"Simon get your ugly little ass down here NOW!" Eric Camden shrieked as he fixed his wig in the mirror.

Simon moaned from his back crippling position upstairs where he was sewing clothing for his family. Ever since Annie had died in a freak river dancing accident where she was stomped to death his family had hated him. Eric had brainwashed all his siblings to believe he was the cause of their mom's death even though he took ballet and was on stage after the river dancers.

After Annie's death, Eric changed. No longer was he the cheerful, gay community pastor. Now he was the creepy, psychotic man who lusts after other men, turning away from the Lord.

He married a nice "woman" named Gregetta who was formally known as Greg before his sex change operation.

"Simon, GET DOWN HERE!" Eric screeched again. He watched in amusement as Simon attempted to run down the stairs but his deformed back, which was curved from endless labour, prevented him and he tumbled to the bottom.

"Come on Quasimodo, I have a special chore for you,"

Eric lead Simon into the livign room where his whole family was sitting, ready to go out to a festivle that the royal family of Camdentownsville was hosting.

They all had designer clothes on, he glared jealously at his own clothes- torn shreds from the Goodwill.

" Now Simon, when we come home tomorrow morning I expect this room to be spotless," Eric stated as he walked over to random glass objects and smashed them onto Simon's body, making shards of glass stick into him.

"Do you understand? Can your mind comprehend such a simple chore?"

"Hehe I bet he will screw up!" Gregetta clapped he(r) hands delighfully then took Eric's arm as they walked out the door.

"Haha Simon clean up this!" Matt said as he pulled his pants down and started pissing everywhere, the floor, cutrains, dinner table and furniture..

"Yah and this!" Ruthie joined in as she dropped her pants and took a dump on the coffee table.

Simon stood there unmoving until he heard the front door close and lock signifying he was alone in the house. He dramatically dropped to his knees and started crying.

"Now, now what is thy problem child?"

Simon looked up and screamed. Standing before him was a 6ft tall centaur wearing a pink dress.

"My poor, poor child. Come here," But Simon only cowered away. The Centaur really frightened him. He has dark curly hair, with a moustache and long beard with things stuck in it. And when he talked his voice sounded like your grandmas.

"Wh- who are you?" Simon shrank back as the monster came closer.

"Why…I am your fairy godfather!"

"Oh Hell no!"

"Oh Hell yes!"

After an hour Simon calmed down enough to explain his fmaily situation to Twinkles.

:So let me get this straight," Twinkles said while knitting, " Your family is at a weekend getaway where thay are staying with the royal fmaily? And you are here cleaning up the house…HAHA sucks to be you!"

"Twinkles you bitch! My life sucks. All I ever wanted was to see Prince Faageet. I think he is so sexy," Simon stated as he dreamily glanced out the window.

Suddenly he felt a warmth around him and a cloud of dust covered his body. When it dissaperead he was wearing a sexy black strapless miniskirt matched with sparkling 4inch" purple highheels with cute little butterflies on them. He took one step towards the mirror but tragically fell and snapped both his ankles. He lay on the floor in a shape similar to a macaroni noodle due to his back.

" Hahaha- oops I mean poor Simon! Let me help you," Twinkles shook his sequin tail and Simon now had the ability to walk in highheels!

As Simon glanced in the mirror he nearly fainted from his own beauty.

"Okay Simon stop gawking, you are not that pretty! Go to the party but you better be home by 4 am or your clothes will dissapear and youll be naked! Byee!"

With that he banished into a puff of smoke.

Simon somehow got to the party. Maybe he walked or ran or biked who cares.But as he opened the huge palace doors and started to walk down the staircase his eyes met Prince Faageet across the room.

Prince Faageet femininly sauntered over to Simon because just look at his name he had to live up to it

"Hey Beautiful whats your name?"

"Omgish! My name is Simon your higness!"

"Do you care to dance?"

"Why yes, I would like that very much,"

Prince Faageet Didn't seem disgusted as he put his hand on Simons deformed back to waltz and Simon knew that this was pure love.

Time flyed past as Simon was grinding on the dance floor to My Humps, showing off his own back hump.

Little did he know that it was almost 4 am. He was so caught up in the rapture that as the clock struck 4 his clothes disappeared. The remaining guests laughed at him. Prince Faggeet stared at him for a long time without blinking.

Simon ran away in tears but Prince Faggeet ran after him catching him in his arms.

"Oh Simon your so beautiful, marry me?"

"of course!"

They spent the night at the castle partaking in various activities and the next day they were married.

THE END