All right, I know everyone loves a good rant, but I'm going straight into it. Some of my best work, this is. The old. The classic. The Lord of the Rings. The Sitcom. Here we go.
Lord of the
Rings: The Sitcom
Episode 3,018: Gandalf comes to town
Voice: Thank you for flying Arda Airlines. Please stay seated until the plane comes to a complete stop.
(Gandalf comes to the exit door)
Attendant: Thank you for flying Arda Air--
Gandalf: Shut up. I need to catch the connecting flight to Minas Tirith, can you move outta the way?
(Cut to: Gandalf walking out of terminal)
Aragorn: Gandalf! Long time no see! What's--
Gandalf: Shut up. I lost my baggage. At least they let me keep my staff. Did you bring your car?
Aragorn: Erm...Yeah...(thinking to self: 'He must be jet lagged, so cranky')
Gandalf: Where is it?
Aragorn: What?
Gandalf: Your car! Where is it?
Aragorn: Dude! Where's my car? Schnikes, I hate airport parking lots...
Gandalf: Don't expect me to take a mumakil taxi! Aragorn: (thinking: 'jet lag again')
Gandalf: So...Why's this city so damn white?
Aragorn: Erm...you're one to talk, Gandalf the WHITE.
The term seemed to anger him.
Gandalf: Shut up, Aragorn son of AraTHORN, as in, a real thorn in the as--
(Arwen drives by in the car and honks)
Aragorn: Pardon? Forget it, let's get in the car. So...Is this your vacation? How many can you take? How come you never take abode somewhere?
Gandalf: Actually, this is one of my sick days, but be quiet--
(Eagle suddenly flies up and away singing "Gandalf's in trouble, Gandalf's in trouble")
Gandalf: Damn. I thought that was a statue. Manwe's not gonna be happy.
Arwen: Stay at our place!
Aragorn: (thinking to self: Let's hope that jet lag wears off)
THE END
OF THIS EPISODE ANYWAY