J K Rowling Killed my Boyfriend! AKA :

Snape Ressurected!

A young girl with long dark hair, a pale complexion, and extremely large dark eyes stared at one of the moving portraits on the wall in the grand hallway. Wenhaver Titivillus Pendragon was not like the other students. As they chatted merrily and dodged back and forth in packs like groups of shiny little neon fish, Wenhaver sat alone. She always wore the traditional black garb of the house of Slytherin while the other kids seemed to favor lightly colored muggle fashions. But, Wenhaver had a unique gothic mind and preferred a simple black Elizabethan top like her muggle ancestor Anne Boleyn used to wear paired with black pants and slouchy knee boots. Anne Boleyn had been accused of witchcraft. On an elaborate golden chain, such as can not be bought or found any more, she wore a golden locket. It had slipped inside her white handmade lace under chemise and rested warm against her skin. She pulled it out and opened it up. It held two moving pictures. The one on the left was a portrait of herself with her pet raven. The one on the right was an oval cut from a moving trading card. She had had to trade some of her favorite possessions to obtain it – Severus Snape. The card had been banned. They said that for a young maiden (and even some young men) to look upon the portrait, a curse of maniacal unrequited love would possess the viewer. Sometimes it was temporary, sometimes permanent. But Wenhaver had been truly, madly, deeply, strangely, mysteriously in love with Severus Snape as long as she could remember. When people spoke of him, she had seen his face in her mind as clearly and accurately as the famous maddening portrait had portrayed him.

How unfair that he lived his whole life in unrequited love and then died so that all of the other wizards could live and love freely! She whispered, "By The Hammer Of Odin, You shall live again!" Then her stomach clenched and felt as if live bats were literally flying around inside, banging on the walls. Food was necessary to live, but she would have to risk being seen by professors to obtain it and they had been asking so many nosy questions of late. Questions such as: why haven't you been in class today, and, how did you get so much dirt under your nails? The answers would of course be that she had spent hours pouring over the forbidden necromancy books stolen from the library, looking for a way to bring to life her dark angel. Not what they wanted to hear from a student so close to graduation.

The portrait of Professor Snape in the great hall had a spell on it so as to honor him in Hogwarts without driving very young girls foaming mad with forbidden love. Wenny looked at it with unabashed mushy love in her gigantic, dark eyes. One solitary tear rolled down her perfect cream colored cheek. How inhumanly beautiful he was, and how sad. How could such a stunningly beautiful, immaculate, perfect warlock live so long unloved.

It had been very difficult for Wenhaver to find the correct spell to bewitch Mr. Filch into stealing the spell books she needed to do her necessary work. Soon, she would have to vanish and replace herself with an exact duplicate. It had been painstaking work frightening away all her room mates until she was finally allowed her own solitary chamber, which she had redecorated in simple black – the color HE wore. A spider under the pillow, an angry, screaming mandrake in the cookie jar, a boggart in the underwear drawer of her latest room mate. One room mate even seemed to like those things and would not budge until she finally became afraid of the living, breathing creature that Wenhaver had been constructing in the third, empty bunk bed. The black velvet curtains made the breathing, quivering mass of flesh seem even more terrifying than it already was. Wenny had placed a spell of silence on the room mate about that particular spell...

After several forays into the darkest attics of Hogwarts - where some very dangerous items and creatures reside – with her bewitched Mr. Filch - she had procured Medieval alchemy equipment and manuscripts. Then, had painstakingly concocted a potion from Severus's own textbook that enabled her to read the dark, muddled illuminated manuscripts. And then, she had finally been able to make some real progress towards her one and only goal in life. The living breathing ball of flesh in the spare bed in her room was, in fact, a female homunculus. A homunculus in alchemical terms is a human being that was hand made by an alchemist. The Medieval alchemists had failed sorely because most of them were muggles who had stolen magic knowledge from real wizards a very long time ago. Like an archaeologist she poured over the texts, filtering out the truth from the muggle alchemist drivel. In the final stages of 'production' she had relied rather more heavily on her necromancy books and the textbook her own dear sir had written. Snape's spells and potions were found and lovingly edited by Hermione Granger-Weasley. They had been intended to bring back Lily, after You-Know-Who was gone.

Wenny could only surmise that once Severus had become deceased, expired, bereft of life, shuffled off his mortal coil and all that, that he had found himself embarrassingly face to face with Lily and her husband. He would have had closure with Lily but not much more.

