A/N: I am writing this because I needed something to entertain y'all while
I worked on Future's Shadow. Enjoy this not-so-lovely short story! Please
don't mind if it's a bit sloppy! Oh, and by the way - it's SUPPOSED to be
stupid!
Harry walked down the third floor corridor. He couldn't help but remember the ordeal that took place four years ago. Suddenly, a small, four- winged creature shot past his head, nearly bowling him over. "What the." he said loudly. Then, flying at breakneck speed, a blue-gold blur rocketed over him, trailing well-combusted rocket fuel exhaust. He was peering down the corridor when suddenly, a huge bladed beast came barreling down a side hall. It yelled "Ghafrash nit! Gah fallit you!" Harry looked up, fearfully. The creature stood seven feet tall, and had razor sharp blades everywhere, with a beaklike mouth, and three forward-raked horns. "Ah! I gulferch you and eat your lulcath! Ha ha! Fergutth vir puny body! " the beast snarled. It ran off. Suddenly, Voldemort came barreling down the same hall, crying, being closely pursued by Dick Cheney and a large, pulsing worm. "I've taken over the U.S., I'll take over the world! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!" shouted Cheney as he pursued Voldemort. The worm hissed "Srrreeeee snniiiiitt seeeeewaaaaarrrreeeeee!" and skittered off. Next, Malfoy staggered in from seemingly nowhere. He was clutching his stomach, and breathing heavily. Malfoy fell, attempted to crawl toward Harry, and promptly vomited blood all over the stone floor. He gasped "Heeeeeee.heeeelllllllllp meeeeeeee." Harry drew back. Malfoy then went into a seizure, smearing blood from a dozen broken-open bruises on his body, and vomiting up enormous amounts of blood. Harry sprinted down the hall, but was met by a haz-mat team in orange suits. "CONTAMINATION ALERT!!!!" screamed one of them, and they erected an isolation tent around him at warp-speed. From apparently nowhere, a blue centaur with a scorpion tail and stalk eyes galloped in and said in an unheard voice The Zero-space rift is opening! We must run! The centaur slashed open the tent, and as several dozen haz-mat guys tried to catch him, Harry scrambled out of the tent, leaping over Malfoy's now- dead body, and ran down the hall. He slipped on the spilt blood, falling. He got up, wiping a little blood from the corner of his mouth, trying to suppress the urge to throw up. Then, from nowhere (yes, kids, it's nowhere AGAIN), a strange creature with a horse-like head, hands in place of feet, and a short torso ran up to him. It was dressed in a leather racing outfit. Suddenly, its pants burst into flames, and it screamed, running circles around Harry as it yelled, "GWAAAAAH! PUSHII WUMPA!!!!!!" He ran into a classroom, away from the mad creature, slamming the door. There he saw a deranged high-jumper yelling "The Amazons are coming! The Amazons are coming!" The girl was suddenly sane, and said in a sinister voice "I am Visser Five. Prepare to be infested!" Two strange, yellow creatures seized him and forced his head into a slimy pool in the corner of the room. With a wave of revulsion, he felt a large slimy slug crawl into his head. He suddenly felt himself under the control of another being, watching the world around him from a television-like state. An evil voice said inside his head BWA HA HA HA! You're mine now, human! I am Visser Seven, no one resists me! Just then, Osama bin Laden came barreling into the classroom, wagged his finger, and said, "Oh, you are a very, very bad man!" Suddenly, he heard Ron's voice. He opened his eyes to find himself in his bed. 'It was a dream.' he thought. But, as he groggily got out of bed, he noticed that he had a pounding headache, and a bad backache, too. However, he didn't notice the small, bleeding bruise on his arm.
Harry walked down the third floor corridor. He couldn't help but remember the ordeal that took place four years ago. Suddenly, a small, four- winged creature shot past his head, nearly bowling him over. "What the." he said loudly. Then, flying at breakneck speed, a blue-gold blur rocketed over him, trailing well-combusted rocket fuel exhaust. He was peering down the corridor when suddenly, a huge bladed beast came barreling down a side hall. It yelled "Ghafrash nit! Gah fallit you!" Harry looked up, fearfully. The creature stood seven feet tall, and had razor sharp blades everywhere, with a beaklike mouth, and three forward-raked horns. "Ah! I gulferch you and eat your lulcath! Ha ha! Fergutth vir puny body! " the beast snarled. It ran off. Suddenly, Voldemort came barreling down the same hall, crying, being closely pursued by Dick Cheney and a large, pulsing worm. "I've taken over the U.S., I'll take over the world! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!" shouted Cheney as he pursued Voldemort. The worm hissed "Srrreeeee snniiiiitt seeeeewaaaaarrrreeeeee!" and skittered off. Next, Malfoy staggered in from seemingly nowhere. He was clutching his stomach, and breathing heavily. Malfoy fell, attempted to crawl toward Harry, and promptly vomited blood all over the stone floor. He gasped "Heeeeeee.heeeelllllllllp meeeeeeee." Harry drew back. Malfoy then went into a seizure, smearing blood from a dozen broken-open bruises on his body, and vomiting up enormous amounts of blood. Harry sprinted down the hall, but was met by a haz-mat team in orange suits. "CONTAMINATION ALERT!!!!" screamed one of them, and they erected an isolation tent around him at warp-speed. From apparently nowhere, a blue centaur with a scorpion tail and stalk eyes galloped in and said in an unheard voice The Zero-space rift is opening! We must run! The centaur slashed open the tent, and as several dozen haz-mat guys tried to catch him, Harry scrambled out of the tent, leaping over Malfoy's now- dead body, and ran down the hall. He slipped on the spilt blood, falling. He got up, wiping a little blood from the corner of his mouth, trying to suppress the urge to throw up. Then, from nowhere (yes, kids, it's nowhere AGAIN), a strange creature with a horse-like head, hands in place of feet, and a short torso ran up to him. It was dressed in a leather racing outfit. Suddenly, its pants burst into flames, and it screamed, running circles around Harry as it yelled, "GWAAAAAH! PUSHII WUMPA!!!!!!" He ran into a classroom, away from the mad creature, slamming the door. There he saw a deranged high-jumper yelling "The Amazons are coming! The Amazons are coming!" The girl was suddenly sane, and said in a sinister voice "I am Visser Five. Prepare to be infested!" Two strange, yellow creatures seized him and forced his head into a slimy pool in the corner of the room. With a wave of revulsion, he felt a large slimy slug crawl into his head. He suddenly felt himself under the control of another being, watching the world around him from a television-like state. An evil voice said inside his head BWA HA HA HA! You're mine now, human! I am Visser Seven, no one resists me! Just then, Osama bin Laden came barreling into the classroom, wagged his finger, and said, "Oh, you are a very, very bad man!" Suddenly, he heard Ron's voice. He opened his eyes to find himself in his bed. 'It was a dream.' he thought. But, as he groggily got out of bed, he noticed that he had a pounding headache, and a bad backache, too. However, he didn't notice the small, bleeding bruise on his arm.