Caesar and Joseph had been friends for a long time, and like all longtime friends, they sometimes got on each other's nerves. Alright, maybe more than sometimes. But they still had enough in common that, without even discussing it, they had ended going to the same college.
It was a shock, however, when on the first week of the semester, they ran into each other at the hall of one of the dorms one early morning.
"What, Caesar, are you so in love with me that you're following me to my room? I have to say, I'm flattered," teased Joseph as soon as he saw his blond friend.
"Ah, you wish." retorted Caesar "but as I recall, I've been studying here for a year longer than you have, so it seems you're the one chasing after me."
"Well, yeah, but…" Joseph stumbled to find a way to change the subject "Anyway, do you live in this hall too?"
"Of course I do. What else could I be doing here, tourism?" Caesar smirked, with that infuriating, annoying smirk that made his brunette friend's skin crawl.
But shit, he was right. That was a dumb question.
"A-a, anyway, which room are you in? Maybe we'll get to hang out more if we live close to each other!" Joseph was not willing to openly admit it, but he had been sad when Caesar had left for college, so he was sort of glad to be reunited with his friend again.
"I'm alone in room 425. I was supposed to get a roommate, but apparently he dropped out last minute and no one else moved in. Feels nice, getting a whole room to myself."
"Holy shit! We're right next to each other! I'm in room 423! I do have a roommate, though. Can't remember his name, but he seems nice enough. And why haven't we run into each other before?" Joseph was shocked.
"You've probably overslept every morning since moving in, haven't you?" Caesar's smug smirk got a little wider.
"That's- that's bullshit!" a flat-out lie, but Joseph had to keep his pride.
"Anyway, I have to get to class. It was nice running into you. Let's hang out soon. Just don't come knocking on my door at night if you're having nightmares." with that, the blond left, before his friend could come up with a comeback.
A few weeks later, Joseph was frustratedly turning around in bed, regretting not having made any plans to go out that night. It was a Saturday night! In college! He was supposed to be getting drunk, or laid, or high, or all three at the same time! But instead, he was in his room, with nothing to do. And his roommate wasn't even there, so he had no one to chat with. He did think about calling Caesar but figured that, being older than him, he'd probably be at a bar, or someplace else that required an ID to enter. And even if he wasn't, he was too proud to just call him to say "hey, I have nothing to do on a Saturday night because my social skills suck, what are you up to?".
But things changed when he heard the lock on his room turn. He looked at his phone, it was only midnight. Weird, he thought. Why would my roommate be back so early from partying? Hah! I bet he's even worse at social stuff than me. He probably got rejected by so many women that he gave up and came back.
However, he did not expect to see his roommate walk in with a girl clinging from his arm, both smelling of alcohol. Apparently, the guy had found someone else who thought he was "rather nice".
"Oh, uh, hey," said his roommate awkwardly when he saw him. "I thought you'd be out… Umm…"
It took Joseph a few seconds to figure out what was going on, then his face went bright red.
"Oh… Oh! Oh shit! Uh…" he struggled to find words. What was he supposed to do? "Uh… Don't mind me! I was just leaving!"
He bolted out of the room as fast as he could, blushing all along. Only after the door was locked behind him did he notice that he'd just done something stupid.
Great, he thought, what am I supposed to do know? I forgot my wallet, so I can't get even something to eat!
He considered knocking on Caesar's door for a minute but ultimately decided against it. His pride wouldn't let him.
However, after what seemed like hours (but was only about fifteen minutes) of pacing around the building, he decided he couldn't handle boredom anymore, and swallowed his pride to knock on his friend's door.
A few seconds passed. Nothing. A minute. Two minutes. Still nothing.
How stupid, he thought. He's obviously out. Caesar, the casanova, not out on a Saturday night? Impossible.
Right as he was about to leave, the door opened.
"What?" asked the bored-looking blond. Judging from his hair and attire, he probably hadn't left his room all day, except maybe to eat. "Oh, it's you. What's up? Feeling homesick? Missing your mommy?"
Joseph had planned to be friendly give his circumstances, but obviously Caesar had no such plans. However, before he could come up with a comeback, a slightly muffled high-pitched moan interrupted them.
"That came from your room," commented Caesar
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Alright, I see what's going on. Come inside."
"No, I think he'll be the one doing that." Joseph could not hold back the immature joke as he entered the room. Caesar just sighed.
