Chapter 1
Sherlock's P.O.V
Sherlock paced the small room waiting for John to arrive. A creak from below signalled someone was on their way up the stairs. He heard a steady beat of shoes on wood but knew by the sound that it not John but indeed Ms. Hudson. He let out an annoyed sigh when she lightly knocked on the door. John said he would be here by three and it was already three-oh-two.
"Sherlock" Called Ms. Hudson from the door. She walked in with a small tray, two cups of tea and a small plate of biscuits on it. "Have you heard anything from John yet?" She set the tray on the kitchen table and walked to when Sherlock was still pacing.
"No, he must still be at the courthouse. The judge must be really trying to find a way to keep them together." John had finally confess to Mary the other day that he had no feelings towards her any more. She had been shocked with his outburst. In a fit of rage and shock, she had punched him squarely in the face. That night she had disappeared for 3 days and when she returned alcohol on her breath, she had sat down with him and they had agreed to a divorce.
"It's a shame really" Ms. Hudson exclaimed when plonked herself down on John's chair. It always annoyed him with other people sat in John's armchair, the reason unknown to him."They seemed like such a lovely, happy couple." She said sadness almost drowning her words. "And Mary seemed such a lovely girl, I wonder what happened." She sighed as she stood once more. "You should have some tea, Sherlock it's good for the nerves." She grabbed the tray and put it on Sherlock's desk. She walked over to the door, looked back once then walked out the door. Sherlock suddenly stopped pacing and took a cup and saucer and sat down. He though about the conversation he and John had about 2 months ago. It felt like years ago but also felt like just minutes before.
John being John didn't talk about his feelings much but when he did, he talked about it all.
2 months before
"I just don't love her any more" John confessed. "It's like ever since I found out about her past, I can't look at her the same way"
"So you did read her file?" Sherlock asked. He wasn't that surprised as he had the suspicion. The way John held himself around Mary, like a soldier awaiting an ambush. Sherlock was still disappointed that when he first met Mary, he didn't pick out the obvious signs of an ex-agent but when thinking about John, well, that was the effect John could have on him. The though of this made Sherlock blush ever so slightly, a feeling he wasn't accustomed to. He quickly shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. When he looked back up, a confused John was looking at him, worry in his eyes. His eyes...
"Sherlock, are you alright?" John asked worry lacing his words.
"Yes, yes I'm fine, now you were saying?"
"I was telling you that since I read her file, I can't look at her in the same way."
"John did you ever really love her?" Sherlock asked a little spit of envy came out with the last word.
"I-I don't think so Sherlock, maybe I never loved her at all. I needed to fill the void you left in me when you... disappeared and... I guess she was the first person who could do a little of that for me."
Sherlock never would have though in his lifetime that he could have kind of effect on people never mind John. Oh John... The war hero, the doctor, the detectives best friend, his... friend. Oh how Sherlock though of John. The ways he wanted to be with John. He never told anyone about this not even Mycroft who knew most Sherlock's secrets. When Sherlock started to notice signs that John didn't love Mary any more he desperately, selfishly wanted it to be true. He desperately wanted John to love him and love him only because for Sherlock, John was the only man for him.
"Sherlock are you even listening?" John inquired. John looked so perfect there, in that moment. A small glimmer of hope bloomed in Sherlock and he knew that there may come a time when John could maybe feel the same way.
"Sorry John I was just lost in thought, start again."