Disclaimer: I own nothing Criminal Minds related. This is purely for fun.
ADDICT
Agent Hotchner had come for an update with Reid, after his second month of forced rest. He didn't wanted to make a negative report about his subordinate before. He had wanted to give him a chance to recover, to become clean.
At the FBI, the superiors were ignorant of the situation of Spencer Reid. Only the team knew. They had all guessed, from the beginning, that their young colleague had fallen into the drugs. After what he went through, after what Tobias Hankel had made to him, they all understood that Reid could fall. But now, he has to recovers. Nearly ten months had passed since the kidnapping by Tobias Hankel. Reid had hid his addiction for a whole three month. He seems unmotivated, apathetic, even more antisocial than usual, He had difficulty to concentrate, but his job was done properly then.
And, in May, he began to stop coming to work without reasons, he wasn't always answering his phone and he had missed two planes.
Hotch had forced him to go for a sick leave, hoping that a little rest would help him to pull himself together. But, when he came back, the situation had worsened. Reid had alternated his summer holidays and various absences justified by medical certificates.
In September, Hotch had resolved to give him an ultimatum: Reid had to enter into rehab if he did not want to be fired. Reid had left after only four days in the clinic. He has signed a release and he was gone. The clinic had called to inform Hotch… and Hotch had not told anyone of this failure. He wanted to give him yet another chance.
He called Reid fairly regulary to make sure everything was alright. Reid, after many riggings, always ended by answering his phone. He tried to convince Hotchner that he was getting better, that he had entered into a new program in another clinic…
Hotch knew he was lying, and instead of getting better, he was getting worse everyday. Reid had this hoarse and slow voice that only belong to the addicts.
And, they had this case… This horrible serial killer that the team had to go hunting in California. Hotch had gone away, he had been busy for weeks.
When he came back to Los Angeles, He called Reid. The first few days, the young man had picked up the phone. And then, nothing. Hotch had insisted. He called again and again... But Reid had stop answering the phone.
Hotch had left messages.
But, nothing.
Two months had passed. The sick leave was over. The young agent was supposed to come to the office yesterday. He didn't come.
Aaron Hotchner couldn't do anything for Reid. He would have to do a report that would lead to his suspension, or more probably to his eviction from the FBI. Professionally, Reid was dead.
Hotch was saddened by the inevitable consequences. He just hoped that his agent was going well and that, by force of will, and with his help, he would eventually get out. That's why he was here, to help him.
Hotch rang at the door of the building where Reid lived.
No answer.
He introduced himself to the guard, showed his ID and the guard let him penetrate the building.
« Ah! The FBI? Well! At last! I called the police several times because of this apartment, and they did nothing. The neighbours are complaining. It comes at all hours of days and nights… They're loud like if there is always a party. Last night, they disturbed all the building. ».
Hotch winced at the situation which promised to be worse than he had imagined. He thanked the guard and went to Reid's apartment. He knocked but no one answered. Just in case, Hotch turned the handle. The door was not even locked.
He went in and heard two clear laughter of girls. He found them in the kitchen smoking a joint in the middle of the dirty dishes and pizza leftover. They seemed barely adults. They were dirty, slovenly, with black around the eyes and make-up that had sunk miserably.
The girls looked at Hotch with dull eyes.
« You want some? » asked one of them.
Hotch did not answer and glanced at the room. The trash was overflowing, the food was rotting and the fridge was left open... The kitchen smelled bad.
He returned to the hallway and went to the living room. One guy was sleeping shirtless on the couch, mouth open. He drooled.
Another, sitting cross-legged near the coffee table was doing a trail of coke while watching the TV on mute. On the screen, a girl, dressed in fluorescent pink, was doing cardiovascular workouts in slow motion. It seems unreal.
Hotch left the room and walked to the bedroom at the back of the apartment.
He quietly opened the door and in the darkness, he saw bodies lying in the bed. Hotch let his eyes get used to the semi-darkness… and let his mind understand what he had before his eyes.
In the middle of crumpled sheets, he saw three bodies entwined. Two strangers ... and Reid in the middle.
They were all fully naked ... their bodies exhibited in an indecent manner.
Hotch walked slowly to the bed and lighted the little lamp. On the bedside table, he saw the tourniquet, needles and vials. He methodically picked up a vial and read the label: Dilaudid. Next to it, a bent spoon, some aluminum foil and a white powder. Heroine.
