Summary: When a biased teacher finds out about Lupins condition he sets a task, write an essay on the ways to recognise and kill a werewolf. Features the essays of the angry marauders in their seventh year.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did do you think I would be writing for fanfic

Remus Lupin picked up his quill, and started writing

How to recognise and kill a werewolf

By Remus J Lupin

I know you have set my class this essay in the hopes of revealing my identity, and you think that all werewolves are scum who don't deserve to live. Now before you mark this as a T without reading it, I suggest you take your time to learn something new about the people you shun.

If you wish to kill a werewolf, a simple avada kedavra will do. Unfortunately most people believe that the only way to kill a werewolf is silver. Therefore on the full moon people walk round with solid silver knives, and guns loaded with silver bullets, what they don't realise is that this will slowly kill the werewolf, and they will probably be killed in the time it takes for the werewolf to die. In reality it is much easier kill a werewolf, a simple killing curse would be quick and painless, or if you wish to do something "lighter" then a cutting curse to the neck would work. Using silver to kill a werewolf however is more painful than the cruciatus curse

The most well-known ways of recognising a werewolf are the elongated muzzle and tufted tail, but let's face it if you can recognise these features you are already dead. Other ways to identify werewolves include the mating howl, which can be heard across areas when it is the full moon, but do remember that the being is only a monster once a month. If you wish to find a werewolf amongst a group of people, look for the one that distances themselves from all the people, because the fear they will one day hurt them against their will. Look for the person who sits alone afraid of becoming close with someone as it may cause them to be injured. Look for the person who wears daggy clothes because no one will employ them because of their "condition." Look for the person who always disappears once a month.

The day someone becomes a werewolf a group of ministry wizards show up and present the infected person with a book, containing 184 938 rules for the person to abide by, this book must always be found on the werewolf. If the person breaks anyone of these rules ten seconds later a group of 25 hit wizards show up and drag the person to a secret room hidden under the ministry of magic, in that room is a gun loaded with a single silver bullet. On the night of the full moon just as the werewolf starts to transform they are shot in the heart and must wait to die, before one day they are just another faded bullet stain on the wall.

Rule 293: The werewolf must not touch a member of the opposite sex. This means I can never have a relationship, I cannot be hugged by my mother, and if I ever fall ill I must make sure my healer is a male. This means after every full moon Hogwarts must import a male healer to tend to my injuries.

Rule 123 954: The werewolf must not ask for a pay rise. As most employers know this rule we are paid the base wage of one sickle a day, but as we cannot touch a sickle as it is silver and rule 182 299 says we can't own gallons, all money must be either a knut or a sickle we must wait for the employer to stock enough knuts to pay we don't receive the base wage, and are fired for the trouble we cause to the employer.

So professor if you want to find a werewolf in a crowd of people, look for the person who skips around people, and refuses to meet any ones eye or talk to any one for fear of one day hurting them. Look for a person who makes the best of what they have, because they know it won't last. Look for the person who is afraid of becoming just another blood stain on that wall far below the ministry.

I thought this would be an interesting story for people to read, and if people really like it I will put more essays from people like Snape, Lily and the other marauders. Please review, and thank you all for reading

Hydri out!