The brunette was surprised at how huge his friend's room looked. Maybe it was just less crowded, because only one person lived in it, or maybe it was just cleaner, because Joseph couldn't clean for shit. Either way, even with the bunk bed occupying most of the space, the room looked enormous for a college dorm. Joseph assumed that Caesar slept on the bottom bunk, seeing as it was the only one with bedsheets.
"So, what are you up to? I thought a ladykiller like you would be out on a weekend night," he plopped himself carelessly onto his friend's neatly-made bed
"If I hooked up with someone new every weekend, I'd go from suave to slut in people's eyes, don't you think?" he argued "And don't call me a ladykiller. I prefer the term casanova."
"But you're not even leaving your room tonight? Boooooooooring."
"Nobody's forcing you to stay here. Go back to your room if you think I'm so bored." Caesar spoke each word of his last sentence following the rhythm of the knocking sound Joseph's roommate's bed made against his wall.
"Fine, fine, I take it back. Still, I wish I were getting drunk instead."
"That, I can help with." Caesar walked to the other end of the room and opened a drawer. After searching for a bit, he took out a bottle of vodka. "I was saving this for a special occasion, but I do feel bad about what happened to you tonight."
"Wait! I thought alcohol wasn't allowed on campus!"
"You thought correctly. But what the RA doesn't know won't hurt him, right?"
Joseph was shocked. He had never figured Caesar to be the kind to break the rules so shamelessly. Of course, he did not protest, because that vodka looked really nice and getting drunk seemed like the perfect idea at the moment.
"I don't have any cups, though. We'll just have to drink from the bottle."
And so they drank. The taste was horrible to Joseph, but he said nothing because Caesar didn't seem to mind it and he did not want to look weak. But he had never drunk vodka on its own before, and he couldn't quite get used to the bitter burning feeling it left in the back of his mouth. They chatted about life, catching up on the time they hadn't spent together while Joseph finished high school and Caesar was a freshman.
They sat on Caesar's bed, one next to the other, leaning against the wall. When they were about three quarters into the bottle, both slightly tipsy, they ran out of stuff to talk about. The silence grew awkward, interrupted only by the rhythmic knocking coming from next door.
"Shit," Joseph slurred "you'd think they'd be done by now!"
"Well, JoJo, maybe you're too quick in bed?" his friend teased
"... Fuck you," after thinking for a minute, it was all he could come up with. "What do we do now anyway."
"I dunno. We could watch a movie?"
"Nah dude that's fuckin' gay."
"You think a movie is gay? A bit sensitive are we?"
"No, but I know the movies you like. All boring, slow and Italian. An' I fuckin' hate reading subtitles anyway."
"Heh, I think I'm sensing you're a bit insecure JoJo?"
"What? About being gay? I'm totally not! Insecure, I mean. And gay! I mean! I'm not gay! Not that I think being gay is gross or anything. I'm just not gay! Nope! Totally no homo here."
"Sure thing. I bet I could beat your insecure ass at chicken anytime." Caesar smirked
"Uh huh? Well, I bet I'll kick your ass at chicken instead!" Joseph was never one to back down on a bet, especially when drunk, and especially against Caesar "The first one to flinch has to drink all that's left in the bottle!"
"Hah, sure thing." Caesar chuckled "Just make sure you don't throw up on my bed after you're done with the bottle."
"We'll see about that."
Caesar immediately leaned closer to Joseph, his eyes fixated on his friend's lips. Joseph did not move but did not flinch either. This is sort of gay, he thought, but he was too drunk to care. And this was his longtime friend Caesar, who he was 100% sure was straight, so it was really just bros chilling together. Nothing weird.
Joseph started leaning a little closer too, slowly. Both could smell the alcohol on each other's breath. The brunette bit his lower lip unconsciously as they got closer. He'd never noticed how pretty Caesar's lips were.
They were only about half an inch away now. Hah, he's gonna flinch any time now! thought Joseph. There's no way he'll get any closer. He did not expect Caesar to carefully lick his own lips, licking Joseph's as well in the process. The brunette flinched in shock. Caesar grinned.
"You lose."
"Wait, what? No! That's cheating! You cheated!" Joseph protested. He could still feel the warmth that his brush against Caesar's tongue had left on his lips.
"Says who? You flinched. You lost. Now drink up."
