"Hello? Hello? Is this even on Linsey?"
[Camera focuses on Juliana]
Juli: Is it on?
Linsey: [Offscreen] Yep. C'mon, lets get this over with, this is embarrassing enough.
Juli: What is?
Linsey: Standing in line for a Movie that doesn't start until next week!
Juli: Bah. It's not that bad…There are five people in front of us! [points to five crazed fans dressed in Star Wars regalia] Anyway peoples, this is Day one. There are three of us - well, technically two. Linsey isn't staying overnight.
Linsey: [mutters] You're damn right.
Juli: ANYway…It's just me and Ashley. [motions to the girl who is waving frantically to the camera]
Ashley: HI MOM!
Juli: Yes well, the battle is about to begin. We are armed with the necessities: Junk Food, Sleeping bags, Tents in case it rains, Toothbrushes, Toilet paper (ya just never know…), Cd's, blankets…
Ashley: Pictures of HOT guys! [Holds up a picture of a really sexy, half nekkid guy]
Juli: Hell yeah! We are prepared to stay here for an entire week until that precious moment-
Ashley: Dun dun dun….
Juli: When we will be able to se STAR WARS EPISODE 2!
Ashley: ATTACK OF THE CLONES! [laughs hysterically]
Linsey: [Offscreen] Goddamn! [The camera is dropped and we can barely see Linsey chasing after some gorgeous guy. He stares at her, and then Linsey jumps him and they both fall to the ground]
Ashley: [Offscreen] I guess we'll see you later then!
Juli: [Offscreen] Oh no….
Ashley: What?
Juli: I forgot to bring the Medications…
Ashley: Holy fuckable padawan, Bad-man!
Juli: I know…DUN DUN DUN!!
[Fade to black]
Juli: [sitting among a sea of Star Wars books] Is it possible I'm bored already?
Ashley: [sits cross egged on ground near Juli holding one book open] *sounding out words* Thhh-uuh shh-ipps hiii-per duh-rii-ve....
Linsey:[voice over] Why do you insist on recording every. single. day?
Juli: Hey, this is a historical event going on here! Ashley, I've got two words for you: "Hooked on Phonics"
Ashley: *counts on fingers while mumbling] Hey!! That's 4 words stupid! you might think I'm dum but when it comes to math...ha, I got you all beat by a looong shot!
Juli: I wish Obi-Wan were here. [looks up to the stars] Obi-Wan Kenobi, where are you?
[Suddenly out of nowhere a fat ugly hairy man dressed as Obi walks up to her]
Fat ugly hairy man dressed as Obi: I'm here my sweet love! May you search no more!
Juli: Oh please, get away! *shoves fat ugly hairy man dresses as Obi*
[Suddenly, out of nowhere, this little midget dressed as Yoda came up to them.]
Yoda midget: Yoda I am. Grant you a wish I will.
Juli: Really?! Wow, what should we wish for?!
Linsey: [under breath] a life?
Ashley: [bouncing giddily still holding the book] I know! I know! Hooked on Phon Ics!
Juli: NO YOU DUMBASS! We could have Han and Obi!
Yoda midget: Hooked on phonics, you shall have! [big box hits Ashley on the head]
Ashley: Ow.
Linsey: Hey! Where did that Yoda midget go? He's gone!
Juli: YOU LITTLE SLUT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! *runs to Ashley and assumes a choke hold on Ashley's neck*
*Ashley sits arms flailing tongue hanging out of her mouth*
Linsey: Are you two quite finished?
*both girls pause mometarily and look up*
Ashley and Juli in unison: No. *girls immediately return to previous actions*
[A mysterious voice takes shape - it sounds like a very certain padawan....]
Voice: Juliana? Juliana? Where are you?
Juli: [searching frantically] Obi?! Obi!? Where for art thou Obi?!?!
Voice: Obi? What the fuck are you on? It's me!
[Juliana's friend Tim appears with a backpack and sleeping bag] Hallucinating already? [chuckles] You're not going to make it.
Juli: Whatever! Go to the back of the line buster!
Tim: aw man....[trots away]
Linsey:[looks bewildered, eyes following Tim tot he back of the line till she can no longer see him] Where are you going?! Wait! Juli! Why can't he stay here?!?!?!?
Juli: Coz he's a sadastic prick who'll probably ruin our perfectly good video
Tim: I heard that!
Ashley: [sits olding book in one hand and phonics cards in the other] AEIOU, The ships hyperdrive was severly damaged...
Random guy next to her in line: WOW! That Phonics game really works!
Juli: Shaaadup! [opens a pepsi] [to camera] Only one calorie! Damn...you know what we really need?
Ashley: A good fuck?
Juli: Other than that........but hey, that would be nice.....[closes eyes and grins silly] Obiiiiiiiii.......
Linsey: [mutters] freak
Juli: SHADDUP! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE HE LOVES ME AND NOT YOU!!!!!!!! *sticks tongue out*
Juli: Anyway...we need some boyz to tortu---i mean, keep company with us
Ashley: [puts down phonics and books] Did somebody say torture?
