Hello everyone! DISCLAIMER: Ed Elric, Al Elric, Hawkeye, Bradley, Barry the Chopper, Hughes, Mustang & co., etc. © Hiromu Arakawa / Marina © author.

Key:

Normal text - speaking/narration

Italics - thoughts

And without further ado, here is A Crash Course In Alchemy! ^^

Ch. 1: New Soul

I walked into Fuhrer Bradley's office. "Ah, welcome to Central, Marina! I hope your trip wasn't too bad."

"No, sir."

"Good, good. Marina, I'd like you to meet First Lieutenant Hawkeye. You will be staying at her house while you are in Central." The lieutenant was a blond woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties. I bowed to the lieutenant. "It's an honor to meet you lieutenant. Thank you for letting me stay with you."

The Fuhrer turned to Hawkeye. "Lieutenant, would it be too much trouble to ask you to take Marina on a tour around headquarters?"

"Not at all sir."

"Excellent! Marina, I shall leave you in very competent hands."

"Sir!" I saluted my uncle. On the way out of the office, the lieutenant laid down some house rules as we walked down one of the many hallways in headquarters. "Rule number one: call me Riza if it's just the two of us in the area. However, if my colleagues are around, call me Lieutenant, or Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Yes ma'am!"

While walking around, we ran into Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, who proceeded to bombard me and Hawkeye with pictures of his 2 year old daughter Elysia. "Look at her: isn't she an angel?" Little hearts started to appear around his head. "I bet you want to meet her, right? Of course you do! Here's her new bathing suit, here she is on her tricyc–"

"Hughes, that's enough!" An angry tick-mark had found its way onto Hawkeye's temple, and Hughes, wisely valuing his life, decided to stop.

We continued our way down the long hall and I called back to Hughes, "Nice to meet you sir!"

At long last, we stopped in front of a door. Lieutenant Hawkeye opened said door, revealing five men sitting in chairs. All had bored looks on their faces until Hawkeye introduced me. "Gentlemen, meet Marina, the Fuhrer's niece. Marina, these are my colleagues Lieutenant Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Lieutenant Jean Havoc, Sergeant Kain Fuery, and my superior Colonel Roy Mustang."

Half an hour of interrogation later, we all heard approaching footsteps, and the door opened with a bang, thanks to a red-soled black boot. "MUSTANG!!! I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK……..with……..you." The person to whom the boot belonged entered the room, followed by a rather tall suit of armor. His yell subsided when he noticed someone he didn't know, AKA me. The boy was somewhat short, with shoulder-length blond hair that was held back in a braid. He wore a red coat over simple black pants and shirt.

The suit of armor commented, "Wow, you're pretty!"

I blushed a bit. "Thanks."

"Al!" hissed the blond.

"Sorry, Brother."

"Permission to smack him Sir?" Hawkeye inquired.

Colonel Mustang smirked and replied, "Permission granted." All of a sudden, Hawkeye smacked the blond boy.

"OW! What the heck was THAT for?!"

"Is that any way to behave in front of the Fuhrer's niece?"

"Hahaha, sorry about my little brother." The blond apologized, scratching the back of his head in slight embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it. Wait, he's your little brother? But you're so sho–" I was cut off due to a gloved hand over my mouth.

"That word––and any other word related to height, for that matter––is taboo around brother. He'll get really mad," explained the suit of armor, who was apparently named Al. I nodded vigorously to show my understanding, and my mouth was uncovered again.

Lieutenant Hawkeye then formally introduced me to Al and his brother. "Marina, meet the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, and his brother Alphonse Elric. Ed, Al, this is Marina." I bowed to Edward.

"Congratulations, Fullmetal Alchemist, sir."

Al inquired, "How'd you know that Brother was the Fullmetal Alchemist and not me?"

Ed chipped in with, "Yeah, and what's with the congratulations?"

"Well, the silver chain in Edward's pocket kinda gave it away. I'm not that stupid, you know. Edward, I've heard that you earned your state alchemist title at the age of twelve to become the youngest state alchemist in the history of Amestris. I think that's reason enough to congratulate."

"You have a point," Ed acknowledged.

"Awwwww look, Fullmetal has a crush on Marina!" noted Havoc. Hawkeye acquired an evil glint in her eyes that was somehow missed by her co-workers. Meanwhile, an awkward silence reigned between me and Ed. I saw Lieutenant Hawkeye sneaking Mustang and co. out, and briefly wondered what my guardian was up to. Thinking further along that train of thought, I decided that I didn't even WANT to know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 week later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Sergeant Fuery, have you seen Marina around anywhere?"

"I think she went to the cafeteria to get food. You just missed her, sorry Ed."

"Thanks." Sighing, Ed trotted off to the HQ cafeteria, Al trailing behind. When they arrived at their destination, I was nowhere to be found. Puzzled, Ed went outside where a pair of cracked, purple glasses caught his eye. Those are Marina's! What the hell are they doing on the ground and why are they cracked? He picked them up, and his eyes wandered over to some suspicious-looking tire tracks that continued down the road. Concerned, Ed began to follow them. After following the tracks, Ed wound up at the back door of a butcher's freeze locker.

Kicking the door open, he saw rows upon rows of hanging pig carcasses. "Folks, we have a winner! Congratulations to the Fullmetal Alchemist! As your prize, I shall allow you to see who my next victim shall be." The voice cackled maniacally. A row of pig carcasses moved to reveal me.

My hands were tied above my head to a chain that was connected to a row of pig carcasses, and I had a rag in my mouth that prevented me from crying out for help. "MARINA-CHAN!!!!" I looked up and saw Ed by a door. A man with a butcher's knife came out from behind one of the rows of hanging meat. "Excuse me, where are my manners? Welcome to my shop Fullmetal. I am Barry the butcher, but people call me Barry the Chopper." Barry then noticed my appearance. "What? How could your cuts heal so fast?! I suppose I'll have to break a couple of bones then." With a crazed look in his eyes, Barry the Chopper came at me fast, hitting me in the chest with the blunt end of the knife. There was an audible crack as several of my ribs broke. I tried to cough up blood, but the rag in my mouth prevented me from clearing my throat completely. I heard Ed call my name for a second time before my world went black.