"Wait… Wait! Let's make it best out of three! I'll win next time!"
"Nuh-uh. Don't be a sore loser. Drink up."
"I'll… I'll take another swig, then let's make it best out of three. I won't lose to you!"
"Fine, fine. I'll enjoy winning again." Caesar was enjoying teasing his friend. "But make it a big one. And don't spill anything, that stuff's expensive you know."
Joseph drank from the bottle until his mouth was completely full, and almost gagged at the taste. He did his best to swallow all of it, but couldn't help choking on the last bit and coughing. Some vodka dripped down from his lips. After catching his breath, he looked at the bottle. There still was a lot left.
"Alright, let's do this again."
This time Joseph was the one to lean towards Caesar, almost pinning him against the wall. Caesar could not stop looking at Joseph's lips, glistening from the vodka he'd just drank. They inched closer and closer until they could feel the moistness from each other's breathing. Finally, Joseph closed what little distance was left between them, and they kissed.
Heh, how foolish, thought Caesar. He thinks I'm going to flinch just from a kiss? I'm not losing this bet, JoJo.
Joseph was, admittedly, slightly disappointed that Caesar had not flinched, but not enough to stop (and, therefore, lose the bet). He began moving his lips slowly, deepening the kiss, thankful for the alcohol that would make it easy in the morning to ignore the fact that he was making out with his best friend. Caesar did the same, then carefully ran his tongue through his friend's lips. Instead of being surprised, this time Joseph opened his mouth a little, and soon their tongues were in each other's mouths, at first shyly, then more playfully. Neither of them seemed to be willing to back down.
Shit, thought Joseph, time for my secret plan. Slowly, he moved a hand to his friend's neck, playing with his hair. He refused to admit to himself that he was getting pretty into it. Caesar was unmoved. Even more than that, he responded by placing a hand on Joseph's waist, bringing them closer.
The brunette was getting desperate. He placed his free hand on the blond's hips, then slowly moved it to his stomach, then to the front of his pants. He caressed softly, and was surprised to find his friend half-hard through his pants. Before he could react, however, a moan escaped from Caesar's mouth. Embarrassed of himself for making such a noise, Caesar backed away.
They stared at each other in shock, neither knowing what to say. The situation had gone from fun to awkward. Then, Joseph realized something.
"Hey! I win this round!" he cheered.
"Wh-that… You!" Caesar cleared his throat, trying to shake off the bright blush that had crept into his face. "Don't be so quick to celebrate, we're one-one now."
"Sure, but if I had to drink after losing the first round, so do you!"
Resentfully, Caesar took a huge swig from the bottle and swallowed it without so much as blinking. Joseph was slightly impressed. Neither of them seemed to really notice that they were moving from "tipsy" to "drunk", and there was still enough alcohol left in the bottle to get them both fully inebriated.
"I'm not gonna lose this time," growled Caesar. In one swift movement, he pushed Joseph against the bed, holding his arms by the wrists, one at each side of his head. Neither of them seemed to realize that it was pretty hard for both of them to lose in such a position.
This time they did not waste time getting close to each other, instead jumping straight to hungry, desperate kisses. Both of them tasted like vodka, and neither seemed to care. Joseph bit Caesar's lip a little, testing the waters. His friend moaned shamelessly this time, but they did not interrupt the kiss. Using their position to his advantage, Caesar broke the kiss and moved his legs so as to straddle the brunette under him. Both were half-hard by now, but neither said anything about it. The blond leaned in again, this time resting his head in Joseph's neck. He kissed, licked and bit down carefully, leaving a few hickeys down the way. Joseph was too drunk to notice, or, for that matter, to control his voice. He let out a gasp from pleasure, and almost backed away from embarrassment, but he stopped himself right before losing.
"Enjoying this, aren't you?" teased Caesar
"F-fuck you," was the only thing Joseph could come up with.
"Now, don't get ahead of yourself."
Joseph decided to take off Caesar's shirt, exposing his friend's perfect muscles, and couldn't help blushing. Of course, he'd seen him plenty of times before, but never while making out and drunk. Caesar responded by taking off Joseph's shirt, and shamelessly devouring his friend's body with his eyes. The younger one took this chance to switch positions, this time getting on top and pinning Caesar under him. Instead of going back to kiss his lips, he made his way down his friend's chest, kissing and nibbling until he found himself on the elastic of his pants.