Linsey: Holy fuck! you have a one track mind! You sadistic little bitch!
Juli: I wouldn't talk if I were you, but seriously guys...[something falls in her lap] What the fuck?
[It was a huge cookie and it said 'eat me' in small M&M's]
Juli: Eat me?
Horny young man: Okay!
Juli: Eeww....sicko.
Ashley:[runs up to cookie] I'll eat it! *immediately takes cookie from Juli and eats it*
Linsey: You'd eat anything you...oh my god!
*Ashley shrinks to the size of Thumbelina*
Juli: ASHLEY! That was a sugar cookie! My favorite kind! [a vial of liquid falls in her hand, it says drink me] uhh...ok. {drinks it and becoms 12 feet tall] woah! I can see my house from here! Now I know how Qui-Gon feels!!
Linsey:[ grabs head in hands...] *mumbles* I'm not seeing this...this isn't happening..I'm not hallucinating, I'm not going crazy....
Juli: HEY ASHLEY! Hows the weather down there! heh, I've always wanted to say that. (been 5 foot her whole life)
Ashley: {holds up other half of cookie that is now bigger than she is as best she can] Here! Eat this whole thing!!
Juli:[eats one bite, returns to regular size, eats the other bite and shrinks to Ashley's size] WHY!!!! I was so happy being tall for once in my life!!!
[suddenly, a bee buzzes past them]
Buzzing bee: I'm early! I'm early for a very stupid meeting! I'm early for once!
Ashley scratches head] Goddamn that bee is huge *continues to stare at the bee, baffled*
Juli: Hey bee! You wanna tell us whats going on?
Bee: Sure, you at the cookie and you shrunk. That's when I got here. Now, I hafta take you to a trippy new dimension where you can have unsafe sex with Many Jedi and never once worry about getting pregnant!
Juli: SUH-WEET!!!!
Linsey: [watching in disbelief] you are so horny Juli!
Juli: HAHA! And you can't come with us!
Linsey: Why would I want--AHH! (Takes after a hot guy)
Bee: Please climb on buckle your safety belts and please remain seated until the bee has come to a complete stop Thank you!
Juli: Hot damn! [jumps on] I feel like I'm at disney world
Ashley: Yeah this is so great! WAAAAIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!! I hafta grab my phonics!!!!
Juli: [grabs Ashley and puts back on Bee] NO TIME TO WASTE! HOT JEDI WAITING FOR A FUCK! MUST GO NOW!!!!
Bee: Thank you for flying B.E.E flyways, we will be taking off now
Juli: Any complimentary peantuts?
Bee: No.
[Camera focuses on Juliana]
Juli: Is it on?
Linsey: [Offscreen] Yep. C'mon, lets get this over with, this is embarrassing enough.
Juli: What is?
Linsey: Standing in line for a Movie that doesn't start until next week!
Juli: Bah. It's not that bad…There are five people in front of us! [points to five crazed fans dressed in Star Wars regalia] Anyway peoples, this is Day one. There are three of us - well, technically two. Linsey isn't staying overnight.
Linsey: [mutters] You're damn right.
Juli: ANYway…It's just me and Ashley. [motions to the girl who is waving frantically to the camera]
Ashley: HI MOM!
Juli: Yes well, the battle is about to begin. We are armed with the necessities: Junk Food, Sleeping bags, Tents in case it rains, Toothbrushes, Toilet paper (ya just never know…), Cd's, blankets…
Ashley: Pictures of HOT guys! [Holds up a picture of a really sexy, half nekkid guy]
Juli: Hell yeah! We are prepared to stay here for an entire week until that precious moment-
Ashley: Dun dun dun….
Juli: When we will be able to se STAR WARS EPISODE 2!
Ashley: ATTACK OF THE CLONES! [laughs hysterically]
Linsey: [Offscreen] Goddamn! [The camera is dropped and we can barely see Linsey chasing after some gorgeous guy. He stares at her, and then Linsey jumps him and they both fall to the ground]
Ashley: [Offscreen] I guess we'll see you later then!
Juli: [Offscreen] Oh no….
Ashley: What?
Juli: I forgot to bring the Medications…
Ashley: Holy fuckable padawan, Bad-man!
Juli: I know…DUN DUN DUN!!
[Fade to black]
Juli: [sitting among a sea of Star Wars books] Is it possible I'm bored already?
Ashley: [sits cross egged on ground near Juli holding one book open] *sounding out words* Thhh-uuh shh-ipps hiii-per duh-rii-ve....
Linsey:[voice over] Why do you insist on recording every. single. day?
Juli: Hey, this is a historical event going on here! Ashley, I've got two words for you: "Hooked on Phonics"
Ashley: *counts on fingers while mumbling] Hey!! That's 4 words stupid! you might think I'm dum but when it comes to math...ha, I got you all beat by a looong shot!
Juli: I wish Obi-Wan were here. [looks up to the stars] Obi-Wan Kenobi, where are you?
[Suddenly out of nowhere a fat ugly hairy man dressed as Obi walks up to her]
Fat ugly hairy man dressed as Obi: I'm here my sweet love! May you search no more!
