1 $10 Worth of an Interview from Racetrack
Interview Done By: Lilah Delilah… or me… Katie Louden
Cameraman: Rob-Roy Fingerhead *ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*
Extras: Spot, Pie Eater
This is the second interview I've written. For the record, I LOVE Max Casella (Racetrack) and what I say in here is completely fictional, obviously. Well… please R & R!
Oh, and ONE last thing; When I do the whole "ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!" bit, it's from the television show "The Monkees". There was a guy in it and every time they said his name, the guys would go, "ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!" I just think it's cute. *Grins*
Lilah Delilah: Hello all. Lilah Delilah here. Today is a special day, as all are. I am here to interview Racetrack, who happened to be in the last interview I had with Spot Conlon. Right now, I am here in an abandoned warehouse to talk to Racetrack.
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: I'm here too.
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*
Racetrack Higgins: I don't wanna be here!
Lilah: *Puts finger to lips* Let us begin our interview. *Gives Racetrack a dollar*
Racetrack: *Looks at dollar and takes it* Right. Go 'head.
Lilah: What's your full name Mr. Race?
Racetrack: Racetrack.
Lilah: *Scrunches face* Full name? *Gives Racetrack another dollar*
Racetrack: Racetrack Maxwell Higgins.
Lilah: *Nods* Very interesting. *Gets close to Racetrack* You are friends of both the leader of Manhattan and the leader of Brooklyn, are you not?
Racetrack: *Nods*
Lilah: *Gives Racetrack another dollar*
Racetrack: Right. Spot and…
Lilah: The leader of Brooklyn, who I happened to interview last, if you missed the first time I said that.
Racetrack: *Glares* Uh, right. Me and Jack have been friends since we was like 10. Jack took me ta meet Spot when he became da leada' in Brooklyn, about 2 years ago.
Lilah: Wow.
*Silence*
Racetrack: Can I go now?
Lilah: Do you have a pet? *Hands Racetrack yet another dollar*
Racetrack: *Grins* No. We ain't aloud ta have dogs in da…
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: Hey, have you guys ever seen that commercial with the talking dog in the truck and he drives the car into a lake with his owner screaming, "MOTHER OF PEARL!" and…
Lilah: Shut up! *Grins at camera* Now Race, is there a certain type of cheese that you enjoy eating?
Racetrack: *Puzzled* Cheese?
Lilah: Why yes, I happen to be a cheddar cheese girl ma'self! *Laughs uncontrollably*
Racetrack: Right.
Lilah: *Serious* Next question, where were you born?
Racetrack: Here.
*Door flies open and Spot Conlon enters*
Spot Conlon: Neva' fear, I am here! *Looks around* Where's da fire?
Lilah: My-o-my-o, look who it is! It's Spot Conlon, the young man I interviewed last.
*Pie Eater romps inside*
Pie Eater: Hi.
Lilah: *Confused* Who are you?
Pie Eater: I'm Pie Eater.
Lilah: Are you a newsie?
Pie Eater: *Nods* I'm the most famous one of all.
Spot and Racetrack: And he loves interviews!
Pie Eater: What?
Spot: Would you like ta be famous Pie?
Pie Eater: *Confused*
Lilah: No no! This is Racetrack! Everyone out!
Pie Eater: Huh?
Lilah: *Gives Pie Eater and Spot a dollar each*
Pie Eater and Spot: Bye. *Exit with dollars*
Racetrack: *Sighs* What friends I got.
Lilah: *Ignores Racetrack's last remark* If there was one thing you could wish would come true Mr. Racetrack, what would it be?
Racetrack: I'd like ta leave. *Raises eyebrows*
Lilah: *Sighs* Here. *Gives Racetrack a dollar* I don't have much more money left dear.
Racetrack: *Snickers* Go on. I don't got a lot'a time.
Lilah: Where does the Man on the Moon come from?
Racetrack: Da moon?
Lilah: Hm… interesting. Do you recall the story of The Three Pigs?
Racetrack: Da Tree LITTLE Pigs ya mean?
Lilah: Ah. *Nods* Intriguing.
Racetrack: *Confused* I'm just a bit lost.
Lilah: *Gives Racetrack a dollar* Have you found your way?
Racetrack: Ya can't pay me ta remember but, uh, sure.
Lilah: Wow. Well, I can buy $10 worth of your time can't I? Then I can leave.