Am I really going to do this? he asked himself for a second. Am I gay for this?
He obviously did not care enough to let the doubt stop him from roughly pulling down his friends pants. He was shocked when Caesar's dick jumped straight out. It was larger than he had expected, and fully hard. He felt slightly embarrassed about it for some reason and took that moment to notice that he was already hard himself as well.
"Oh my god! You're not wearing underwear!" he gasped
"O-of course not… You caught me in my pajamas…" Caesar was now blushing bright red.
Joseph made a mental note: Caesar goes commando when he's wearing pajamas. He'd forget it in the morning.
After the initial surprise, Joseph brought his lips to the tip of his friend's penis. He kissed shyly at first, not knowing exactly what to do. Although he would never admit it, he had no experience receiving blowjobs, much less giving them. He then brought his tongue out, licking carefully. The salty flavor was not something he was used to, but it was not disgusting either.
Caesar was biting down hard on his lower lip, doing his best not to make any noise. It wasn't that he did not want people outside to hear, since the room to his right was empty and the one to his left was occupied by a certain inconsiderate roommate. But he did not want Joseph to hear him, or to notice how much he was really enjoying what was going on. He would never admit it, but since that time they found out they lived next to each other. he'd fantasized more than a few times about getting intimate with his friend. Not that he'd planned the current scenario - getting him drunk for the express purpose of getting laid is something he would never do, but he was certainly glad the events had turned out this way.
His train of thought was interrupted when Joseph braved up and put his friend's dick in his mouth - first only the head, then he tested to see how much of it could fit inside his mouth, About three-quarters of it fit comfortably inside. He began bobbing his head up and down, clumsily yet carefully moving his mouth and his tongue, acting mostly on guesswork.
"F… fff… Fuck!" moaned Caesar, unable to hold his voice back anymore. Joseph felt slightly proud of himself for making his friend make such a noise. The blond's breathing got rougher and rougher, so Joseph felt it was appropriate to move faster and faster, moving his tongue up and down Caesar's shaft, then playing with his head, planting soft kisses on it in between taking it all in his mouth.
Caesar was holding onto his blankets so hard that his knuckles were white, and his breathing got faster with every second.
"J- Joseph… Joseph, I'm…" he breathed out, unable to form a complete sentence.
Joseph, being inexperienced and drunk, did not understand what his friend was trying to say until it was too late. Caesar exploded in his mouth, and he could feel the twitching and trembling of his cock inside his mouth. He pulled his mouth away, and some semen dripped from his mouth in the process. He did not know what to do with what was left in his mouth. Would spitting it out be rude? Would it be too weird if he swallowed?
"I- oh my god- I'm so sorry I should have- oh god Joseph I'm sorry." Caesar lost his usual cool self between the alcohol and the blowjob. His face was bright red and he looked around to find something for Joseph to spit into. However, before he could find anything, Joseph swallowed most of it while staring directly into his eyes.
"We're not done yet," he said. This only made Caesar blush more, before regaining composure (as much as he could while drunk, of course). Of course not. The bet was still on. So as soon as he was able to react, he pushed Joseph against the wall and zipped down his jeans. The brunette was wearing underwear, of course, and the shape of his penis was clearly visible through it. He planted soft kisses through the fabric, paying special attention to the precum-soaked spot around the head. Joseph's breathing got heavier, but he was too embarrassed to show how much he was enjoying it.
After doing this for a few seconds, Caesar grew impatient and pulled down his friend's boxers. Without hesitating, he took it all into his mouth at once. This time, Joseph did moan, and way more loudly than he would have liked. Caesar was satisfied to know his longtime friend had such poor control over the sounds he made. He was tempted to stop and make a mocking comment, but decided it would be too mean. Instead, he kept moving his head up and down, expertly taking it all the way into his throat, while using his tongue to tease him. Joseph was a mess, panting and moaning and grasping at whatever he could - the sheets, the pillows, the upper bunk - until his hands finally settled into Caesar's hair, tangling between the strands and pulling slightly.
"Caesar… C-Caesar… Ah…" between the booze and the pleasure, he completely lost control of what he said "F-fuck... Caesar!"
Caesar kept going, enjoying the praise, and Joseph couldn't help but wonder if he'd done this before. He seemed pretty in control, and like he knew what he was doing. However, he eventually had to stop, as his jaw was starting to hurt, and the deep-throating motion combined with the vodka might end up making him throw up.