Juli: Oh please, get away! *shoves fat ugly hairy man dresses as Obi*
[Suddenly, out of nowhere, this little midget dressed as Yoda came up to them.]
Yoda midget: Yoda I am. Grant you a wish I will.
Juli: Really?! Wow, what should we wish for?!
Linsey: [under breath] a life?
Ashley: [bouncing giddily still holding the book] I know! I know! Hooked on Phon Ics!
Juli: NO YOU DUMBASS! We could have Han and Obi!
Yoda midget: Hooked on phonics, you shall have! [big box hits Ashley on the head]
Ashley: Ow.
Linsey: Hey! Where did that Yoda midget go? He's gone!
Juli: YOU LITTLE SLUT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! *runs to Ashley and assumes a choke hold on Ashley's neck*
*Ashley sits arms flailing tongue hanging out of her mouth*
Linsey: Are you two quite finished?
*both girls pause mometarily and look up*
Ashley and Juli in unison: No. *girls immediately return to previous actions*
[A mysterious voice takes shape - it sounds like a very certain padawan....]
Voice: Juliana? Juliana? Where are you?
Juli: [searching frantically] Obi?! Obi!? Where for art thou Obi?!?!
Voice: Obi? What the fuck are you on? It's me!
[Juliana's friend Tim appears with a backpack and sleeping bag] Hallucinating already? [chuckles] You're not going to make it.
Juli: Whatever! Go to the back of the line buster!
Tim: aw man....[trots away]
Linsey:[looks bewildered, eyes following Tim tot he back of the line till she can no longer see him] Where are you going?! Wait! Juli! Why can't he stay here?!?!?!?
Juli: Coz he's a sadastic prick who'll probably ruin our perfectly good video
Tim: I heard that!
Ashley: [sits olding book in one hand and phonics cards in the other] AEIOU, The ships hyperdrive was severly damaged...
Random guy next to her in line: WOW! That Phonics game really works!
Juli: Shaaadup! [opens a pepsi] [to camera] Only one calorie! Damn...you know what we really need?
Ashley: A good fuck?
Juli: Other than that........but hey, that would be nice.....[closes eyes and grins silly] Obiiiiiiiii.......
Linsey: [mutters] freak
Juli: SHADDUP! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE HE LOVES ME AND NOT YOU!!!!!!!! *sticks tongue out*
Juli: Anyway...we need some boyz to tortu---i mean, keep company with us
Ashley: [puts down phonics and books] Did somebody say torture?
Linsey: Holy fuck! you have a one track mind! You sadistic little bitch!
Juli: I wouldn't talk if I were you, but seriously guys...[something falls in her lap] What the fuck?
[It was a huge cookie and it said 'eat me' in small M&M's]
Juli: Eat me?
Horny young man: Okay!
Juli: Eeww....sicko.
Ashley:[runs up to cookie] I'll eat it! *immediately takes cookie from Juli and eats it*
Linsey: You'd eat anything you...oh my god!
*Ashley shrinks to the size of Thumbelina*
Juli: ASHLEY! That was a sugar cookie! My favorite kind! [a vial of liquid falls in her hand, it says drink me] uhh...ok. {drinks it and becoms 12 feet tall] woah! I can see my house from here! Now I know how Qui-Gon feels!!
Linsey:[ grabs head in hands...] *mumbles* I'm not seeing this...this isn't happening..I'm not hallucinating, I'm not going crazy....
Juli: HEY ASHLEY! Hows the weather down there! heh, I've always wanted to say that. (been 5 foot her whole life)
Ashley: {holds up other half of cookie that is now bigger than she is as best she can] Here! Eat this whole thing!!
Juli:[eats one bite, returns to regular size, eats the other bite and shrinks to Ashley's size] WHY!!!! I was so happy being tall for once in my life!!!
[suddenly, a bee buzzes past them]
Buzzing bee: I'm early! I'm early for a very stupid meeting! I'm early for once!
Ashley scratches head] Goddamn that bee is huge *continues to stare at the bee, baffled*
Juli: Hey bee! You wanna tell us whats going on?
Bee: Sure, you at the cookie and you shrunk. That's when I got here. Now, I hafta take you to a trippy new dimension where you can have unsafe sex with Many Jedi and never once worry about getting pregnant!
Juli: SUH-WEET!!!!
Linsey: [watching in disbelief] you are so horny Juli!
Juli: HAHA! And you can't come with us!
Linsey: Why would I want--AHH! (Takes after a hot guy)
Bee: Please climb on buckle your safety belts and please remain seated until the bee has come to a complete stop Thank you!
Juli: Hot damn! [jumps on] I feel like I'm at disney world
Ashley: Yeah this is so great! WAAAAIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!! I hafta grab my phonics!!!!
Juli: [grabs Ashley and puts back on Bee] NO TIME TO WASTE! HOT JEDI WAITING FOR A FUCK! MUST GO NOW!!!!
Bee: Thank you for flying B.E.E flyways, we will be taking off now
Juli: Any complimentary peantuts?
Bee: No.