Wenny snuck under the nose of the now senile Minerva McGonnagall who was nodding off yet again. She was hunched over carrying a plate of food, an armload of papyrus scrolls, several books of shadows and a cup of pumpkin juice. Not TOO suspicious... She looked too much like Igor from the muggle Frankenstein movies. But, soon she would make her own Igor. She stopped in front of the great portrait of Professor Snape again as the other inconsequential children darted around her like streaks of light on a dark tollway. The portrait had also been bewitched so that no one could hear it speak. It was said that to hear Professor Snape's voice had the same effect as drinking an entire bottle of love potion laced with wormwood. Love, extacy, madness, blindness and uncontrollable screaming were said to be some of the lesser symptoms of Severus Snape's maniacally sexy voice. She looked deeply into his eyes in the portrait. It had been remarked upon many many times that the strange girl in black was the only student in Hogwarts who could catch and hold his gaze. Mrs. Snape was the cruel nickname the other students had given her. If only they knew how right they would soon be. It amused Wenny greatly to be treated cruelly as he was. She secretly took great pleasure in feeling sorry for herself regarding this matter. To suffer like him made her feel closer to him. Whenever Wenhaver spoke to the portrait, there was no answer. She waited impatiently for the hall to clear as classes began. Then, she mouthed the words, "My female homunculus is almost ready! Almost ready!" The portrait looked at her and raised an eyebrow. A pang of deep excitement shot through her body like a lightning bolt. He had never responded before! She spoke again, "Soon, you will live again, my dark angel!" A look of shock passed his face. Then, it became as sad and troubled and strangely serene as before. Wenny longed to take one more very long look at him, but the encroaching footsteps of the hall monitor forced her to retreat, hobbling along with her food, drink, and books.

When safely back in her chamber, she ravenously ate all of her food with shaking, white fingers. Table manners were not necessary in front of a half baked homunculus. She forced herself to waste the precious time it took her to eat by remembering that there was a staggering amount of work ahead of her to be done in secret over the next few days. She read the Egyptian texts from the papyrus scrolls over her homunculus. (Wenhaver had cleverly done a spell on herself to become a parselmouth in many languages. The manuscript that helped her to do that was among Snape's possessions that she had found in the attic. One stash from his boyhood, and another from his adult career. Nobody had ever paid it any mind, as he had never completed it. What he could not do or teach, Wenny had figured out all by herself with grim determination.) She read through the scrolls dealing with placing the human spirit in the Ka, and the opening of the mouth of the Osiris. It all worked very well on her homunculus, whereas it had pathetically failed in ancient Egypt. Pity, she would have liked to meet the Pharaohs too. Maybe later. The final step was to cast a glamour on the homunculus. When it looked exactly like Wenny to the naked eye, she took her wand and set her classroom memories in it's head.

It's function would be to go to class in Wenny's place. The other students could do what they would to it. She would not have use of the school much longer. She left moaning myrtle with instructions on how to care for her double such as not letting it forget to bathe, or drown in the bath water. Myrtle thought reviving Snapey-baby was a delicious idea and often regaled Wenhaver with impressions of him, and wild stories about what he did when the students were not looking.

Wenny slipped out the back door as Harry and Ron and Hermione had done so many times at dusk. She puled a garden cart loaded with her stolen spell books and Snape's personal effects hidden under a black velvet blanket. She clutched her wand in her sweaty right hand. It was actually HIS old wand and worked for her better than the one her parents had bought for her which was about as good as Ron Weasley's legendary crap-tacular wands. If anyone tried to stop her, she would have erased their memory. As it happened, the only person she ran into was Hagrid who was only more than happy to allow her to sneak off in the night and break all the rules. "Good luck bringing back Severus, little Missy!" He shouted and waved alongside a baby dragon and a enormous spider.

Her next stop was Severus's grave, and the reason she had been accused of having so much dirt under her finger nails – it turns out – is that she had recently exhumed him by hand at midnight. She had hoped he would be perfectly preserved in a glass enchanted coffin like a fairy tale prince to be brought back by her sincere kiss, but that had not been the case. Sadly, his beautiful face, hair, and body had become a blob of horrific smelling black jelly in the bottom of a pine box. It had taken a lot of magic just to keep the goo all in one place. Magic, duct tape, and garbage bags, as the pine had rotted in some places. She had cleverly hidden it behind some new shrubberies which Hagrid had planted the day before. Hagrid was such a great accomplice. She decided to have Severus reward him handsomely some day. Severus's return would have been reward enough for Hagrid.

She gingerly put the bundle of plastic and duct tape into a little nook she had left for it in the overloaded garden cart, and moved along to the whomping willow. A male and female centaur had snuck there to make out in the twilight and look at the twinkling lights of Hogwarts which eclipsed the stars. "Hey trigger! Flicka! Get your horsey asses out of here before I put a hex on you and make you human!" She yelled at them, running out of patience. The threat worked and the centaurs took off like their tails were on fire. Next, she had to deal with the whomping willow. She had been cultivating a friendship with it for a long time bribing it with gifts and treats so that it would let her into the shrieking shack. Today, she held up several cone shaped objects the size of waffle cones. "These are tree spikes! Fertilizer! Mmmmmmm, good!" the willow reached down and carefully took them out of her hand. "Stick them in the ground ten feet away and let them melt into the roots over time." She bowed to the tree. It bowed back and allowed her inside.