Racetrack: Well…
Lilah: *Squints* And what is your current marital status Mr. Racetrack? I'm single. *Winks*
Racetrack: Well I'm, uh… *Looks around for a safe answer* *Thinks* *Lies* I'm gay.
Lilah: *Pulls herself back* Ah. Interesting. *Looks down at clipboard in hand*
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: Hey, have you guys seen that commercial where the two…
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*
Lilah: Shut up Rob-Roy Fingerhead!
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!
Racetrack: Is something wrong Lilah? *Chuckles*
Lilah: What? No.
Racetrack: Ask away den my dear.
Lilah: *Looks around* OK. Let's see. *Glances at clipboard and shakes head* No. Uh, *shakes head* no. Where do you, uh, *shakes head* no.
Racetrack: How old are you Lilah?
Lilah: *Raises an eyebrow* *Gives Racetrack a dollar* Don't ask. *Serious* Let's take a look at your childhood, shall we?
Racetrack: Sure.
*Silence*
Racetrack: Well?
Lilah: Uh, what were your parents like?
Racetrack: *Shrugs* I don't member.
Lilah: *Nods*
*Silence*
Racetrack: *Sighs* I'm not gay. *Mumbles* I guess lying doesn't help wit dis goil.
Lilah: *Grins* Great! *Stares lovingly into the camera* Not that I have anything against homosexuals. *Serious* Racetrack, one wish, a real wish this time, what would it be?
Racetrack: Can I have anudda' dollar?
Lilah: Of course my dear. *Gives Racetrack a dollar*
Racetrack: *Takes all of the dollars from his pocket* Here. *Hands dollars to Lilah* Here is $8 worth'a my time, plus da 2 bucks youse gave ta Pie and Spot. Now go to da train station and buy a ticket to a far away place. *Leaves*
Lilah: *Pouts* Well, that tears it folks. *Sniffs* This is Lilah Delilah signing off. Oh, this was great. If you're just joining us, that's it. I interviewed Racetrack Higgins. *Sniffs* I hope you didn't mean to miss this one, but you're lucky you did. Good-bye and have a great life… with your loved ones. *Bursts into tears*
WILL LILAH DELILAH GET OVER RACETRACK'S COMMENT AND MOVE ON TO A NEW NEWSIE TO INTERVIEW?!
… Of course.
Interview Done By: Lilah Delilah… or me… Katie Louden
Cameraman: Rob-Roy Fingerhead *ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*
Extras: Spot, Pie Eater
This is the second interview I've written. For the record, I LOVE Max Casella (Racetrack) and what I say in here is completely fictional, obviously. Well… please R & R!
Oh, and ONE last thing; When I do the whole "ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!" bit, it's from the television show "The Monkees". There was a guy in it and every time they said his name, the guys would go, "ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!" I just think it's cute. *Grins*
Lilah Delilah: Hello all. Lilah Delilah here. Today is a special day, as all are. I am here to interview Racetrack, who happened to be in the last interview I had with Spot Conlon. Right now, I am here in an abandoned warehouse to talk to Racetrack.
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: I'm here too.
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*
Racetrack Higgins: I don't wanna be here!
Lilah: *Puts finger to lips* Let us begin our interview. *Gives Racetrack a dollar*
Racetrack: *Looks at dollar and takes it* Right. Go 'head.
Lilah: What's your full name Mr. Race?
Racetrack: Racetrack.
Lilah: *Scrunches face* Full name? *Gives Racetrack another dollar*
Racetrack: Racetrack Maxwell Higgins.
Lilah: *Nods* Very interesting. *Gets close to Racetrack* You are friends of both the leader of Manhattan and the leader of Brooklyn, are you not?
Racetrack: *Nods*
Lilah: *Gives Racetrack another dollar*
Racetrack: Right. Spot and…
Lilah: The leader of Brooklyn, who I happened to interview last, if you missed the first time I said that.
Racetrack: *Glares* Uh, right. Me and Jack have been friends since we was like 10. Jack took me ta meet Spot when he became da leada' in Brooklyn, about 2 years ago.
Lilah: Wow.
*Silence*
Racetrack: Can I go now?
Lilah: Do you have a pet? *Hands Racetrack yet another dollar*
Racetrack: *Grins* No. We ain't aloud ta have dogs in da…
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: Hey, have you guys ever seen that commercial with the talking dog in the truck and he drives the car into a lake with his owner screaming, "MOTHER OF PEARL!" and…
Lilah: Shut up! *Grins at camera* Now Race, is there a certain type of cheese that you enjoy eating?
