Disclaimer: Characters are not mine; they belong to Inoue-Takehiko.
Tick tock tick tock….
I lay there in bed still awake, still wondering…
I turned to face my right; a figure shuffled itself slightly under the blanket next to me. I pulled it down slightly, revealing a familiar but naked figure with black hair and porcelain-like skin. I sighed as I turned back to my front. How long can I keep this up? It's been a few month s already since I knew that you cheated on me Rukawa; and still I am still here with you, in bed with you, making love to you. I don't think you even love me anymore Rukawa but I'd be lying if I say I don't because I do…I know I do, If I didn't I would already have left.
I turned to Rukawa again, looking at him closely, taking in his features. How did it ever come this way? How could you ever have the heart to cheat on me…was what I giving you not enough? …Are you sick of me? I sighed again. Being unfaithful is one thing but the fact that you're able to pretend as if you didn't hurt me even more. Maybe its better if I hadn't known, its better if I hadn't accidently saw you with Sendoh together and kissing.
I wanted to hurt you so much. I wanted to just mess you up so badly. But then, what good will that even do? I am done using violence on you. That may have worked back then but it's different now.
I guess it couldn't be help now, we both know we're only waiting for the right time for a break up. Maybe I should've just done it month's ago, maybe I should stop the pain I feel everyday. But I didn't. I didn't want to. So, instead I tried making everyday as if it's the last. Ever since that day, ever since I saw you there with him, nothing has been the same. For a while, it did, but slowly you started being almost fed up with me. When we made love, it's as if you felt as if you have to, as if it's a duty. And those excuses you give just so you could meet Sendoh.
Even that time, when I wanted to surprise you, I wanted to show how much you mean to me, I was determined to change your mind. I had everything planned out, you were out and so I planned a dinner for two with candles and cooked all those meals you told me you love so much. It was a lot of work and effort on my part but I know, I know it will be worth it. I waited and waited nervously, my eyes checking the clock every 5 minutes. An hour passed by, but I still sat there waiting. 2 hours: no problem, it is only just 10 pm. 3 hours passed, the clock pointing to 1: 00am. I frowned, sighed, and stood up from my seat. You never came. I kept all the food and blew out the worn out fire on the candle. All my efforts I put in wasted for you and you never even showed up.
I slowly raised my hand and stroked your delicate but soft messy black hair gently. "I Love you Rukawa…" I whispered softly as I leaned slightly in, brushing our lips lightly together. You moved slightly from the contact. I smiled. I pulled away slowly as I wrapped my arm around you, holding you in my embrace for how long it may last. Until that day comes, I am just going to have to make the most of what I still have with you.