The trips back to the muggle world to obtain tree spikes were well worth the effort. She had cleaned and decorated and refurbished the shrieking shack into a very nicely decorated little cottage where she and Snape could stay undetected for as long as they wanted to. There was a closet full of his old clothes, which she had painstakingly bewitched as good as new, and a closet full of her own clothes, most of Severus's possessions, all of her possessions, some lovely enchanted furniture and tapestries she had filched from Hogwarts' attic and enough mushy food to keep Severus alive until he was well enough to take solid food. Making the tree stronger with gifts only insured that she could keep Severus there as long as she needed too.

Wenhaver placed the last of his items and hers on their proper shelves. Every single item was lovingly chosen to please him as Lily never would. She lovingly carried the bundle of his remains to the black velvet bed, and cut open the top of the garbage bag with a laser from her wand. The bags were left on the velvet comforter as a precaution to keep the precious goo that had been Severus from escaping and getting lost forever. It was a full moon. Her raven landed in the window. She lit some Nag Champa and put on a Stevie Nicks record. She then invoked every god and goddess from Odin to Aphrodite and begged them all for help in her endeavors. After several hours of this, she said the final spells from a sort of Necronomicon she had written herself. With a silver dagger, she poked a hole in her right index finger and willed her own thin, weak blood to flow down her fingertip, down Severus's old wand and into his sticky remains. Smoke began to rise from the putrescent goo. It oozed itself into the shape of a man. She sliced off a piece of her hair and dropped pieces onto his 'head' more or less and watched in awe as it stuck and grew into his beautiful, princely man-bob. It was just like the portrait which she had watched, lovestruck, from her pathetic little bench in the great hall with such great longing. She scraped off some of her dry skin flakes all over his body. His heart was slowly beginning to beat with the blood she had given him, and his insides were beginning to form and turn pink. The skin flakes turned into the flawless skin she had always dreamed he would have. As her homunculous sat in the brightly lit dining hall, ineptly eating dinner and grossing out the other Hogwarts students, she stood over Snape's newly reupholstered body sprinkling tiny bits of herself on him and chanting ancient texts in parselmouth.

Then, she leaned over him and looked on his face for the first time that anyone had since he'd been buried. Two tears inadvertently fell from her eyes and landed on his eyelids. They trembled and then the two most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen slowly opened like the eyes of a newborn calf and looked at her coolly. His mouth moved. "Mother?" he whispered. Then, he fell asleep.

Wenhaver sat and watched him sleep in the moon and candle light for a very long time. There, on her bed, in a gob of garbage bags, split rotten pine, and duct tape lay the most ridiculously beautiful man in the universe. She snuck up to him and ran her fingertips over his noble Medieval face, and touched his perfect, dark, satinny hair. She knew it had been her love that gave her the sheer amount magic power to save him, the way Lily had saved Harry from Voldemort with nothing but love.

She suddenly felt very afraid. What if he was angry about being taken away from Lily in the afterlife? What if he rejected Wenhaver? What if he never mended, or his mind never mended? Wenny decided that no matter what he did or said she would love him madly and serve him forever. He was her responsibility. She had made the unprecedented move of making him undead. Over the next several days, she kept the curtains drawn and cared for him by lovingly feeding him broth and herbs. She chanted spells over and over and used his wand to channel half of her own energy into him.

One day it occurred to her that the next time he opened his eyes, she would look a fright. So, she bathed, put on some rouge and a beautiful, short, revealing dress and fixed her hair fetchingly.

She threw her locket on a dresser because it was no longer of use to her now that she had the real Severus lovingly laid out on the bed, slowly coming to life. She shad been shaving him and bathing him and combing his hair changing his bedpans, wiping up his precious drool, and dabbing tasteful cologne on his pulse points and just waiting and waiting and waiting for him to move or blink or squeak or something, anything. The last of the plastic, and pine had been removed and thrown away, and he finally opened his eyes and spoke. He learned the story of how Wenhaver had worked and struggled to bring him back to life. She placed his wand in his right hand. He used his own wand to restore himself back to health. And Wenhaver looked a lot more fetching in her little dress than she had in her stark Elizabethan garb the night he had called her Mother.

Professor Snape whispered for her to come closer. She straddled his lithe, supple six foot frame and looked deeply into his big, dark eyes. Stevie Nicks music whirled in the air and mixed with candle scent, incense and herbs creating an intoxicating feeling of delirium in the room. "There's one last act of love I need you to perform before I can truly come alive again." Wenny looked deeply into his eyes with perfect understanding. Her little white hands curled up into his big hands. She felt his body shift with all of it's original strength. "Oh Severus!"