"I take it back," said Caesar with a half-smile "You're not quick at all."
Joseph, fully engulfed by passion (and alcohol) grunted and pushed Caesar against the bed again, this time more carefully than before, and whispered in his ear.
"I want… to fuck you."
Caesar blushed, but he also liked his partner's bluntness.
"Uh… Okay… Wait a minute" he tried to reach out under the bed from under Joseph, but it proved difficult.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking for lube… You'd probably tear me apart without it."
"W-wait, really?" Joseph's face turned slightly pink. He felt silly for asking.
"Wait… " Caesar's eyes narrowed "... Is this your first time with a guy?"
"Caesar… Are you saying this isn't your first time with a guy?" he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"I… You… You didn't know?"
"I, uh…" Joseph did not know how to react. A part of him was offended that his best friend had never told him, but at the same time he felt he might have been ignoring some serious signs. "Do you… need any help finding it?"
"Yeah, please. It's in the drawer right behind me. Right under where we left the vodka." Caesar pointed at it. "You're so cute when you're nervous."
It was the alcohol speaking, of course. Not that Caesar did not think that, just that he'd never say it out loud. But, out of all the things they'd done, it was what it took.
"Wh-whaat? Don't say stuff like that, man!" Joseph flinched. He kept reaching over to the drawer, oblivious to what he'd just done. He was about to reach the lube when Caesar spoke up.
"Heh… You just lost."
Joseph's surprise was such that he moved violently, and in the process pushed the vodka bottle off the shelf. It shattered on the floor, spilling its contents.
"Shit!" both of them yelled at the same time. Joseph tried to stand up, forgetting he was drunk and on the bottom bunk, and hit his head on the top bunk.
"Joseph! Are you ok?"
"Y-yeah… I… Ouch… Sorry about the bottle."
Once they calmed down from the initial shock of the bottle breaking, Caesar stood up to clean it up. He was exactly as drunk as Joseph, but felt guilty about surprising his friend like that. He quickly realized that there was no way he could do it in his state.
"Ah… Forget it, I'll clean it up in the morning."
They both sat awkwardly, naked and erect and trying to figure out what to do next.
"So, um…" Joseph spoke with the bottle of lube still in his hand "What now…"
"Well… You just lost… But there's no more booze." Caesar trailed off "You… We don't have to keep doing this."
Joseph suddenly grinned
"Well… We don't have to…" he crawled on top of Caesar again, who was visibly surprised "But I lost, right? And it would be a shame to let the mood go to waste."
Caesar was still surprised. Did Joseph want to keep going, despite the game being over? Of course, if he'd gone so far within the game he was obviously enjoying himself, but still… They could no longer blame their competitiveness for what would happen.
"Unless you don't want to, of course." Joseph suddenly felt embarrassed. Maybe he thinks I'm being rude? Assuming that because he fucks guys, he wants to fuck me? Oh god did I just fuck up?
"Joseph", Caesar leaned in and spoke softly into his ear "please, please fuck me."
"A-Alright! Alrighty!" Smooth. "I, uh. I have no idea of how to do this."
Caesar smirked, his smug, annoying smirk. Joseph found it strangely hot now. The blond took his hand and the bottle of lube and put some lube into his fingers.
"First, you have to do this... " he slowly guided his partner's hand into his entrance. Surely he knew what to do next.
Joseph hesitantly inserted one finger, then moved it tentatively around. It felt so tight! How was his dick supposed to fit in there? Wouldn't it hurt?
If it hurt, Caesar certainly wasn't showing it. Instead, his breathing was getting rougher, and his penis, slightly softened by the incident earlier, seemed to be growing again.
"Now… Another one…" he begged. Joseph complied, and found that each following movement was met with less resistance from his friend's muscles. The moans and breaths were making him hard again too.
When he felt he was sufficiently relaxed, Joseph applied some lube on his own erection. He shuddered a little when the cold gel touched his penis, still warm from Caesar's blowjob either, then he pressed it carefully against Caesar's entrance.
"Ok… I'm going in…" he warned
"Yes Joseph, I can tell," even when about to get fucked, Caesar still found the will to be a smartass. Joseph found it slightly endearing now.