Aaron could see traces of injections on Spencer's arms. There were many.
Hotch felt helpless. He had no idea what to do. Eyes fixed on the skinny body of Reid, asleep between the two guys; he was fixed, frozen by the forfeiture of his young agent. How could Reid fall so low? How could he have let his apartment be turned into a squat?
Hotch walked to the bed and shook the shoulder of the guy nearest to the edge of the mattress. The man eventually opens his eyes.
«What's going on, man? » he muttered with a cold look.
«Get out … » Hotch said in a voice cold and sharp, but very calm.
«Fuck you, man! I am fine here! »
Hotch clenched his jaws and repeated in a threatening voice: « I told you to leave this bed ... Now! ».
« Oh! Man! You're pissing me off! What got you excited like this? You aren't getting laid? You want the kid, here? » the stranger got angry while pointing to the naked body of Reid. «If you give the dough, man, you can do whatever you want to him. No problem! But if you don't have the money, you leave, got it? »
Hotch undid his jacket, revealing the weapon he carried at his waist, to make it very apparent. Then, he pulled out his ID: FBI letters appeared in large print. « Now it's you who will go away from the bed or I'll lock you up for a few long years, understood? »
« Ok, ok! No problem… I didn't know… I swear! And I was kidding about the kid… » The guy got out of bed very quickly and picked up his things in a hurry.
The sound of voices and the sound of the agitation had awakened Reid and the second stranger. Hotch looked at the man lying near his young agent and held out his ID: « You too go away from there, immediately».
The guy rushed out of bed without hesitation.
Hotch did not even turn around to look if they were going. He knew instinctively that they obeyed him.
He stared at the empty eyes of Reid who looked with an expression of dullness …. His eyes seemed dead. Reid did not even seem really embarrassed, as if he was indifferent to himself.
The young man ran his tongue over his lips; his mouth was dry. He murmured in a husky voice: « I… I forgot… » And as Hotch opened his eyes round with astonishment, Reid thought it was best to clarify: « This morning… to show up… I'm late… but… I… It's gonna be okay… If you give me some time, I'll be ready… to go… at work… ».
« That was yesterday… » dropped Hotch, crushed to see how Reid was out of it.
« …oh… » Spencer frowned, lost. Hotch could see at the bottom of his dilated pupils that he was completely stoned.
« What day is it? » he asked, passing his hand over his face, as if trying to clear it.
Hotch did not even reply. « Reid, what are they, those guys? »
The young man appeared annoyed by the question: « They are… some friends… ».
«Friends who'll sell you for a little money to the first stranger who comes? » Hotch did not want to scream but rage took him. Narcotics cases, he knew them, unfortunately, by heart. Violence, beatings, prostitution and rape... It was always dirty.
«They fuck you, right? All these guys who squat here, they come to take advantage of you, and in every sense of the term, am I right? Steal your house, take your money and, above all, physically abuse you!
« Hotch… » Reid began, still half numb. But his superior could not stop screaming his despair at such a mess.
« Who are they? Well? Their names, Reid! »
Reid bit his lower lip; he seems like a lost child
Seeing the face off his subordinate, Hotch had the feeling of receiving a blow on the head. His voice was quieter, as if he had lost the strength to get upset: « Damn, you don't even know who they are? »
Reid looked down
«You let all those dealers come to you, all these squatters, these strangers, and you let them… » Hotch seemed to search for words but could not even finish his sentence. It was too difficult. "... And all this for a few bottles of Dilaudid ..."
Hotch, in despair, let himself fall heavily on the bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress near the amorphous body of Reid.
« And, cover yourself… » Hotch sighed catching the hem of the cloth. He threw it awkwardly on Reid's legs.
Spencer seemed to realize suddenly that he was completely naked in front of his boss. Suddenly struck by the indecency of his situation, he blushed and covered his sex and his belly with the sheets. Hotch noticed they were soiled.
« Why, Reid? Why? »
Reid simply shrugged his shoulders, fiddling with a fold of the sheet. He dared not look up at Hotch.
Aaron breathed slowly and said in a calm and gentle voice: «Why do you hurt yourself so much? Why are you destroying yourself like that? »
Still looking at the sheet, Reid whispered: « You can't understand… »
"If you explain it to me, I can understand everything ... even that."
