkening his blue eyes, but something stopped him from going up and asking him what was wrong.
He couldn't.
He wouldn't.
Karkat didn't have enough willpower to swallow his pride and ask him what was wrong.
That was, until the boy passed out in front of everyone. Karkat could not move.
While everyone crowded around him, freaking out (even Dave) about him, Karkat stood in the back. Wide, pink tinged eyes looked from one person to the fallen boy on the floor, terrified.
Kanaya picked him up, his glasses askew on his face, his god tier hood dragged behind them, no longer holding the life of the wind as it used to, as she took him to one of the rooms on the forsaken asteroid. The usually angry troll stood in awe.
He was shocked.
Before he knew it, Jade was behind him, a hand on his shoulder. Karkat looked at her, her hood was down and sadness was etched on her face. Tears brimmed in her green eyes, she gripped the cloth of his black shirt tightly.
"He wouldn't eat anything.. he.. he.." she couldn't finish her sentence as she promptly slid down to her knees and cried. Karkat didn't say anything except for getting on his knees to.. hug her.
What else was he supposed to do? He was obviously frightened too.
Jade clutched his shirt, sobbing. "What if he dies?" she whispered.
Karkat could not speak, he envied those who were dead already. They didn't have to worry about the game expanding their lifespan, making them live more hell than intended.
"He.. he's going to be alright… he can't die. He's John fucking Egbert." The troll whispers to her, understanding how worried she must be. She was Johns sister, the only family she had left.
Barely noticing Kanayas presence, he slowly took his eyes off Jades shoulder and looked at the taller troll.
"He is dehydrated, and somewhat malnourished. Do any of you know when the last time he consumed anything to nourish himself?" the rainbow drinker asked. Jade let go of Karkat and stood up, looking at Kanaya.
She put her thumbs together, and sighed. "Ever since we crossed and came here, he's refused to drink, eat or sleep anything. I tried to.. to tell him that this was bad for him, but he never said anything." Jade choked on her last words.
Karkat stood up slowly, watching Kanaya nod disapprovingly.
"You humans.." she mumbled and turned to walk back down to the rooms.
Karkat quickly followed her. "Will he be alright?" he asked her.
"John will not die, if that is what you are implying. He will be alright if he eats and drinks when he wakes up. He does not understand that what he is doing is killing him. God tier or not." Kanaya said, not missing a stride. As she turned down the hallway, Karkat could already feel the faint presence of John.
It was like some sort of link he created between he and the human.
Karkat was not prepared to see the sight before him, however.
The body that lay in the bed before him was not the boy he had found when he first came on the asteroid.
The pale skinned, skinny person under the dark sheets was not the strong, god tier boy who played a game not meant to ever exist.
He stopped dead in his tracks, Kanaya simply walked in and stood at the foot of the bed. "I honestly do not know what to do about him. He's a rare case to me." Kanaya said, thinking.
"You should stay with him until he wakes up. He'll be confused, and when he does wake up. Call me. I will bring food for him." Kanaya says, gesturing Karkat to sit in the chair right beside his.
Karkat did as he was told, and stared in disgust at the figure beside him. Looking at Kanaya, she gave him a look of concern and left.
He turned his gaze to John, Kanaya had removed his hood, which made him look helpless. Karkat used to think John was stupid, but this just made him angry.
The sick realization that John was attempting to kill himself by starving himself of any necessity known to live had sunk to the bottom of Karkats stomach, and hit made him want to vomit.
It was disgusting.
He could feel the red, pastel tears gathering up in his eyes and he blinked furiously. Willing them away. But they wouldn't go away.
The troll rubbed at his cheeks, trying to get rid of the red tears staining his skin.
He heard John make a small noise, like a small moan. The small movements the teen made had made the bed sheets rustle and reveal his shoulder. Karkat could see his baby blue eyes open, and struggle to adjust to his surroundings.
Karkat managed a weak scowl as the boys eyes settled on him. "Hey dumbass." He croaked, staring at the boy intently as he blinked lazily.
"What happened..?"
"You idiot. You passed out, don't you remember? What were you trying to do, starve yourself to death?" Karkat asked angrily.
John let out a small laugh and sighed tiredly. "I wish there was another answer.."
Karkat felt his heart stop beating, he looked down at the destroyed boy, eyes wide. "W-What? What are you talking about..?"
Did he just hear him correctly?
John wanted to…
John wanted to kill himself?
"Why the fuck would you want to kill yourself?" Karkat went rigid with anger, or fear, he couldn't tell the difference anymore. He stared at John, who just stared back at him with those dull, light blue eyes.
"Everyone's worried fucking sick! Even that dumbass Strider kid! And here you are, thinking that killing yourself is an option?" Karkat shouted, not caring about a thing about John only that the one thought that scared him the most.
The troll couldn't help the thoughts zooming into his head.
Jade crying.
Rose and Dave standing off in the distance, looking pale and their mouths wide open.
Gamzee sitting in the croner, staring at him. Terezi standing right next to him.
Kanaya holding a bundle of blue, carefully setting it down beside all the mangled carcasses of their dead friends.
Karkat watched as she fixed the god tier hood that lay sloppily behind them. The hood that used to flap with so much power and happiness would no longer move.
He shook his head and growled, a low sound from the bottom of his throat.
"Even us trolls know that suicide is not the answer to anything. What did you think that maybe you would be able to go and none of us would miss you? What about Rose? What about Jade? What about.." Karkat was too shocked for words.
"No one would miss me… after all.. I let my father die, right..?" Karkat could hear the strangled breaths of air, John must be exhausted.
So that's what this was about. "I miss him Karkat.." the other didn't miss the tears beginning to dribble down the flushed face. "I miss my dad.. I.. I want him back.." the blue eyed human weakly grabbed at Karkats hand, which Karkat let him take willingly.
All the anger had been put out with the sound of despair in his voice. Karkat didn't utter a sound, nothing filled the air except for strangled sobs and heart wrenching cries.
"John.."
Karkat looked at the floor, trying to block out Johns gasping, sobbing noises.
"Hey John.." Karkat put a hand on Johns head and carded it through his thick locks. He set himself on the bed right beside the boy, and gently shooshed him while running his hand through his dark hair.
The troll breathed in through his nose and exhaled deeply. "John.. I miss Crabdad too.." he said, leaning in against the smaller boy, and hugged him awkwardly from the side. John weakly fisted his hand in Karkats shirt, rubbing his face in his chest.
Karkat didn't care if his shirt would be stained.
He only cared about the boy he was holding, and how we was going to fix him.
I'm sorry. I can't make John anything but an adorable uke. -shot-
So this is part one of archangeljade's request.
yeeee.
Oh yeah. I listened to Lily's theme from the Harry Potter soundtrack while writing this. fuckyeah.