He first pushed his head in slowly, careful to not hurt his best friend. Caesar bit his lower lip, and Joseph delicately moved his shaft inside as well. It was unlike anything he'd felt before, soft, warm, and humid. It felt even better than his mouth, and he had to restrain himself from moving too harshly and hurting his friend. When it was fully inside, he felt himself hitting something that felt different, and Caesar let out a loud moan.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes… Please keep going."
Joseph had never seen him so defenseless. He moved tentatively at first, and with each thrust, Caesar made hungry, aroused noises. He started doing it faster, and with it his partner's voice got louder and louder, but they were both too drunk and horny to care. After a few minutes, the alcohol started taking its toll on Joseph, who was running out of breath.
"Heh… So you weren't kidding about this being your first time." Caesar joked. "Lie back. I'll take it from here."
Joseph obeyed and lay on his back. Caesar got on top of him and guided the brunette's dick with his hand into his entrance. He straddled him, and his cock went in without a problem this time. He clenched his muscles around his erection, moving slowly at first, slowly building up to a quicker pace. After a minute, he was bouncing on his friend's cock, moaning and panting without restraint. Joseph, looking for something to grab on to, placed his hands firmly on his partner's hips, deepening each thrust. He felt like he was going crazy, both from the sensation and from the sight of Caesar going wild on top of him. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, or if that night's events had unveiled feelings he'd been trying to keep under cover, but he'd never been so aroused in his life. Soon he found himself close to the edge, moaning his friend's name desperately.
"Caesar… Caesar… God, I'm about to… I'm going to…" before he could finish his sentence, Caesar's muscles clenched around him
"Ahh.. JoJo!" he cried out, spilling himself all over his own chest, and Joseph's. The tension and sight were all it took to make Joseph come as well.
They stayed like that, catching their breaths and letting the reality of what they'd just done sink in, until Caesar, exhausted, plopped himself on top of Joseph.
"Shit, I…" the brunette struggled to find the words he wanted. The alcohol was wearing off, but he was still under the post-sex haze "I had no idea…"
"That I was bisexual? Or that sex with a man felt this good?"
"Neither… Shit… Does this make me gay? My first time was with a guy! Shit! This makes me gay!" he panicked
"No… It could make you bisexual." Caesar joked "Or… You could just be straight, experimenting" he added the last sentence with a slightly disappointed tone in his voice.
Joseph sensed the disappointment and felt something strange. Maybe it was still the alcohol. Maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, it pushed him to kiss Caesar softly on the lips.
"Could we… Could we do that again sometime?" he asked delicately. Or as delicately as Joseph Joestar could.
Caesar couldn't help but smile. "Of course."
They both closed their eyes and dozed off to sleep, until Caesar remembered the bottle on the floor.
"Shit! If that leaves a stain, I'm gonna get charged, and I'll get a fine for having alcohol on campus!" he yelled as he pushed Joseph off him and cleaned up the mess. Afterward, however, they snuggled together awkwardly on the twin-sized bed and went to sleep.
The next morning, Joseph woke up before Caesar. Miraculously, he was not hungover, however, it still took him a few minutes to recall last night's events.
"Oh shit!" he shouted, waking up his friend.
"Do you have to be so loud all the time?" Without alcohol in the way, Caesar's typical mood was back, but he went bright red when he realized they were both naked in the same bed and remembered what had happened.
"I… Uh… I have to go… My roommate… He might worry I got kidnaped or something" he explained awkwardly as he climbed out of bed.
"Oh… You're, you're right. Go. Yeah, you should go"
Joseph got dressed awkwardly, under his partner's slightly sad stare.
"Hey, do you want to, maybe, I dunno, watch a movie later?" he proposed. Caesar seemed to light up at the idea.
"Yeah! I mean. Sure. Sounds cool."
Joseph kissed Caesar's forehead and left the room, leaving his friend blushing and content.
When he walked into his own room, his roommate greeted him.
"Oh, hey dude," he said, "Man, you're so lucky you did not sleep here last night."
"Huh? Why?" Joseph was puzzled.
"I dunno where you went, but it couldn't have been worse than here. The guy next door kept making all these weird noises. Sounded like he was getting fucked. I think he might be gay. Can you imagine that? How gross! He lives right next door! If he hits on my I'm kicking his ass. Fucking faggot."
Joseph didn't even realize that he'd punched his roommate until he saw his nose bleeding. A week later, due to "unsolvable differences", Joseph had been reassigned to room 425.