Reid chuckled mockingly. He did not believe a word. «No one can understand… »
« Reid… I beg you … Let me help… »
Spencer finally raises his head. «You really want to help me, Hotch? » He held out his arm destroyed by the injections and said with a rebellious air: « Then give me an injection ».
Hotch looked at Reid's arm with his eyes full of horror. How could he ask that?
«You do not even realize what you are saying … » Aaron Hotchner said, his stomach knotted. «I want to help you out of your addiction! Not push further in it! »
Reid stared at Hotch and spat aggressively: «If you don't want to plant this needle in me, get out! »
« Reid… please… »
« Get the fuck out! » Reid's voice went up into highs. « Get the hell out of here! Leave me alone! » he yelled. Then the young officer held out his hand toward the bedside table and grabbed with a quick movement the tourniquet, the syringe and a vial of Dilaudid.
« Don't do it… »
«If you don't want to see 'it', then leave. … » Reid replied with a calm voice again. «Leave me alone … ». He set up the rubber tourniquet, drawing the link through his teeth to properly tighten it.
Hotch got up from bed, his eyes filling with tears. He felt helpless. He felt useless. He could not save Reid against his will.
The young officer looked for the vein, transplanting his arm. The Dilaudid is diffused instantly in his body, destroying his whole mind and destroying his whole being...
Hotch felt sick.
Hotch looked away: « You take a masochistic pleasure in hurting you, in destroying yourself in drugs, in letting all these guys humiliate you... ». The tone of his voice was cold, like full of disgust. « … You take pleasure in destroying yourself … »
Spencer did not even answer. He had put the empty syringe, and his head thrown back, he let himself get high.
«You're trying to kill yourself by inches… » sighed Hotch, demoralized. He stepped back slowly towards the hall, throwing the boy a last look desperate.
But Spencer was already far away. Hotch could say or do whatever he wanted, he was completely indifferent. He did not see him; he did not listen to him. He did not even realize that he was no longer in the room.
The front door slammed.
Hotch had just go away, but Reid had already forgotten.
He had also forgotten the FBI, his colleagues, his work ... All this no longer mattered. He only cared about the drugs. No matter if they fuck him, if they beat him, if they do all they want with him. Reid wanted to just stop thinking, to not remember.
In his semi-consciousness, Reid heard the door open, some movements in the corridor, and then a voice: « Hey! Spencer! I have a delivery for you … It's your favourite… Say that you love me… ». Two men entered the room, and the one who had spoken said: « Pay now. The house does not make credit».
The dealer put two bottles near the bed and asked, "Where's the money? »
Spencer pointed weakly the bedside table: "... ... second drawer."
The man took the envelope and stuffed it into the inside pocket of his jacket after checking the contents.
He turned to the guy who was with him and whispered: « He suits you ...? ». The other, his eyes hypnotized by the slender body and angelic face of Reid, was staring with hungry eyes. He simply nods his head slowly.
The dealer gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and whispered in his ear: « You'll have for your money… I'm expensive, I know, but you saw the quality of the merchandise? And you can do to him whatever you want … ».
Then, turning to Reid, the dealer explained: « The money was for the order. I made you a great price. Now we still have to set the price of the delivery … You see it with him … » said the dealer, indicating the silent type beside him. He gave an evil smile: «By nature, this time … ».
He then stepped back to the threshold of the room and said to his client: "I'll wait for you in the living room ... Take your time ..."
The door closed on Reid and the stranger who was undressing.
Spencer didn't seems to care. He doesn't care. He allowed the man to lie down beside him and to touch him with his hands rough and vicious.
Reid hated it. But he felt like he deserved nothing but the permanent humiliation, nothing but this slow and irresistible degradation. He could never fall low enough.
Never…
« You are stronger than him. He cannot break you.… » Jason Gideon had whispered in the image displayed on the computer screen, when Reid was a prisoner.
Yes… Tobias Hankel can. He could. He did it.
All those killings, all these deaths, all the blood ... too much pressure that Reid could not bear. He wanted to erase all that, delete this horror that is rotting his mind and join Tobias in their artificial paradise that his captor had himself initiated. Act as if he was not dead ... as if he had not killed ... as if it never happened.
And for that he was willing to pay.
Ready to pay any price to finally forget everything.