Racetrack: *Puzzled* Cheese?
Lilah: Why yes, I happen to be a cheddar cheese girl ma'self! *Laughs uncontrollably*
Racetrack: Right.
Lilah: *Serious* Next question, where were you born?
Racetrack: Here.
*Door flies open and Spot Conlon enters*
Spot Conlon: Neva' fear, I am here! *Looks around* Where's da fire?
Lilah: My-o-my-o, look who it is! It's Spot Conlon, the young man I interviewed last.
*Pie Eater romps inside*
Pie Eater: Hi.
Lilah: *Confused* Who are you?
Pie Eater: I'm Pie Eater.
Lilah: Are you a newsie?
Pie Eater: *Nods* I'm the most famous one of all.
Spot and Racetrack: And he loves interviews!
Pie Eater: What?
Spot: Would you like ta be famous Pie?
Pie Eater: *Confused*
Lilah: No no! This is Racetrack! Everyone out!
Pie Eater: Huh?
Lilah: *Gives Pie Eater and Spot a dollar each*
Pie Eater and Spot: Bye. *Exit with dollars*
Racetrack: *Sighs* What friends I got.
Lilah: *Ignores Racetrack's last remark* If there was one thing you could wish would come true Mr. Racetrack, what would it be?
Racetrack: I'd like ta leave. *Raises eyebrows*
Lilah: *Sighs* Here. *Gives Racetrack a dollar* I don't have much more money left dear.
Racetrack: *Snickers* Go on. I don't got a lot'a time.
Lilah: Where does the Man on the Moon come from?
Racetrack: Da moon?
Lilah: Hm… interesting. Do you recall the story of The Three Pigs?
Racetrack: Da Tree LITTLE Pigs ya mean?
Lilah: Ah. *Nods* Intriguing.
Racetrack: *Confused* I'm just a bit lost.
Lilah: *Gives Racetrack a dollar* Have you found your way?
Racetrack: Ya can't pay me ta remember but, uh, sure.
Lilah: Wow. Well, I can buy $10 worth of your time can't I? Then I can leave.
Racetrack: Well…
Lilah: *Squints* And what is your current marital status Mr. Racetrack? I'm single. *Winks*
Racetrack: Well I'm, uh… *Looks around for a safe answer* *Thinks* *Lies* I'm gay.
Lilah: *Pulls herself back* Ah. Interesting. *Looks down at clipboard in hand*
Rob-Roy Fingerhead: Hey, have you guys seen that commercial where the two…
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*
Lilah: Shut up Rob-Roy Fingerhead!
*ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!
Racetrack: Is something wrong Lilah? *Chuckles*
Lilah: What? No.
Racetrack: Ask away den my dear.
Lilah: *Looks around* OK. Let's see. *Glances at clipboard and shakes head* No. Uh, *shakes head* no. Where do you, uh, *shakes head* no.
Racetrack: How old are you Lilah?
Lilah: *Raises an eyebrow* *Gives Racetrack a dollar* Don't ask. *Serious* Let's take a look at your childhood, shall we?
Racetrack: Sure.
*Silence*
Racetrack: Well?
Lilah: Uh, what were your parents like?
Racetrack: *Shrugs* I don't member.
Lilah: *Nods*
*Silence*
Racetrack: *Sighs* I'm not gay. *Mumbles* I guess lying doesn't help wit dis goil.
Lilah: *Grins* Great! *Stares lovingly into the camera* Not that I have anything against homosexuals. *Serious* Racetrack, one wish, a real wish this time, what would it be?
Racetrack: Can I have anudda' dollar?
Lilah: Of course my dear. *Gives Racetrack a dollar*
Racetrack: *Takes all of the dollars from his pocket* Here. *Hands dollars to Lilah* Here is $8 worth'a my time, plus da 2 bucks youse gave ta Pie and Spot. Now go to da train station and buy a ticket to a far away place. *Leaves*
Lilah: *Pouts* Well, that tears it folks. *Sniffs* This is Lilah Delilah signing off. Oh, this was great. If you're just joining us, that's it. I interviewed Racetrack Higgins. *Sniffs* I hope you didn't mean to miss this one, but you're lucky you did. Good-bye and have a great life… with your loved ones. *Bursts into tears*
WILL LILAH DELILAH GET OVER RACETRACK'S COMMENT AND MOVE ON TO A NEW NEWSIE TO INTERVIEW?!
… Of course.